go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go into debt. Surely your parents know your finances? Maybe they were going to pay for the house? What if it's a 3 day trip instead of a week trip?

OBX houses are for a week.

It will cost us around $700 for the house, plus food and gas, so $1000.

And let's be real, we don't really want to go. A week away with two babies? All of us sharing one room? Blah.

So...would you go into debt over a vacation you don't want to go on, or would you go for the greater good of your family?

Ball up. Tell the truth and say it would be better to do this trip in a year or two

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have never vacationed with our extended family (we didn't even vacation much when we were little), This year my parents asked if we could get a house in the Outer Banks.
brother (single)
my parents
my sister, husband, two kids (6 and 4)
us: me, husband, two kids, 2 and 9 months

We could go into debt over this. We are saving for a house and new car. We are paying back a massive loan from a recent move. Money is tight and we simply cannot afford this trip.

But if we cancel, the whole trip will likely be off and I don't want to take the blame for that.

WWYD?

Absolutely NOT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You messed up,when you played along and suggested homes. Wth? It is one thing to not say no to a general idea that seems like it will pass. By why go to the extreme of suggesting homes to rent?

First, you woukd not be going into debt if you are saving. You woukd not be saving as much (it would be stupid to go into debt with money sitting in a low earning saving account for a future purchase).

Second, if you are going to back out, do it now. Say you reconsidered and you really want to put more money towards your house savings. And say especially because the kids are such horrible sleepers and you will all be miserable.

I have been talking to my sister all along. She keeps saying “do you really think this will happen? Mom and Dad can’t even stay a weekend when they come. And dad hates the sun. Will this really happen?”

We are both kind of waiting for this to crumble.

This sounds like more about your issues with your family than money. Seek therapy.

Also, it's not considered "going into debt" if you are instead saving the money.

I am in therapy for family issues. LOL.

And yeah, I totally worded it wrong (maybe I didnt have my coffee yet?) It's more: Should we spend our savings on this vacation? Not, should we go into debt?

Dip into savings? yes. Go into debt, no.

Not dip. Spend our savings. (Not emergency fund, but house and car savings.)

Jesus, just tell them you don't want to go. Most people are saving for something. I thought you were paycheck to paycheck, and in that case I'd tell you to not go even if you *want* to go. You're not! You're saving. Finances aren't the issue . Just say you don't want to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You messed up,when you played along and suggested homes. Wth? It is one thing to not say no to a general idea that seems like it will pass. By why go to the extreme of suggesting homes to rent?

First, you woukd not be going into debt if you are saving. You woukd not be saving as much (it would be stupid to go into debt with money sitting in a low earning saving account for a future purchase).

Second, if you are going to back out, do it now. Say you reconsidered and you really want to put more money towards your house savings. And say especially because the kids are such horrible sleepers and you will all be miserable.

I have been talking to my sister all along. She keeps saying “do you really think this will happen? Mom and Dad can’t even stay a weekend when they come. And dad hates the sun. Will this really happen?”

We are both kind of waiting for this to crumble.

This sounds like more about your issues with your family than money. Seek therapy.

Also, it's not considered "going into debt" if you are instead saving the money.

I am in therapy for family issues. LOL.

And yeah, I totally worded it wrong (maybe I didnt have my coffee yet?) It's more: Should we spend our savings on this vacation? Not, should we go into debt?

Dip into savings? yes. Go into debt, no.

Not dip. Spend our savings. (Not emergency fund, but house and car savings.)

Jesus, just tell them you don't want to go. Most people are saving for something. I thought you were paycheck to paycheck, and in that case I'd tell you to not go even if you *want* to go. You're not! You're saving. Finances aren't the issue . Just say you don't want to go.

Im not sure what to say. If I say money is right, people say we are irresponsible and shouldn’t have children.

If I say we have some money, people say to go.

If we go, that will set us back from getting a house about 6 months and set us back buying a car 8-9 months.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You messed up,when you played along and suggested homes. Wth? It is one thing to not say no to a general idea that seems like it will pass. By why go to the extreme of suggesting homes to rent?

First, you woukd not be going into debt if you are saving. You woukd not be saving as much (it would be stupid to go into debt with money sitting in a low earning saving account for a future purchase).

Second, if you are going to back out, do it now. Say you reconsidered and you really want to put more money towards your house savings. And say especially because the kids are such horrible sleepers and you will all be miserable.

I have been talking to my sister all along. She keeps saying “do you really think this will happen? Mom and Dad can’t even stay a weekend when they come. And dad hates the sun. Will this really happen?”

We are both kind of waiting for this to crumble.

This sounds like more about your issues with your family than money. Seek therapy.

Also, it's not considered "going into debt" if you are instead saving the money.

I am in therapy for family issues. LOL.

And yeah, I totally worded it wrong (maybe I didnt have my coffee yet?) It's more: Should we spend our savings on this vacation? Not, should we go into debt?

Dip into savings? yes. Go into debt, no.

Not dip. Spend our savings. (Not emergency fund, but house and car savings.)

Jesus, just tell them you don't want to go. Most people are saving for something. I thought you were paycheck to paycheck, and in that case I'd tell you to not go even if you *want* to go. You're not! You're saving. Finances aren't the issue . Just say you don't want to go.

Im not sure what to say. If I say money is right, people say we are irresponsible and shouldn’t have children.

If I say we have some money, people say to go.

If we go, that will set us back from getting a house about 6 months and set us back buying a car 8-9 months.

“Mom, Dad, we’d love to join in the family trip this year, but you know what are saving for a house so we just can’t go this year!”

(This is assuming you didn’t already commit, in which case I DO NOT think it’s right to back out.)

[Anonymous]

No way. But please in the future, address this head on and sooner.

[Anonymous]

I would use common sense and say no.

[Anonymous]

“It’s not in our budget this year.”

If questioned more,
“We are focusing on saving for a house, and our car needs replacing. Wish we could manage it..if we could, we would.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way. But please in the future, address this head on and sooner.

I know. I regret letting it go on this long (about 6 weeks of discussion via random emails and calls). Just this week have we gotten serious about houses and dates. My sister said she keeps waiting for my parents to cancel. I said we were in but needed to check the price.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You messed up,when you played along and suggested homes. Wth? It is one thing to not say no to a general idea that seems like it will pass. By why go to the extreme of suggesting homes to rent?

First, you woukd not be going into debt if you are saving. You woukd not be saving as much (it would be stupid to go into debt with money sitting in a low earning saving account for a future purchase).

Second, if you are going to back out, do it now. Say you reconsidered and you really want to put more money towards your house savings. And say especially because the kids are such horrible sleepers and you will all be miserable.

I have been talking to my sister all along. She keeps saying “do you really think this will happen? Mom and Dad can’t even stay a weekend when they come. And dad hates the sun. Will this really happen?”

We are both kind of waiting for this to crumble.

This sounds like more about your issues with your family than money. Seek therapy.

Also, it's not considered "going into debt" if you are instead saving the money.

I am in therapy for family issues. LOL.

And yeah, I totally worded it wrong (maybe I didnt have my coffee yet?) It's more: Should we spend our savings on this vacation? Not, should we go into debt?

Dip into savings? yes. Go into debt, no.

Not dip. Spend our savings. (Not emergency fund, but house and car savings.)

Jesus, just tell them you don't want to go. Most people are saving for something. I thought you were paycheck to paycheck, and in that case I'd tell you to not go even if you *want* to go. You're not! You're saving. Finances aren't the issue . Just say you don't want to go.

Im not sure what to say. If I say money is right, people say we are irresponsible and shouldn’t have children.

If I say we have some money, people say to go.

If we go, that will set us back from getting a house about 6 months and set us back buying a car 8-9 months.

How would 1000 set you back from getting a house 6 months? Are you putting 100/mo aside for car and a house? This whole thing just makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

How would 1000 set you back from getting a house 6 months? Are you putting 100/mo aside for car and a house? This whole thing just makes no sense.




I think there’s really a different reason the OP is hedging. The money is just an excuse, otherwise she would’ve said no right away. She’d drop the money with no hesitation if it was just a vacation for herself and her DH.

I don’t know OP’s family or their issues, but since she asked what I’d do — I’d go. Love the OBX!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How would 1000 set you back from getting a house 6 months? Are you putting 100/mo aside for car and a house? This whole thing just makes no sense.

I think there’s really a different reason the OP is hedging. The money is just an excuse, otherwise she would’ve said no right away. She’d drop the money with no hesitation if it was just a vacation for herself and her DH.

I don’t know OP’s family or their issues, but since she asked what I’d do — I’d go. Love the OBX!

Agree. Op's numbers don't make sense at all. If you don't want to go, just tell them it's not going to work for you this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is both. We cannot afford it (and we don’t live lavishly so it’s not they’ll be like “oh they can’t do OBX but look at their new Lexus!”) AND we do not want to do a beach vacation with two small babies, essentially.

We will say both: we cannot afford it, and our children are not at the right age for a beach trip.

My parents will say they’ll pay for it and help us, though.

Then you say, "thanks, we appreciate it but its just really not the right year for us to do this. I'm sorry." Repeat as necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How would 1000 set you back from getting a house 6 months? Are you putting 100/mo aside for car and a house? This whole thing just makes no sense.

I think there’s really a different reason the OP is hedging. The money is just an excuse, otherwise she would’ve said no right away. She’d drop the money with no hesitation if it was just a vacation for herself and her DH.

I don’t know OP’s family or their issues, but since she asked what I’d do — I’d go. Love the OBX!

Agree. Op's numbers don't make sense at all. If you don't want to go, just tell them it's not going to work for you this year.

Guys please, I’m not going to break down our finances for you. Im typing quickly, and thinking quickly. This is an anonymous forum, not a meeting with a financial advisor.

We cannot afford this trip.

The comments about going on another trip was in response to a post on page 1 (?) where PP said she went to Japan even though they couldn’t afford it.