Is this the norm for divorced 30 something women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it makes sense why men marry again quickly. We plan their social lives, plan family events, have their children, decorate their homes, plan vacations, send thank you notes, schedule the cleaning ladies and home maintenance, buy the children clothing and sign them up for school and activities, buy birthday gifts, plan parties... I could go on!

And you're wrong. You give a crap about planning family events. Men simply may not. I don't. My wife bought my clothes for 15 years. I had no clue where to get the brand of boxers she used to supply me until it occurred to me to look. But I haven't been dating to find a new supplier of boxer shorts (which I think about) or a home decorator (which you think about). I date to find another life partner and sex partner.

Nope, for the majority of men she is spot on.

Another man here. Nope, dead wrong.
How can so many women be so clueless about what men want in a relationship?
Let me spell it out for you. It is exactly like PP said: life partner and sex partner.
That is it! Understand? We do NOT care about the family events, home decorations, and thank you notes!
All of that is just women "performing" for the other women around them.
None of the men give a crap about any of that stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older women date around or will even have a long term boyfriend, but tend to have a "hell no" attitude towards marrying again. They are tired of the role of thankless caretaker and are siked about the idea of doing their own thing / making their own decisions / etc.

You must be joking. The REAL reason many divorced women have a "hell no" attitude toward marrying again is because they got a huge alimony payment, a house, or some other type of large financial settlement and they don't want to risk either the alimony or losing a large chuck of that "nest egg" in another divorce. It's not because of any bullshit about not wanting to be a "thankless caretaker."

Face facts, divorced men are of much higher value than divorced women. Men age like wine while women age like milk. No man with means wants to have to blow dust off your vagina before having sex with you.

Get real.

Super nasty. Wow.

went to wolf trap one day, to picnic before a show. a 6 women, 50's , showed up a picnic table next to ours. they were talking about ex's and husbands. one said her husband would inherit a lot of money so she was waiting until that happens before leaving, other women said her husband is making lots of money so she is in seperate room. Another woman said she was divorced and getting payments and could not get married again but have a boyfriend. These were well dressed 50 something white women at wolf trap and all of them were milking their relationships for money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older women date around or will even have a long term boyfriend, but tend to have a "hell no" attitude towards marrying again. They are tired of the role of thankless caretaker and are siked about the idea of doing their own thing / making their own decisions / etc.

You must be joking. The REAL reason many divorced women have a "hell no" attitude toward marrying again is because they got a huge alimony payment, a house, or some other type of large financial settlement and they don't want to risk either the alimony or losing a large chuck of that "nest egg" in another divorce. It's not because of any bullshit about not wanting to be a "thankless caretaker."

Face facts, divorced men are of much higher value than divorced women. Men age like wine while women age like milk. No man with means wants to have to blow dust off your vagina before having sex with you.

Get real.

Super nasty. Wow.

went to wolf trap one day, to picnic before a show. a 6 women, 50's , showed up a picnic table next to ours. they were talking about ex's and husbands. one said her husband would inherit a lot of money so she was waiting until that happens before leaving, other women said her husband is making lots of money so she is in seperate room. Another woman said she was divorced and getting payments and could not get married again but have a boyfriend. These were well dressed 50 something white women at wolf trap and all of them were milking their relationships for money.

Well, if 6 women at Wolf Trap said it, it must be true of all women everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wait a minute. She has 2 kids and is divorcing because her husband can't afford for her to SAH? Does she think having 2 households is going to make the money issues better? Wow, just wow.

I thought this too-cutting off your nose to spite your face. But in this case, there are also children involved. I think its incredibly selfish to divorce because your spouse doesn't make enough money *for your expensive tastes* but otherwise things are good when you have kids. a woman in her 30s with 2 kids and no career and who doesn't want to work but wants a rich guy to support her? well, good luck.

This. She's evil to do that to the children, if she's that selfish. Why won't she cut back on her spending? Was she wasting the family income?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it makes sense why men marry again quickly. We plan their social lives, plan family events, have their children, decorate their homes, plan vacations, send thank you notes, schedule the cleaning ladies and home maintenance, buy the children clothing and sign them up for school and activities, buy birthday gifts, plan parties... I could go on!

And you're wrong. You give a crap about planning family events. Men simply may not. I don't. My wife bought my clothes for 15 years. I had no clue where to get the brand of boxers she used to supply me until it occurred to me to look. But I haven't been dating to find a new supplier of boxer shorts (which I think about) or a home decorator (which you think about). I date to find another life partner and sex partner.

Nope, for the majority of men she is spot on.

Another man here. Nope, dead wrong.
How can so many women be so clueless about what men want in a relationship?
Let me spell it out for you. It is exactly like PP said: life partner and sex partner.
That is it! Understand? We do NOT care about the family events, home decorations, and thank you notes!
All of that is just women "performing" for the other women around them.
None of the men give a crap about any of that stuff.

I truly wished my husband wanted sex more and cared less about appearances. But that's not the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it makes sense why men marry again quickly. We plan their social lives, plan family events, have their children, decorate their homes, plan vacations, send thank you notes, schedule the cleaning ladies and home maintenance, buy the children clothing and sign them up for school and activities, buy birthday gifts, plan parties... I could go on!

And you're wrong. You give a crap about planning family events. Men simply may not. I don't. My wife bought my clothes for 15 years. I had no clue where to get the brand of boxers she used to supply me until it occurred to me to look. But I haven't been dating to find a new supplier of boxer shorts (which I think about) or a home decorator (which you think about). I date to find another life partner and sex partner.

Nope, for the majority of men she is spot on.

Another man here. Nope, dead wrong.
How can so many women be so clueless about what men want in a relationship?
Let me spell it out for you. It is exactly like PP said: life partner and sex partner.
That is it! Understand? We do NOT care about the family events, home decorations, and thank you notes!
All of that is just women "performing" for the other women around them.
None of the men give a crap about any of that stuff.

You realize men perform too, right? I mean why not have a crappy lawn? Why not just let the grass grow and never cut it ever? Because when friends and family come over they will think you suck! Not sure you even manage your lawn (I hire the lawn guy for my husband ) but this is one example.

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but your friend is out of luck. Very few guys will be interested in a divorced woman with 2 kids. It's about as bad as being a fat chick.
Don't get me wrong, she could get a chubby guy with zero game and hygiene issues.

Only if she devalues herself. If she has good self esteem and doesn't let Internet trolls dictate her options, she can find a high quality partner. I was divorced with two kids and remarried a hot former Marine with two advanced degrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men, and particularly men who are used to being in a long term relationship (esp. one where they weren't the one to initiate the split), tend to be kind of helpless post-breakup. They don't like being alone, and will be quick to jump into something with someone new. Women who have gone through a divorce are more cognizant of the (perceived, or real) mistakes and shortcomings in their prior partner / relationship, and tend to be a little more discriminate when looking for their next partner.

I have seen this time and again with people who divorce in their 40s and 50s...the men tend to jump into their next relationship and generally end up remarried within a few years, while the women have ZERO intention of ever mrryinf again.

I don't know about divorced women not wanting to remarry, but I did find the first part to be true when I was dating. The more recent the divorce, the more a man wanted to jump into a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but your friend is out of luck. Very few guys will be interested in a divorced woman with 2 kids. It's about as bad as being a fat chick.
Don't get me wrong, she could get a chubby guy with zero game and hygiene issues.

Why do we think she wants a man?!?!? That's what's amusing. The dudes on here can't be alone and can't understand that many recently divorced women don't want a man.

[Anonymous]

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it makes sense why men marry again quickly. We plan their social lives, plan family events, have their children, decorate their homes, plan vacations, send thank you notes, schedule the cleaning ladies and home maintenance, buy the children clothing and sign them up for school and activities, buy birthday gifts, plan parties... I could go on!

And you're wrong. You give a crap about planning family events. Men simply may not. I don't. My wife bought my clothes for 15 years. I had no clue where to get the brand of boxers she used to supply me until it occurred to me to look. But I haven't been dating to find a new supplier of boxer shorts (which I think about) or a home decorator (which you think about). I date to find another life partner and sex partner.

Nope, for the majority of men she is spot on.

Another man here. Nope, dead wrong.
How can so many women be so clueless about what men want in a relationship?
Let me spell it out for you. It is exactly like PP said: life partner and sex partner.
That is it! Understand? We do NOT care about the family events, home decorations, and thank you notes!
All of that is just women "performing" for the other women around them.
None of the men give a crap about any of that stuff.

You realize men perform too, right? I mean why not have a crappy lawn? Why not just let the grass grow and never cut it ever? Because when friends and family come over they will think you suck! Not sure you even manage your lawn (I hire the lawn guy for my husband ) but this is one example.

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

So thats all you got going on? Planning and managing the household? You would be surprised how quickly that stuff takes care of itself once you are out of the picture. Most men want a sexual partner. Women like the op want a father for her kids, enough money to comfortably SAH and money to spend. Which is harder to find? Also I bet OP's friend sex drive is zero and/or bad is bed...both of which get worst as you age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older women date around or will even have a long term boyfriend, but tend to have a "hell no" attitude towards marrying again. They are tired of the role of thankless caretaker and are siked about the idea of doing their own thing / making their own decisions / etc.

You must be joking. The REAL reason many divorced women have a "hell no" attitude toward marrying again is because they got a huge alimony payment, a house, or some other type of large financial settlement and they don't want to risk either the alimony or losing a large chuck of that "nest egg" in another divorce. It's not because of any bullshit about not wanting to be a "thankless caretaker."

Face facts, divorced men are of much higher value than divorced women. Men age like wine while women age like milk. No man with means wants to have to blow dust off your vagina before having sex with you.

Get real.

This is only true if they are seriously wealthy. Your average broke divorced guy with child support he can barely afford is NOT anyone's prize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it makes sense why men marry again quickly. We plan their social lives, plan family events, have their children, decorate their homes, plan vacations, send thank you notes, schedule the cleaning ladies and home maintenance, buy the children clothing and sign them up for school and activities, buy birthday gifts, plan parties... I could go on!

And you're wrong. You give a crap about planning family events. Men simply may not. I don't. My wife bought my clothes for 15 years. I had no clue where to get the brand of boxers she used to supply me until it occurred to me to look. But I haven't been dating to find a new supplier of boxer shorts (which I think about) or a home decorator (which you think about). I date to find another life partner and sex partner.

Nope, for the majority of men she is spot on.

Another man here. Nope, dead wrong.
How can so many women be so clueless about what men want in a relationship?
Let me spell it out for you. It is exactly like PP said: life partner and sex partner.
That is it! Understand? We do NOT care about the family events, home decorations, and thank you notes!
All of that is just women "performing" for the other women around them.
None of the men give a crap about any of that stuff.

You realize men perform too, right? I mean why not have a crappy lawn? Why not just let the grass grow and never cut it ever? Because when friends and family come over they will think you suck! Not sure you even manage your lawn (I hire the lawn guy for my husband ) but this is one example.

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

So thats all you got going on? Planning and managing the household? You would be surprised how quickly that stuff takes care of itself once you are out of the picture. Most men want a sexual partner. Women like the op want a father for her kids, enough money to comfortably SAH and money to spend. Which is harder to find? Also I bet OP's friend sex drive is zero and/or bad is bed...both of which get worst as you age.

No. I also love performing oral sex but my husband is a once a week kind of guy. So in my spare time (since I'm not spending it performing oral sex) I plan luxury vacations and date nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fwiw, not planning family events will result in angry in-laws and we know how that goes. Same with not sending thank you notes.

You think thank-you notes are important, we got that. Arguably they are. The previous statement however that men remarry so that someone else can write their thank-you notes is wrong.

Obviously they don't remarry for thank you notes and I wasn't saying that. The reason they remarry is probably subconscious. But a married man is used to having someone do EVERYTHING for them. For so many men all they have to do is go to work and maybe do the dishes and they have this relatively cush life. A life where they live in a nice home, go on vacations, have social events scheduled, kids are taken care of etc.

Exactly. Thank you for breaking it down to whoever needed explaining that it wasn't about the thank you cards specifically. Geesh