What do your kids call their friends parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are preschoolers so we haven't had to deal with this yet, but now you've got me thinking.

I think I'd probably ask them, "what should Larlo call you?" and I'd encourage my kids to ask the same question. What does everyone think about that?

Personally, I'd be happy if other kids called me my first name. I don't want them to call me Mrs. Larlos-last-name because I never use that - I didn't change my name when I got married and I have a PhD anyway (which our kids' friends would probably never know) so if we're really being formal then my title is Dr, which I find pretentious. And Mr. Larlos-last-name won't work for my husband since the kids have my last name and not his.

I'd be okay with my kids calling them Mr or Mrs whatever, if that's what they asked to be called, but honestly I probably wouldn't be encouraging those friendships because I'd think they're a bunch of snobs. Kids calling them by their first name when they haven't been invited to do so is rude though, I agree.

And btw for the "social class", "unclutured" (sic) PP above, we've traveled extensively, lived on multiple continents, my kids have several citizenships, and we both have graduate degrees from good schools in challenging fields.

That's not the social class she's talking about. As someone who grew up in Middleburg where the highest social class meant being invited to dinner at Mrs. Mellon' s Oak Spring "home" you would not call her, not any of her guests Mrs Rachel.

This is hilarious. As someone who grew up extremely “high class” and called most adults by their first names (after they told me to), I knew Mrs. Mellon and knew her as Bunny. Calling someone by their honorific and last name isn’t classy, it’s what you do with people you don’t know very well. Mrs/Ms Firstname is either Southern or preschool teacher and not something my kids or I have ever said, with the exception of ballet and gymnastics teachers who seem to call themselves by that title.

You definitely did not know Mrs. Mellon. No chance on this earth. No children called her Bunny. Not a single one.

I did, knew her since I was born. I may have called her Mrs. Mellon when I was 4 but only remember knowing her as Bunny. Of course my grandmother was one of her closest friends so I didn’t merely “know” her. I used to play dress up from her closet when we visited. She was lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is with all of you guys wanting to be called Mrs/Ms/Miss Lastname??
What are we in the 1930s? Do you feel a sense of superiority by this?
I am all for respect but i don't think calling someone by their firstname is a sign of disrespect in social situation.
I don't call my Dr. friend "Dr Jacobs" when we hang out, or her husband "Dr Stewart". I use their firstnames, why the heck can't kids?

I don't call kids Miss Larla or Mr Larlo when talking to them, why should they do that for me? Respect is a lot more than a title i hate to tell you.

+1 In my social circle kids call everyone except their teachers by their first names.

[Anonymous]

I strongly prefer mr. First name and ms. first name. I cringe when kids address me by just my first name without the ms/miss/mrs. We would have gotten in huge trouble calling adults by first name when I was a kid. Everyone was mrs. Last name, but that's hard now that so many parents, including myself, don't have the same exact last name as their kids.

I feel it's better to ask out at least err on the side of formality and let people request otherwise. I feel awkward requesting kids to be more formal, seems like out would be easier to request them to be more familiar.

[Anonymous]

With my kids I have them use the southern construct of Miss/Mr first name, in many cases because last names are now really all over the place, and just because you know your classmate’s last name doesn’t mean you have any idea about the parents’ names.

However, I do expect younger children to use some kind of honorific when talking to me (an adult) but don’t get massively bent out of shape if they don’t. I think it’s polite and teaches personal boundaries, However, I also try to understand what the parents are teaching their children, and I go along with their wishes. So while I generally would prefer Miss first name, if the parents are teaching Ms. Lastname, I go along because I want to support the parents. Drives me batty when people who are trying to teach their kids some basic manners are subverted by someone who just sits there and insists that they can only go by first name only and “Ms. X is my mother and I’m not old”. Get over yourself. It takes a village.

[Anonymous]

I love this - the little preschoolers all walk up and say "Larla's Mom, can Larla come over to play" and it's so sweet, I'm sad for the day when I'll be Mrs. Smith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are preschoolers so we haven't had to deal with this yet, but now you've got me thinking.

I think I'd probably ask them, "what should Larlo call you?" and I'd encourage my kids to ask the same question. What does everyone think about that?

Personally, I'd be happy if other kids called me my first name. I don't want them to call me Mrs. Larlos-last-name because I never use that - I didn't change my name when I got married and I have a PhD anyway (which our kids' friends would probably never know) so if we're really being formal then my title is Dr, which I find pretentious. And Mr. Larlos-last-name won't work for my husband since the kids have my last name and not his.

I'd be okay with my kids calling them Mr or Mrs whatever, if that's what they asked to be called, but honestly I probably wouldn't be encouraging those friendships because I'd think they're a bunch of snobs. Kids calling them by their first name when they haven't been invited to do so is rude though, I agree.

Omigod.

The equivalent is Ms. Smith and Mr. Jones. Why is this so hard for people to understand????

[Anonymous]

For many of us, it's a cultural issue. I'm Korean, and we would never call a grownup (or a teacher, boss, anyone of a superior status, someone you don't know very well) by their first name. There are people whom I've known for decades, including close friends of my parents, whose first names I don't know because I call them by the honorific.

Not saying this way is better or worse, but in most Asian cultures, it would be considered extremely rude for a child to call a grownup by their first name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should tell your kids to address the parents as Mr. or Mrs. Lastname and then the parent can feel free to say "Call me Larla" or whatever if that is their preference.

I don't think it is the decision of the friend's parents. I think it is the decision of each parent, as to how they raise their kids addressing other adults.

You are completely wrong. It is respectful to call people what they want to be called, not what you decide they should be called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For many of us, it's a cultural issue. I'm Korean, and we would never call a grownup (or a teacher, boss, anyone of a superior status, someone you don't know very well) by their first name. There are people whom I've known for decades, including close friends of my parents, whose first names I don't know because I call them by the honorific.

Not saying this way is better or worse, but in most Asian cultures, it would be considered extremely rude for a child to call a grownup by their first name.

Forgot to add that, as a result, my kids call their friends' parents So-and-so's Mommy or So-and-so's Daddy and know that they're not allowed to call a grownup by the first name. I don't like it when their friends call me by my first name but generally don't make a big deal about it.

[Anonymous]

Ms. Firstname, Mr. Firstname

[Anonymous]

Who are you people? Why so formal? Do you call people you just meet Mr and Mrs Lastname or Mr and Mrs Firstname? Why is using someone's first name a sign of disrespect? Why must only kids use these titles? It makes not sense.

[Anonymous]

Do all the Mr/Mrs names also prefer parents call you Mr/Mrs or can we use your first name if we are not great friends and only know each other because of the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For many of us, it's a cultural issue. I'm Korean, and we would never call a grownup (or a teacher, boss, anyone of a superior status, someone you don't know very well) by their first name. There are people whom I've known for decades, including close friends of my parents, whose first names I don't know because I call them by the honorific.

Not saying this way is better or worse, but in most Asian cultures, it would be considered extremely rude for a child to call a grownup by their first name.

I think it’s a white culture thing to call adults by their first name... I’ve had friends of all cultures and only my white friends called adults by their first name... I’ve also worked at 2 area universities 1 Historically Black College and Univeristy (HBCU) and one non HBCU... The black students at the HBCU called professsors and administrators by their title while some of the white students had to be corrected and told to do so.... at the non HBCU white students called professors by their first name while black students would address them by title....

And I believe one way is better than the other.... we are not peers so you do not address me as such!

[Anonymous]

It is different if you are talking to a professor in a formal class than someone's mom or dad in a social situation. Not every interaction is formal.

[Anonymous]

We do Mr or Ms Firstname.