Disagreement with DH about breast lift

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 and getting Botox and fillers somewhat regularly. When time comes I will be happy to intervene with more invasive procedures. I am lucky to not need boob job, nose job or tummy tuck (maybe after baby number 3???) I feel better (I look really good from what friends and family say), my husband is really happy and proud and my kids are proud to have such a pretty mom. Win-win for everyone!

Also, I come from a family where looking good is important (men and women) so I value it a lot.

This is kind of sad..no not kind of.. it is sad.

I am the PP you are responding to. Why is it sad? I am telling OP that she should do whatever she wants if it will make her happier and more comfortable with her body. Who wouldn’t? My family is very happy and successful and we value physical appearance. My SILs all had boob jobs, tummy tucks, nose jobs etc. Plastic surgery is not WHO they are. They are moms, wives, business owners, and in my case a successful career woman with a PhD. I obviously value education, work ethic, etc more than exterior looks, but why, given that we have the means, should I not improve the way i look? Can my husband be proud because I am smart successful and pretty? Or should he be embarrassed that i care about how I look? Should I? Should OP or her DH?

NP: Because eventually your looks will fade and you will be left with nothing. Also, if your SILs all had nose jobs, it's likely that your kids inherited a "bad" nose (gah!). How long until you get them into the surgeon?

You are so mean and bitter. I should be talking the same way about your life and kids, but I won’t because you must already be so unhappy in order to take out your meanness and bitterness in life into other people in this forum. I will be left with lots of happiness from a life lived to the fullest in every aspects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 and getting Botox and fillers somewhat regularly. When time comes I will be happy to intervene with more invasive procedures. I am lucky to not need boob job, nose job or tummy tuck (maybe after baby number 3???) I feel better (I look really good from what friends and family say), my husband is really happy and proud and my kids are proud to have such a pretty mom. Win-win for everyone!

Also, I come from a family where looking good is important (men and women) so I value it a lot.

This is kind of sad..no not kind of.. it is sad.

I am the PP you are responding to. Why is it sad? I am telling OP that she should do whatever she wants if it will make her happier and more comfortable with her body. Who wouldn’t? My family is very happy and successful and we value physical appearance. My SILs all had boob jobs, tummy tucks, nose jobs etc. Plastic surgery is not WHO they are. They are moms, wives, business owners, and in my case a successful career woman with a PhD. I obviously value education, work ethic, etc more than exterior looks, but why, given that we have the means, should I not improve the way i look? Can my husband be proud because I am smart successful and pretty? Or should he be embarrassed that i care about how I look? Should I? Should OP or her DH?

NP: Because eventually your looks will fade and you will be left with nothing. Also, if your SILs all had nose jobs, it's likely that your kids inherited a "bad" nose (gah!). How long until you get them into the surgeon?

You are so mean and bitter. I should be talking the same way about your life and kids, but I won’t because you must already be so unhappy in order to take out your meanness and bitterness in life into other people in this forum. I will be left with lots of happiness from a life lived to the fullest in every aspects.

If you put it out there, what do you expect, really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 and getting Botox and fillers somewhat regularly. When time comes I will be happy to intervene with more invasive procedures. I am lucky to not need boob job, nose job or tummy tuck (maybe after baby number 3???) I feel better (I look really good from what friends and family say), my husband is really happy and proud and my kids are proud to have such a pretty mom. Win-win for everyone!

Also, I come from a family where looking good is important (men and women) so I value it a lot.

This is kind of sad..no not kind of.. it is sad.

I am the PP you are responding to. Why is it sad? I am telling OP that she should do whatever she wants if it will make her happier and more comfortable with her body. Who wouldn’t? My family is very happy and successful and we value physical appearance. My SILs all had boob jobs, tummy tucks, nose jobs etc. Plastic surgery is not WHO they are. They are moms, wives, business owners, and in my case a successful career woman with a PhD. I obviously value education, work ethic, etc more than exterior looks, but why, given that we have the means, should I not improve the way i look? Can my husband be proud because I am smart successful and pretty? Or should he be embarrassed that i care about how I look? Should I? Should OP or her DH?

NP: Because eventually your looks will fade and you will be left with nothing. Also, if your SILs all had nose jobs, it's likely that your kids inherited a "bad" nose (gah!). How long until you get them into the surgeon?

You are so mean and bitter. I should be talking the same way about your life and kids, but I won’t because you must already be so unhappy in order to take out your meanness and bitterness in life into other people in this forum. I will be left with lots of happiness from a life lived to the fullest in every aspects.

If you put it out there, what do you expect, really?

You are right! I should know the demographics of this forum: older, bitter, unhappy and judgemental martyrs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 and getting Botox and fillers somewhat regularly. When time comes I will be happy to intervene with more invasive procedures. I am lucky to not need boob job, nose job or tummy tuck (maybe after baby number 3???) I feel better (I look really good from what friends and family say), my husband is really happy and proud and my kids are proud to have such a pretty mom. Win-win for everyone!

Also, I come from a family where looking good is important (men and women) so I value it a lot.

This is kind of sad..no not kind of.. it is sad.

I am the PP you are responding to. Why is it sad? I am telling OP that she should do whatever she wants if it will make her happier and more comfortable with her body. Who wouldn’t? My family is very happy and successful and we value physical appearance. My SILs all had boob jobs, tummy tucks, nose jobs etc. Plastic surgery is not WHO they are. They are moms, wives, business owners, and in my case a successful career woman with a PhD. I obviously value education, work ethic, etc more than exterior looks, but why, given that we have the means, should I not improve the way i look? Can my husband be proud because I am smart successful and pretty? Or should he be embarrassed that i care about how I look? Should I? Should OP or her DH?

NP: Because eventually your looks will fade and you will be left with nothing. Also, if your SILs all had nose jobs, it's likely that your kids inherited a "bad" nose (gah!). How long until you get them into the surgeon?

You are so mean and bitter. I should be talking the same way about your life and kids, but I won’t because you must already be so unhappy in order to take out your meanness and bitterness in life into other people in this forum. I will be left with lots of happiness from a life lived to the fullest in every aspects.

What's so mean. Just stating the facts that eventually no amount of surgery will make you pretty. You and your family seem to be chasing attractiveness with surgery...but I'm sure you already knew that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 and getting Botox and fillers somewhat regularly. When time comes I will be happy to intervene with more invasive procedures. I am lucky to not need boob job, nose job or tummy tuck (maybe after baby number 3???) I feel better (I look really good from what friends and family say), my husband is really happy and proud and my kids are proud to have such a pretty mom. Win-win for everyone!

Also, I come from a family where looking good is important (men and women) so I value it a lot.

This is kind of sad..no not kind of.. it is sad.

I am the PP you are responding to. Why is it sad? I am telling OP that she should do whatever she wants if it will make her happier and more comfortable with her body. Who wouldn’t? My family is very happy and successful and we value physical appearance. My SILs all had boob jobs, tummy tucks, nose jobs etc. Plastic surgery is not WHO they are. They are moms, wives, business owners, and in my case a successful career woman with a PhD. I obviously value education, work ethic, etc more than exterior looks, but why, given that we have the means, should I not improve the way i look? Can my husband be proud because I am smart successful and pretty? Or should he be embarrassed that i care about how I look? Should I? Should OP or her DH?

NP: Because eventually your looks will fade and you will be left with nothing. Also, if your SILs all had nose jobs, it's likely that your kids inherited a "bad" nose (gah!). How long until you get them into the surgeon?

What? You set a new standard for meanness and stupidity in everything I read on DCUM.

PP, ignore her. There is on DCUM a very weird bias against beautification. I don't know what it is. It's like the second you express a tiny bit of interest in improving your appearance, you morph into a vapid creature with no other achievements. It's like..a matter of pride to never do anything to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 and getting Botox and fillers somewhat regularly. When time comes I will be happy to intervene with more invasive procedures. I am lucky to not need boob job, nose job or tummy tuck (maybe after baby number 3???) I feel better (I look really good from what friends and family say), my husband is really happy and proud and my kids are proud to have such a pretty mom. Win-win for everyone!

Also, I come from a family where looking good is important (men and women) so I value it a lot.

What would happen if someone had an accident and was horribly scared for life even with surgery? I think we all want to look good, but a family valuing looking good seems superficial, and a therapy waiting to happen.

You act like valuing beauty automatically rules out valuing ANYTHING else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 and getting Botox and fillers somewhat regularly. When time comes I will be happy to intervene with more invasive procedures. I am lucky to not need boob job, nose job or tummy tuck (maybe after baby number 3???) I feel better (I look really good from what friends and family say), my husband is really happy and proud and my kids are proud to have such a pretty mom. Win-win for everyone!

Also, I come from a family where looking good is important (men and women) so I value it a lot.

This is kind of sad..no not kind of.. it is sad.

I am the PP you are responding to. Why is it sad? I am telling OP that she should do whatever she wants if it will make her happier and more comfortable with her body. Who wouldn’t? My family is very happy and successful and we value physical appearance. My SILs all had boob jobs, tummy tucks, nose jobs etc. Plastic surgery is not WHO they are. They are moms, wives, business owners, and in my case a successful career woman with a PhD. I obviously value education, work ethic, etc more than exterior looks, but why, given that we have the means, should I not improve the way i look? Can my husband be proud because I am smart successful and pretty? Or should he be embarrassed that i care about how I look? Should I? Should OP or her DH?

NP: Because eventually your looks will fade and you will be left with nothing. Also, if your SILs all had nose jobs, it's likely that your kids inherited a "bad" nose (gah!). How long until you get them into the surgeon?

You are so mean and bitter. I should be talking the same way about your life and kids, but I won’t because you must already be so unhappy in order to take out your meanness and bitterness in life into other people in this forum. I will be left with lots of happiness from a life lived to the fullest in every aspects.

What's so mean. Just stating the facts that eventually no amount of surgery will make you pretty. You and your family seem to be chasing attractiveness with surgery...but I'm sure you already knew that.

No, surgery can improve. My SILs have no issues with plastic surgery, but they also eat super well and excercuse daily. They had ugly noses and small breasts (I am lucky and did not need surgical help for either), but other than that they are beautiful and look amazing for their ages. I hope to look like them at 43-50. Is beauty the center of my existence or who I am? No! I work, have an education have 2 kids, a great husband, lots of happiness and intimacy all around. If not getting wrinkles for the next few years makes me happier (NOT happy, I already am very happy), then why not? Don’t you use face cream in the hopes that it will improve your complexion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44 years old and want to get a breast lift. I'm very unhappy with my appearance and feel unattractive, and am having trouble enjoying being intimate with DH because of it. DH is very opposed to the idea of my getting this surgery done. He agrees that there's an issue with sagging, but doesn't think its a big deal. He is also very concerned about something going wrong during the surgery - we have two kids and his view is that it would be selfish to undergo elective surgery for cosmetic reasons when there is a chance (albeit small) of something going wrong. He also thinks it would make more sense to use the money for something the family could all enjoy together, like an international vacation.

Am I being really selfish by wanting to do this? I can't imagine living the next 20 plus years feeling this unattractive, and I don't think I am going to be able to just move past this feeling on my own without having this done.

OP, I think the only question here is whether your budget can support it. If yes, go for it.

As for DH, I don't think he gets an opinion on what you want to do with your body any more than he gets to rule out a haircut or a dye job. It's nice to have an opinion but your body is yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 and getting Botox and fillers somewhat regularly. When time comes I will be happy to intervene with more invasive procedures. I am lucky to not need boob job, nose job or tummy tuck (maybe after baby number 3???) I feel better (I look really good from what friends and family say), my husband is really happy and proud and my kids are proud to have such a pretty mom. Win-win for everyone!

Also, I come from a family where looking good is important (men and women) so I value it a lot.

What would happen if someone had an accident and was horribly scared for life even with surgery? I think we all want to look good, but a family valuing looking good seems superficial, and a therapy waiting to happen.

You act like valuing beauty automatically rules out valuing ANYTHING else.

In all seriousness, if you met a person in real life who told you her family "values looks a lot" you would definitely think WTF. That's a crazy thing to tout as a family value, even aside from the lack of social awareness that would lead you to admit to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 and getting Botox and fillers somewhat regularly. When time comes I will be happy to intervene with more invasive procedures. I am lucky to not need boob job, nose job or tummy tuck (maybe after baby number 3???) I feel better (I look really good from what friends and family say), my husband is really happy and proud and my kids are proud to have such a pretty mom. Win-win for everyone!

Also, I come from a family where looking good is important (men and women) so I value it a lot.

This is kind of sad..no not kind of.. it is sad.

I am the PP you are responding to. Why is it sad? I am telling OP that she should do whatever she wants if it will make her happier and more comfortable with her body. Who wouldn’t? My family is very happy and successful and we value physical appearance. My SILs all had boob jobs, tummy tucks, nose jobs etc. Plastic surgery is not WHO they are. They are moms, wives, business owners, and in my case a successful career woman with a PhD. I obviously value education, work ethic, etc more than exterior looks, but why, given that we have the means, should I not improve the way i look? Can my husband be proud because I am smart successful and pretty? Or should he be embarrassed that i care about how I look? Should I? Should OP or her DH?

NP: Because eventually your looks will fade and you will be left with nothing. Also, if your SILs all had nose jobs, it's likely that your kids inherited a "bad" nose (gah!). How long until you get them into the surgeon?

You are so mean and bitter. I should be talking the same way about your life and kids, but I won’t because you must already be so unhappy in order to take out your meanness and bitterness in life into other people in this forum. I will be left with lots of happiness from a life lived to the fullest in every aspects.

What's so mean. Just stating the facts that eventually no amount of surgery will make you pretty. You and your family seem to be chasing attractiveness with surgery...but I'm sure you already knew that.

She has a good twenty years before that "eventually" sets in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 and getting Botox and fillers somewhat regularly. When time comes I will be happy to intervene with more invasive procedures. I am lucky to not need boob job, nose job or tummy tuck (maybe after baby number 3???) I feel better (I look really good from what friends and family say), my husband is really happy and proud and my kids are proud to have such a pretty mom. Win-win for everyone!

Also, I come from a family where looking good is important (men and women) so I value it a lot.

What would happen if someone had an accident and was horribly scared for life even with surgery? I think we all want to look good, but a family valuing looking good seems superficial, and a therapy waiting to happen.

You act like valuing beauty automatically rules out valuing ANYTHING else.

In all seriousness, if you met a person in real life who told you her family "values looks a lot" you would definitely think WTF. That's a crazy thing to tout as a family value, even aside from the lack of social awareness that would lead you to admit to it.

Actually, I wouldn't. I don't see beauty and its pursuit as incompatible with other, "higher" callings. Maybe it's cultural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it! Happy wife, happy mom> international vacation.

Get a boob job since you are already doing the whole procedure. I am sure DH would LOVE that!
You will feel better about yourself and will try to improve further all aspect of your life.

Another idea: take a family vacation to Brazil and do it there where it’s much cheaper and doctors are much better. Not sure what you would need to do about recovery time, but plenty of people travel to California for plastic surgery so I guess Brazil would be the same.

It may be cheaper in Brazil but I have never heard that the doctors were “much better”.
This is terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it! Happy wife, happy mom> international vacation.

Get a boob job since you are already doing the whole procedure. I am sure DH would LOVE that!
You will feel better about yourself and will try to improve further all aspect of your life.

Another idea: take a family vacation to Brazil and do it there where it’s much cheaper and doctors are much better. Not sure what you would need to do about recovery time, but plenty of people travel to California for plastic surgery so I guess Brazil would be the same.

It may be cheaper in Brazil but I have never heard that the doctors were “much better”.
This is terrible advice.

Actually a FS friend of mine had her boobs done in Mexico and was very happy with the result.

[Anonymous]

Her body, her choice. Not really buying the concerned about her well-being argument, there are many things we all do day to day that are much more dangerous statistically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it! Happy wife, happy mom> international vacation.

Get a boob job since you are already doing the whole procedure. I am sure DH would LOVE that!
You will feel better about yourself and will try to improve further all aspect of your life.

Another idea: take a family vacation to Brazil and do it there where it’s much cheaper and doctors are much better. Not sure what you would need to do about recovery time, but plenty of people travel to California for plastic surgery so I guess Brazil would be the same.

It may be cheaper in Brazil but I have never heard that the doctors were “much better”.
This is terrible advice.

Brazil is the kingdom of plastic surgery. More plastic surgeries done than than in the US probably (and much poorer population on average). The best plastic surgeon often train in Brazil. You are misinformed