Feeling lost career wise at 40

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I suggest taking a STC job at the World Bank. The positions are often part-time and can lead to more meaningful careers in international development or non-profits. You will need to network to find the right TTL who is hiring, but your law degree will be a plus.

Oh right, because anyone with little experience who's been unemployed for the last 5 years can just hop into World Bank consulting? 90% of those jobs are extremely competitive unless you're talking about admin work or really undesirable work.

I doubt you actually work there. I do, and I suggested this. It is more than doable because my team hires people just like OP to work 1-2 days each week.

So any chance they would hire a PhD in economics! How to find these jobs please share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With a background in law and master's in Special Ed, the first thing that came to mind for me is something like being a guardian ad litem but that's not going to be something you can do during school hours only. Really, establishing any career is going to require working full time to get started. If you want to work school hours you are looking at a part time "job" not a "career."

But, if your DH is a law firm partner, you can hire a FT nanny/au pair and you will be covered. Doesn't sound like you need your job to contribute to the family finances at all. Meet with a career counselor to get some ideas.

OP could be a special ed advocate at a place like this: http://www.weinfeldeducationgroup.com

I'm a special ed mom. A lawyer w/ teaching experience in special ed? Gold!

[Anonymous]

I'm not you but I would considering fostering. You have time and money and experience teaching and could truly make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what's wrong with the position you have? With your spouses schedule and your medical challenges it sounds absolutely perfect for you? I have a spouse who works and travels like yours and a full time job for me would simply make our family life shitty, so I don't do it. I'm grateful that I have that option.

OP here. There's nothing wrong with the job, but it's not related to my previous career and I only make $15 per hour. Also, it's only 12 hours per week with no chance of increasing those hours. I just want something more is all. More hours, more intellectual stimulation. But not full-time.

I guess I could look into aftercare options at the Kindergarten level for next year. But then what would I do about sick days/snow days and summer vacation? My husband cannot cover any sick days or snow days, he can't call off work last minute. And we have no family options to cover any part of summer vacation (grandparents live far away and aren't capable of babysitting). Most jobs I've had in the past have 2 weeks of vacation, I'd run through that very quickly covering sick days and snow days. My child has already missed 8 days of preschool so far in two months due to illness.

I must have read wrong, I thought you didn't really have a previous career? You would put your child in aftercare or get a nanny or whatever else working parents do. That's why I don't work. Logistics and lack of financial need. If you want the money/career enough, you figure those things out. It really isn't rocket science.

OP here. I have a job that I've worked in for two years, but I've never really had a "career." I'd like to have a career now but am not sure about the logistics. Ideally I'd like to work full-time but not sure how I would cover sick/snow days and summer vacation so I thought it wasn't a realistic possibility. [

Your are not ready for a career. My DH is out of state 6 weeks at the time 2-3 times a year and we have zero families in the area. I work full time and manage after school activities and our home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you ignored the few posters who weren't mean to you and offered concrete suggestions. You should ask yourself why. Do you just want to whine about this?

+1

Plus she says her dream of being a SAHM with 2+kids is ruined. Why can't she be a SAHM for the 1 kid she has if SAH is her dream? I suspect troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I didn't read all the posts, but OP sounds pretty heartbroken. I'm sorry OP, truly sorry about your secondary infertility. Take the time to grieve before making big changes. It really does sound like you have a great right now.

I have been pretty outspoken that OP needs to consider the disruption a CAREER would have on her marriage. She is clearly unhappy, their dream of a family is in tatters, and she is looking for this big change to boost her mood. But her DH could be impacted as well, and if she can have mid life crisis so can he.

OP says the most she ever made was $40k, which fits most of her backstory, and I doubt she was living in her own in that salary -- best case would have been a group home eating ramen. So part of her *job* as a Sahm Is to make life pleasant for whole family including her DH. Don't fill your nights and weekends with 'career' and leave DH home alone with kid. That will breed resentment, that should be family time or maybe even couple time.

And your Sahm career plans, how many kids were you planning and how far apart? Assuming the ideal tqonkids two years apart, you would have faced a similar choice in two years or so even with more kids. They are not home really all that long unless you keep pumping out babies which leads to other issues. So try to move past the loss and imagine how you would have lived st age 42 with two kids in school... I doubt career plan would be high on list.

As for mean posters, this has been a pretty civil discourse warning you of divorce and the unrealistic expectations for part time work. Not sure why being realistic is mean, but perhaps being immersed in SAHM land and nonprofit work it's been a gentler indirect environment.

You put it kindly to her. What more is left to be said?

[Anonymous]

NP here -- in a similar position. Well, only because I'm also 40, have a JD, and am a SAHM. I REALLY want to go back to work, and was LOVING my job when I was working (8 months of a baby with colic and working until 3 AM sometimes and 11 PM every night just was physically impossible).

What is the lead with the STC with the World Bank? I have a dear friend who works at the World Bank but on climate issues -- NOT a lawyer. Could she help? I'll take anything to get back to work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I suggest taking a STC job at the World Bank. The positions are often part-time and can lead to more meaningful careers in international development or non-profits. You will need to network to find the right TTL who is hiring, but your law degree will be a plus.

Oh right, because anyone with little experience who's been unemployed for the last 5 years can just hop into World Bank consulting? 90% of those jobs are extremely competitive unless you're talking about admin work or really undesirable work.

I doubt you actually work there. I do, and I suggested this. It is more than doable because my team hires people just like OP to work 1-2 days each week.

So any chance they would hire a PhD in economics! How to find these jobs please share.

Yes, please share how best to go about finding these jobs ... sounds like they could be the jackpot for all of us former lawyers who want some intellectual stimulation and adult contact but who can't commit to 40+ hours a week for whatever reason ...

[Anonymous]

My suggestion is to get a teaching or subbing job at your kid's school, that way your schedule matches your child's and on days you may have to work and there is no school, then hire a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Let's all be honest here. Either because of lifetime ADD or depression, OP has never really done *anything*. She flits from thing to thing every year or so. All of us who have had longer term careers know that it takes a lot more effort to stick out a job 5-10 years than it does to do what OP has done for the last 20 years:

- 18-22: college
- 23-26: JD
- 3-4 years of jumping around low paying non-competitive sort of legal-related jobs for $40k
- 2 (?) years of doing a masters in special ed
- 2-3 years of jumping around low paying non-competitive education related jobs for $40k
- 5 years of staying home with a kid, who for the last several years has likely been in preschool. OP didn't mention anything about even doing volunteering during this time.

OP is a classic non-committed job jumper who has been enabled by her parents and husband. She has never had to pay a single bill on her own salary. She isn't going to magically turn into someone who can commit to a job, or even a volunteer role, for more than a year.

I'm usually hardcore of the position that dads need to get a grip and spend more time dealing with shit at home in order for their wives to have satisfying careers. But I agree with the person above who said that OP has been essentially doing nothing for 20 years, her DH has been paying all the bills and working hard, and now OP is going to demand that DH starts chipping in more around the house and take time off work so she can flit around other low-paying jobs for the next 5 years solely to satiate her midlife crisis? If I were the husband, I would be peeved.

OP - the best you can ask for is to keep up with your PT job and/or do some volunteering at your kid's school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's all be honest here. Either because of lifetime ADD or depression, OP has never really done *anything*. She flits from thing to thing every year or so. All of us who have had longer term careers know that it takes a lot more effort to stick out a job 5-10 years than it does to do what OP has done for the last 20 years:

- 18-22: college
- 23-26: JD
- 3-4 years of jumping around low paying non-competitive sort of legal-related jobs for $40k
- 2 (?) years of doing a masters in special ed
- 2-3 years of jumping around low paying non-competitive education related jobs for $40k
- 5 years of staying home with a kid, who for the last several years has likely been in preschool. OP didn't mention anything about even doing volunteering during this time.

OP is a classic non-committed job jumper who has been enabled by her parents and husband. She has never had to pay a single bill on her own salary. She isn't going to magically turn into someone who can commit to a job, or even a volunteer role, for more than a year.

I'm usually hardcore of the position that dads need to get a grip and spend more time dealing with shit at home in order for their wives to have satisfying careers. But I agree with the person above who said that OP has been essentially doing nothing for 20 years, her DH has been paying all the bills and working hard, and now OP is going to demand that DH starts chipping in more around the house and take time off work so she can flit around other low-paying jobs for the next 5 years solely to satiate her midlife crisis? If I were the husband, I would be peeved.

OP - the best you can ask for is to keep up with your PT job and/or do some volunteering at your kid's school.

You are incredibly rude and condescending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's all be honest here. Either because of lifetime ADD or depression, OP has never really done *anything*. She flits from thing to thing every year or so. All of us who have had longer term careers know that it takes a lot more effort to stick out a job 5-10 years than it does to do what OP has done for the last 20 years:

- 18-22: college
- 23-26: JD
- 3-4 years of jumping around low paying non-competitive sort of legal-related jobs for $40k
- 2 (?) years of doing a masters in special ed
- 2-3 years of jumping around low paying non-competitive education related jobs for $40k
- 5 years of staying home with a kid, who for the last several years has likely been in preschool. OP didn't mention anything about even doing volunteering during this time.

OP is a classic non-committed job jumper who has been enabled by her parents and husband. She has never had to pay a single bill on her own salary. She isn't going to magically turn into someone who can commit to a job, or even a volunteer role, for more than a year.

I'm usually hardcore of the position that dads need to get a grip and spend more time dealing with shit at home in order for their wives to have satisfying careers. But I agree with the person above who said that OP has been essentially doing nothing for 20 years, her DH has been paying all the bills and working hard, and now OP is going to demand that DH starts chipping in more around the house and take time off work so she can flit around other low-paying jobs for the next 5 years solely to satiate her midlife crisis? If I were the husband, I would be peeved.

OP - the best you can ask for is to keep up with your PT job and/or do some volunteering at your kid's school.

You are incredibly rude and condescending.

And 100% right.
- new poster

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With a background in law and master's in Special Ed, the first thing that came to mind for me is something like being a guardian ad litem but that's not going to be something you can do during school hours only. Really, establishing any career is going to require working full time to get started. If you want to work school hours you are looking at a part time "job" not a "career."

But, if your DH is a law firm partner, you can hire a FT nanny/au pair and you will be covered. Doesn't sound like you need your job to contribute to the family finances at all. Meet with a career counselor to get some ideas.

OP could be a special ed advocate at a place like this: http://www.weinfeldeducationgroup.com

I'm a special ed mom. A lawyer w/ teaching experience in special ed? Gold!

Weinfeld Education Group is a great firm, too. We've worked with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Working full-time is really out of the question for me, because of my spouse's hectic work schedule/long hours/weekly travel. Spouse works 70 hour weeks and travels weekly. We don't have any local family and I don't know how I could make full-time work because I have to do all drop offs, pick ups, sick and snow days. I could really only do part-time, between the hours of 10-3 pm.

You can do it if you want to. DH also has a hectic schedule and travel. I work FT and do drop off/pick up. We use the aftercare program for snow days when open and for other days the school is closed. Sick days I usually cover. I did have backup care for sick days in the past but not at the moment. Just saying you have options if you want to work FT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's all be honest here. Either because of lifetime ADD or depression, OP has never really done *anything*. She flits from thing to thing every year or so. All of us who have had longer term careers know that it takes a lot more effort to stick out a job 5-10 years than it does to do what OP has done for the last 20 years:

- 18-22: college
- 23-26: JD
- 3-4 years of jumping around low paying non-competitive sort of legal-related jobs for $40k
- 2 (?) years of doing a masters in special ed
- 2-3 years of jumping around low paying non-competitive education related jobs for $40k
- 5 years of staying home with a kid, who for the last several years has likely been in preschool. OP didn't mention anything about even doing volunteering during this time.

OP is a classic non-committed job jumper who has been enabled by her parents and husband. She has never had to pay a single bill on her own salary. She isn't going to magically turn into someone who can commit to a job, or even a volunteer role, for more than a year.

I'm usually hardcore of the position that dads need to get a grip and spend more time dealing with shit at home in order for their wives to have satisfying careers. But I agree with the person above who said that OP has been essentially doing nothing for 20 years, her DH has been paying all the bills and working hard, and now OP is going to demand that DH starts chipping in more around the house and take time off work so she can flit around other low-paying jobs for the next 5 years solely to satiate her midlife crisis? If I were the husband, I would be peeved.

OP - the best you can ask for is to keep up with your PT job and/or do some volunteering at your kid's school.

I have no dog in this fight but your post made me LOL.