Reply to Why are so many women I'm meeting having mental health issues?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s not just women. When I was single, I dated many men with depression, anxiety, addiction, or BPD. But they rarely told me about it right away, or at all- sometimes to hide it, sometimes because they didn’t recognize they had it. Which makes things very messy when I have to end things weeks/months/tears down the road.

The bigger issue was why I was attracting those types of people. Took me a lot of therapy to figure that out. [/quote]

What did therapy reveal as the reason you were attracted to these men and vice versa? I’m experiencing the same thing as you and trying to understand how to break this pattern.[/quote]

PP here. Basically, due to my family of origin, I’m very codependent and I find security in having someone who is dependent on me. Also, my own family was not affectionate or loving at all, so real emotional intimacy is tough for me. Instead I crave the fake intimacy that comes with the drama of mental illness. Also lots of self esteem issues.

That being said, I don’t know if I can break the pattern. Even after therapy I struggled with relationships with normal men. I felt very insecure with them. I’m married now to someone with mental illness and it’s a drag. If we divorce, I think I’ll just have to remain single the rest of my life. [/quote]

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