go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?

[Anonymous]

We have never vacationed with our extended family (we didn't even vacation much when we were little), This year my parents asked if we could get a house in the Outer Banks.
brother (single)
my parents
my sister, husband, two kids (6 and 4)
us: me, husband, two kids, 2 and 9 months

We could go into debt over this. We are saving for a house and new car. We are paying back a massive loan from a recent move. Money is tight and we simply cannot afford this trip.

But if we cancel, the whole trip will likely be off and I don't want to take the blame for that.

WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go into debt. Surely your parents know your finances? Maybe they were going to pay for the house? What if it's a 3 day trip instead of a week trip?

[Anonymous]

Do not go into debt so that others can have a vacation. They can plan a cheaper vacation.

Again, do not go into debt.

[Anonymous]

Maybe plan ahead for next summer? I know that seems really far away but it's probably what I would do.

I just worry that you would end up getting angry of any disparity of $ splitting that always seems to occur. Such as one of the relatives didn't chip in for the groceries. Not worth the worry and the anger.

Plus your kids will be older a year from this summer and have more fun.

I have always found it's easier to say no if offering a substitute, such as - could we plan ahead to the summer after next?

[Anonymous]

How much money is your family saying this will cost? Before saying no, get a breakdown of the costs and let them know you are on a tight budget. Then make your decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go into debt. Surely your parents know your finances? Maybe they were going to pay for the house? What if it's a 3 day trip instead of a week trip?

OBX houses are for a week.

It will cost us around $700 for the house, plus food and gas, so $1000.

And let's be real, we don't really want to go. A week away with two babies? All of us sharing one room? Blah.

So...would you go into debt over a vacation you don't want to go on, or would you go for the greater good of your family?

[Anonymous]

This seems like it should be a pretty cheap trip to me, no? Like under $200 a night per family (probably a lot under)

[Anonymous]

We have made potentially unwise decisions in spending an ungodly amount of money for expensive trips, but only because we wanted to go on those trips very badly indeed, and had carefully assessed the financial risks. For us it was worth it. We went to Japan for two weeks to visit the kids' great-grandmother and visit their country of origin. Everything was terribly expensive there. The children loved it all.

I would never even consider what your parents are suggesting. Not worth going into debt for something as boring and meaningless as a beach house rental on the Outer Banks.

[Anonymous]

Say no. If you want an excuse that isn't financial, tell them that your kids are too young for that sort of vacation. It is true that the beach is torture with an infant, so they should understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it should be a pretty cheap trip to me, no? Like under $200 a night per family (probably a lot under)

And yet, the OP says that they can't afford it, so it doesn't really matter how cheap it seems to you.

OP, if the trip was important to you, I would say that you could figure out a way to make it happen and pay it off while still meeting your other obligations. Since it doesn't seem like it's very important to you, I would just tell your family that you can't make it happen this year and ask to plan something for next summer instead. Your older child will be a better age for the beach at that time, which should help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it should be a pretty cheap trip to me, no? Like under $200 a night per family (probably a lot under)

OP here and I do agree. Nigh twise, it is not bad. Overall I suspect it will cost $1000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We have made potentially unwise decisions in spending an ungodly amount of money for expensive trips, but only because we wanted to go on those trips very badly indeed, and had carefully assessed the financial risks. For us it was worth it. We went to Japan for two weeks to visit the kids' great-grandmother and visit their country of origin. Everything was terribly expensive there. The children loved it all.

I would never even consider what your parents are suggesting. Not worth going into debt for something as boring and meaningless as a beach house rental on the Outer Banks.

Thanks PP. I would TOTALLY go into debt for a trip to Europe/Japan...even a weekend trip to Bermuda if my husband suggests it. But I am very nervous to go into debt over a vacation that we will very likely hate.

We have two small children who are poor sleepers (we've tried, TRUST ME ON THIS) and still nap.

[Anonymous]

One time I planned a vacation and then a massive unplanned expense came up that would otherwise have canceled the trip, but nothing was refundable.

It was MISERABLE. We spent the whole trip stressed about money and regretting ever having planned the trip.

This does not sound fun. Express your very sincere hope the trip will not be cancelled on your account, but that the timing is just very unfortunate and you simply do not have the money right now.

[Anonymous]

Say no outright. Or say "We can only stay 3 nights" (and blame it on work) if you want to appear accommodating.

[Anonymous]

Omg this is the most obvious no ever.