go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, is there any use suggesting to Op any alternatives - like start a beach find savings NOW (as in You and dh put aside, for example, $20/week you'd spend on Starbucks, eating lunch, happy hour, etc).

Or tell your family to reserve the beach house during off peak - like the last week of August when rates are reduced.

Or go to a closer/cheaper beach than on.

But op has already made up her mind that she simply doesn't want to vacay with her family and, if she is going to spend money, than it would be a trip with just her and dh to cozumel, right?!

She could offer to let her mother take the kids to the Outer Banks while she and her DH fly to Cozumel. Win/Win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no. never.

Why is this even a question ?

People in general need to quit living like they are uber wealthy because they see others live that way. It's stupid.

In this case, it doesn't really seem to be about the money. OP confessed she would gladly go into debt for a trip with just her and DH. She doesn't want to travel with her kids or spend time with her family.

So the title of your post is misleading. You left out a lot of details until the post got to pages 2, 3, and 4. Thanks for stringing us along

Well, that's the same thing OP is doing to her family, so it's not personal.

Oh please. No one asked you to read all the pages. I got into more details as I wanted to (a vent, as it is.)

But the basic question still remains the same: would you go on a vacation that you cannot afford just because it’s family?

Since you ask, I would never put myself in a position with two kids and not being able to afford $1500. That's not a lot of money to me for a week-long vacation. In fact, it seems dirt cheap.

In any case, the opportunity for your parents to spend time with all of their grandkids is probably rare, and for that reason, yes I would go.

We are saving up for a house and second car.

Do most families have money to save for a house, car, monthly spendings, and still enough to go on a vacation?

[Anonymous]

You messed up,when you played along and suggested homes. Wth? It is one thing to not say no to a general idea that seems like it will pass. By why go to the extreme of suggesting homes to rent?

First, you woukd not be going into debt if you are saving. You woukd not be saving as much (it would be stupid to go into debt with money sitting in a low earning saving account for a future purchase).

Second, if you are going to back out, do it now. Say you reconsidered and you really want to put more money towards your house savings. And say especially because the kids are such horrible sleepers and you will all be miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, is there any use suggesting to Op any alternatives - like start a beach find savings NOW (as in You and dh put aside, for example, $20/week you'd spend on Starbucks, eating lunch, happy hour, etc).

Or tell your family to reserve the beach house during off peak - like the last week of August when rates are reduced.

Or go to a closer/cheaper beach than on.

But op has already made up her mind that she simply doesn't want to vacay with her family and, if she is going to spend money, than it would be a trip with just her and dh to cozumel, right?!

I would say, no. I wouldn't waste my time giving OP this kind of rational advice. She doesn't want to go out of her way to spend time with her family (and then complains that she hasn't spent much time with them in the past).

Please. Would more people choose a vacation with their extended family (with whom they have a strained relationship?), or a vacation with their spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You messed up,when you played along and suggested homes. Wth? It is one thing to not say no to a general idea that seems like it will pass. By why go to the extreme of suggesting homes to rent?

First, you woukd not be going into debt if you are saving. You woukd not be saving as much (it would be stupid to go into debt with money sitting in a low earning saving account for a future purchase).

Second, if you are going to back out, do it now. Say you reconsidered and you really want to put more money towards your house savings. And say especially because the kids are such horrible sleepers and you will all be miserable.

I have been talking to my sister all along. She keeps saying “do you really think this will happen? Mom and Dad can’t even stay a weekend when they come. And dad hates the sun. Will this really happen?”

We are both kind of waiting for this to crumble.

[Anonymous]

I would go into debt, but only when my kids were old enough to remember th vacation. One is 2 years and the other is 9 months? No.

[Anonymous]

I would not go into debt for a vacation! Tell your parents why - honesty is the best policy.

[Anonymous]

OP, you noted that this is the first time ever that your family has proposed one of these extended-family, "let's all share the one huge house" vacations.

Look at vacation threads on DCUM and you'll see how many families do this year after year after year and there are all these expectations that everyone MUST come; people get offended if they're asked to spend too much; people get offended if they're not invited soon enough, or invited too early, or if they're expected to come Every. Single. Year. Some people complain about their siblings who, gasp!, don't want to come this one year and now they've destroyed all trust and love for not coming like they have always done....

And so on.

Just don't let this whole extended-family vacation thing get started. If you do it once, that could be fine -- but will your parents and/or siblings then start saying, "Let's make it an annual thing!" and get mad or offended if you simply want to spend your time other ways and/or not with them?

Yeah, I know, harsh, and this is only ONE vacation. But seriously, look at other threads about these vacations with family groups in big beach houses or whatever. It never seems to end well. Don't let it become an expectation.

And never go into debt for a totally optional thing like a vacation that you do not think is worth the debt. Just point out the many expenses you've had this year and say no thanks, but you guys all go and have a good time. If someone in the family pressures you by saying they'll pay your way or pay part of the costs so you can come -- do NOT let that get started either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it should be a pretty cheap trip to me, no? Like under $200 a night per family (probably a lot under)

Plenty of people don't have $1500 to spare for a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You messed up,when you played along and suggested homes. Wth? It is one thing to not say no to a general idea that seems like it will pass. By why go to the extreme of suggesting homes to rent?

First, you woukd not be going into debt if you are saving. You woukd not be saving as much (it would be stupid to go into debt with money sitting in a low earning saving account for a future purchase).

Second, if you are going to back out, do it now. Say you reconsidered and you really want to put more money towards your house savings. And say especially because the kids are such horrible sleepers and you will all be miserable.

I have been talking to my sister all along. She keeps saying “do you really think this will happen? Mom and Dad can’t even stay a weekend when they come. And dad hates the sun. Will this really happen?”

We are both kind of waiting for this to crumble.

This sounds like more about your issues with your family than money. Seek therapy.

Also, it's not considered "going into debt" if you are instead saving the money.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go into debt for any trip. Sounds like you cannot afford a new house or car either. Wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You messed up,when you played along and suggested homes. Wth? It is one thing to not say no to a general idea that seems like it will pass. By why go to the extreme of suggesting homes to rent?

First, you woukd not be going into debt if you are saving. You woukd not be saving as much (it would be stupid to go into debt with money sitting in a low earning saving account for a future purchase).

Second, if you are going to back out, do it now. Say you reconsidered and you really want to put more money towards your house savings. And say especially because the kids are such horrible sleepers and you will all be miserable.

I have been talking to my sister all along. She keeps saying “do you really think this will happen? Mom and Dad can’t even stay a weekend when they come. And dad hates the sun. Will this really happen?”

We are both kind of waiting for this to crumble.

This sounds like more about your issues with your family than money. Seek therapy.

Also, it's not considered "going into debt" if you are instead saving the money.

I am in therapy for family issues. LOL.

And yeah, I totally worded it wrong (maybe I didnt have my coffee yet?) It's more: Should we spend our savings on this vacation? Not, should we go into debt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You messed up,when you played along and suggested homes. Wth? It is one thing to not say no to a general idea that seems like it will pass. By why go to the extreme of suggesting homes to rent?

First, you woukd not be going into debt if you are saving. You woukd not be saving as much (it would be stupid to go into debt with money sitting in a low earning saving account for a future purchase).

Second, if you are going to back out, do it now. Say you reconsidered and you really want to put more money towards your house savings. And say especially because the kids are such horrible sleepers and you will all be miserable.

I have been talking to my sister all along. She keeps saying “do you really think this will happen? Mom and Dad can’t even stay a weekend when they come. And dad hates the sun. Will this really happen?”

We are both kind of waiting for this to crumble.

This sounds like more about your issues with your family than money. Seek therapy.

Also, it's not considered "going into debt" if you are instead saving the money.

I am in therapy for family issues. LOL.

And yeah, I totally worded it wrong (maybe I didnt have my coffee yet?) It's more: Should we spend our savings on this vacation? Not, should we go into debt?

Dip into savings? yes. Go into debt, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You messed up,when you played along and suggested homes. Wth? It is one thing to not say no to a general idea that seems like it will pass. By why go to the extreme of suggesting homes to rent?

First, you woukd not be going into debt if you are saving. You woukd not be saving as much (it would be stupid to go into debt with money sitting in a low earning saving account for a future purchase).

Second, if you are going to back out, do it now. Say you reconsidered and you really want to put more money towards your house savings. And say especially because the kids are such horrible sleepers and you will all be miserable.

I have been talking to my sister all along. She keeps saying “do you really think this will happen? Mom and Dad can’t even stay a weekend when they come. And dad hates the sun. Will this really happen?”

We are both kind of waiting for this to crumble.

This sounds like more about your issues with your family than money. Seek therapy.

Also, it's not considered "going into debt" if you are instead saving the money.

I am in therapy for family issues. LOL.

And yeah, I totally worded it wrong (maybe I didnt have my coffee yet?) It's more: Should we spend our savings on this vacation? Not, should we go into debt?

Dip into savings? yes. Go into debt, no.

Not dip. Spend our savings. (Not emergency fund, but house and car savings.)

[Anonymous]

No way. Tell them at this time vacations are not an option for you financially. They might be in a few years but not anytime soon.