What is the primary problem in your marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lose my temper too easily.

My wife cannot apologize and admit wrong.

Hi DH! Nice to see you here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work FT and we have a baby. Weekends I do all housework, trashes are packed full from the week, which he never took out. Laundry is piled up, which he never helps with. I have to nag 100 times to get anything done so now I do everything myself. He sits on the couch b/c hes "tired"

Now our sex life sucks, because I'm tired and annoyed

At a minimum I hope you're not doing his laundry. I can't imagine putting up with this. Why are you so afraid to have a fight?? What do you have to lose?

Ooooh. Good question. I'm afraid to fight, too. I really hate it.

These are the fights worth having, because your marriage is breaking anyway. Be mad you have to have a fight, be mad that he's so damn lazy, but have the fight.

[Anonymous]

My husband is a pathological liar and thief. Biding my time.

[Anonymous]

I'm too sensitive and my husband is too defensive. So an issue can escalate because he won't hear that maybe he's done something wrong and then he gets mad and I get sad and it pisses him off which makes me more sad and we go through the same damn cycle every time. Luckily we don't fight often, we never yell, and we've figured out how to deal with it over the years. But it is annoying that every time I can see exactly where things are going to go for the next 30-60 minutes.

[Anonymous]

My husband's frustration/disappointment with his career has caused him to keep wanting to push back what feels like EVERYTHING we had planned for as a couple - kids, creating a home, enjoying life (even if it doesn't cost much). I feel so robbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My DW has girls nights all the time and never, ever comes home raring to go. Nor after date night. The only time she shows some desire for sex before we get started is on vacation without the kids, which happens one, maybe two weekend a year.

I get this is hard to fathom in an otherwise good marriage where no one got out of shape and there is no resentment. It happens to a lot of women, notice the men on the board who honestly have no idea what happened to the sexual vixen they married (after the kids come along).

I couldn't say if it happens to a lot of woman (though I suspect it does), but this accurately describes my wife as well. None of the usual reasons usually given by women on these boards really seems to apply in our case. She says she doesn't know, doesn't think it's my fault, wants to want to have sex, but just doesn't. Consequently, there's a lot of porn in my life. So, the orgasms are there, but I do miss the feeling of connection and the feeling that my wife wants me.

I commiserate with your DW. Since having my DC my drive is nonexistent. DH and I have sex twice a week, we both orgasm, but I pretty much never initiate anymore. I do enjoy it once we get going but I don't crave sex, not with him or anyone. My DH feels like I don't want him anymore, and that hurts him. He appreciates that i still make an effort, but he wishes I wanted it as badly as he does.

My biggest issue is that I carry all the mental load stuff, and I'm tired of feeling like I have to plan/remember everything. He tells me how he appreciates all that I do and that he'd be lost without me, but I wish he was more aware of what needs to be done and when, without my having to tell him. I think this definitely doesn't help my sex drive, feeling stressed constantly and consumed by our family to do list.

[Anonymous]

DH has to go to office. I want him home with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is a fantastic partner in all ways except for low libido. I'm a very sexual woman, and it hurts.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has to go to office. I want him home with me.

Huh?

[Anonymous]

I want a little romance (date once a month, a hug and kiss a day) but my husband wants a roommate he can have sex with. And no, he never even finished me off so it's just about his carnal need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want a little romance (date once a month, a hug and kiss a day) but my husband wants a roommate he can have sex with. And no, he never even finished me off so it's just about his carnal need.

What does he say when you specifically tell him exactly this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A wife who refuses to work full time so I take the brunt and stress of paying bills. And no, we have no minor children. Already doing the logistics of leaving.

Was she working before you married her? If so how soon after did she stop working? No kid? what does she do all day? She must be in incredible shape cause she has time to spend hours at the gym

Ha. The women I know like this ... are NOT in incredible shape. Finally, after years of being underemployed and complaining about her weight my wife got a FT job. At least one thing accomplished! I don't really care about the extra 30 pounds, anyway.

[Anonymous]

DH has anger management problems, he rages when you least expect it, at me, the kids and his own 85 year old father and family. He has never apologized, acknowledged his rage, and in fact will try to turn it around and blame you or claim it didn't happen. When he is yelling, I ask him to stop yelling then he claims I am the one who is yelling. It's exhausting. After 14 years of marriage and 2 kids, I am ready to split up due to his pattern of behavior. I have learned that I can only control my reaction to his rage.. and lately I am so over it, I respond by staying away from him as much as possible. The marriage will likely end one day when he completely blows up like a volcano. He often asks for my opinion on random things, and when I share my option with him, he belittles me and my feelings. He sometimes gas lights me. If you asked him what is the primary problem in our marriage, he will probably say that we don't have enough sex. What he fails to understand is that I don't want to have sex with someone who constantly rages at me. We would have a better sex life if he were actually nice to me