Ever lie to your spouse/family re business trips?

[Anonymous]

OP, what did you want from posting here? You asked if anyone else lies and completely makes up business trips in order to travel alone 12-14 days a year. And everyone said no, we don’t do that. What were you hoping would happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Are either if your parents alcoholics? There's a very strange way you avoid taking responsibility for your actions....

+1

OP here - no alcoholics in the family; neither parent drinks at all. Not sure why that even matters.

Because the way you are lying to avoid conflict is really characteristic of people raised by addicts or narcissists. If your husband is really as much of a martinet as he would have to be to justify your fear of his reaction, he would also be a narcissist. This is not, at all, a “normal” situation you are in.

[Anonymous]

No. This sounds very weird and disturbing.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have not read all previous responses. I do it a lot, but I don't lie about it. My kids are older now, but I have done this as soon as I stopped breast feeding them. My husband does not see any problems with that. I travel to some foreign countries on my own too. I have family overseas, so when I travel to visit them, I always book a layover from 1-2 days to 1 week in Europe and just walk around the towns on my own. I do NYC trips a lot too, sometimes with one of my daughters, sometimes along. Locally, I go to Philly, Hot Springs, Williamsburg, Virginia Beach. I did a yoga retreats couple times too.

My husband knows I am a great mom and I work hard too. I just need some time for myself to recharge.

For me the problem would be lying. I've been married for 20 years and cannot imagine doing this behind my husband's back. Why don't you just tell hime. Don't ask for his permission, just tell him that you booked a trip to NYC because you missed it so much and really feel like to go there.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine lying to my DH about a fake business trip. If somehow it was discovered there would be no way he would not assume I was having an affair. I'd react the same way if he did it. If you need some "time outs" tell him, as we all need time outs - girls weekend, guys golf trips etc. My DH knows I need time outs but he also knows I love coming home from business trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine lying to my DH about a fake business trip. If somehow it was discovered there would be no way he would not assume I was having an affair. I'd react the same way if he did it. If you need some "time outs" tell him, as we all need time outs - girls weekend, guys golf trips etc. My DH knows I need time outs but he also knows I love coming home from business trips.

I think OP has much bigger problem than she is willing to disclose here.

[Anonymous]

Feeling is fine lies are no bueno.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine lying to my DH about a fake business trip. If somehow it was discovered there would be no way he would not assume I was having an affair. I'd react the same way if he did it. If you need some "time outs" tell him, as we all need time outs - girls weekend, guys golf trips etc. My DH knows I need time outs but he also knows I love coming home from business trips.

I think OP has much bigger problem than she is willing to disclose here.

Such as?

[Anonymous]

You are very lucky to be married to a man who takes such good care of your home and children while you are gone that you can just take off stress free. Every time I am gone, my kids get off schedule, everyone eats fast food or mac n cheese for two days, and the house is a mess. Plus whiny phone calls from DH about how hard it is.

Needless to say, I hate work travel and would extend or make it up.

[Anonymous]

I've worked in an all male industry for 20+ years. Men have been doing all this for decades. I watch the men I work with do this all the time. Over half of all business travel in most industries isn't even needed, or not more than 1 day anyway. Plus married men with kids have to "work late" so much. Not much actually gets done while working late- just avoiding crazy dinner and bedtime at home. I get that they need to unwind a bit, but it is excessive

So, girl, you take that extra day here and there to relax. You probably need it, and it's nowhere near what most men have been doing forever

[Anonymous]

Maybe stop lying once your children are older? I take trips every 3 months but I am a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

I'd be pissed if I found out my DH was doing this and expecting me to do all the house/kids stuff because he needed a break and couldn't tell me about it.

If he told me that he needed a break, I'd be happy to help him take extra solo vacations or add time onto the end-beginning of a trip.

It's that simple. You need the break. I get that. But you are unfairly burdening your spouse if you don't tell them what you are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've worked in an all male industry for 20+ years. Men have been doing all this for decades. I watch the men I work with do this all the time. Over half of all business travel in most industries isn't even needed, or not more than 1 day anyway. Plus married men with kids have to "work late" so much. Not much actually gets done while working late- just avoiding crazy dinner and bedtime at home. I get that they need to unwind a bit, but it is excessive

So, girl, you take that extra day here and there to relax. You probably need it, and it's nowhere near what most men have been doing forever

Should she also continue creating completely fake trips to relax, like she's started to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Are either if your parents alcoholics? There's a very strange way you avoid taking responsibility for your actions....

+1

OP here - no alcoholics in the family; neither parent drinks at all. Not sure why that even matters.

Adult children of alcoholics are a special breed. They have lots of work to do to grow up and stop acting like middle schoolers, which you do, too, it seems.

[Anonymous]

We all need a break at times and couples in a good marriage find ways to make it happen. If someone needs to lie about it then there is a big problem at home.