Are women constantly being harassed or does the news recently just make it feel that way?

[Anonymous]

Its also sad how many post college female teachers take advantage of their highschool aged male students. The media doesn't take this seriously either.

[Anonymous]

In my twenties, I made the mistake a couple times of thinking that nice, friendly, respectable men in their 50s were actually interested in mentoring me.

And for any men out there who still think women like to be catcalled:
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/603/once-more-with-feeling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh no! the opposite sex finds me too attractive. I have to live with people constantly desiring me and trying to date me!"

- said about 1% of men ever

I acknowledge that men have no perspective on what it means to be a woman constantly fending off suitors and sifting through the dozens of frogs to find their prince charming.

But women need to admit that being so desired and sought after is an entitlement that most men can only dream of. Men are accustomed to being the chaser so they can't begin to understand why women wouldn't love the attention. I'm sure it makes life much harder for women in some ways, but then I'm also sure it is pretty awesome most of the time.

Women have no sense whatsoever of what it means to be a man trying to find a mate only to be rejected at least 8 out of 10 times. Women are aghast when they are rejected, but yet it's men's egos that are mocked as being fragile. You've never seen a fragile ego until you've seen a woman get rejected!

Assuming you're straight, imagine that you are constantly being harassed by gay men twice your size that you have zero interest in and you aren't sure they'll take no for an answer. Happy and grateful for the attention?

In fairness, boys (and men) *are* frequently harassed and bullied by other (usually larger) boys. But the harassment is usually more about humiliation and beatings than sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh no! the opposite sex finds me too attractive. I have to live with people constantly desiring me and trying to date me!"

- said about 1% of men ever

I acknowledge that men have no perspective on what it means to be a woman constantly fending off suitors and sifting through the dozens of frogs to find their prince charming.

But women need to admit that being so desired and sought after is an entitlement that most men can only dream of. Men are accustomed to being the chaser so they can't begin to understand why women wouldn't love the attention. I'm sure it makes life much harder for women in some ways, but then I'm also sure it is pretty awesome most of the time.

Women have no sense whatsoever of what it means to be a man trying to find a mate only to be rejected at least 8 out of 10 times. Women are aghast when they are rejected, but yet it's men's egos that are mocked as being fragile. You've never seen a fragile ego until you've seen a woman get rejected!

Assuming you're straight, imagine that you are constantly being harassed by gay men twice your size that you have zero interest in and you aren't sure they'll take no for an answer. Happy and grateful for the attention?

In fairness, boys (and men) *are* frequently harassed and bullied by other (usually larger) boys. But the harassment is usually more about humiliation and beatings than sex.

I think the harassment of women and girls is also about humiliating them, and it isn't merely some poorly executed "pass".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here.

Three women I didn't know have just walked up to me an kissed me on the mouth and waited for my reaction. One woman grabbed my backside in a bar. Another leered at by backside and said aggressive sexual rhetoric.

I incorporate it into my masterbation schedule .

Guy here too.

I've had a few walk up kissers - my wife was 5 feet away with me during one of them. I've had an old woman grab my ass when I was 16. I've had women yell at me from cars. I've had my mom's friends leer at me and make comments about me when I've had my shirt off (maybe 17 at the time). I've had a female boss speculate about my d*ck size with my coworker and had have had my junk grabbed. It's not as pervasive as it is for women but it does happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its also sad how many post college female teachers take advantage of their highschool aged male students. The media doesn't take this seriously either.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh no! the opposite sex finds me too attractive. I have to live with people constantly desiring me and trying to date me!"

- said about 1% of men ever

I acknowledge that men have no perspective on what it means to be a woman constantly fending off suitors and sifting through the dozens of frogs to find their prince charming.

But women need to admit that being so desired and sought after is an entitlement that most men can only dream of. Men are accustomed to being the chaser so they can't begin to understand why women wouldn't love the attention. I'm sure it makes life much harder for women in some ways, but then I'm also sure it is pretty awesome most of the time.

Women have no sense whatsoever of what it means to be a man trying to find a mate only to be rejected at least 8 out of 10 times. Women are aghast when they are rejected, but yet it's men's egos that are mocked as being fragile. You've never seen a fragile ego until you've seen a woman get rejected!

Assuming you're straight, imagine that you are constantly being harassed by gay men twice your size that you have zero interest in and you aren't sure they'll take no for an answer. Happy and grateful for the attention?

In fairness, boys (and men) *are* frequently harassed and bullied by other (usually larger) boys. But the harassment is usually more about humiliation and beatings than sex.

I think the harassment of women and girls is also about humiliating them, and it isn't merely some poorly executed "pass".

That's a good point about it being about humiliation. The men who are the serial harassers of women are probably also frequently the bullies of men. Which, I guess is obvious, in hindsight. Just look at Weinstein and Bill O'Reilly. Everyone was terrified of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here.

Three women I didn't know have just walked up to me an kissed me on the mouth and waited for my reaction. One woman grabbed my backside in a bar. Another leered at by backside and said aggressive sexual rhetoric.

I incorporate it into my masterbation schedule .

Guy here too.

I've had a few walk up kissers - my wife was 5 feet away with me during one of them. I've had an old woman grab my ass when I was 16. I've had women yell at me from cars. I've had my mom's friends leer at me and make comments about me when I've had my shirt off (maybe 17 at the time). I've had a female boss speculate about my d*ck size with my coworker and had have had my junk grabbed. It's not as pervasive as it is for women but it does happen.

I appreciate that you recognize the difference in pervasiveness. That said, no one should have to endure that kind of behaviour, even once is one time too many. I hope you will think about reporting such events if you haven't in the past; it helps HR and coworkers realize that sexual harrassment laws protect us all, not just women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here.

Three women I didn't know have just walked up to me an kissed me on the mouth and waited for my reaction. One woman grabbed my backside in a bar. Another leered at by backside and said aggressive sexual rhetoric.

I incorporate it into my masterbation schedule .

Guy here too.

I've had a few walk up kissers - my wife was 5 feet away with me during one of them. I've had an old woman grab my ass when I was 16. I've had women yell at me from cars. I've had my mom's friends leer at me and make comments about me when I've had my shirt off (maybe 17 at the time). I've had a female boss speculate about my d*ck size with my coworker and had have had my junk grabbed. It's not as pervasive as it is for women but it does happen.

I'm sorry you had those experiences, pp. The guy you responded to claims he enjoys that type of stuff. Do you think it is the guys like him who are harassing girls and women? Do guys like you defend girls and women, or do you just look away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In fairness, boys (and men) *are* frequently harassed and bullied by other (usually larger) boys. But the harassment is usually more about humiliation and beatings than sex.

I think the harassment of women and girls is also about humiliating them, and it isn't merely some poorly executed "pass".

That's a good point about it being about humiliation. The men who are the serial harassers of women are probably also frequently the bullies of men. Which, I guess is obvious, in hindsight. Just look at Weinstein and Bill O'Reilly. Everyone was terrified of them.

In terms of figuring out whether a man will be abusive or not in a relationship, a woman should watch how the man treats other men who are weaker and of lower social status than them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Oh no! the opposite sex finds me too attractive. I have to live with people constantly desiring me and trying to date me!"

- said about 1% of men ever

I acknowledge that men have no perspective on what it means to be a woman constantly fending off suitors and sifting through the dozens of frogs to find their prince charming.

But women need to admit that being so desired and sought after is an entitlement that most men can only dream of. Men are accustomed to being the chaser so they can't begin to understand why women wouldn't love the attention. I'm sure it makes life much harder for women in some ways, but then I'm also sure it is pretty awesome most of the time.

Women have no sense whatsoever of what it means to be a man trying to find a mate only to be rejected at least 8 out of 10 times. Women are aghast when they are rejected, but yet it's men's egos that are mocked as being fragile. You've never seen a fragile ego until you've seen a woman get rejected!

No. It's not. You have no idea. Imagine half a dozen unattractive women, larger than you, making crude comments, giving you suggestive looks, and using their superior physical size to intimidate you, every day. You couldn't handle it. But women do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here.

Three women I didn't know have just walked up to me an kissed me on the mouth and waited for my reaction. One woman grabbed my backside in a bar. Another leered at by backside and said aggressive sexual rhetoric.

I incorporate it into my masterbation schedule .

Guy here too.

I've had a few walk up kissers - my wife was 5 feet away with me during one of them. I've had an old woman grab my ass when I was 16. I've had women yell at me from cars. I've had my mom's friends leer at me and make comments about me when I've had my shirt off (maybe 17 at the time). I've had a female boss speculate about my d*ck size with my coworker and had have had my junk grabbed. It's not as pervasive as it is for women but it does happen.

I'm sorry you had those experiences, pp. The guy you responded to claims he enjoys that type of stuff. Do you think it is the guys like him who are harassing girls and women? Do guys like you defend girls and women, or do you just look away?

The only time I've ever seen a person look like she was being made to look uncomfortable I asked her if she was OK and then I asked the guy to tap the brakes.

[Anonymous]

I think it is pretty normal for a woman to be sexualized, harassed, and many assaulted for a large part of her life, if she is attractive. It's just part of being a woman for many of us.

I don't mind the cat calling or sexualization...that is to be expected. Comments are annoying but can be dealt with. If someone says I have a nice whatever, it does not really bother me. (If they say all they can think about is f-ing me and they are not my boyfriend or a in relationship with me)--that bothers me.

What I mind are things like being groped and touched sexually inappropriately (even in high school...once I was asleep on a field trip), being called "the entertainment" in a professional setting, and attempted rape. That stuff is not okay, but it happens to many, many women all of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know how to answer this question. Cat calls is/was such a normal part of life that I never really tracked it.

I do wish women would be honest and admit that to some extent the flattery feels good, it's not all harassment. Knock it off.

I hate cat calls. They make me feel watched and judged.

And it felt even worse when I was 12 or 13. Seriously, cat-calling a tween is not flattery. It's gross and nasty and intended to make her feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. Once that happens to you a few times, you figure out pretty quick that it's not meant as a compliment. Really, I can tell the difference between someone who's paying a genuine compliment and a jerk who thinks it's funny to make me feel uncomfortable by commenting on my body and what he'd like to do to it.

[Anonymous]

I think it is pretty normal for a woman to be sexualized, harassed, and many assaulted for a large part of her life, if she is attractive. It's just part of being a woman for many of us.

I don't mind the cat calling or sexualization...that is to be expected. Comments are annoying but can be dealt with. If someone says I have a nice whatever, it does not really bother me. (If they say all they can think about is f-ing me and they are not my boyfriend or a in relationship with me)--that bothers me.

What I mind are things like being groped and touched sexually inappropriately (even in high school...once I was asleep on a field trip), being called "the entertainment" in a professional setting, and attempted rape. That stuff is not okay, but it happens to many, many women all of the time.