Is this the norm for divorced 30 something women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Who the hell are these men who get "everything" done for them? That's not my life, I know that much. I cook my own meals, do my own laundry, clean up after myself.

As for "live in a nice home, go on vacations" since I pay for those things it is my right to enjoy them -- and heck I don't need to be married to get either one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it makes sense why men marry again quickly. We plan their social lives, plan family events, have their children, decorate their homes, plan vacations, send thank you notes, schedule the cleaning ladies and home maintenance, buy the children clothing and sign them up for school and activities, buy birthday gifts, plan parties... I could go on!

And you're wrong. You give a crap about planning family events. Men simply may not. I don't. My wife bought my clothes for 15 years. I had no clue where to get the brand of boxers she used to supply me until it occurred to me to look. But I haven't been dating to find a new supplier of boxer shorts (which I think about) or a home decorator (which you think about). I date to find another life partner and sex partner.

Nope, for the majority of men she is spot on.

Another man here. Nope, dead wrong.
How can so many women be so clueless about what men want in a relationship?
Let me spell it out for you. It is exactly like PP said: life partner and sex partner.
That is it! Understand? We do NOT care about the family events, home decorations, and thank you notes!
All of that is just women "performing" for the other women around them.
None of the men give a crap about any of that stuff.

I truly wished my husband wanted sex more and cared less about appearances. But that's not the case.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't this woman get a job? My god how lazy can you be. What a sad example for her kids.

Women are the most selfish people on the face of the earth.

SOME. #notallwomen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

This is exactly it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it makes sense why men marry again quickly. We plan their social lives, plan family events, have their children, decorate their homes, plan vacations, send thank you notes, schedule the cleaning ladies and home maintenance, buy the children clothing and sign them up for school and activities, buy birthday gifts, plan parties... I could go on!

And you're wrong. You give a crap about planning family events. Men simply may not. I don't. My wife bought my clothes for 15 years. I had no clue where to get the brand of boxers she used to supply me until it occurred to me to look. But I haven't been dating to find a new supplier of boxer shorts (which I think about) or a home decorator (which you think about). I date to find another life partner and sex partner.

My husband does. As does his family and others. They expect family events, birthdays, thank you notes and a nice home.

Ask your husband: why remarry? Sex or thank you notes.

If he's smart, he'll say, "I don't need to remarry to get sex - in fact, I'll get more sex if I don't - and I don't give a shit about thank you notes."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Who the hell are these men who get "everything" done for them? That's not my life, I know that much. I cook my own meals, do my own laundry, clean up after myself.

As for "live in a nice home, go on vacations" since I pay for those things it is my right to enjoy them -- and heck I don't need to be married to get either one.

Most men. Out of all of our married friends I dont know one couple where the man is in charge of the social calendar, buys the children clothing, plans the vacations and figures our logistics, decorated the house etc.

So you currently are the one who meets with the interior designer? You plan the vacations and I don't mean just picking the location to visit.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself (if married) to see if someone is taking care of you:

1. Who purchased the airfare and booked the hotel on the last vacation?? Who chose what to do on the vacation and researched it in advance?

2. Who chose and purchased the sheets on your bed? Or did these sheets just show up and you never thought about where th came from?

3. Who washes the sheets? Who knows when they were last wages?

4. Who chose the window coverings in your house and scheduled for them to be installed? Who made sure they match your decor?

5. Who scheduled the last doctor's appointment for your child? Who went?

6. Who determined the Christmas Eve/day menu, went shopping for it and cooked?

7. Who decided how to celebrate New Years?

8. Who planned the last date night ? Who scheduled the babysitter for it?

9. Who scheduled your kid's birthday party, bought the cake, bought presents, had your kid write thank you not s?

10. Who picked out the furniture and bedding in your childrens' rooms?

11. When is your child due for their next vaccine? Next doctor's appointment? When is registration for school?

12. Who made sure your child learned to swim?

13. Who makes sure the dog has had a bath?

14. Who figured out what you'll do over thanksgiving and where you'll go? Who told others what the plan is?

Omg I could go on.


Congratulations if you did all of these things above. If so, you're an evolved male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it makes sense why men marry again quickly. We plan their social lives, plan family events, have their children, decorate their homes, plan vacations, send thank you notes, schedule the cleaning ladies and home maintenance, buy the children clothing and sign them up for school and activities, buy birthday gifts, plan parties... I could go on!

And you're wrong. You give a crap about planning family events. Men simply may not. I don't. My wife bought my clothes for 15 years. I had no clue where to get the brand of boxers she used to supply me until it occurred to me to look. But I haven't been dating to find a new supplier of boxer shorts (which I think about) or a home decorator (which you think about). I date to find another life partner and sex partner.

Nope, for the majority of men she is spot on.

Another man here. Nope, dead wrong.
How can so many women be so clueless about what men want in a relationship?
Let me spell it out for you. It is exactly like PP said: life partner and sex partner.
That is it! Understand? We do NOT care about the family events, home decorations, and thank you notes!
All of that is just women "performing" for the other women around them.
None of the men give a crap about any of that stuff.

You realize men perform too, right? I mean why not have a crappy lawn? Why not just let the grass grow and never cut it ever? Because when friends and family come over they will think you suck! Not sure you even manage your lawn (I hire the lawn guy for my husband ) but this is one example.

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

No, because if I don't cut the grass the HOA will eventually do it for me and send me the bill plus a fine.

As for angry in-laws, that's a benefit not a bug. If they hate me, then they won't want to be around and that's AWESOME.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it makes sense why men marry again quickly. We plan their social lives, plan family events, have their children, decorate their homes, plan vacations, send thank you notes, schedule the cleaning ladies and home maintenance, buy the children clothing and sign them up for school and activities, buy birthday gifts, plan parties... I could go on!

And you're wrong. You give a crap about planning family events. Men simply may not. I don't. My wife bought my clothes for 15 years. I had no clue where to get the brand of boxers she used to supply me until it occurred to me to look. But I haven't been dating to find a new supplier of boxer shorts (which I think about) or a home decorator (which you think about). I date to find another life partner and sex partner.

My husband does. As does his family and others. They expect family events, birthdays, thank you notes and a nice home.

Ask your husband: why remarry? Sex or thank you notes.

If he's smart, he'll say, "I don't need to remarry to get sex - in fact, I'll get more sex if I don't - and I don't give a shit about thank you notes."

Except this isn't true for most men. For a small percentage of charming and good looking men, yes. However, most men have to work VERY hard to get laid. Having someone guaranteed to be in their bed every night (their wife) is the best shot most men have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but your friend is out of luck. Very few guys will be interested in a divorced woman with 2 kids. It's about as bad as being a fat chick.
Don't get me wrong, she could get a chubby guy with zero game and hygiene issues.

Why do we think she wants a man?!?!? That's what's amusing. The dudes on here can't be alone and can't understand that many recently divorced women don't want a man.

How then should we understand the many, many DCUM threads along the lines of "I'm a recently divorced woman looking to get back into the dating scene, how do I do that?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Who the hell are these men who get "everything" done for them? That's not my life, I know that much. I cook my own meals, do my own laundry, clean up after myself.

As for "live in a nice home, go on vacations" since I pay for those things it is my right to enjoy them -- and heck I don't need to be married to get either one.

Most men. Out of all of our married friends I dont know one couple where the man is in charge of the social calendar, buys the children clothing, plans the vacations and figures our logistics, decorated the house etc.

So you currently are the one who meets with the interior designer? [I did after we bought the house and decorated it, yes.]

You plan the vacations and I don't mean just picking the location to visit. [Yes]

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself (if married) to see if someone is taking care of you:

1. Who purchased the airfare and booked the hotel on the last vacation?? Who chose what to do on the vacation and researched it in advance? [Me]

2. Who chose and purchased the sheets on your bed? Or did these sheets just show up and you never thought about where th came from? [We're still using the ones we got as wedding presents]

3. Who washes the sheets? Who knows when they were last wages? [Me, I do it every weekend.]

4. Who chose the window coverings in your house and scheduled for them to be installed? Who made sure they match your decor? [We BOTH met the decorator and decided together]

5. Who scheduled the last doctor's appointment for your child? Who went? [Me, me]

6. Who determined the Christmas Eve/day menu, went shopping for it and cooked? [Me]

7. Who decided how to celebrate New Years? [Me]

8. Who planned the last date night ? Who scheduled the babysitter for it? [Me]

9. Who scheduled your kid's birthday party, bought the cake, bought presents, had your kid write thank you not s? [Me]

10. Who picked out the furniture and bedding in your childrens' rooms? [Me. I also spent a shitload of time putting it together]

11. When is your child due for their next vaccine? Next doctor's appointment? When is registration for school? [Once a year, month of their birthdays, school registration is a done deal thanks to me]

12. Who made sure your child learned to swim? [Me, and I went to the lessons as well]

13. Who makes sure the dog has had a bath? [No dog]

14. Who figured out what you'll do over thanksgiving and where you'll go? Who told others what the plan is? [Me]

Omg I could go on.

Congratulations if you did all of these things above. If so, you're an evolved male.

I guess I am involved.

Or from another point of view, I need a better wife... hmmmmm...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Except this isn't true for most men. For a small percentage of charming and good looking men, yes. However, most men have to work VERY hard to get laid. Having someone guaranteed to be in their bed every night (their wife) is the best shot most men have.

Nope. Most married men get shitty starfish duty sex if they are lucky. It is dead easy to find a woman who wants to get it on, thanks to the miracle of the internet. If it's a single mom in her 30s or 40s, all the "work" you have to do to get her into bed is pretty much say hello.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Who the hell are these men who get "everything" done for them? That's not my life, I know that much. I cook my own meals, do my own laundry, clean up after myself.

As for "live in a nice home, go on vacations" since I pay for those things it is my right to enjoy them -- and heck I don't need to be married to get either one.

Most men. Out of all of our married friends I dont know one couple where the man is in charge of the social calendar, buys the children clothing, plans the vacations and figures our logistics, decorated the house etc.

So you currently are the one who meets with the interior designer? You plan the vacations and I don't mean just picking the location to visit.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself (if married) to see if someone is taking care of you:

1. Who purchased the airfare and booked the hotel on the last vacation?? Who chose what to do on the vacation and researched it in advance?

2. Who chose and purchased the sheets on your bed? Or did these sheets just show up and you never thought about where th came from?

3. Who washes the sheets? Who knows when they were last wages?

4. Who chose the window coverings in your house and scheduled for them to be installed? Who made sure they match your decor?

5. Who scheduled the last doctor's appointment for your child? Who went?

6. Who determined the Christmas Eve/day menu, went shopping for it and cooked?

7. Who decided how to celebrate New Years?

8. Who planned the last date night ? Who scheduled the babysitter for it?

9. Who scheduled your kid's birthday party, bought the cake, bought presents, had your kid write thank you not s?

10. Who picked out the furniture and bedding in your childrens' rooms?

11. When is your child due for their next vaccine? Next doctor's appointment? When is registration for school?

12. Who made sure your child learned to swim?

13. Who makes sure the dog has had a bath?

14. Who figured out what you'll do over thanksgiving and where you'll go? Who told others what the plan is?

Omg I could go on.


Congratulations if you did all of these things above. If so, you're an evolved male.

Sobering. On that whole list, I have done ever single one except vacation planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Who the hell are these men who get "everything" done for them? That's not my life, I know that much. I cook my own meals, do my own laundry, clean up after myself.

As for "live in a nice home, go on vacations" since I pay for those things it is my right to enjoy them -- and heck I don't need to be married to get either one.

Most men. Out of all of our married friends I dont know one couple where the man is in charge of the social calendar, buys the children clothing, plans the vacations and figures our logistics, decorated the house etc.

So you currently are the one who meets with the interior designer? You plan the vacations and I don't mean just picking the location to visit.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself (if married) to see if someone is taking care of you:

1. Who purchased the airfare and booked the hotel on the last vacation?? Who chose what to do on the vacation and researched it in advance?

2. Who chose and purchased the sheets on your bed? Or did these sheets just show up and you never thought about where th came from?

3. Who washes the sheets? Who knows when they were last wages?

4. Who chose the window coverings in your house and scheduled for them to be installed? Who made sure they match your decor?

5. Who scheduled the last doctor's appointment for your child? Who went?

6. Who determined the Christmas Eve/day menu, went shopping for it and cooked?

7. Who decided how to celebrate New Years?

8. Who planned the last date night ? Who scheduled the babysitter for it?

9. Who scheduled your kid's birthday party, bought the cake, bought presents, had your kid write thank you not s?

10. Who picked out the furniture and bedding in your childrens' rooms?

11. When is your child due for their next vaccine? Next doctor's appointment? When is registration for school?

12. Who made sure your child learned to swim?

13. Who makes sure the dog has had a bath?

14. Who figured out what you'll do over thanksgiving and where you'll go? Who told others what the plan is?

Omg I could go on.


Congratulations if you did all of these things above. If so, you're an evolved male.

Sobering. On that whole list, I have done ever single one except vacation planning.

Are you a wife or husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Who the hell are these men who get "everything" done for them? That's not my life, I know that much. I cook my own meals, do my own laundry, clean up after myself.

As for "live in a nice home, go on vacations" since I pay for those things it is my right to enjoy them -- and heck I don't need to be married to get either one.

Most men. Out of all of our married friends I dont know one couple where the man is in charge of the social calendar, buys the children clothing, plans the vacations and figures our logistics, decorated the house etc.

So you currently are the one who meets with the interior designer? [I did after we bought the house and decorated it, yes.]

You plan the vacations and I don't mean just picking the location to visit. [Yes]

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself (if married) to see if someone is taking care of you:

1. Who purchased the airfare and booked the hotel on the last vacation?? Who chose what to do on the vacation and researched it in advance? [Me]

2. Who chose and purchased the sheets on your bed? Or did these sheets just show up and you never thought about where th came from? [We're still using the ones we got as wedding presents]

3. Who washes the sheets? Who knows when they were last wages? [Me, I do it every weekend.]

4. Who chose the window coverings in your house and scheduled for them to be installed? Who made sure they match your decor? [We BOTH met the decorator and decided together]

5. Who scheduled the last doctor's appointment for your child? Who went? [Me, me]

6. Who determined the Christmas Eve/day menu, went shopping for it and cooked? [Me]

7. Who decided how to celebrate New Years? [Me]

8. Who planned the last date night ? Who scheduled the babysitter for it? [Me]

9. Who scheduled your kid's birthday party, bought the cake, bought presents, had your kid write thank you not s? [Me]

10. Who picked out the furniture and bedding in your childrens' rooms? [Me. I also spent a shitload of time putting it together]

11. When is your child due for their next vaccine? Next doctor's appointment? When is registration for school? [Once a year, month of their birthdays, school registration is a done deal thanks to me]

12. Who made sure your child learned to swim? [Me, and I went to the lessons as well]

13. Who makes sure the dog has had a bath? [No dog]

14. Who figured out what you'll do over thanksgiving and where you'll go? Who told others what the plan is? [Me]

Omg I could go on.

Congratulations if you did all of these things above. If so, you're an evolved male.

I guess I am involved.

Or from another point of view, I need a better wife... hmmmmm...

You get an A+ in spouse-hood. Congratulations! (I mean that sincerely.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Except this isn't true for most men. For a small percentage of charming and good looking men, yes. However, most men have to work VERY hard to get laid. Having someone guaranteed to be in their bed every night (their wife) is the best shot most men have.

Nope. Most married men get shitty starfish duty sex if they are lucky. It is dead easy to find a woman who wants to get it on, thanks to the miracle of the internet. If it's a single mom in her 30s or 40s, all the "work" you have to do to get her into bed is pretty much say hello.

Probably easy to find an unattractive woman. But an attractive woman? Not as easy.