Is this the norm for divorced 30 something women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

Are you deliberately being stupid? When you were single, you didn't have children to take care of, feed, clothe, vaccinate and furnish their rooms. You think taking your children to the doctor, signing them up for camps and activities, and making sure their room has a damn bed that looks somewhat easy on the eye is busy work? Or, I get it, you personally DO NOT NEED it, therefore it doesn't have to be done?

Dude. We all had time for the gym when we were single. I was in the gym or at the skating rink six damn times a week before I got married. Now my evenings are spent on cooking dinner, feeding dinner, cleaning up from it, planning for tomorrow and making sure the freaking roof doesn't cave on me. Because it's not just me anymore. And if you're married, it's not just you anymore, so don't give me the bullshit line how you PERSONALLY don't need, because guess I what? I, too, don't PERSONALLY need vaccinated children, or beds in their rooms, or school lunches, but I'd like them to not die of preventable causes, not sleep on the floor, or not go hungry at school, therefore I spend my energy and time doing things for other small people that I PERSONALLY do not need. Time that used to be spent in the gym.

Amen!!

Hahaha yup. +6 billion. The way you are obsessing over you and your gym time tells me that you don't even come close to pulling your household weight in a family situation, and you're incredibly clueless about everything that's required / everything your wife is covering. Yep, I miss the daily hour+ gym trips of my 20s too...

LOL yes yes poor poor women. They do all the work! Who would make the festivus list of grievances without women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

Are you deliberately being stupid? When you were single, you didn't have children to take care of, feed, clothe, vaccinate and furnish their rooms. You think taking your children to the doctor, signing them up for camps and activities, and making sure their room has a damn bed that looks somewhat easy on the eye is busy work? Or, I get it, you personally DO NOT NEED it, therefore it doesn't have to be done?

Dude. We all had time for the gym when we were single. I was in the gym or at the skating rink six damn times a week before I got married. Now my evenings are spent on cooking dinner, feeding dinner, cleaning up from it, planning for tomorrow and making sure the freaking roof doesn't cave on me. Because it's not just me anymore. And if you're married, it's not just you anymore, so don't give me the bullshit line how you PERSONALLY don't need, because guess I what? I, too, don't PERSONALLY need vaccinated children, or beds in their rooms, or school lunches, but I'd like them to not die of preventable causes, not sleep on the floor, or not go hungry at school, therefore I spend my energy and time doing things for other small people that I PERSONALLY do not need. Time that used to be spent in the gym.

Amen!!

Hahaha yup. +6 billion. The way you are obsessing over you and your gym time tells me that you don't even come close to pulling your household weight in a family situation, and you're incredibly clueless about everything that's required / everything your wife is covering. Yep, I miss the daily hour+ gym trips of my 20s too...

LOL yes yes poor poor women's n. They do all the work! Who would make the festivus list of grievances without women.

Continuing the species is a big job. Sorry you're of the gender responsible for almost all viilent crime and wars. Your gender could multi task better if you stopped killing people. Watch the news of you don't believe me. Allmost every violent news story has one thing in common - a penis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

Are you deliberately being stupid? When you were single, you didn't have children to take care of, feed, clothe, vaccinate and furnish their rooms. You think taking your children to the doctor, signing them up for camps and activities, and making sure their room has a damn bed that looks somewhat easy on the eye is busy work? Or, I get it, you personally DO NOT NEED it, therefore it doesn't have to be done?

Dude. We all had time for the gym when we were single. I was in the gym or at the skating rink six damn times a week before I got married. Now my evenings are spent on cooking dinner, feeding dinner, cleaning up from it, planning for tomorrow and making sure the freaking roof doesn't cave on me. Because it's not just me anymore. And if you're married, it's not just you anymore, so don't give me the bullshit line how you PERSONALLY don't need, because guess I what? I, too, don't PERSONALLY need vaccinated children, or beds in their rooms, or school lunches, but I'd like them to not die of preventable causes, not sleep on the floor, or not go hungry at school, therefore I spend my energy and time doing things for other small people that I PERSONALLY do not need. Time that used to be spent in the gym.

Amen!!

Hahaha yup. +6 billion. The way you are obsessing over you and your gym time tells me that you don't even come close to pulling your household weight in a family situation, and you're incredibly clueless about everything that's required / everything your wife is covering. Yep, I miss the daily hour+ gym trips of my 20s too...

LOL yes yes poor poor women's n. They do all the work! Who would make the festivus list of grievances without women.

Continuing the species is a big job. Sorry you're of the gender responsible for almost all viilent crime and wars. Your gender could multi task better if you stopped killing people. Watch the news of you don't believe me. Allmost every violent news story has one thing in common - a penis.

LOL at the self-righteousness coming from an idiot who can't even spell.

[Anonymous]

I'm 44, married with two young children. If my DH were to die or split, I would have zero interest in getting married again. I have a nice house, financially secure, two children to raise for many years ahead. I would have no desire to risk my finances, complicate my life or introduce a new person into my children's lives. I will of course enjoy male company occasionally on an outpatient basis, but count me out for another marriage, been there, done that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44, married with two young children. If my DH were to die or split, I would have zero interest in getting married again. I have a nice house, financially secure, two children to raise for many years ahead. I would have no desire to risk my finances, complicate my life or introduce a new person into my children's lives. I will of course enjoy male company occasionally on an outpatient basis, but count me out for another marriage, been there, done that.

Exactly. (*cue that one same antagonistic, thick-headed, anti-female poster coming back to tell you no, it's actually that you'll be old and hideous and no one will want you, and you'll be telling yourself you don't want to marry again out of self-preservation. Despite the reality / the countless women coming here and saying the same thing)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

Are you deliberately being stupid? When you were single, you didn't have children to take care of, feed, clothe, vaccinate and furnish their rooms. You think taking your children to the doctor, signing them up for camps and activities, and making sure their room has a damn bed that looks somewhat easy on the eye is busy work? Or, I get it, you personally DO NOT NEED it, therefore it doesn't have to be done?

Dude. We all had time for the gym when we were single. I was in the gym or at the skating rink six damn times a week before I got married. Now my evenings are spent on cooking dinner, feeding dinner, cleaning up from it, planning for tomorrow and making sure the freaking roof doesn't cave on me. Because it's not just me anymore. And if you're married, it's not just you anymore, so don't give me the bullshit line how you PERSONALLY don't need, because guess I what? I, too, don't PERSONALLY need vaccinated children, or beds in their rooms, or school lunches, but I'd like them to not die of preventable causes, not sleep on the floor, or not go hungry at school, therefore I spend my energy and time doing things for other small people that I PERSONALLY do not need. Time that used to be spent in the gym.

Amen!!

Hahaha yup. +6 billion. The way you are obsessing over you and your gym time tells me that you don't even come close to pulling your household weight in a family situation, and you're incredibly clueless about everything that's required / everything your wife is covering. Yep, I miss the daily hour+ gym trips of my 20s too...

LOL yes yes poor poor women's n. They do all the work! Who would make the festivus list of grievances without women.

Continuing the species is a big job. Sorry you're of the gender responsible for almost all viilent crime and wars. Your gender could multi task better if you stopped killing people. Watch the news of you don't believe me. Allmost every violent news story has one thing in common - a penis.

LOL at the self-righteousness coming from an idiot who can't even spell.

What's worse...being lazy typing on your iPhone or being of the gender responsible for most of the suffering in this world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

Are you deliberately being stupid? When you were single, you didn't have children to take care of, feed, clothe, vaccinate and furnish their rooms. You think taking your children to the doctor, signing them up for camps and activities, and making sure their room has a damn bed that looks somewhat easy on the eye is busy work? Or, I get it, you personally DO NOT NEED it, therefore it doesn't have to be done?

Dude. We all had time for the gym when we were single. I was in the gym or at the skating rink six damn times a week before I got married. Now my evenings are spent on cooking dinner, feeding dinner, cleaning up from it, planning for tomorrow and making sure the freaking roof doesn't cave on me. Because it's not just me anymore. And if you're married, it's not just you anymore, so don't give me the bullshit line how you PERSONALLY don't need, because guess I what? I, too, don't PERSONALLY need vaccinated children, or beds in their rooms, or school lunches, but I'd like them to not die of preventable causes, not sleep on the floor, or not go hungry at school, therefore I spend my energy and time doing things for other small people that I PERSONALLY do not need. Time that used to be spent in the gym.

Amen!!

Hahaha yup. +6 billion. The way you are obsessing over you and your gym time tells me that you don't even come close to pulling your household weight in a family situation, and you're incredibly clueless about everything that's required / everything your wife is covering. Yep, I miss the daily hour+ gym trips of my 20s too...

LOL yes yes poor poor women's n. They do all the work! Who would make the festivus list of grievances without women.

Continuing the species is a big job. Sorry you're of the gender responsible for almost all viilent crime and wars. Your gender could multi task better if you stopped killing people. Watch the news of you don't believe me. Allmost every violent news story has one thing in common - a penis.

I am a woman. I just do not self-aggrandize like you do. You really need to do some self reflection. You are not as great as you think you are....just ask around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lolll at the men responding here who are completely NOT getting it. In the vast, vast majority of marriages with children: a) your "I don't get it, when I was single I did all my own laundry and just ate snacks at the gym!" (lol) straight up does not apply

But it DOES apply when you're divorced and once again single...WHICH IS WHAT THIS THREAD IS ABOUT.

The whole idea of what a woman contributes to the household/marriage is COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC.

No it's not, because the premise is that the very reason men jump right back into relationships and women don't is because on balance, being in the first relationship made the man's life much easier, and the woman's life much harder. I hear you that you think because they're not explicitly looking for a workhorse this second time around, you think it's different, but you'd better believe he still expects her to cook and clean and "keep herself up" if the relationship becomes long term, and just because they might not have kids together so she won't have to do as much work in aggregate as DW1 doesn't mean she's not going to be doing a greater share of labor in the relationship than X/DH.

Yes this, a thousand times this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

Are you deliberately being stupid? When you were single, you didn't have children to take care of, feed, clothe, vaccinate and furnish their rooms. You think taking your children to the doctor, signing them up for camps and activities, and making sure their room has a damn bed that looks somewhat easy on the eye is busy work? Or, I get it, you personally DO NOT NEED it, therefore it doesn't have to be done?

Dude. We all had time for the gym when we were single. I was in the gym or at the skating rink six damn times a week before I got married. Now my evenings are spent on cooking dinner, feeding dinner, cleaning up from it, planning for tomorrow and making sure the freaking roof doesn't cave on me. Because it's not just me anymore. And if you're married, it's not just you anymore, so don't give me the bullshit line how you PERSONALLY don't need, because guess I what? I, too, don't PERSONALLY need vaccinated children, or beds in their rooms, or school lunches, but I'd like them to not die of preventable causes, not sleep on the floor, or not go hungry at school, therefore I spend my energy and time doing things for other small people that I PERSONALLY do not need. Time that used to be spent in the gym.

Amen!!

Hahaha yup. +6 billion. The way you are obsessing over you and your gym time tells me that you don't even come close to pulling your household weight in a family situation, and you're incredibly clueless about everything that's required / everything your wife is covering. Yep, I miss the daily hour+ gym trips of my 20s too...

LOL yes yes poor poor women's n. They do all the work! Who would make the festivus list of grievances without women.

Continuing the species is a big job. Sorry you're of the gender responsible for almost all viilent crime and wars. Your gender could multi task better if you stopped killing people. Watch the news of you don't believe me. Allmost every violent news story has one thing in common - a penis.

LOL at the self-righteousness coming from an idiot who can't even spell.

What's worse...being lazy typing on your iPhone or being of the gender responsible for most of the suffering in this world?

Premise REJECTED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lolll at the men responding here who are completely NOT getting it. In the vast, vast majority of marriages with children: a) your "I don't get it, when I was single I did all my own laundry and just ate snacks at the gym!" (lol) straight up does not apply

But it DOES apply when you're divorced and once again single...WHICH IS WHAT THIS THREAD IS ABOUT.

The whole idea of what a woman contributes to the household/marriage is COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC.

No it's not, because the premise is that the very reason men jump right back into relationships and women don't is because on balance, being in the first relationship made the man's life much easier, and the woman's life much harder. I hear you that you think because they're not explicitly looking for a workhorse this second time around, you think it's different, but you'd better believe he still expects her to cook and clean and "keep herself up" if the relationship becomes long term, and just because they might not have kids together so she won't have to do as much work in aggregate as DW1 doesn't mean she's not going to be doing a greater share of labor in the relationship than X/DH.

Yes this, a thousand times this.

If marriage makes women's lives much harder, they're pretty fscking stupid for agreeing to it in the first place.

Men do not want a workhorse/household lackey. They don't need to get married for that. It is MUCH cheaper to hire a maid once a month than to get married. Stop doing all that other household bullshit and he won't care, so long as the sex keeps coming.

[Anonymous]

MEN AGE LIKE FINE WINE AND WOMEN AGE LIKE MILK????!!!!

This jerk is lying to himself. Men bald, get potbellies and limp dicks. The ONLY thing that would attract a younger woman to him would be MONEY! He knows this so that's a good thing. Of course, once she gets the financially footing she needs, Ms. Young Pretty Thang dumps his sagging skin for someone her age.

On the other hand, many many women work hard to maintain their shapes while they're younger and can still attract a young man to have fun sex with (she doesn't delude herself into thinking he's with her for any other reason) or a nice, older seasoned man for remarriage.

That poster who kidded himself into thinking his wrinkled, age-spotted, bald headed ass is somehow a catch is CRAZY!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

Are you deliberately being stupid? When you were single, you didn't have children to take care of, feed, clothe, vaccinate and furnish their rooms. You think taking your children to the doctor, signing them up for camps and activities, and making sure their room has a damn bed that looks somewhat easy on the eye is busy work? Or, I get it, you personally DO NOT NEED it, therefore it doesn't have to be done?

Dude. We all had time for the gym when we were single. I was in the gym or at the skating rink six damn times a week before I got married. Now my evenings are spent on cooking dinner, feeding dinner, cleaning up from it, planning for tomorrow and making sure the freaking roof doesn't cave on me. Because it's not just me anymore. And if you're married, it's not just you anymore, so don't give me the bullshit line how you PERSONALLY don't need, because guess I what? I, too, don't PERSONALLY need vaccinated children, or beds in their rooms, or school lunches, but I'd like them to not die of preventable causes, not sleep on the floor, or not go hungry at school, therefore I spend my energy and time doing things for other small people that I PERSONALLY do not need. Time that used to be spent in the gym.

Amen!!

Hahaha yup. +6 billion. The way you are obsessing over you and your gym time tells me that you don't even come close to pulling your household weight in a family situation, and you're incredibly clueless about everything that's required / everything your wife is covering. Yep, I miss the daily hour+ gym trips of my 20s too...

But you can still have this! I go to yoga every single evening for an hour. Stop making excuses.

How do you have time for that? From the time I get home to work to bedtime is exactly 2 hours, and I feel like I'm sprinting every night to get a healthy dinner and proper bedtime and time for bonding with my kid. I don't have time for an hour-long yoga class "every single evening." If I were more on top of things I'd probably have time for a 30 minute workout every morning (my preferred time to workout) but that would have to be exactly 30 minutes running -- not a leisurely trip to and from the gym. I have time about once a week for that.

I go to an 8:30 pm class. It's 5 minutes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

Are you deliberately being stupid? When you were single, you didn't have children to take care of, feed, clothe, vaccinate and furnish their rooms. You think taking your children to the doctor, signing them up for camps and activities, and making sure their room has a damn bed that looks somewhat easy on the eye is busy work? Or, I get it, you personally DO NOT NEED it, therefore it doesn't have to be done?

Dude. We all had time for the gym when we were single. I was in the gym or at the skating rink six damn times a week before I got married. Now my evenings are spent on cooking dinner, feeding dinner, cleaning up from it, planning for tomorrow and making sure the freaking roof doesn't cave on me. Because it's not just me anymore. And if you're married, it's not just you anymore, so don't give me the bullshit line how you PERSONALLY don't need, because guess I what? I, too, don't PERSONALLY need vaccinated children, or beds in their rooms, or school lunches, but I'd like them to not die of preventable causes, not sleep on the floor, or not go hungry at school, therefore I spend my energy and time doing things for other small people that I PERSONALLY do not need. Time that used to be spent in the gym.

Amen!!

Hahaha yup. +6 billion. The way you are obsessing over you and your gym time tells me that you don't even come close to pulling your household weight in a family situation, and you're incredibly clueless about everything that's required / everything your wife is covering. Yep, I miss the daily hour+ gym trips of my 20s too...

But you can still have this! I go to yoga every single evening for an hour. Stop making excuses.

Hahaha ummm you don't know JACK about my life / schedule / family / finances / responsibilities, interesting that you feel you can make that statement. Yoga not doing much to open your mind beyond the 4 corners of your own head, huh?

News flash: Many working women fit exercise into their routines every day. Stop making blanket statements about us. Maybe you should get off your self important ass and try it too. The truth is that when we really need to, we get out of the office at the time that is necessary. Make a schedule (write it down if it helps!), stick to it, and remind yourself that working out is a priority worth keeping. Only by taking care of ourselves do we stand a chance of being the kind of person we strive to be on the job, at home with our loved ones, and in our communities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Older women don't like being alone, they just don't have any choice in the matter.

Naturally they're not going to tell the truth (nobody wants them), they will explain it in more flattering terms (I want to be a proud independent woman yay!).

Not married doesn't mean alone. But even if it did, a bad marriage is much worse than being alone. And being alone isn't really that bad. I only remarried because I met an exceptional man. He was the one who wanted the formal standing and religious blessing for largely cultural reasons. I would have happily shacked up for the rest of our lives. In fact, there's a possibility that I might have suggested simply adjacent tiny houses on the same piece of land or apartments in the same building. It was very difficult for me to get used to a male-occupied household again. He's neater than me, but everything is more intense and louder suddenly. Plus, I can't plan to have cold cereal for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again with a list of mostly irrelevant things. "Christmas Eve menu" Really? As if without that men would be lost? The majority of items on your men-are-taken-care-of-list are not directed towards the man.

When I was single (mid-thirties) my Thanksgiving and Christmas meals were healthy snacks eaten at the gym. Now that I'm married I don't have time for the gym because I'm running around taking care of all sorts of "family tasks" that I personally DO NOT NEED. A large percentage of things "scheduled for me" merely add to my list of ever growing to-do items that do not add value to my life. I can't remember the last time I had time for the gym and I get to listen to a wife that makes off-hand comments about my "belly" and tells me I should eat so late at night after I'm finally able to shut off the computer at 10:00 pm after a 14 hour work day.

Don't add a pile of irrelevant items done for your own benefit and then claim you are doing it for me.

Are you deliberately being stupid? When you were single, you didn't have children to take care of, feed, clothe, vaccinate and furnish their rooms. You think taking your children to the doctor, signing them up for camps and activities, and making sure their room has a damn bed that looks somewhat easy on the eye is busy work? Or, I get it, you personally DO NOT NEED it, therefore it doesn't have to be done?

Dude. We all had time for the gym when we were single. I was in the gym or at the skating rink six damn times a week before I got married. Now my evenings are spent on cooking dinner, feeding dinner, cleaning up from it, planning for tomorrow and making sure the freaking roof doesn't cave on me. Because it's not just me anymore. And if you're married, it's not just you anymore, so don't give me the bullshit line how you PERSONALLY don't need, because guess I what? I, too, don't PERSONALLY need vaccinated children, or beds in their rooms, or school lunches, but I'd like them to not die of preventable causes, not sleep on the floor, or not go hungry at school, therefore I spend my energy and time doing things for other small people that I PERSONALLY do not need. Time that used to be spent in the gym.

Amen!!

Hahaha yup. +6 billion. The way you are obsessing over you and your gym time tells me that you don't even come close to pulling your household weight in a family situation, and you're incredibly clueless about everything that's required / everything your wife is covering. Yep, I miss the daily hour+ gym trips of my 20s too...

But you can still have this! I go to yoga every single evening for an hour. Stop making excuses.

Hahaha ummm you don't know JACK about my life / schedule / family / finances / responsibilities, interesting that you feel you can make that statement. Yoga not doing much to open your mind beyond the 4 corners of your own head, huh?

News flash: Many working women fit exercise into their routines every day. Stop making blanket statements about us. Maybe you should get off your self important ass and try it too. The truth is that when we really need to, we get out of the office at the time that is necessary. Make a schedule (write it down if it helps!), stick to it, and remind yourself that working out is a priority worth keeping. Only by taking care of ourselves do we stand a chance of being the kind of person we strive to be on the job, at home with our loved ones, and in our communities.

Not everyone on DCUM works an eight hour office job. I have friends who do shift work and their weekly schedule changes frequently. I have another friend with two children with SN and a husband who has to work OT at will. She can't just insist on 8 pm yoga or 7 am Zumba.