Do wealthy kids at Big 3s actually hang with financial aid kids?

[Anonymous]

OK here is my take for what is worth on this interesting subject . Son attends one of these top referred to schools.

We are upper middle class, both professionals, net about 300k a year, live in nice home in a good neighborhood. We ar able to afford most creature comforts but nothing about our life by any means is extravagant.

However to our son, we are one of the "needy ones". Sounds ridiculous and it is. From when he was born he was a natural leader, he is a nice looking kid and a gifted athlete. He also does very well in school.

I do think his athletic prowess has earned him respect and attention from his peers, regardless of how rich or how powerful their families might be. He wins the school games and everyone knows it.

At the sake of sounding like a braggart, he is considered to be one of if not the most popular boys. We do not vacation at our beach house in Nantucket, have box seats at any sporting venues, go to Aspen to ski or have a bowling alley in our basement, in fact our basement is still unfinished!

He is invited to many many great things, from trips to front row seats at games to the best clubs. I have never felt that our social standing (very average at his school) has affected HIS standing one iota. When he was young and came home wondering why WE don't have a beach house because three of his four closest friends did, I for a minute thought about switching him to public again. Then my husband reminded me "hey this is the way the world works, some will have more and some less, he better get used to that now".

I never ever let any of those peoples wealth define who we are or how we do things and I do believe that having done that early helped shape him to be the kid he is today. He is far more confident than many of his super wealthy friends/classmates. Money buys privilege but does not buy integrity or confidence. Those things are taught, do not kid yourself.

I want to add I was also never a parent who groveled to be become friends with the ultra wealthy. So happens one is a close friend of mine because we share an unusual and common interest, other than that I am nice to everyone but do not expect much, and when occasional invites come my way its a nice surprise but it doesn't rock my world. I am amazed though at how the average mom in our school is totally obsessed (and very transparent) with those ultra wealthy families.

Trust me the kids see this and our apple will not fall far from your tree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK here is my take for what is worth on this interesting subject . Son attends one of these top referred to schools.

We are upper middle class, both professionals, net about 300k a year, live in nice home in a good neighborhood. We ar able to afford most creature comforts but nothing about our life by any means is extravagant.

However to our son, we are one of the "needy ones". Sounds ridiculous and it is. From when he was born he was a natural leader, he is a nice looking kid and a gifted athlete. He also does very well in school.

I do think his athletic prowess has earned him respect and attention from his peers, regardless of how rich or how powerful their families might be. He wins the school games and everyone knows it.

At the sake of sounding like a braggart, he is considered to be one of if not the most popular boys. We do not vacation at our beach house in Nantucket, have box seats at any sporting venues, go to Aspen to ski or have a bowling alley in our basement, in fact our basement is still unfinished!

He is invited to many many great things, from trips to front row seats at games to the best clubs. I have never felt that our social standing (very average at his school) has affected HIS standing one iota. When he was young and came home wondering why WE don't have a beach house because three of his four closest friends did, I for a minute thought about switching him to public again. Then my husband reminded me "hey this is the way the world works, some will have more and some less, he better get used to that now".

I never ever let any of those peoples wealth define who we are or how we do things and I do believe that having done that early helped shape him to be the kid he is today. He is far more confident than many of his super wealthy friends/classmates. Money buys privilege but does not buy integrity or confidence. Those things are taught, do not kid yourself.

I want to add I was also never a parent who groveled to be become friends with the ultra wealthy. So happens one is a close friend of mine because we share an unusual and common interest, other than that I am nice to everyone but do not expect much, and when occasional invites come my way its a nice surprise but it doesn't rock my world. I am amazed though at how the average mom in our school is totally obsessed (and very transparent) with those ultra wealthy families.

Trust me the kids see this and our apple will not fall far from your tree.

I think the key here is that your son is a leader, handsome and a gifted athlete. He's going to do fine wherever he goes. The best athletes are always reasonably popular if not immensely so.
The school experience would likely be entirely different if you child didn't stand out in these ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to add I was also never a parent who groveled to be become friends with the ultra wealthy. So happens one is a close friend of mine because we share an unusual and common interest, other than that I am nice to everyone but do not expect much, and when occasional invites come my way its a nice surprise but it doesn't rock my world. I am amazed though at how the average mom in our school is totally obsessed (and very transparent) with those ultra wealthy families.

How is it that everyone on DCUM is so down-to-earth when the average parent is a transparent social climber? I guess we're just lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK here is my take for what is worth on this interesting subject . Son attends one of these top referred to schools.

We are upper middle class, both professionals, net about 300k a year, live in nice home in a good neighborhood. We ar able to afford most creature comforts but nothing about our life by any means is extravagant.

However to our son, we are one of the "needy ones". Sounds ridiculous and it is. From when he was born he was a natural leader, he is a nice looking kid and a gifted athlete. He also does very well in school.

I do think his athletic prowess has earned him respect and attention from his peers, regardless of how rich or how powerful their families might be. He wins the school games and everyone knows it.

At the sake of sounding like a braggart, he is considered to be one of if not the most popular boys. We do not vacation at our beach house in Nantucket, have box seats at any sporting venues, go to Aspen to ski or have a bowling alley in our basement, in fact our basement is still unfinished!

He is invited to many many great things, from trips to front row seats at games to the best clubs. I have never felt that our social standing (very average at his school) has affected HIS standing one iota. When he was young and came home wondering why WE don't have a beach house because three of his four closest friends did, I for a minute thought about switching him to public again. Then my husband reminded me "hey this is the way the world works, some will have more and some less, he better get used to that now".

I never ever let any of those peoples wealth define who we are or how we do things and I do believe that having done that early helped shape him to be the kid he is today. He is far more confident than many of his super wealthy friends/classmates. Money buys privilege but does not buy integrity or confidence. Those things are taught, do not kid yourself.

I want to add I was also never a parent who groveled to be become friends with the ultra wealthy. So happens one is a close friend of mine because we share an unusual and common interest, other than that I am nice to everyone but do not expect much, and when occasional invites come my way its a nice surprise but it doesn't rock my world. I am amazed though at how the average mom in our school is totally obsessed (and very transparent) with those ultra wealthy families.

Trust me the kids see this and our apple will not fall far from your tree.

You do sound like a braggart. Besides how do you know what families are "average?" Some of the wealthiest families I know live the most humble of lives - small homes, etc.. Many are old money or are wealthy and live very modestly. You sound as if you care more than you try to lead on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to add I was also never a parent who groveled to be become friends with the ultra wealthy. So happens one is a close friend of mine because we share an unusual and common interest, other than that I am nice to everyone but do not expect much, and when occasional invites come my way its a nice surprise but it doesn't rock my world. I am amazed though at how the average mom in our school is totally obsessed (and very transparent) with those ultra wealthy families.

How is it that everyone on DCUM is so down-to-earth when the average parent is a transparent social climber? I guess we're just lucky.

People assume certain people are "average" based on superficial material things such as home size etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK here is my take for what is worth on this interesting subject . Son attends one of these top referred to schools.

We are upper middle class, both professionals, net about 300k a year, live in nice home in a good neighborhood. We ar able to afford most creature comforts but nothing about our life by any means is extravagant.

However to our son, we are one of the "needy ones". Sounds ridiculous and it is. From when he was born he was a natural leader, he is a nice looking kid and a gifted athlete. He also does very well in school.

I do think his athletic prowess has earned him respect and attention from his peers, regardless of how rich or how powerful their families might be. He wins the school games and everyone knows it.

At the sake of sounding like a braggart, he is considered to be one of if not the most popular boys. We do not vacation at our beach house in Nantucket, have box seats at any sporting venues, go to Aspen to ski or have a bowling alley in our basement, in fact our basement is still unfinished!

He is invited to many many great things, from trips to front row seats at games to the best clubs. I have never felt that our social standing (very average at his school) has affected HIS standing one iota. When he was young and came home wondering why WE don't have a beach house because three of his four closest friends did, I for a minute thought about switching him to public again. Then my husband reminded me "hey this is the way the world works, some will have more and some less, he better get used to that now".

I never ever let any of those peoples wealth define who we are or how we do things and I do believe that having done that early helped shape him to be the kid he is today. He is far more confident than many of his super wealthy friends/classmates. Money buys privilege but does not buy integrity or confidence. Those things are taught, do not kid yourself.

I want to add I was also never a parent who groveled to be become friends with the ultra wealthy. So happens one is a close friend of mine because we share an unusual and common interest, other than that I am nice to everyone but do not expect much, and when occasional invites come my way its a nice surprise but it doesn't rock my world. I am amazed though at how the average mom in our school is totally obsessed (and very transparent) with those ultra wealthy families.

Trust me the kids see this and our apple will not fall far from your tree.

This is very odd. You say you don't care and it doesn't matter but then you make it clear you don't socialize with "wealthy" families as though you are separating yourself. That right there says it does matter. Also what school are you at? If it's one where there is not a heavy country club poplukation in your grade it may be easier than schools that have 20-25% of families at the same club and they spend time there often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK here is my take for what is worth on this interesting subject . Son attends one of these top referred to schools.

We are upper middle class, both professionals, net about 300k a year, live in nice home in a good neighborhood. We ar able to afford most creature comforts but nothing about our life by any means is extravagant.

However to our son, we are one of the "needy ones". Sounds ridiculous and it is. From when he was born he was a natural leader, he is a nice looking kid and a gifted athlete. He also does very well in school.

I do think his athletic prowess has earned him respect and attention from his peers, regardless of how rich or how powerful their families might be. He wins the school games and everyone knows it.

At the sake of sounding like a braggart, he is considered to be one of if not the most popular boys. We do not vacation at our beach house in Nantucket, have box seats at any sporting venues, go to Aspen to ski or have a bowling alley in our basement, in fact our basement is still unfinished!

He is invited to many many great things, from trips to front row seats at games to the best clubs. I have never felt that our social standing (very average at his school) has affected HIS standing one iota. When he was young and came home wondering why WE don't have a beach house because three of his four closest friends did, I for a minute thought about switching him to public again. Then my husband reminded me "hey this is the way the world works, some will have more and some less, he better get used to that now".

I never ever let any of those peoples wealth define who we are or how we do things and I do believe that having done that early helped shape him to be the kid he is today. He is far more confident than many of his super wealthy friends/classmates. Money buys privilege but does not buy integrity or confidence. Those things are taught, do not kid yourself.

I want to add I was also never a parent who groveled to be become friends with the ultra wealthy. So happens one is a close friend of mine because we share an unusual and common interest, other than that I am nice to everyone but do not expect much, and when occasional invites come my way its a nice surprise but it doesn't rock my world. I am amazed though at how the average mom in our school is totally obsessed (and very transparent) with those ultra wealthy families.

Trust me the kids see this and our apple will not fall far from your tree.

How are you able to swing one of the top 3s fairly comfortably at a hhi of only $300K? There have been so many threads that say that paying those tuition bills on any hhi under $400K is really tight? Genuinely curious because we may be in the same position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK here is my take for what is worth on this interesting subject . Son attends one of these top referred to schools.

We are upper middle class, both professionals, net about 300k a year, live in nice home in a good neighborhood. We ar able to afford most creature comforts but nothing about our life by any means is extravagant.

However to our son, we are one of the "needy ones". Sounds ridiculous and it is. From when he was born he was a natural leader, he is a nice looking kid and a gifted athlete. He also does very well in school.

I do think his athletic prowess has earned him respect and attention from his peers, regardless of how rich or how powerful their families might be. He wins the school games and everyone knows it.

At the sake of sounding like a braggart, he is considered to be one of if not the most popular boys. We do not vacation at our beach house in Nantucket, have box seats at any sporting venues, go to Aspen to ski or have a bowling alley in our basement, in fact our basement is still unfinished!

He is invited to many many great things, from trips to front row seats at games to the best clubs. I have never felt that our social standing (very average at his school) has affected HIS standing one iota. When he was young and came home wondering why WE don't have a beach house because three of his four closest friends did, I for a minute thought about switching him to public again. Then my husband reminded me "hey this is the way the world works, some will have more and some less, he better get used to that now".

I never ever let any of those peoples wealth define who we are or how we do things and I do believe that having done that early helped shape him to be the kid he is today. He is far more confident than many of his super wealthy friends/classmates. Money buys privilege but does not buy integrity or confidence. Those things are taught, do not kid yourself.

I want to add I was also never a parent who groveled to be become friends with the ultra wealthy. So happens one is a close friend of mine because we share an unusual and common interest, other than that I am nice to everyone but do not expect much, and when occasional invites come my way its a nice surprise but it doesn't rock my world. I am amazed though at how the average mom in our school is totally obsessed (and very transparent) with those ultra wealthy families.

Trust me the kids see this and our apple will not fall far from your tree.

How are you able to swing one of the top 3s fairly comfortably at a hhi of only $300K? There have been so many threads that say that paying those tuition bills on any hhi under $400K is really tight? Genuinely curious because we may be in the same position.

Sorry--I think I misread your post--your net is $300K, not your gross, correct? That would make more sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot has to do with where you live, so there's somewhat of a de facto segregation by neighborhood (or neighborhoods close by). It's easier to get together with friends who live near by, than with friends who live far away.

Precisely, or run into people and have impromptu social interactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot has to do with where you live, so there's somewhat of a de facto segregation by neighborhood (or neighborhoods close by). It's easier to get together with friends who live near by, than with friends who live far away.

Precisely, or run into people and have impromptu social interactions.

So unless people live near you are belong to a particular social club you may never make an effort? Sounds insular to me and as an excuse to remain insular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:



Forbes says there are only 500 billionaires in the US out of a total population of 325 million people. I am impressed that you know many of those billionaires so well and can attest to their wonderful characters and modest living. None of them could possibly have drug addled children/grandchildren or promote racist conspiracy theories or like flashy ways to show off their wealth. They all possess old-fashioned, middle-class values and enjoy living like regular people - if not for the lack of employment, multiple big houses, and very large personal staff. I heard Warren Buffet loves Dairy Queen! The Donald is a regular junk food addict...This image couldn't possibly be a product of PR to protect their political and economic interests at all.

^a person who writes likes this is a miserable prejudicial hater, as I read it, who has no experience to back their angry bating of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot has to do with where you live, so there's somewhat of a de facto segregation by neighborhood (or neighborhoods close by). It's easier to get together with friends who live near by, than with friends who live far away.

Precisely, or run into people and have impromptu social interactions.

So unless people live near you are belong to a particular social club you may never make an effort? Sounds insular to me and as an excuse to remain insular.

Np here, no I am contently middle class, would not drive 2 hrs for playdate, don't have the $for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:250k income poster again. ...The kids that I see that do well socially in private that aren't wealthy are both great athletes and are very intelligent....or parents are big spenders. I know one (single) mom who makes half of what we do has no house equity etc...but she's always going to have the latest whatever.

I agree with this 100% on the athlete or intelligence side.
If you're not wealthy you have to have another hook. The super sporty kids/athletes are always respected. The super smart kids tend to be respected beginning in later grades.
I don't have experience with the "poor but big spender" scenario you are talking about.

But being an athlete? That give you major, major cred.

Of course it does. Every rich white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete.

^Seething miserable anger here^. A psychologist's treasure trove. Holy cow, now we're caring who someone ELSE marries? If someone marries outside their race, it is because the person they marry DOES NOT GO ABOUT DISCUSSING RACE EVERY MINUTE! I am happy to marry a colorblind person of ANY color. I would not marry even a person of my OWN race if they were not colorblind. And that's a fact jack.
Ask me whatever you want about that!

[Anonymous]

We pay full tuition for 2 kids at private and do so due to my parents paying most of it. We live in a 900,000 house in NW DC. I had a kid come over to our house for a play date when my oldest was in 1st grade, he said our house was small and messy. What a rude kid!
So my point is even if you aren't on FA, and your family has a decent amount of money, you will not blend in with everyone, but you will find lots of nice people regardless.
(BTW, My house is not that messy...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We pay full tuition for 2 kids at private and do so due to my parents paying most of it. We live in a 900,000 house in NW DC. I had a kid come over to our house for a play date when my oldest was in 1st grade, he said our house was small and messy. What a rude kid!
So my point is even if you aren't on FA, and your family has a decent amount of money, you will not blend in with everyone, but you will find lots of nice people regardless.
(BTW, My house is not that messy...

So true. Many nice families but yes some of the wealthiest families only seek out other wealthy families. It is kind of gross. Even if kids are good friends they make it clear they don't want to socialize with you. One mom told me when she was drunk that she and her husband are good at networking and thats what they do. He is an alum and they are trying to get on the board. Hope it doesn't happen as the board should reflect the school's mission.