Do wealthy kids at Big 3s actually hang with financial aid kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:250k income poster again. ...The kids that I see that do well socially in private that aren't wealthy are both great athletes and are very intelligent....or parents are big spenders. I know one (single) mom who makes half of what we do has no house equity etc...but she's always going to have the latest whatever.

I agree with this 100% on the athlete or intelligence side.
If you're not wealthy you have to have another hook. The super sporty kids/athletes are always respected. The super smart kids tend to be respected beginning in later grades.
I don't have experience with the "poor but big spender" scenario you are talking about.

But being an athlete? That give you major, major cred.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:250k income poster again. ...The kids that I see that do well socially in private that aren't wealthy are both great athletes and are very intelligent....or parents are big spenders. I know one (single) mom who makes half of what we do has no house equity etc...but she's always going to have the latest whatever.

I agree with this 100% on the athlete or intelligence side.
If you're not wealthy you have to have another hook. The super sporty kids/athletes are always respected. The super smart kids tend to be respected beginning in later grades.
I don't have experience with the "poor but big spender" scenario you are talking about.

But being an athlete? That give you major, major cred.

Of course it does. Every rich white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:250k income poster again. ...The kids that I see that do well socially in private that aren't wealthy are both great athletes and are very intelligent....or parents are big spenders. I know one (single) mom who makes half of what we do has no house equity etc...but she's always going to have the latest whatever.

I agree with this 100% on the athlete or intelligence side.
If you're not wealthy you have to have another hook. The super sporty kids/athletes are always respected. The super smart kids tend to be respected beginning in later grades.
I don't have experience with the "poor but big spender" scenario you are talking about.

But being an athlete? That give you major, major cred.

Of course it does. Every rich white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete.

Yuck, as a white person on FA - this is completely so offensive to every race. It must make your tiny self esteem feel good for all of 2 minutes before you got back to your reality of self-loathing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I earn $250K combined but live well below our means. Our kids feel pretty socially isolated.

That's because you are choosing to live below your means. That's fine, but I wouldn't blame your kids isolation on others but on your choice to live like paupers when you don't have to. *shrug*

That's fine...judge away. I know I won't have to sell my house if either my husband or I lose our jobs and we will be able to pay for our children's college in cash.

Aww, but keeping up with the Jonses while going into debt is so much more fun.

So true. Never judge a book by their car/house/clothes. Means nothing if they are up to their eyeballs in debt. I love hearing about the millionaires next door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only way your kid breaks into a top tier SES clique is by good conditioning at home. S/he needs to speak the language and have high social IQ, while also being a top academic performer.

Says the parent of a legacy who barely struggles to stay afloat with grades, if not for her around the clock tutors.

I have seen many higher SES get knocked down by high school because the kids don't play that nonsense. Your "language" means squat if you can't back it up. If you are ignorant, dumb, and don't think school is a big deal, you are pretty much kicked to the curb, even by the measly FA students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:250k income poster again. ...The kids that I see that do well socially in private that aren't wealthy are both great athletes and are very intelligent....or parents are big spenders. I know one (single) mom who makes half of what we do has no house equity etc...but she's always going to have the latest whatever.

I agree with this 100% on the athlete or intelligence side.
If you're not wealthy you have to have another hook. The super sporty kids/athletes are always respected. The super smart kids tend to be respected beginning in later grades.
I don't have experience with the "poor but big spender" scenario you are talking about.

But being an athlete? That give you major, major cred.

Of course it does. Every rich white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete.

Yuck, as a white person on FA - this is completely so offensive to every race. It must make your tiny self esteem feel good for all of 2 minutes before you got back to your reality of self-loathing.

Wait, there are white people on FA too? Oh my, I thought it was only the minority kids getting handouts. But don't feel left out, every poor white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a great danger to middle class kids who hang out with the "rich".

The danger has to do with having a different set of consequences for mistakes and errors in judgement and flat-out bad behavior.

The rich have a soft landing. If they get expelled from a private school, they find another because they can pay whatever it takes. If a lawyers is needed, they can hire a good one. If a donation will smooth the waters, they can make it.

A middle class kid involved in the same shennigans will have a far rougher time of it regardless of whose idea it was.

Consider what Fitzgerald wrote in "The Great Gadsby" about his experiences with the rich.

"I couldn't forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy – they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together and let other people clean up the mess they had made ... "

It's like two boys walking across the same plank. The poorer kid will fall a long way and get hurt badly. The richer kid will fall a shorter distance onto a mattress. So the rich kid can take more chances and be more careless because of differential consequences..

+ 1 unfortunately I already had to show my old DD this playing out many times in regard to academics and attitude.
If we shrew up it is game over, if her friends screw up and many already have, they just go to another school that is a better fit.
Anyhow, the infrastructure at these places are awesome and that's why our children attend ... for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:250k income poster again. ...The kids that I see that do well socially in private that aren't wealthy are both great athletes and are very intelligent....or parents are big spenders. I know one (single) mom who makes half of what we do has no house equity etc...but she's always going to have the latest whatever.

I agree with this 100% on the athlete or intelligence side.
If you're not wealthy you have to have another hook. The super sporty kids/athletes are always respected. The super smart kids tend to be respected beginning in later grades.
I don't have experience with the "poor but big spender" scenario you are talking about.

But being an athlete? That give you major, major cred.

Of course it does. Every rich white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete.

Yuck, as a white person on FA - this is completely so offensive to every race. It must make your tiny self esteem feel good for all of 2 minutes before you got back to your reality of self-loathing.

Wait, there are white people on FA too? Oh my, I thought it was only the minority kids getting handouts. But don't feel left out, every poor white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete too.

You must really not like yourself PP. I feel sorry for people like you.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:250k income poster again. ...The kids that I see that do well socially in private that aren't wealthy are both great athletes and are very intelligent....or parents are big spenders. I know one (single) mom who makes half of what we do has no house equity etc...but she's always going to have the latest whatever.

I agree with this 100% on the athlete or intelligence side.
If you're not wealthy you have to have another hook. The super sporty kids/athletes are always respected. The super smart kids tend to be respected beginning in later grades.
I don't have experience with the "poor but big spender" scenario you are talking about.

But being an athlete? That give you major, major cred.

Of course it does. Every rich white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete.

Yuck, as a white person on FA - this is completely so offensive to every race. It must make your tiny self esteem feel good for all of 2 minutes before you got back to your reality of self-loathing.

Wait, there are white people on FA too? Oh my, I thought it was only the minority kids getting handouts. But don't feel left out, every poor white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete too.

The funny part in your comment is that you think those on FA at big 3 are poor. They are actually called middle class dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:250k income poster again. ...The kids that I see that do well socially in private that aren't wealthy are both great athletes and are very intelligent....or parents are big spenders. I know one (single) mom who makes half of what we do has no house equity etc...but she's always going to have the latest whatever.

I agree with this 100% on the athlete or intelligence side.
If you're not wealthy you have to have another hook. The super sporty kids/athletes are always respected. The super smart kids tend to be respected beginning in later grades.
I don't have experience with the "poor but big spender" scenario you are talking about.

But being an athlete? That give you major, major cred.

Of course it does. Every rich white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete.

Yuck, as a white person on FA - this is completely so offensive to every race. It must make your tiny self esteem feel good for all of 2 minutes before you got back to your reality of self-loathing.

Wait, there are white people on FA too? Oh my, I thought it was only the minority kids getting handouts. But don't feel left out, every poor white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete too.

The funny part in your comment is that you think those on FA at big 3 are poor. They are actually called middle class dear.

Oh, so basically every white girl (rich, poor or middle class) dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete. Got it. Thanks for the clarification.

[Anonymous]

Yes, kids make their friends regardless of income. But since you don't ask your friends how much money they have, or whether or not they receive FA, who knows?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:250k income poster again. ...The kids that I see that do well socially in private that aren't wealthy are both great athletes and are very intelligent....or parents are big spenders. I know one (single) mom who makes half of what we do has no house equity etc...but she's always going to have the latest whatever.

I agree with this 100% on the athlete or intelligence side.
If you're not wealthy you have to have another hook. The super sporty kids/athletes are always respected. The super smart kids tend to be respected beginning in later grades.
I don't have experience with the "poor but big spender" scenario you are talking about.

But being an athlete? That give you major, major cred.

Of course it does. Every rich white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete.

Yuck, as a white person on FA - this is completely so offensive to every race. It must make your tiny self esteem feel good for all of 2 minutes before you got back to your reality of self-loathing.

Wait, there are white people on FA too? Oh my, I thought it was only the minority kids getting handouts. But don't feel left out, every poor white girl dreams of marrying a rich and famous Black athlete too.

The funny part in your comment is that you think those on FA at big 3 are poor. They are actually called middle class dear.

So true!

[Anonymous]

I don't think PARENTS have a very good idea of which KIDS want to hang out with which kids. For a more realistic view, think back to your own experiences as a kid. Did poor kids have sleepovers at rich kid's houses? Did rich kids spend the night at poor kid's houses? Because, as much as we would all like to think its not true, kids know probably more about SES than the parents do (especially in middle and high school)
In my public school, it was a pretty equal mix of rich and poor kids hanging out. But the high extreme pretty much kept to themselves, as did the low extremes.

My husband went to a fancy private school as a FA kid and hung out with lots of rich kids, but then developed a significant chip on his shoulder about the wealth disparity (which he, unfortunately, still carries today.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, kids make their friends regardless of income. But since you don't ask your friends how much money they have, or whether or not they receive FA, who knows?

They can hazard a guess when they sit at my kitchen table and, while eating, say to my D.C.: Don't you feel claustrophobic in here?