asked visiting SIL to take Lyft from airport and caused much drama...

[Anonymous]

Unless it’s international travel, it’s not an issue if adults get their own ride from the airport. Especially if you’re arriving at some ungodly early time. Is it nice to be picked up by a friend or by family? Sure. But it’s not a cause for anger if it doesn’t happen. SIL needs to grow up and move on. Just because she’s a younger sister doesn’t mean she needs to act like a baby.

[Anonymous]

Have not read the whole thread but I would feel so incredibly bad if I made a family member wake up to pick me up in person at 6 am. Cannot imagine being that entitled!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she sounds like a baby OP. You said she was in her 30s which means she should be "in the know" about tech and how to use Uber/Lyft. If the person in question is a senior citizen, I would get it. (And, I'm 62 and I get my own "damn Lyfts".)

Your DH sounds passive/aggressive to me. How dare he blame you for not getting his sister! He's a baby too!

I made my 50 something year old sister figure out how to take buses from Dulles to Georgetown (because we couldn't get her and it was before LYft/Uber). Guess what? She did...no questions asked. She took the 5A to Rossyln and then got a bus from there to G'town.

So, I would sing one of my old kid songs to your DH..."baby,, baby stick your head in the gravy"...

+100. She's clueless about kids to boot. What a child.

[Anonymous]

I am 43. Have never used Lyft or Über and have no idea how. I could figure it out if I had to but I am very fortunate to have family who are usually happy that I am coming to visit and more than willing to give me a drive. After reading this thread I realize I have taken them for granted, not realizing few would do that favor for family.

I enjoy waiting for people at the airport. It's funny I hae someone there when you arrive and to greet them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No wonder so many of you can’t keep a man for long. Op, if I were your SIL, I wouldn’t come visit you again for many years.

Because as we all know "keeping a man" is the epitome of success.

Oh look 1950 showed up. Set us straight gramma. I wouldn't want a sil like this to visit me. Dh would be on the couch for a year if he whined about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family is really weird about airport pickups too. I have a three year old and a six month old. You're arriving at 5PM, when we're all leaving work/daycare. It is literally a $12 Uber / Lyft ride. I will pay for it. Just take a darned Uber / Lyft, people!

I honestly think that because they're from an area where they never use ridesharing / taxis it's just an insecurity thing.

They want you to be at the gate yelling welcome with arms outstretched and then take over all the thinking from there.

[Anonymous]

Does she never travel? This is so bizarre to me. I once arrived back at DCA at midnight, 7 months pregnant, and it never even occurred to me to have my husband pick me up when I could just hop in an Uber. But then, we both traveled frequently for work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think families are just different. Some here see a visitor as a nuisance - there attitude is fine, as long as I don't have to lift a finger and do anything for you...then great visit. If you want to use your time and money to come here, that is your choice, don't expect me to be appreciative.

Other people see family and friends and visitors very differently.

In my family we always pick each other up at the airport. The idea of 'find your own way to our house if you want to come' is foreign to us. It sounds like OPs DH also comes from a family that has stronger bonds and appreciates visits and OP just sees having to entertain her SIL as a nuisance

We also do other things for each other, we do give time and money towards each other - and it is reciprocal. You are flying there and spending money to see us, we appreciate that so we will do x and y for you.

There are a lot of people who truly feel they should never do anything for anyone else. That their own needs and wants are all that matters and they feel entitled to be as self centered as they want to be.

This is the most passive aggressive "my family has stronger bonds" bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think families are just different. Some here see a visitor as a nuisance - there attitude is fine, as long as I don't have to lift a finger and do anything for you...then great visit. If you want to use your time and money to come here, that is your choice, don't expect me to be appreciative.

Other people see family and friends and visitors very differently.

In my family we always pick each other up at the airport. The idea of 'find your own way to our house if you want to come' is foreign to us. It sounds like OPs DH also comes from a family that has stronger bonds and appreciates visits and OP just sees having to entertain her SIL as a nuisance

We also do other things for each other, we do give time and money towards each other - and it is reciprocal. You are flying there and spending money to see us, we appreciate that so we will do x and y for you.

There are a lot of people who truly feel they should never do anything for anyone else. That their own needs and wants are all that matters and they feel entitled to be as self centered as they want to be.

Nope. People don't think they should have to do things for someone else that a FULLY GROWN ASS ADULT should be able to do for themselves. Just like the OP doesn't expect the SIL to pick her up at the airport. Enough with this co-dependent BS. Learn to do things for yourself.

I make a point to ignore advice offered by DCUM posters who use the phrase "grown ass." it's gross and is a red flag that indicates someone who's uneducated, immature, selfish or all of these things. All bad traits.

No one cares what you make it a point to ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nope. People don't think they should have to do things for someone else that a FULLY GROWN ASS ADULT should be able to do for themselves. Just like the OP doesn't expect the SIL to pick her up at the airport. Enough with this co-dependent BS. Learn to do things for yourself.

I make a point to ignore advice offered by DCUM posters who use the phrase "grown ass." it's gross and is a red flag that indicates someone who's uneducated, immature, selfish or all of these things. All bad traits.

You are a grown ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Have been in this exact same scenario with my MIL.

Depending on your MIL's age and health, there's a big difference between a MIL and a young SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think families are just different. Some here see a visitor as a nuisance - there attitude is fine, as long as I don't have to lift a finger and do anything for you...then great visit. If you want to use your time and money to come here, that is your choice, don't expect me to be appreciative.

Other people see family and friends and visitors very differently.

In my family we always pick each other up at the airport. The idea of 'find your own way to our house if you want to come' is foreign to us. It sounds like OPs DH also comes from a family that has stronger bonds and appreciates visits and OP just sees having to entertain her SIL as a nuisance

We also do other things for each other, we do give time and money towards each other - and it is reciprocal. You are flying there and spending money to see us, we appreciate that so we will do x and y for you.

There are a lot of people who truly feel they should never do anything for anyone else. That their own needs and wants are all that matters and they feel entitled to be as self centered as they want to be.

This is the most passive aggressive "my family has stronger bonds" bullshit.

NP here. I didn't read that post as being passive aggressive, but it does seem to have hit a nerve...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have not read the whole thread but I would feel so incredibly bad if I made a family member wake up to pick me up in person at 6 am. Cannot imagine being that entitled!

You're missing the point that many family members would feel so incredibly bad if they didn't go pick up their visiting relatives from the airport, etc, and they insist on doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No wonder so many of you can’t keep a man for long. Op, if I were your SIL, I wouldn’t come visit you again for many years.

You sound like an entitled selfish brat. They paid for the ride... why expect someone to set an alarm at 5am to pick your ass up? They paid for it!

Unless you are really poor (you must be), not everything is about money!

Did SIL coordinate her flight with OP and her brother’s schedules so they could pick her up? I doubt it. P

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have not read the whole thread but I would feel so incredibly bad if I made a family member wake up to pick me up in person at 6 am. Cannot imagine being that entitled!

You're missing the point that many family members would feel so incredibly bad if they didn't go pick up their visiting relatives from the airport, etc, and they insist on doing it.

Not all of us base our everyday decisions on guilt. It’s impractical for an able-bodied adult to except hosts to drive two hours to pick them up at 6am in the morning.