Is this the norm for divorced 30 something women?

[Anonymous]

Feel free to call me a loser, but my wife left me due to feeling unfulfilled in our relationship. We have two children.

The downsides: I only see my children three days a week. I moved from a great house into a condo that is nice but a bit sad for a 45yo. I can't retire at 55 as planned. 65 now.

The upside: everything else.

Men, I have no idea how this works if you are poor or fat, but if you have a good career and have stayed in shape you will find it hard to believe how easy it is as a divorced man to meet and have relationships with attractive women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

I have a subconscious desire to have someone else do the dishes? Funny, I'm pretty sure my goal is a pretty face and a cute ass at the end of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feel free to call me a loser, but my wife left me due to feeling unfulfilled in our relationship. We have two children.

The downsides: I only see my children three days a week. I moved from a great house into a condo that is nice but a bit sad for a 45yo. I can't retire at 55 as planned. 65 now.

The upside: everything else.

Men, I have no idea how this works if you are poor or fat, but if you have a good career and have stayed in shape you will find it hard to believe how easy it is as a divorced man to meet and have relationships with attractive women.

So you're in the top 5 percent of men. No wonder you can get laid. Most American men are fat.

[Anonymous]

Been a single Mom for 4 years and have my stuff together. Only recently met the one
My abusive ex? Of course moved on quickly and hooked another victim even with a criminal record....so....yeah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Except this isn't true for most men. For a small percentage of charming and good looking men, yes. However, most men have to work VERY hard to get laid. Having someone guaranteed to be in their bed every night (their wife) is the best shot most men have.

Nope. Most married men get shitty starfish duty sex if they are lucky. It is dead easy to find a woman who wants to get it on, thanks to the miracle of the internet. If it's a single mom in her 30s or 40s, all the "work" you have to do to get her into bed is pretty much say hello.

Probably easy to find an unattractive woman. But an attractive woman? Not as easy.

If she's less attractive than your ex-wife (who let's face it is also a mom in her 30s or 40s and thus not all that attractive herself)), but unlike your ex-wife she is enthusiastically willing to have frequent sex with you, then you can still put it in the win column.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

I have a subconscious desire to have someone else do the dishes? Funny, I'm pretty sure my goal is a pretty face and a cute ass at the end of the day.

Yeah man, I don't know how I got the dishes or laundry done or kept the house clean when I was single. Oh wait, I did it myself and it wasn't that hard. Yet for some reason women insist they should get looooooaaaaads of credit for this work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Is there a training course or certificate program to become one of these men? I read about them on here a lot, but I've never displayed any of these traits. I did more than half of the work around the house, because my ex-wife turned in to Peg Bundy when she got home from work. I cooked everyday, cleaned, paid the bills, and took care of our daughter. She didn't even know the pediatrician's name or where the office was when we got divorced. I felt like I was doing an orientation for a new employee when we split up. "And the teacher's name is... The kids dismiss at 3:15. Here's how you check the health insurance claims."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

I have a subconscious desire to have someone else do the dishes? Funny, I'm pretty sure my goal is a pretty face and a cute ass at the end of the day.

Yeah man, I don't know how I got the dishes or laundry done or kept the house clean when I was single. Oh wait, I did it myself and it wasn't that hard. Yet for some reason women insist they should get looooooaaaaads of credit for this work.

You're proving my point. You think managing and running a household is mainly dishes and laundry. My husband helps and does these things too. It's all of the other stuff that most men don't do or are unaware of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Is there a training course or certificate program to become one of these men? I read about them on here a lot, but I've never displayed any of these traits. I did more than half of the work around the house, because my ex-wife turned in to Peg Bundy when she got home from work. I cooked everyday, cleaned, paid the bills, and took care of our daughter. She didn't even know the pediatrician's name or where the office was when we got divorced. I felt like I was doing an orientation for a new employee when we split up. "And the teacher's name is... The kids dismiss at 3:15. Here's how you check the health insurance claims."

Are you a high earner? That's primarily how my husband gets away with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Who the hell are these men who get "everything" done for them? That's not my life, I know that much. I cook my own meals, do my own laundry, clean up after myself.

As for "live in a nice home, go on vacations" since I pay for those things it is my right to enjoy them -- and heck I don't need to be married to get either one.

Most men. Out of all of our married friends I dont know one couple where the man is in charge of the social calendar, buys the children clothing, plans the vacations and figures our logistics, decorated the house etc.

So you currently are the one who meets with the interior designer? You plan the vacations and I don't mean just picking the location to visit.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself (if married) to see if someone is taking care of you:

1. Who purchased the airfare and booked the hotel on the last vacation?? Who chose what to do on the vacation and researched it in advance?

2. Who chose and purchased the sheets on your bed? Or did these sheets just show up and you never thought about where th came from?

3. Who washes the sheets? Who knows when they were last wages?

4. Who chose the window coverings in your house and scheduled for them to be installed? Who made sure they match your decor?

5. Who scheduled the last doctor's appointment for your child? Who went?

6. Who determined the Christmas Eve/day menu, went shopping for it and cooked?

7. Who decided how to celebrate New Years?

8. Who planned the last date night ? Who scheduled the babysitter for it?

9. Who scheduled your kid's birthday party, bought the cake, bought presents, had your kid write thank you not s?

10. Who picked out the furniture and bedding in your childrens' rooms?

11. When is your child due for their next vaccine? Next doctor's appointment? When is registration for school?

12. Who made sure your child learned to swim?

13. Who makes sure the dog has had a bath?

14. Who figured out what you'll do over thanksgiving and where you'll go? Who told others what the plan is?

Omg I could go on.


Congratulations if you did all of these things above. If so, you're an evolved male.

Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

[Anonymous]

If you were my ex wife you could add "who moved all the boxes out from the storage closet to mop the floors there while you spent the weekend doing all the normal child activities by yourself" to the list of mostly useless busywork that a spouse can take pride in accomplishing and make thhe other spouse feel guilty,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Who the hell are these men who get "everything" done for them? That's not my life, I know that much. I cook my own meals, do my own laundry, clean up after myself.

As for "live in a nice home, go on vacations" since I pay for those things it is my right to enjoy them -- and heck I don't need to be married to get either one.

Most men. Out of all of our married friends I dont know one couple where the man is in charge of the social calendar, buys the children clothing, plans the vacations and figures our logistics, decorated the house etc.

So you currently are the one who meets with the interior designer? You plan the vacations and I don't mean just picking the location to visit.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself (if married) to see if someone is taking care of you:

1. Who purchased the airfare and booked the hotel on the last vacation?? Who chose what to do on the vacation and researched it in advance?

2. Who chose and purchased the sheets on your bed? Or did these sheets just show up and you never thought about where th came from?

3. Who washes the sheets? Who knows when they were last wages?

4. Who chose the window coverings in your house and scheduled for them to be installed? Who made sure they match your decor?

5. Who scheduled the last doctor's appointment for your child? Who went?

6. Who determined the Christmas Eve/day menu, went shopping for it and cooked?

7. Who decided how to celebrate New Years?

8. Who planned the last date night ? Who scheduled the babysitter for it?

9. Who scheduled your kid's birthday party, bought the cake, bought presents, had your kid write thank you not s?

10. Who picked out the furniture and bedding in your childrens' rooms?

11. When is your child due for their next vaccine? Next doctor's appointment? When is registration for school?

12. Who made sure your child learned to swim?

13. Who makes sure the dog has had a bath?

14. Who figured out what you'll do over thanksgiving and where you'll go? Who told others what the plan is?

Omg I could go on.


Congratulations if you did all of these things above. If so, you're an evolved male.

Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

\

Are you seriously saying you think it's OK that Christmas for your children could be "healthy snacks eaten at the gym."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

I have a subconscious desire to have someone else do the dishes? Funny, I'm pretty sure my goal is a pretty face and a cute ass at the end of the day.

Yeah man, I don't know how I got the dishes or laundry done or kept the house clean when I was single. Oh wait, I did it myself and it wasn't that hard. Yet for some reason women insist they should get looooooaaaaads of credit for this work.

Well, are you still doing the dishes and laundry now that you're married? that's kind of the point.

[Anonymous]

The point is doing dishes and laundry are the normal, required housework. Normal cleaning and work in the yard.

All this invented stuff like thank you notes or mopping the storage closet once a month are mostly an excuse to ignore your kids and watch TV on your ipad while your husband again does the stuff that is necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

I have a subconscious desire to have someone else do the dishes? Funny, I'm pretty sure my goal is a pretty face and a cute ass at the end of the day.

Yeah man, I don't know how I got the dishes or laundry done or kept the house clean when I was single. Oh wait, I did it myself and it wasn't that hard. Yet for some reason women insist they should get looooooaaaaads of credit for this work.

Well, are you still doing the dishes and laundry now that you're married? that's kind of the point.

Yes, I am. It's not hard. I'm not whining about how tough it is and DW doesn't appreciate all my extra effort like the women here who think they need Extra Hugs and Kisses just because they do the dishes.