What do your kids call their friends parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mr./Ms. First name or Larla's mom/dad

Same with us

[Anonymous]

So many call me by my first name only and I strongly dislike it. That would have been seen as rude when I was a kid. I'd prefer Ms FirstName. I introduce myself that way, but generally don't correct a kid who just calls me FirstName.

Should I say, " that's Ms. FirstName to you"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many call me by my first name only and I strongly dislike it. That would have been seen as rude when I was a kid. I'd prefer Ms FirstName. I introduce myself that way, but generally don't correct a kid who just calls me FirstName.

Should I say, " that's Ms. FirstName to you"?

I think the polite thing to do is to tell the Chile (or anyone) what you wished to be called. I prefer first names but absolutely want to respect the wishes of others (although I sometimes default to reminding my kid to day miss first name because I have more trouble remembering last names).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For many of us, it's a cultural issue. I'm Korean, and we would never call a grownup (or a teacher, boss, anyone of a superior status, someone you don't know very well) by their first name. There are people whom I've known for decades, including close friends of my parents, whose first names I don't know because I call them by the honorific.

Not saying this way is better or worse, but in most Asian cultures, it would be considered extremely rude for a child to call a grownup by their first name.

I think it’s a white culture thing to call adults by their first name... I’ve had friends of all cultures and only my white friends called adults by their first name... I’ve also worked at 2 area universities 1 Historically Black College and Univeristy (HBCU) and one non HBCU... The black students at the HBCU called professsors and administrators by their title while some of the white students had to be corrected and told to do so.... at the non HBCU white students called professors by their first name while black students would address them by title....

And I believe one way is better than the other.... we are not peers so you do not address me as such!

I grew up in rural New England in the 70s and almost all adults (aside from teachers when at school and doctors when at the office) by first names. My parents elderly friends all insisted on first names. It was definitely specific white subculture thing of people (lots of Quakers) who prided themselves on being very egalitarian and wanted to downplay social hierarchies. It was a big transition to live and work in Black communities. I strongly believe in calling people what they want to be called. As a professor I prefer to be called by my first name, am fine with Dr or Professor, but dislike Ms or Miss Last Name (I have the "you may call me..." talk with my students at the beginning of each semester.

Me too, except it was the 80s. I teach my kids to call everyone what they want to be called, and I model that myself-- I address my elderly AA neighbors as Mr. and Ms. because I know that my children will imitate what I say, and I swiftly correct my children if they call someone differently than what that person prefers.

I do find it off-putting and provincial when white don't realize that their cultural norm is just one culture among many and people are not less polite for being from a different culture. I do think it's about a love of hierarchy and I think that's a bad thing. In many circles in New England, a white person insisting on an honorfic would seem really fussy, controlling, and pretentious. It would be tolerated, because the rule is to call people what they want to be called and allowances are made for different cultures, but it's not our social norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many call me by my first name only and I strongly dislike it. That would have been seen as rude when I was a kid. I'd prefer Ms FirstName. I introduce myself that way, but generally don't correct a kid who just calls me FirstName.

Should I say, " that's Ms. FirstName to you"?

I think the polite thing to do is to tell the Chile (or anyone) what you wished to be called. I prefer first names but absolutely want to respect the wishes of others (although I sometimes default to reminding my kid to day miss first name because I have more trouble remembering last names).

That was supposed to be child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many call me by my first name only and I strongly dislike it. That would have been seen as rude when I was a kid. I'd prefer Ms FirstName. I introduce myself that way, but generally don't correct a kid who just calls me FirstName.

Should I say, " that's Ms. FirstName to you"?

No, that's rude. You can say, warmly, maybe crouching to their eye level, "You can call me Ms. Firstname." Kids often need several reminders of people's names, and there are many adults who do ask to be addressed as Firstname, so we can't expect the kids to get it right every time for every person.

[Anonymous]

Mr and miss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ms. Firstname, Mr. Firstname

+1. Kids are 3 and 6.

[Anonymous]

They call me "Ms. C" because realistically "Ms. Czyzewski" isn't gonna happen. My first name isn't much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ms. Firstname, Mr. Firstname

+1. Kids are 3 and 6.

+2 Kid is 9.

[Anonymous]

I always ask, and the answer is almost always first name. The only exception is a friend of mine who is a substitute teacher at the kids’ school, so she is Ms. A inside and outside of school.

[Anonymous]

My husband didn't even call my parents by their first name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many call me by my first name only and I strongly dislike it. That would have been seen as rude when I was a kid. I'd prefer Ms FirstName. I introduce myself that way, but generally don't correct a kid who just calls me FirstName.

Should I say, " that's Ms. FirstName to you"?

I think the polite thing to do is to tell the Chile (or anyone) what you wished to be called. I prefer first names but absolutely want to respect the wishes of others (although I sometimes default to reminding my kid to day miss first name because I have more trouble remembering last names).

I agree, and it’s a good example for kids to show that it’s okay to ask somebody to respect preferences, and it’s an opportunity for them to know that it’s not a big deal to be corrected.

[Anonymous]

Do you really expect kids to remember which adult wants to be called what?? That’s a lot! We default to the formal Ms./Mr Last Name for anyone that is not a family member (aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc). Ms./Mr. Lastnane is used in schools in our experience, and seems to be the least likely to offend outside of school. So that’s what we instruct…

I’d rather my kids err on the side of more formal than less formal.

[Anonymous]

Ms first name, Mr first name. Unless the parent specifically asks to be called something different.