DH wants to set up a personal spending account for me (SAHM)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree to this if the amount in your account was generous. If he's going to require a budget before he funds it, then no.

That said, if you're carrying credit card debt, you guys need to sit down and figure this out. Perhaps since having your child, your legitimate expenses exceed your income. In that case, he needs to take ownership of the problem as well. But, if you're spending out of boredom when you can't afford it, then you need to own it. Actually looking at the bills is the only way to tell.

BTW, if your expenses exceed your income, and it is important to both of you that you be a SAHM, then maybe you agree the cc debt is ok for a couple of years. Even so, you need to budget, budget, budget so that it doesn't get out of control. And, if you own a home, you'd do better to borrow against it for living expenses than carry a balance on your cc. This is a dangerous approach, however, and should only be attempted if you can honestly say you can be very careful about spending.

OP here: Thanks for the feedback. We do have credit card debt but right now it's interest-free. My husband is really against pay interest. It's not typical in his home country to even have a credit card. We're trying our best to pay it off ASAP. DH just started making money a few months ago. It's been really stressful for both of us. We went from an HHI of 20k to 90k. We drive a car that's 16 years old and I'm in grad school. I am not spending crazy amounts of money every month. We're not the typical DCUM family right now. We're just at the point now where we can pay off debt.

Op - you keep adding to your story and left out critical details in your original post.
How can we give you advice when you have excuses for everything -living in FL where people notice toes, grad school tuition, debt, HHI, etc.

We're not paying tuition. Why are so hung up on a freaking pedicure.

DP.. because you brought it up. This is an extra expense you don't need. I don't blame your DH.

-signed a sahm

[Anonymous]

How much debt are we talking?
What is your HHI?
Do you have any savings?
How old are you two?
Plans for more kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree to this if the amount in your account was generous. If he's going to require a budget before he funds it, then no.

That said, if you're carrying credit card debt, you guys need to sit down and figure this out. Perhaps since having your child, your legitimate expenses exceed your income. In that case, he needs to take ownership of the problem as well. But, if you're spending out of boredom when you can't afford it, then you need to own it. Actually looking at the bills is the only way to tell.

BTW, if your expenses exceed your income, and it is important to both of you that you be a SAHM, then maybe you agree the cc debt is ok for a couple of years. Even so, you need to budget, budget, budget so that it doesn't get out of control. And, if you own a home, you'd do better to borrow against it for living expenses than carry a balance on your cc. This is a dangerous approach, however, and should only be attempted if you can honestly say you can be very careful about spending.

OP here: Thanks for the feedback. We do have credit card debt but right now it's interest-free. My husband is really against pay interest. It's not typical in his home country to even have a credit card. We're trying our best to pay it off ASAP. DH just started making money a few months ago. It's been really stressful for both of us. We went from an HHI of 20k to 90k. We drive a car that's 16 years old and I'm in grad school. I am not spending crazy amounts of money every month. We're not the typical DCUM family right now. We're just at the point now where we can pay off debt.

Op - you keep adding to your story and left out critical details in your original post.
How can we give you advice when you have excuses for everything -living in FL where people notice toes, grad school tuition, debt, HHI, etc.

We're not paying tuition. Why are so hung up on a freaking pedicure.

Not PP, but because it's such a frivolous expense when you have credit card debt, you are a student and living off one income, and have a toddler to boot!

$25 every few months is really not a big deal. You seriously need to chill out.

[Anonymous]

OP, I responded upthread that you are overspending. I did not mean to be judgmental, just wanted to give you a bit of a reality check and defend your husband's decision. if you were a SAHM with a husband making close to 7 figures, no debt, loads of money in the bank, I'd say he needs to lay off and give you the discretion to spend as you see fit. But I've been where you are and we cut out all luxuries while we paid off credit card debt.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are using a credit card and not paying it off entirely each month, then you are overspending.

You trusted your DH to support your family so you should trust him to know what is best financially...or get a job yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree to this if the amount in your account was generous. If he's going to require a budget before he funds it, then no.

That said, if you're carrying credit card debt, you guys need to sit down and figure this out. Perhaps since having your child, your legitimate expenses exceed your income. In that case, he needs to take ownership of the problem as well. But, if you're spending out of boredom when you can't afford it, then you need to own it. Actually looking at the bills is the only way to tell.

BTW, if your expenses exceed your income, and it is important to both of you that you be a SAHM, then maybe you agree the cc debt is ok for a couple of years. Even so, you need to budget, budget, budget so that it doesn't get out of control. And, if you own a home, you'd do better to borrow against it for living expenses than carry a balance on your cc. This is a dangerous approach, however, and should only be attempted if you can honestly say you can be very careful about spending.

OP here: Thanks for the feedback. We do have credit card debt but right now it's interest-free. My husband is really against pay interest. It's not typical in his home country to even have a credit card. We're trying our best to pay it off ASAP. DH just started making money a few months ago. It's been really stressful for both of us. We went from an HHI of 20k to 90k. We drive a car that's 16 years old and I'm in grad school. I am not spending crazy amounts of money every month. We're not the typical DCUM family right now. We're just at the point now where we can pay off debt.

Op - you keep adding to your story and left out critical details in your original post.
How can we give you advice when you have excuses for everything -living in FL where people notice toes, grad school tuition, debt, HHI, etc.

We're not paying tuition. Why are so hung up on a freaking pedicure.

Not PP, but because it's such a frivolous expense when you have credit card debt, you are a student and living off one income, and have a toddler to boot!

$25 every few months is really not a big deal. You seriously need to chill out.

You think the credit card debt was created by this one expense of $25 every few months? It's the one example that OP has provided so we're pointing it out. I'm sure there are a ton of other examples of unnecessary items that have created the debt, which individually are not a big deal, but collectively what got OP and her spouse into credit card debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP< you both need to sit down and look at finances. It sounds like you spend and he takes care of paying the bills. It only works if you equally know what is going on or controlling the money as a SAHM. If you don't have the income to pay off credit cards and have debt, you cannot afford things like pedicures. Not being harsh, but its a reality. As a SAHP, I know what is going in/out and pay all the bills.

EXACTLY! SAHM here, I watch cc every week on line, and if its getting high or major bill coming up, we discuss & cut back.

[Anonymous]

It's often a good way to figure out a reasonable budget. Are you saving for a new house? DC future education? Or simply early retirement? Sometimes, seeing how much you spend and what you spend it on helps. If it turns out it is not enough money, it should be fairly simple to discuss why you need more and you should know just how much more within a few months.
In a perfect world, we wouldn't have to budget. Getting in the habit early will save bigger problems down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I responded upthread that you are overspending. I did not mean to be judgmental, just wanted to give you a bit of a reality check and defend your husband's decision. if you were a SAHM with a husband making close to 7 figures, no debt, loads of money in the bank, I'd say he needs to lay off and give you the discretion to spend as you see fit. But I've been where you are and we cut out all luxuries while we paid off credit card debt.

Lol wow. I also told OP she was spending too much, but if you think you need to close to a 7 figure income to get a pedicure you are seriously out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Do your own pedicures. I have gotten an infection before. Right after my wedding. I rarely got them. Now I never get them.

[Anonymous]

Hello....have the two of you ever heard of budgeting? If money is tight it's a pretty good tool instead of bitching and moaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I responded upthread that you are overspending. I did not mean to be judgmental, just wanted to give you a bit of a reality check and defend your husband's decision. if you were a SAHM with a husband making close to 7 figures, no debt, loads of money in the bank, I'd say he needs to lay off and give you the discretion to spend as you see fit. But I've been where you are and we cut out all luxuries while we paid off credit card debt.

Lol wow. I also told OP she was spending too much, but if you think you need to close to a 7 figure income to get a pedicure you are seriously out of touch.

OP here: People are so extreme. We cut back in a lot of ways. I don't have a cell phone. We drive an old car. We don't have internet or tv at home. The pedicures are an occasional thing. I'm the mother of a difficult 2-year-old boy. He is healthy, bright, and, when he's not throwing an intense tantrum, very happy. But life with him is a roller-coaster ride. The littlest thing can send him into a rage. Getting an occasional pedicure which includes a massage REALLY helps. I spoke to DH tonight and will be able to pay off our debt in 6 months if we stop using the credit card.

[Anonymous]

Almost all 2-year olds are difficult. Age 3 is often worse. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Wait until you have 3 little beasts. One is a pet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I responded upthread that you are overspending. I did not mean to be judgmental, just wanted to give you a bit of a reality check and defend your husband's decision. if you were a SAHM with a husband making close to 7 figures, no debt, loads of money in the bank, I'd say he needs to lay off and give you the discretion to spend as you see fit. But I've been where you are and we cut out all luxuries while we paid off credit card debt.

Lol wow. I also told OP she was spending too much, but if you think you need to close to a 7 figure income to get a pedicure you are seriously out of touch.

OP here: People are so extreme. We cut back in a lot of ways. I don't have a cell phone. We drive an old car. We don't have internet or tv at home. The pedicures are an occasional thing. I'm the mother of a difficult 2-year-old boy. He is healthy, bright, and, when he's not throwing an intense tantrum, very happy. But life with him is a roller-coaster ride. The littlest thing can send him into a rage. Getting an occasional pedicure which includes a massage REALLY helps. I spoke to DH tonight and will be able to pay off our debt in 6 months if we stop using the credit card.

Your child is no more difficult than any other two year old. It sounds like you need to adjust your parenting and attitude. Or, if his behavior is that bad, he needs an evaluation. You can get a cheap cell phone. That makes no sense on the list of priorities especially with an old car. If you don't have internet or a cell phone, how are you posting here? That makes no sense? Last time I checked you needed the internet to post here.