Can't crack the dating code

[Anonymous]

You've really driven yourself into a corner with all those very specific preferences. And yes, yes you do have control over them.

[Anonymous]

Black women are not typically EXCEPTIONALLY petite. Yes, I would go for Gabrielle Union. It's not a racial thing. It's an appearance thing.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Are you yourself *exceptionally* petite? If not, this preference seems a bit weird. The whole thread makes less and less sense the more information we get. You've gotta let yourself get excited by the diamonds in the rough. Those are the best people, and you're missing out by focusing on your narrow preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black women are not typically EXCEPTIONALLY petite. Yes, I would go for Gabrielle Union. It's not a racial thing. It's an appearance thing.

I'm black and this isn't anymore true for one race than another. Obesity is related much more to SES than race. I'm 34 and no one in my circle is overweight, save for a few that have infants and are shedding off postpartum weight. Just ask yourself: where is your sample size coming from? Likely a stereotype.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black women are not typically EXCEPTIONALLY petite. Yes, I would go for Gabrielle Union. It's not a racial thing. It's an appearance thing.

I'm black and this isn't anymore true for one race than another. Obesity is related much more to SES than race. I'm 34 and no one in my circle is overweight, save for a few that have infants and are shedding off postpartum weight. Just ask yourself: where is your sample size coming from? Likely a stereotype.

Leave this one alone. We don't need everyone to want us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black women are not typically EXCEPTIONALLY petite. Yes, I would go for Gabrielle Union. It's not a racial thing. It's an appearance thing.

I'm black and this isn't anymore true for one race than another. Obesity is related much more to SES than race. I'm 34 and no one in my circle is overweight, save for a few that have infants and are shedding off postpartum weight. Just ask yourself: where is your sample size coming from? Likely a stereotype.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Are you yourself *exceptionally* petite? If not, this preference seems a bit weird. The whole thread makes less and less sense the more information we get. You've gotta let yourself get excited by the diamonds in the rough. Those are the best people, and you're missing out by focusing on your narrow preferences.

I said before pages ago, OP is not mature enough for a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think if you can only be invested emotionally in your partner if they look a certain way -marriage is not for you.
Your wife even if she's the Asian you want will not look at 45 and 50 as she did at 27. She won't look as she did at 33 as she did at 27 if she has a couple of kids.

Completely wrong. Old man's opinion here--this is why you marry a hot women when you are young. She'll still look as hot (in your mind) when she is 55 as she did at 25. That's the way it worked for me.

Great for you! I'm glad I married a guy who was into me for more than my looks so when my hair fell out and I had to have a mastectomy he didn't cheat on me or dump me.

Woman here. So sorry for your difficult journey. But that response is highly defensive when the old man was just giving perspective outside of a woman's for once. Wanting to see the attraction age is a valid point. I'm sure that over 30 years, the would love her all the same ; and you don't know what his family has been through.

NP, I think you are in the wrong and pp was spot on. I also doubt anyone who had been through anything would be dumb enough to post what he did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think if you can only be invested emotionally in your partner if they look a certain way -marriage is not for you.
Your wife even if she's the Asian you want will not look at 45 and 50 as she did at 27. She won't look as she did at 33 as she did at 27 if she has a couple of kids.

Completely wrong. Old man's opinion here--this is why you marry a hot women when you are young. She'll still look as hot (in your mind) when she is 55 as she did at 25. That's the way it worked for me.

Great for you! I'm glad I married a guy who was into me for more than my looks so when my hair fell out and I had to have a mastectomy he didn't cheat on me or dump me.

Woman here. So sorry for your difficult journey. But that response is highly defensive when the old man was just giving perspective outside of a woman's for once. Wanting to see the attraction age is a valid point. I'm sure that over 30 years, the would love her all the same ; and you don't know what his family has been through.

NP, I think you are in the wrong and pp was spot on. I also doubt anyone who had been through anything would be dumb enough to post what he did.

Another male poster here - I agree with the PP and the old man. Part of the fun in being married is watching my wife's features change in time. It doesn't mean I'm only into her for her looks, but as the PP put it, "wanting to see the attraction age" is as valid a reason as any. And yes, I find my wife every bit as attractive now, several years and two kids later, as I did the day I met her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This thread can be closed basically. She texted back. She was honest. She wasn't feeling it. FML.

I think if you take anything from this thread is that you need to work on yourself.

The biggest thing I see from all your posts is insecurity. I can't say where it comes from, but it is there. Really and truly take a look at yourself, and I don't just mean your job title and the money you make etc, but the inner you. Work on that.

Also ask a trusted friend or relative someone who you know has your best interest in mind but who can be brutally honest with you.

I just know what I want. I wish that were 1 out of every 3 women I meet, but when it's more like 1/100 it sucks. It is, what it is. But I am secure enough to know that it's better to push on single and with my dog than compromise for a second tier connection. =) All's fair in love and war. I wish I could ask her what I have to improve about myself to have made a different connection. I'm all for self improvement.

Why would you want to date someone who doesn't like you the way you are? You need to like yourself more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This thread can be closed basically. She texted back. She was honest. She wasn't feeling it. FML.

At least she was honest, too many people ghost (which is one of the most immature things in the universe).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This thread can be closed basically. She texted back. She was honest. She wasn't feeling it. FML.

At least she was honest, too many people ghost (which is one of the most immature things in the universe).

OP here. Agree 100%

[Anonymous]

OP, why are you attracted to exeptionally petite Asian women? What can they give you that others can't? Also, maybe you can move to California or overseas to find what you are looking for..

[Anonymous]

Are you the opposite of well hung? I'm getting that vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black women are not typically EXCEPTIONALLY petite. Yes, I would go for Gabrielle Union. It's not a racial thing. It's an appearance thing.

OP the more you post the more you sound like a racist with an Asian fetish. You could have said, I haven't yet met a petite AA woman or I would go for an AA woman who looks as cute as Gabrielle Union. But you stated quite clearly "I am not attracted to African American women"

Why would any woman (Asian or otherwise) who has herself together want to date a guy as shallow as you are?