Can't crack the dating code

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what traits are you looking for in a woman, just curious?

I'm curious about this as well.

Actually what I'm looking for isn't especially coveted (i.e., not looking for blonde with thigh gap and 34 c's). I just have a type and it's not especially rare (at least the physical side of things). There are many women that look physically like what I'm interested in. The harder part is finding the personality and ambition to match. And I don't know why people assume I'm not bringing the same value to the table here. I've not said anything about myself. Obviously I'm able to get dates with the type of woman I'm looking for, but I don't perform well on the dates (that's the problem). Not being able to draw them in initially isn't.

So what the hell are you looking for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just like you're not your best self on some of your first dates, the women that you're writing off may be equally not their best selves on that first date. Get over your idea that only 1 of those 15 women is worth your time and give them at least a second date.

It may just be what you posted, but your post makes you sound incredibly superficial and conceited.

It sounds like he's saying he's not physically attracted when he sees them walk in the door and this is why none of this is working for him. The women he is attracted to he somewhere in his brain thinks (knows) are out of his league so he's trying to WOW them and the ladies he could have he sees, they aren't hot to him and he gives minimal effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just like you're not your best self on some of your first dates, the women that you're writing off may be equally not their best selves on that first date. Get over your idea that only 1 of those 15 women is worth your time and give them at least a second date.

It may just be what you posted, but your post makes you sound incredibly superficial and conceited.

It sounds like he's saying he's not physically attracted when he sees them walk in the door and this is why none of this is working for him. The women he is attracted to he somewhere in his brain thinks (knows) are out of his league so he's trying to WOW them and the ladies he could have he sees, they aren't hot to him and he gives minimal effort.

This. OP may not realize yet that he isn't becoming nervous and intense and annoying because he doesn't want to screw it up, but rather because he's concerned he'll be found wanting.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Ok whatever I'm about to get flamed but I'll go for it anyway. My type is Asian with a strong preference for Korean. Educated and ambitious (not looking for submissive for those who think that's a thing). And a good person. That's really my only main criteria. I'm just especially attracted to this and I wouldn't want to enter into a long term relationship with someone who doesn't fit this mold because I know I'll always have the strongest attraction to this look and want to avoid a future of second guessing if I settled for what I'm instantly attracted to...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Ok whatever I'm about to get flamed but I'll go for it anyway. My type is Asian with a strong preference for Korean. Educated and ambitious (not looking for submissive for those who think that's a thing). And a good person. That's really my only main criteria. I'm just especially attracted to this and I wouldn't want to enter into a long term relationship with someone who doesn't fit this mold because I know I'll always have the strongest attraction to this look and want to avoid a future of second guessing if I settled for what I'm instantly attracted to...

Are you Korean or at least east Asian? That will up your odds.

[Anonymous]

Are you Korean or Asian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Ok whatever I'm about to get flamed but I'll go for it anyway. My type is Asian with a strong preference for Korean. Educated and ambitious (not looking for submissive for those who think that's a thing). And a good person. That's really my only main criteria. I'm just especially attracted to this and I wouldn't want to enter into a long term relationship with someone who doesn't fit this mold because I know I'll always have the strongest attraction to this look and want to avoid a future of second guessing if I settled for what I'm instantly attracted to...

Assuming you are not Korean or Asian, why that criteria?

I'm of that background and I can see someone with that background wanting the same for cultural purposes, but outside of that it would come across as weird to me. Maybe that is what your dates are picking up on.

[Anonymous]

No, I'm white. And by "upping odds" I don't know what you mean. I know tons of white man, asian woman couples. It doesn't have to be Korean. I just tend to find within the Asian strata that Koreans catch my eye most. But there are many Chinese women that I've dated or had relationships with too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you Korean or Asian?

If you are have your aunties set you up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm white. And by "upping odds" I don't know what you mean. I know tons of white man, asian woman couples. It doesn't have to be Korean. I just tend to find within the Asian strata that Koreans catch my eye most. But there are many Chinese women that I've dated or had relationships with too.

Because most Asians marry other Asians, so if you were Asian you'd have better odds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Ok whatever I'm about to get flamed but I'll go for it anyway. My type is Asian with a strong preference for Korean. Educated and ambitious (not looking for submissive for those who think that's a thing). And a good person. That's really my only main criteria. I'm just especially attracted to this and I wouldn't want to enter into a long term relationship with someone who doesn't fit this mold because I know I'll always have the strongest attraction to this look and want to avoid a future of second guessing if I settled for what I'm instantly attracted to...

Assuming you are not Korean or Asian, why that criteria?

I'm of that background and I can see someone with that background wanting the same for cultural purposes, but outside of that it would come across as weird to me. Maybe that is what your dates are picking up on.

No offense PP, but this pisses me off. I don't like Asian women for any stereotypical reason, it's just that the traits I am attracted to are found much more disproportionately in the Asian American community. I exclusively am attracted to brunettes, with darker skins and darker (eyes, hair) features and to very petite women. Also, great education and ambition. Let's just be honest that those set of traits (which have NOTHING to do with race/ethnicity/creepiness) are more abundant in the Asian community. Sometimes women who are Hispanic or South American fit that bill, or some Italian/Mediterranean/Arabic women too, but it's much rarer to find. Again, it's not technically about ethnicity. I'm just fishing in the pond where the traits I like are most found. They asked Al Capone why he robbed banks... "It's because that's where the money is"

[Anonymous]

If you only pick Asian women it can come off as a fetish. Maybe you should try meeting Asian women in more organic settings so it develops naturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm white. And by "upping odds" I don't know what you mean. I know tons of white man, asian woman couples. It doesn't have to be Korean. I just tend to find within the Asian strata that Koreans catch my eye most. But there are many Chinese women that I've dated or had relationships with too.

This is weird. You will stay single forever unless you change. As an Asian woman I'd be put off by a man of a different race who ONLY wants to date Asian women. I'd assume he either hates his own race or sees me as a curiosity or fetish. The mixed white-Korean couples possibly just fell in love without the man setting the Asian race as an absolute prerequisite.

[Anonymous]

Do you tell your dates, that asian is your type?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm white. And by "upping odds" I don't know what you mean. I know tons of white man, asian woman couples. It doesn't have to be Korean. I just tend to find within the Asian strata that Koreans catch my eye most. But there are many Chinese women that I've dated or had relationships with too.

This is weird. You will stay single forever unless you change. As an Asian woman I'd be put off by a man of a different race who ONLY wants to date Asian women. I'd assume he either hates his own race or sees me as a curiosity or fetish. The mixed white-Korean couples possibly just fell in love without the man setting the Asian race as an absolute prerequisite.

Did you read my PP. If you did, I think I laid out a pretty strong case of it not being a fetish.