Do wealthy kids at Big 3s actually hang with financial aid kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
However, the truly mega wealthy people I know (like family money in the billions) don't act this way. They are as subtle as possible with their wealth and seem super comfortable with everyone. Their kids too. It is the show off wealthy that seem to either consciously or subconsciously form their own parental bubble (vacation together, in a supper club together, get Nats tickets together, chair nonprofits together, live near each other), things that usually require time and money, both valuable commodities some FA families don't have. They have the Range Rovers, the LV purse, the Hermes belt, go to Nantucket or the Cape, and somehow make sure you know that. Kids might pick up on that. Some kids before they start K have been hanging with the same group of kids for years because of it so they start off tight knit. But at school I don't think they self segregate based on SES or FA status because most people don't know who has FA.

Forbes says there are only 500 billionaires in the US out of a total population of 325 million people. I am impressed that you know many of those billionaires so well and can attest to their wonderful characters and modest living. None of them could possibly have drug addled children/grandchildren or promote racist conspiracy theories or like flashy ways to show off their wealth. They all possess old-fashioned, middle-class values and enjoy living like regular people - if not for the lack of employment, multiple big houses, and very large personal staff. I heard Warren Buffet loves Dairy Queen! The Donald is a regular junk food addict...This image couldn't possibly be a product of PR to protect their political and economic interests at all.

PP, I don't know WTH axe to grind you've got but I do know about 6 DMV families, and you wouldn't necessarily know they are that wealthy unless you've known them a long time, and they have some breeding, so surprise surprise I guess it's middle class values. I don't know. I don't spend a lot of time getting worked up about it. You on the other hand should do some yoga, you're so wound up you might burst into glitter.

NP. I think that it's doubtful that the people you know are actual billionaires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
However, the truly mega wealthy people I know (like family money in the billions) don't act this way. They are as subtle as possible with their wealth and seem super comfortable with everyone. Their kids too. It is the show off wealthy that seem to either consciously or subconsciously form their own parental bubble (vacation together, in a supper club together, get Nats tickets together, chair nonprofits together, live near each other), things that usually require time and money, both valuable commodities some FA families don't have. They have the Range Rovers, the LV purse, the Hermes belt, go to Nantucket or the Cape, and somehow make sure you know that. Kids might pick up on that. Some kids before they start K have been hanging with the same group of kids for years because of it so they start off tight knit. But at school I don't think they self segregate based on SES or FA status because most people don't know who has FA.

Forbes says there are only 500 billionaires in the US out of a total population of 325 million people. I am impressed that you know many of those billionaires so well and can attest to their wonderful characters and modest living. None of them could possibly have drug addled children/grandchildren or promote racist conspiracy theories or like flashy ways to show off their wealth. They all possess old-fashioned, middle-class values and enjoy living like regular people - if not for the lack of employment, multiple big houses, and very large personal staff. I heard Warren Buffet loves Dairy Queen! The Donald is a regular junk food addict...This image couldn't possibly be a product of PR to protect their political and economic interests at all.

PP, I don't know WTH axe to grind you've got but I do know about 6 DMV families, and you wouldn't necessarily know they are that wealthy unless you've known them a long time, and they have some breeding, so surprise surprise I guess it's middle class values. I don't know. I don't spend a lot of time getting worked up about it. You on the other hand should do some yoga, you're so wound up you might burst into glitter.

NP. I think that it's doubtful that the people you know are actual billionaires.

Snore. Who cares? Maybe they are not billionaires but multi-millionaires and über wealthy was her point. Sta boys are friends across the board regardless of social economics. Yes certain parents really push to keep their boys with the wealthy set but usually as the boys get older it comes down to the basics of any friendship - common interests and similar sports teams etc... Sta does a beautiful job of creating a community among the boys and they follow it. My son has friends across all races religions and financials and I love it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
However, the truly mega wealthy people I know (like family money in the billions) don't act this way. They are as subtle as possible with their wealth and seem super comfortable with everyone. Their kids too. It is the show off wealthy that seem to either consciously or subconsciously form their own parental bubble (vacation together, in a supper club together, get Nats tickets together, chair nonprofits together, live near each other), things that usually require time and money, both valuable commodities some FA families don't have. They have the Range Rovers, the LV purse, the Hermes belt, go to Nantucket or the Cape, and somehow make sure you know that. Kids might pick up on that. Some kids before they start K have been hanging with the same group of kids for years because of it so they start off tight knit. But at school I don't think they self segregate based on SES or FA status because most people don't know who has FA.

Forbes says there are only 500 billionaires in the US out of a total population of 325 million people. I am impressed that you know many of those billionaires so well and can attest to their wonderful characters and modest living. None of them could possibly have drug addled children/grandchildren or promote racist conspiracy theories or like flashy ways to show off their wealth. They all possess old-fashioned, middle-class values and enjoy living like regular people - if not for the lack of employment, multiple big houses, and very large personal staff. I heard Warren Buffet loves Dairy Queen! The Donald is a regular junk food addict...This image couldn't possibly be a product of PR to protect their political and economic interests at all.

PP, I don't know WTH axe to grind you've got but I do know about 6 DMV families, and you wouldn't necessarily know they are that wealthy unless you've known them a long time, and they have some breeding, so surprise surprise I guess it's middle class values. I don't know. I don't spend a lot of time getting worked up about it. You on the other hand should do some yoga, you're so wound up you might burst into glitter.

NP. I think that it's doubtful that the people you know are actual billionaires.

Snore. Who cares? Maybe they are not billionaires but multi-millionaires and über wealthy was her point. Sta boys are friends across the board regardless of social economics. Yes certain parents really push to keep their boys with the wealthy set but usually as the boys get older it comes down to the basics of any friendship - common interests and similar sports teams etc... Sta does a beautiful job of creating a community among the boys and they follow it. My son has friends across all races religions and financials and I love it that way.

So well put. Totally agree about the bonds that are built at STA. HHI is simply not a factor.

[Anonymous]

Only way your kid breaks into a top tier SES clique is by good conditioning at home. S/he needs to speak the language and have high social IQ, while also being a top academic performer.

[Anonymous]

I went to a big 3, and my experience was what has been reflected in these comments. No one knew who got financial aid and how much - particularly in lower grades - and everyone was generally friendly (or as friendly as tweens/teens can be to each other) but in the lower grades, where parents dictated the friendships a bit more, it absolutely broke out by SES. Mostly that was very innocuous - it was because the wealthier kids lived in the same upper NW neighborhoods, had parents who worked together, had gone to the same preschools, had siblings at the same school who were also friends, etc. As we got older, it became much less stratified - but by the same token financial differences also became more obvious to us as kids (who had the fancy shoes, the fancy backpack, the fancy purse, etc.). FWIW, I have to imagine it shakes out the same way at any school. Also I was on the lower end of the SES scale and it really didn't bother me. There were plenty of kids to be friends with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a big 3, and my experience was what has been reflected in these comments. No one knew who got financial aid and how much - particularly in lower grades - and everyone was generally friendly (or as friendly as tweens/teens can be to each other) but in the lower grades, where parents dictated the friendships a bit more, it absolutely broke out by SES. Mostly that was very innocuous - it was because the wealthier kids lived in the same upper NW neighborhoods, had parents who worked together, had gone to the same preschools, had siblings at the same school who were also friends, etc. As we got older, it became much less stratified - but by the same token financial differences also became more obvious to us as kids (who had the fancy shoes, the fancy backpack, the fancy purse, etc.). FWIW, I have to imagine it shakes out the same way at any school. Also I was on the lower end of the SES scale and it really didn't bother me. There were plenty of kids to be friends with.

This is why uniforms or a dress code such as Holton, Landon and Sta are so important. There's such a variation in clothing especially for girls and even girls that are wearing sweatpants if the from Lululemon and cause $100 is a big difference in someone buying them at target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a big 3, and my experience was what has been reflected in these comments. No one knew who got financial aid and how much - particularly in lower grades - and everyone was generally friendly (or as friendly as tweens/teens can be to each other) but in the lower grades, where parents dictated the friendships a bit more, it absolutely broke out by SES. Mostly that was very innocuous - it was because the wealthier kids lived in the same upper NW neighborhoods, had parents who worked together, had gone to the same preschools, had siblings at the same school who were also friends, etc. As we got older, it became much less stratified - but by the same token financial differences also became more obvious to us as kids (who had the fancy shoes, the fancy backpack, the fancy purse, etc.). FWIW, I have to imagine it shakes out the same way at any school. Also I was on the lower end of the SES scale and it really didn't bother me. There were plenty of kids to be friends with.

This is why uniforms or a dress code such as Holton, Landon and Sta are so important. There's such a variation in clothing especially for girls and even girls that are wearing sweatpants if the from Lululemon and cause $100 is a big difference in someone buying them at target.

PP you are responding to - I agree that there is value in dress codes/uniforms, but you can still tell who has the hot backpack, or the nice sunglasses, who got a new car for their 16th birthday, and went to Paris for Spring Break. I don't think SES is easy to hide and once kids are older they become more aware of it. The good news is, they also decide their own friendships and stuff like that doesn't matter to a lot of them.

[Anonymous]

By high school parental status really doesn't matter. Our FA kid is best friend with a kid who is from a very wealthy family. They invite him to concerts
And weekends at country houses etc. we invite their son for BBQ in our yard. My
Younger kid
Is extremely social and kids and parents tell me he is considered one of the most popular in the school. He has dozens of friends of every economic status and can't go to all the parties and events he is invited to because he is so busy socially. I really think money only becomes an issue of the patents choose to make it one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By high school parental status really doesn't matter. Our FA kid is best friend with a kid who is from a very wealthy family. They invite him to concerts
And weekends at country houses etc. we invite their son for BBQ in our yard. My
Younger kid
Is extremely social and kids and parents tell me he is considered one of the most popular in the school. He has dozens of friends of every economic status and can't go to all the parties and events he is invited to because he is so busy socially. I really think money only becomes an issue of the patents choose to make it one.

Your son is groomed and has high social IQ. Most financial aid proletariat have no idea how to condition their dull kids for an elite circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By high school parental status really doesn't matter. Our FA kid is best friend with a kid who is from a very wealthy family. They invite him to concerts
And weekends at country houses etc. we invite their son for BBQ in our yard. My
Younger kid
Is extremely social and kids and parents tell me he is considered one of the most popular in the school. He has dozens of friends of every economic status and can't go to all the parties and events he is invited to because he is so busy socially. I really think money only becomes an issue of the patents choose to make it one.

Your son is groomed and has high social IQ. Most financial aid proletariat have no idea how to condition their dull kids for an elite circle.

Your son sounds very charismatic and would probably be a leader in any circle.

[Anonymous]

Younger kids, I believe they don't know or care

Older kids (later middle and high), I don't believe it; it's there, even if below the surface and subtle. Unless you've been there (a non-wealthy kid in a wealthy environment), you probably think that there are no distinctions/differences/it doesn't matter but you're wrong. I guarantee the lower SES kids are intensely aware of their lower SES status and there are subtle exclusions (because you live in a different neighborhood, don't happen to belong to the same club/team/church/temple). Ever read Prep (by Curtis Sittenfeld)? She captured this.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, nobody knows who the financial aid kids are. Nobody ever peaks at the student directory for home addresses...nobody ever stalks kids' parents on LinkedIn or Google...nobody ever asks friends where they live or what their parents do...nobody notes the difference between Eddie's mom's minivan and Suzie's mom's new Range Rover...nobody notices Suzie's instagram is full of exotic trips...nobody notices Eddie is a bit socially immature and lacks polished table manners...nobody notices Eddie wears ho-hum clothes while Suzie wears Hunter boots, Tory Burch flats, etc.

Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

My kids struggled most with the "extras" that made them feel bad... not being able to go to the sleep away soccer clinic at princeton with their friends, relying on getting invited to swim at the pool because we aren't members, not getting to go to nantucket even if invited because we can't afford the plane ticket even though staying there would be free, going to scout camp instead of the fancy ones in maine... then the not having a tutor even though they struggled a bit, not being able to get an evaluation to get extra time (the rich kids do this and a lot of the time its BS to get an advantage, testing is 5k), taking a group SAT prep class and using youtube rather than having the tutor, not having the separate college counselor counselor who makes the application perfect and edits the essays...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
However, the truly mega wealthy people I know (like family money in the billions) don't act this way. They are as subtle as possible with their wealth and seem super comfortable with everyone. Their kids too. It is the show off wealthy that seem to either consciously or subconsciously form their own parental bubble (vacation together, in a supper club together, get Nats tickets together, chair nonprofits together, live near each other), things that usually require time and money, both valuable commodities some FA families don't have. They have the Range Rovers, the LV purse, the Hermes belt, go to Nantucket or the Cape, and somehow make sure you know that. Kids might pick up on that. Some kids before they start K have been hanging with the same group of kids for years because of it so they start off tight knit. But at school I don't think they self segregate based on SES or FA status because most people don't know who has FA.

Forbes says there are only 500 billionaires in the US out of a total population of 325 million people. I am impressed that you know many of those billionaires so well and can attest to their wonderful characters and modest living. None of them could possibly have drug addled children/grandchildren or promote racist conspiracy theories or like flashy ways to show off their wealth. They all possess old-fashioned, middle-class values and enjoy living like regular people - if not for the lack of employment, multiple big houses, and very large personal staff. I heard Warren Buffet loves Dairy Queen! The Donald is a regular junk food addict...This image couldn't possibly be a product of PR to protect their political and economic interests at all.

PP, I don't know WTH axe to grind you've got but I do know about 6 DMV families, and you wouldn't necessarily know they are that wealthy unless you've known them a long time, and they have some breeding, so surprise surprise I guess it's middle class values. I don't know. I don't spend a lot of time getting worked up about it. You on the other hand should do some yoga, you're so wound up you might burst into glitter.

This person was poking fun at you because your post makes it seem like the "billionaires" do not live in expensive neighborhoods, buy nice cars/designer clothes, join country clubs or have their own cliques. Your post is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Every time this question comes up I wonder why does it really matter? In life you will form true bonds of friendship with the people you are meant to be friends with. If that means you don't have friends from other socioeconomic backgrounds so be it. I just don't see why people who aren't wealthy are so concerned with being accepted or befriended by people who are wealthy. To be clear, I get that for kids it can be an issue feeling excluded but I get the impression that most of the time it's about the parents (grown adults) feeling excluded.