What is the primary problem in your marriage?

[Anonymous]

Multiple little kids and a DH who is never home to see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband hardly talks. I'm not a particularly chatty person, but I hate that I have to save any real conversations for other outlets (friends/family) and that I never know what he is thinking and don't get much verbal affection. He's wonderful in most other ways though and I knew that about him going in, so I'm mostly okay with it, but it does leave me lonely at times. My need for more communication is the only argument we ever have, if you can even call in an argument, since he just apologizes, vows to do better, and then clams up.

Is he a scorpio? Making conversation with those goons is like pulling teeth.

really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Different parenting styles. Not a huge deal in and of itself except I'm default parent and he will come along for his, you know, nightly hour of parenting, and just completely go against how the kids best function. It's minor stuff but it causes friction with the kids who suddenly are expected to do something a totally different way than they're used to, don't, and then he's peeved they didn't do it his way. It drives me nuts.

You need to talk about that and get that under control
He also needs to spend larger blocks of time with the kids first - without any commentary about your 'default parenting style' first- struggle and then come asking you for tips before you have said conversation. If he doesn't struggle then it' might be you being intolerant of meshing your parenting styles. This will be the death of your marriage so you should figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has no love language, for giving or receiving, and thinks it's a character flaw that I want him to compliment me and be affectionate. He treats me like a roommate or his mother and doesn't see anything strange about that.

Okay, barf, stop saying that. Also, cut the princess act and do more considerate things for him for 6 months+, work on yourself and dont ask for stuff from him in return. See if that turns things around. Currently you sound very annoying and thus the roommate/mother status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Different parenting styles. Not a huge deal in and of itself except I'm default parent and he will come along for his, you know, nightly hour of parenting, and just completely go against how the kids best function. It's minor stuff but it causes friction with the kids who suddenly are expected to do something a totally different way than they're used to, don't, and then he's peeved they didn't do it his way. It drives me nuts.

You need to talk about that and get that under control
He also needs to spend larger blocks of time with the kids first - without any commentary about your 'default parenting style' first- struggle and then come asking you for tips before you have said conversation. If he doesn't struggle then it' might be you being intolerant of meshing your parenting styles. This will be the death of your marriage so you should figure it out.

Um ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has no love language, for giving or receiving, and thinks it's a character flaw that I want him to compliment me and be affectionate. He treats me like a roommate or his mother and doesn't see anything strange about that.

Okay, barf, stop saying that. Also, cut the princess act and do more considerate things for him for 6 months+, work on yourself and dont ask for stuff from him in return. See if that turns things around. Currently you sound very annoying and thus the roommate/mother status.

Harsh. If "love language" is too cliched for you, ignore it and focus on the point, which is that in 20 years together he has no pet names for me, has never complimented me, doesn't initiate cuddling or intimacy, doesn't do thoughtful things, and just basically doesn't do anything that couples do for each other. (He also doesn't make up for it by doing anything "manly" like take care of the house, lawn, or cars, before you suggest that.) We've talked it to death, I've clearly laid out how I'd love to be treated, and like i said, he sees it as weak. Anyone who would call me a needy princess over this is taking a hell of a lot for granted in their own relationship and probably can't fathom the level of platonicness from a partner that I'm describing. Why not divorce? His family is my family, our friends are mutual, I just can't fathom losing my whole life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH is a fantastic partner in all ways except for low libido. I'm a very sexual woman, and it hurts.

Did you get fat

No. I am up about 8 pounds but I don't think that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex. by far. It's the only issue, but it's a massive one. DW is once a week, if I push for it, and then only quickies. Yes, I have had affairs, no she doesn't know, I am trying to be faithful again, but it's getting tougher with the current drought.

She knows now.

+1

You are blaming your wife for the affairs. What a coward. Why not just get a divorce?

It's not normal to have sex once a week at most, and always have them be quickies. It's like snacking but never getting a gourmet meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has low energy. This is the root of our major problems: his inability to bear an equal load at home; our sex life; his messiness. He would say the root of his problems with me is my critical nature (refusal to be a doormat).

This is my answer, too. The description fits too well, actually. Pp, what have you tried? I know my husband's energy level goes up when he gets regular exercise and sleep and is about 30 pounds lighter, but this is very hard to suggest without seeming critical. I hate feeling resentful about the messiness, but it really bothers me. If there were more sex that would help take the edge off, but it's unfortunately not happening.

My H has sleep issues and needs to lose at least 30 pounds. He can't help the family because he can't even help himself

[Anonymous]

My DH's penis is way too large.

Signed,

Not a Fake Post At All.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH's penis is way too large.

Signed,

Not a Fake Post At All.

HAHA sadly I can't call it the biggest problem in our marriage, but I have this problem too! Pre-DH I used to really enjoy doggy style, but now not as much...if he accidentally thrusts too deep it HURTS, a lot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex. by far. It's the only issue, but it's a massive one. DW is once a week, if I push for it, and then only quickies. Yes, I have had affairs, no she doesn't know, I am trying to be faithful again, but it's getting tougher with the current drought.

She knows now.

+1

You are blaming your wife for the affairs. What a coward. Why not just get a divorce?

It's not normal to have sex once a week at most, and always have them be quickies. It's like snacking but never getting a gourmet meal.

Weekly quickies are more common than you think they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH's penis is way too large.

Signed,

Not a Fake Post At All.

HAHA sadly I can't call it the biggest problem in our marriage, but I have this problem too! Pre-DH I used to really enjoy doggy style, but now not as much...if he accidentally thrusts too deep it HURTS, a lot

Wanna trade?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex. by far. It's the only issue, but it's a massive one. DW is once a week, if I push for it, and then only quickies. Yes, I have had affairs, no she doesn't know, I am trying to be faithful again, but it's getting tougher with the current drought.

She knows now.

+1

You are blaming your wife for the affairs. What a coward. Why not just get a divorce?

It's not normal to have sex once a week at most, and always have them be quickies. It's like snacking but never getting a gourmet meal.

Weekly quickies are more common than you think they are.

In marriages where sex is not a priority to one spouse, maybe, but not in marriages with robust sex lives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex. by far. It's the only issue, but it's a massive one. DW is once a week, if I push for it, and then only quickies. Yes, I have had affairs, no she doesn't know, I am trying to be faithful again, but it's getting tougher with the current drought.

She knows now.

+1

You are blaming your wife for the affairs. What a coward. Why not just get a divorce?

It's not normal to have sex once a week at most, and always have them be quickies. It's like snacking but never getting a gourmet meal.

Weekly quickies are more common than you think they are.

What a coincidence: affairs are pretty common too!