DH wants to set up a personal spending account for me (SAHM)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you have credit card debt, you are overspending. Seriously, how can you get pedicures when you have credit card debt? I would nitpick, too.

Agree on the pedicure but overspending isn't even close to being the #1 reason for credit card debt. Try unexpected trips to the emergency room not covered by insurance or car repairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why it’s an absurd concept to work work work only to pay for someone else’s lifestyle. Your DH will be jumping for joy once you finish that degree.

OP here: Some men are happier in their relationships when their partners do not work and stay at home. My husband is one of them and he wants more children. I'm not so sure what I want right now. He didn't want me to go back to work after our son was born. My salary only just about covers childcare. And giving up work doesn't mean difficulty getting back in later for me. Career breaks are common for preschool teachers. We lived off my salary for a while he was pursuing his Ph.D. Ideally I would like to work PT. I think working part-time will give me ties to the outside world, which is healthy. Without a very good salary or extended family who can help, staying in the workplace after having children is a huge challenge for most parents.

So if you're not planning to go back to work, why are you in grad school? Your story doesn't make sense.

I caught that too and thought it was weird.

If you're real OP, here is my take. Say no the spending account, that is not a good precedent. But say yes to a budget and to jointly setting it and meeting financial goals as a team with your DH. Show him you are an equal partner in your marriage even if you do not work outside the home.

So having a PT job is not working? Maybe try reading the entire post before you make nasty comments.

Are you the OP? If so, maybe read your own title before you make nasty comments. If you're a SAHM, you don't work, even part-time. Your story doesn't add up and you're ridiculous.

I said I want to work part-time. Most of you are not reading everything but whatever. I am leaving. Clearly, most of you are bitter about working and want to lash out at SAHM. I thought feminism was about choices and options.

It is, the problem is your choices include pedicures and fancy classes for your "difficult" 2 year old when you have credit card debt you didn't know you had.

[Anonymous]

music lessons for a 2 year old are a waste of money, all you're basically doing is having someone babysit him for an hour where he bangs on a xylophone and you have some down time. Right now you can't afford it.
DW is SAHM and has a personal account. We have "ours" and "hers" If fact I don't even know if my name is on her account.
Every month I give her cash and put a set amount in her account. This is for donations to the PTO things like that. I don't even know how much she has in the account honestly.
She uses a credit card to pay for groceries, doctor visits, even her pedicures. She gets a manicure every two weeks and a pedicure once when its warm out. I get the bill every month and pay it off. We don't have debt if she wants something over a $1000 we talk it over first, same as if I want something expensive.
It can work, and works well for us, but we have been married for 20 years, its harder starting out but you can make it work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you have credit card debt, you are overspending. Seriously, how can you get pedicures when you have credit card debt? I would nitpick, too.

OP here: You're sound very judgemental. Lots of people have debt. It's going to take a while for us to pay off the debt. My husband just finished grad school.

school debt is different. If you are carryign credit card debt over every month then you are not budgeting or saving or spending appropriately. Furthermore, with grad debt you need to be spending even less. Grow up OP. And please don't start a MLM business to make money either. You sound like another SAHM who wants to believe she is rich when she really needs to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is a great example of two worlds colliding. I’ve lived in Miami (South Beach, downtown and Coral Gables) but have been in DC nearly a decade. Miami is the least educated city in the US, DC the most. Before anyone gets offended look it up. People in South Florida tend to be materialistic, vain, shallow, insincere, defensive, and vapid. I was regularly questioned about how I managed to graduate from college in just four years. Most people I knew took six-eight years. The OP is a person who doesn’t understand DC values. Going around Miami and environs in a Subaru without makeup, a status bag and breast implants is just unheard of. The fact she is making an effort and attending grad school probably means she’s a lot smarter/capable than most people in Miami. I would say cut her a break and let her have her pedicures from time to time. South Florida is a terrible place to live. The poor lady deserves a few comforts.

Seriously. Get the heck out of there, OP. Do it for your son.

You sound like a judgmental peach! Do you have good luck with men?

Pretty much. I have a degree from a top 10 university, my husband just made Big Law partner, great house in upper NW, fluent in three languages, and just found out we are expecting our first child. You are right to call me out on being judgemental because I completely am when it comes to South Florida. I actually understand South Florida, a place that is routinely voted as the rudest place in America, from my experiences living there. It’s truly hideous. And my earlier points have been validated now too. The OP is too ignorant to even lie well. You guys figured out her responses made no sense. When called on her idiocy, she just attacked others. Good thing she teaches pre-school. A kindergartener’s intelligence would be too much for her.

[Anonymous]

Go out and earn you own damn money you freeloader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is a great example of two worlds colliding. I’ve lived in Miami (South Beach, downtown and Coral Gables) but have been in DC nearly a decade. Miami is the least educated city in the US, DC the most. Before anyone gets offended look it up. People in South Florida tend to be materialistic, vain, shallow, insincere, defensive, and vapid. I was regularly questioned about how I managed to graduate from college in just four years. Most people I knew took six-eight years. The OP is a person who doesn’t understand DC values. Going around Miami and environs in a Subaru without makeup, a status bag and breast implants is just unheard of. The fact she is making an effort and attending grad school probably means she’s a lot smarter/capable than most people in Miami. I would say cut her a break and let her have her pedicures from time to time. South Florida is a terrible place to live. The poor lady deserves a few comforts.

Seriously. Get the heck out of there, OP. Do it for your son.

You sound like a judgmental peach! Do you have good luck with men?

Pretty much. I have a degree from a top 10 university, my husband just made Big Law partner, great house in upper NW, fluent in three languages, and just found out we are expecting our first child. You are right to call me out on being judgemental because I completely am when it comes to South Florida. I actually understand South Florida, a place that is routinely voted as the rudest place in America, from my experiences living there. It’s truly hideous. And my earlier points have been validated now too. The OP is too ignorant to even lie well. You guys figured out her responses made no sense. When called on her idiocy, she just attacked others. Good thing she teaches pre-school. A kindergartener’s intelligence would be too much for her.

Are you always like this? Wow. You're completely full of yourself. Must be a DC thing. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is a great example of two worlds colliding. I’ve lived in Miami (South Beach, downtown and Coral Gables) but have been in DC nearly a decade. Miami is the least educated city in the US, DC the most. Before anyone gets offended look it up. People in South Florida tend to be materialistic, vain, shallow, insincere, defensive, and vapid. I was regularly questioned about how I managed to graduate from college in just four years. Most people I knew took six-eight years. The OP is a person who doesn’t understand DC values. Going around Miami and environs in a Subaru without makeup, a status bag and breast implants is just unheard of. The fact she is making an effort and attending grad school probably means she’s a lot smarter/capable than most people in Miami. I would say cut her a break and let her have her pedicures from time to time. South Florida is a terrible place to live. The poor lady deserves a few comforts.

Seriously. Get the heck out of there, OP. Do it for your son.

You sound like a judgmental peach! Do you have good luck with men?

Pretty much. I have a degree from a top 10 university, my husband just made Big Law partner, great house in upper NW, fluent in three languages, and just found out we are expecting our first child. You are right to call me out on being judgemental because I completely am when it comes to South Florida. I actually understand South Florida, a place that is routinely voted as the rudest place in America, from my experiences living there. It’s truly hideous. And my earlier points have been validated now too. The OP is too ignorant to even lie well. You guys figured out her responses made no sense. When called on her idiocy, she just attacked others. Good thing she teaches pre-school. A kindergartener’s intelligence would be too much for her.

Not OP. Sadly, you are really no better with your pathetic bragging on an anonymous forum. You obviously crave validation. Get a life.

[Anonymous]

Haven't read all the responses but honestly OP, you need to accept having your DH curtail your spending. That's the downside to SAH and financially relying on a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read all the responses but honestly OP, you need to accept having your DH curtail your spending. That's the downside to SAH and financially relying on a man.

Uh no, this is the consequence of OP not being frugal and not being aware of their financial situation.

-signed a sahm who manages the finances and is frugal so DH trusts me. And I was the one who always paid off my CC every month, even while in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is a great example of two worlds colliding. I’ve lived in Miami (South Beach, downtown and Coral Gables) but have been in DC nearly a decade. Miami is the least educated city in the US, DC the most. Before anyone gets offended look it up. People in South Florida tend to be materialistic, vain, shallow, insincere, defensive, and vapid. I was regularly questioned about how I managed to graduate from college in just four years. Most people I knew took six-eight years. The OP is a person who doesn’t understand DC values. Going around Miami and environs in a Subaru without makeup, a status bag and breast implants is just unheard of. The fact she is making an effort and attending grad school probably means she’s a lot smarter/capable than most people in Miami. I would say cut her a break and let her have her pedicures from time to time. South Florida is a terrible place to live. The poor lady deserves a few comforts.

Seriously. Get the heck out of there, OP. Do it for your son.

You sound like a judgmental peach! Do you have good luck with men?

Pretty much. I have a degree from a top 10 university, my husband just made Big Law partner, great house in upper NW, fluent in three languages, and just found out we are expecting our first child. You are right to call me out on being judgemental because I completely am when it comes to South Florida. I actually understand South Florida, a place that is routinely voted as the rudest place in America, from my experiences living there. It’s truly hideous. And my earlier points have been validated now too. The OP is too ignorant to even lie well. You guys figured out her responses made no sense. When called on her idiocy, she just attacked others. Good thing she teaches pre-school. A kindergartener’s intelligence would be too much for her.

Are you always like this? Wow. You're completely full of yourself. Must be a DC thing. Gross.

This is a DC forum. Maybe just stay off of it if it’s too “gross” for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is a great example of two worlds colliding. I’ve lived in Miami (South Beach, downtown and Coral Gables) but have been in DC nearly a decade. Miami is the least educated city in the US, DC the most. Before anyone gets offended look it up. People in South Florida tend to be materialistic, vain, shallow, insincere, defensive, and vapid. I was regularly questioned about how I managed to graduate from college in just four years. Most people I knew took six-eight years. The OP is a person who doesn’t understand DC values. Going around Miami and environs in a Subaru without makeup, a status bag and breast implants is just unheard of. The fact she is making an effort and attending grad school probably means she’s a lot smarter/capable than most people in Miami. I would say cut her a break and let her have her pedicures from time to time. South Florida is a terrible place to live. The poor lady deserves a few comforts.

Seriously. Get the heck out of there, OP. Do it for your son.

You sound like a judgmental peach! Do you have good luck with men?

Pretty much. I have a degree from a top 10 university, my husband just made Big Law partner, great house in upper NW, fluent in three languages, and just found out we are expecting our first child. You are right to call me out on being judgemental because I completely am when it comes to South Florida. I actually understand South Florida, a place that is routinely voted as the rudest place in America, from my experiences living there. It’s truly hideous. And my earlier points have been validated now too. The OP is too ignorant to even lie well. You guys figured out her responses made no sense. When called on her idiocy, she just attacked others. Good thing she teaches pre-school. A kindergartener’s intelligence would be too much for her.

Not OP. Sadly, you are really no better with your pathetic bragging on an anonymous forum. You obviously crave validation. Get a life.

Isn’t bragging kind of the point of DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is a great example of two worlds colliding. I’ve lived in Miami (South Beach, downtown and Coral Gables) but have been in DC nearly a decade. Miami is the least educated city in the US, DC the most. Before anyone gets offended look it up. People in South Florida tend to be materialistic, vain, shallow, insincere, defensive, and vapid. I was regularly questioned about how I managed to graduate from college in just four years. Most people I knew took six-eight years. The OP is a person who doesn’t understand DC values. Going around Miami and environs in a Subaru without makeup, a status bag and breast implants is just unheard of. The fact she is making an effort and attending grad school probably means she’s a lot smarter/capable than most people in Miami. I would say cut her a break and let her have her pedicures from time to time. South Florida is a terrible place to live. The poor lady deserves a few comforts.

Seriously. Get the heck out of there, OP. Do it for your son.

You sound like a judgmental peach! Do you have good luck with men?

Pretty much. I have a degree from a top 10 university, my husband just made Big Law partner, great house in upper NW, fluent in three languages, and just found out we are expecting our first child. You are right to call me out on being judgemental because I completely am when it comes to South Florida. I actually understand South Florida, a place that is routinely voted as the rudest place in America, from my experiences living there. It’s truly hideous. And my earlier points have been validated now too. The OP is too ignorant to even lie well. You guys figured out her responses made no sense. When called on her idiocy, she just attacked others. Good thing she teaches pre-school. A kindergartener’s intelligence would be too much for her.

Not OP. Sadly, you are really no better with your pathetic bragging on an anonymous forum. You obviously crave validation. Get a life.

Isn’t bragging kind of the point of DCUM?

The main point. Bragging about the life you don't have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:music lessons for a 2 year old are a waste of money, all you're basically doing is having someone babysit him for an hour where he bangs on a xylophone and you have some down time. Right now you can't afford it.
DW is SAHM and has a personal account. We have "ours" and "hers" If fact I don't even know if my name is on her account.
Every month I give her cash and put a set amount in her account. This is for donations to the PTO things like that. I don't even know how much she has in the account honestly.
She uses a credit card to pay for groceries, doctor visits, even her pedicures. She gets a manicure every two weeks and a pedicure once when its warm out. I get the bill every month and pay it off. We don't have debt if she wants something over a $1000 we talk it over first, same as if I want something expensive.
It can work, and works well for us, but we have been married for 20 years, its harder starting out but you can make it work

That makes no sense. Why does she need a personal account to pay for things like donations? Why not just pay out of a joint account? I don't talk about anything with my husband and do what I want. I will mention bigger things but he doesn't care as long as we can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you have credit card debt, you are overspending. Seriously, how can you get pedicures when you have credit card debt? I would nitpick, too.

OP here: You're sound very judgemental. Lots of people have debt. It's going to take a while for us to pay off the debt. My husband just finished grad school.

In that xase you should be contributing financially and should not be a drain on the household. Get a PT job. You two need to start to be adults.