Ever lie to your spouse/family re business trips?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- didn't realize this thread was still going. Thanks for the advice but it's become clear to me that I'm not interested in changing. I need to get away -- looking forward to another trip in a month or so -- and my DH wouldn't understand no matter how much everyone says "just talk about it, everyone gets it." Maybe I stop going on these trips naturally in a few years once the kids are interesting enough that I want to be around -- or maybe not. And for those saying, I'm taking $ away from the family -- eh -- I don't feel that way since I make more than 1/2 of the money and I manage all the investments etc. and am able to generate a return beyond just my salary.

It is sad that you are talking about your kids this way. I travelled around the world with my kids when they were as young as 3 m. You not only have no trusting relations with your husband, you have no interest in your own kids. Please, come back to this thread when your family will fall apart.

Mommy martyr much? It's ok for men to be uninterested in their kids but not the women? Not everyone is into babies.

It is sad when any adult, regardless of gender, chose to bring a child into this world, and then decides that he/she uninterested in the child. I am not mommy martyr, but I do love my children and would never say, or even think, something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- didn't realize this thread was still going. Thanks for the advice but it's become clear to me that I'm not interested in changing. I need to get away -- looking forward to another trip in a month or so -- and my DH wouldn't understand no matter how much everyone says "just talk about it, everyone gets it." Maybe I stop going on these trips naturally in a few years once the kids are interesting enough that I want to be around -- or maybe not. And for those saying, I'm taking $ away from the family -- eh -- I don't feel that way since I make more than 1/2 of the money and I manage all the investments etc. and am able to generate a return beyond just my salary.

It is sad that you are talking about your kids this way. I travelled around the world with my kids when they were as young as 3 m. You not only have no trusting relations with your husband, you have no interest in your own kids. Please, come back to this thread when your family will fall apart.

Mommy martyr much? It's ok for men to be uninterested in their kids but not the women? Not everyone is into babies.

It is sad when any adult, regardless of gender, chose to bring a child into this world, and then decides that he/she uninterested in the child. I am not mommy martyr, but I do love my children and would never say, or even think, something like that.

I guess some people find out too late. That's why I don't see the point of social pressure placed on women to bear children. So many threads on DCUM moaning about "Why does so-and-so not want children when I would make a good grandparent" or "Should we have kids?" illustrates this. Then they end up in OP's shoes.

[Anonymous]

I'm a DH and I hate traveling. So no, I never lie and I only take essential trips. I avoid ad many that can possibly be avoided

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DH and I hate traveling. So no, I never lie and I only take essential trips. I avoid ad many that can possibly be avoided

So? Some people like to travel and some don't. What's your point?

[Anonymous]

Just one question: would you be mad if you found out DH was doing it?

[Anonymous]

I only travel when I really need to for work and I don't stretch it out for days for personal time. However, I used to rush home as soon as possible (i.e. if meeting ends at 6 PM, I'd get a flight that night so I could be home ASAP even if it was a red eye). But when I get home, DH is immediately in relax mode and expects me to instantly become default caregiver as "payback" for him holding down the fort while I was gone.

I understand why he felt that way but I would be absolutely exhausted from travel and rushing home so I was running myself ragged. Now, I'll fly out at a reasonable time the next day or take flights at more reasonable times (no red eyes) so that I'm rested and ready to go into default parent mode when I get home and DH can relax. I still tell DH I'm coming home as soon as I can but I changed my own definition for "as soon as I can" to "as soon as I can without exhausting myself".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only travel when I really need to for work and I don't stretch it out for days for personal time. However, I used to rush home as soon as possible (i.e. if meeting ends at 6 PM, I'd get a flight that night so I could be home ASAP even if it was a red eye). But when I get home, DH is immediately in relax mode and expects me to instantly become default caregiver as "payback" for him holding down the fort while I was gone.

I understand why he felt that way but I would be absolutely exhausted from travel and rushing home so I was running myself ragged. Now, I'll fly out at a reasonable time the next day or take flights at more reasonable times (no red eyes) so that I'm rested and ready to go into default parent mode when I get home and DH can relax. I still tell DH I'm coming home as soon as I can but I changed my own definition for "as soon as I can" to "as soon as I can without exhausting myself".

I hope he finds out.

What's the difference between you working and traveling and him working and watching the kids? He deserves a break too - you get one in the hotel at night. He gets no break while you're away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in a job with some limited travel -- like 2-6 times/yr. Lately though I've had a lot more local work so we're down to more like 2 trips/yr which I'm unhappy with as I prefer to be out of town and out of the office. Am I the only one who lies to DH about "having" to go on business trips? In past years, like 1 or 2 times a yr, it would be an actual 2 night business trip which I'd stretch into 3-4 nights on my own dime. More recently I've suddenly "invented" a reason I need to be away -- taking 1-2 days vacation time and paying for it myself. And before anyone asks -- NO I'm not seeing anyone or having an affair or hooking up on these trips; usually I don't even talk to anyone unless it's like a waiter or hotel check in clerk. Last time I did this, I "had to" travel the week before Christmas and I went to NYC for 2 nights, walked around the city, took in the sights etc. And now it's ONLY been 4 months and I'm kind of looking into booking another 1-2 night getaway. It's just a chance to get away from the routine of work, DH and toddler kids.

I don't pick exotic places -- either NYC (which is common for my work) or some middle market city that I've gone to previously for work that I liked, so I'm ok hanging there for a few days; usually book a nice hotel and just kind of decompress. DH doesn't take care of the finances so it's not like he questions the flight/hotels and if he were to it's easy to say -- oh I put it on our CC for the points but don't worry I've submitted for reimbursement so it'll be in my next paycheck; he isn't following up by checking my paycheck so he has no idea why $500-1000 got spent.

Hung out with a bunch of other moms tonight who were going on about how much they HATE to travel when they have to do it once/yr that they try to get out of it. Meanwhile I'm thinking - am I the ONLY woman who feels this way!? I know dudes who are quick to jump on work trips bc they honestly don't mind being away from their wife/family for a bit and I guess I agree with them. Anyone else??

I definitely would have done this in my first marriage.

[Anonymous]

Hilarious thread. DH would do this if he were creative enough to think of it. And I'd do it if I weren't too cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hilarious thread. DH would do this if he were creative enough to think of it. And I'd do it if I weren't too cheap.

Looks like your marriage is safe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hilarious thread. DH would do this if he were creative enough to think of it. And I'd do it if I weren't too cheap.

Looks like your marriage is safe

Told DH about this thread. He said he’d only fake a work trip to his parents so we could both escape because he’d be lonely without me.

I told him the feeling was not mutual

[Anonymous]

Op here - surprised this thread hasn’t gone away. In fact headed out for 3 days at the end of the weekend for a trip I “have to” go on. And contemplating at least 2 others this year.

[Anonymous]

OP is a troll I suspect

[Anonymous]

I am completely on your side OP. I love my children but they drain me. My husband is another case. I told my boss that I am happy to travel anywhere anytime. Really looking forward to those trips. So, no you are not alone.

[Anonymous]

No because I actually look forward to getting home. My DH will once I awhile take an extra day if he's near family. If either of us wanted to take an extra day we'd do it for a good reason. He's done it on European business trips a couple of times and I encourage it because who knows if we'll ever get to some of the places he has to visit.