Why are parents now expected to help with all their kids' homework?

[Anonymous]

What I found frustrating is, it was only the best teachers who actually looked at the homework. Most did not look, did not correct it, did not care. I find when my kids have good teachers I don't have to do nearly as much at home as when they get duds.

Some homework is needed IMO from 2nd or 3rd on, at least in math, but not busywork like say word study.

I also think we need to calm down with the specials. If your kid is stuck with a bat shit crazy music or art teacher it is a waste of time. Some specials are great, but it's overdone. PE on the other hand should be increased. I completely agree with allowing more time for things like math and frankly these group projects are BS. Yes, it's good to learn to work in a group, but that should be done once things are mastered. It should be an addition not a core part of the curriculum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I NEVER do my kids' homework! I tell everyone involved that homework is my kids' responsibility. I will answer questions or explain things but beyond that my kids are on their own. DH and I have PhD so clearly we finished and passed elementary school. It's their turn now!

Yes, I sometimes wonder if it's the less educated people who help with homework more - but it's a misguided effort.

I can smell the smug and arrogance. Could you be any more obnoxious?

No kidding. I don't even have a college degree so I guess I'm pretty dumb. But even I knew that my role was to help my kids - answer questions, explain things. If there were questions that they were clearly totally lost on or that I couldn't help them with I had my kids put question marks next to them so the teacher would know that they were struggling.

The point is that THEY learn the material. Teacher doesn't care what I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't help my kids with homework. The teachers are getting paid to teach them how to do the work. The kids should then be able to do their homework on their own. I don't remember the last time my kids asked for any help, but it's been years. They are 8th and 9th graders.

There is a big difference between your age kids and K-5/6th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I help my kids for 2-3 hours each night (after a 10 hour workday). 1 hour would be acceptable.

We all do it and don't like it, but accept it. What if parents rallied together at school district meetings and said "this is unacceptable. Find a way to teach our kids better."

As several of you posted, they don't do drills anymore. They don't take time reviewing homework. They don't focus enough on the core skills- they fill the day with nonsense. Our school year is too short compared to the rest of the world (thanks teachers' unions) We have to supplement all summer long.

I'm a teacher and I have seen a lot of blame placed on unions before but this is new. I'm interested in how it is the fault of the unions that our school year isn't longer. To make it longer, they would need to pay to put a/c in all of the schools. Then they would need to come up with more money to pay teachers to work the additional days. Hmmm. Could it be that this is simply too expensive? Parents complain about paying for school supplies for goodness' sake. I doubt they would want their taxes hiked up a lot more for more instructional days.

This! I'm a journalist who covered education for years. The school year isn't longer because it would require an increase in taxes. Teachers would mostly support a longer year.
As a general rule, I agree that way too much homework is being assigned.
My kindergartner grandson received homework before his first full week of classes.

What's wrong with that? We got weekly homework in prek. It took 30-45 minutes per week and reinforced what was going on in school and let me see how my child was doing. 1st grade was maybe an hour, sometimes more weekly with a special project every so often. It starts good study habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I found frustrating is, it was only the best teachers who actually looked at the homework. Most did not look, did not correct it, did not care. I find when my kids have good teachers I don't have to do nearly as much at home as when they get duds.

Some homework is needed IMO from 2nd or 3rd on, at least in math, but not busywork like say word study.

I also think we need to calm down with the specials. If your kid is stuck with a bat shit crazy music or art teacher it is a waste of time. Some specials are great, but it's overdone. PE on the other hand should be increased. I completely agree with allowing more time for things like math and frankly these group projects are BS. Yes, it's good to learn to work in a group, but that should be done once things are mastered. It should be an addition not a core part of the curriculum.

My kid really enjoys the specials but I do agree with you, academics come first as we can do those things at home/after school for activities. I'm not concerned with PE as my kid is only into specific sports so he's not a fan of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I found frustrating is, it was only the best teachers who actually looked at the homework. Most did not look, did not correct it, did not care. I find when my kids have good teachers I don't have to do nearly as much at home as when they get duds.

Some homework is needed IMO from 2nd or 3rd on, at least in math, but not busywork like say word study.

I also think we need to calm down with the specials. If your kid is stuck with a bat shit crazy music or art teacher it is a waste of time. Some specials are great, but it's overdone. PE on the other hand should be increased. I completely agree with allowing more time for things like math and frankly these group projects are BS. Yes, it's good to learn to work in a group, but that should be done once things are mastered. It should be an addition not a core part of the curriculum.

My kid really enjoys the specials but I do agree with you, academics come first as we can do those things at home/after school for activities. I'm not concerned with PE as my kid is only into specific sports so he's not a fan of it.

So you guys want your elementary-aged kid sitting at a desk doing strictly academic work for 7-8 hours a day, 5 days a week? That would convince me to pull mine out and homeschool.

[Anonymous]

They reinforce academics through the specials. Haven't any of your kids learned the Fifty Nifty United States song?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The poorest family we knew when my older DD was in public school was also the most involved in the kids' education. They weren't DCUM poor, but really living in poverty: on public assistance, receiving FARMS, single mom headed family with three kids, one of whom was profoundly disabled and medically fragile. The two older kids were honor roll and perfect attendance all the way through MCPS. The mom had only one semester of community college, but she posted vocabulary words all over their apartment, supervised their homework nightly, reviewed mistakes on graded tests, and learned Spanish when they were in ES so she could help them in middle school. Honestly, I became a more engaged parent starting in primary school because I was embarrassed that she made no excuses for herself or her kids. Today, the two kids without SN are college grads. One has a Master's in Nursing. The other is in a MSW program.

I've found that low income parents generally WANT to be involved in their kids' educations but often can't be. If the parent(s) are working 2-3 jobs &/or the night shift, for instance, it often makes helping their kids with homework impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I found frustrating is, it was only the best teachers who actually looked at the homework. Most did not look, did not correct it, did not care. I find when my kids have good teachers I don't have to do nearly as much at home as when they get duds.

Some homework is needed IMO from 2nd or 3rd on, at least in math, but not busywork like say word study.

I also think we need to calm down with the specials. If your kid is stuck with a bat shit crazy music or art teacher it is a waste of time. Some specials are great, but it's overdone. PE on the other hand should be increased. I completely agree with allowing more time for things like math and frankly these group projects are BS. Yes, it's good to learn to work in a group, but that should be done once things are mastered. It should be an addition not a core part of the curriculum.

My kid really enjoys the specials but I do agree with you, academics come first as we can do those things at home/after school for activities. I'm not concerned with PE as my kid is only into specific sports so he's not a fan of it.

So you guys want your elementary-aged kid sitting at a desk doing strictly academic work for 7-8 hours a day, 5 days a week? That would convince me to pull mine out and homeschool.

No, not at all. I do want more time for things like math-more times for direct instruction, but also fun math games. There should be more time to make sure you are helping kids with their area of weakness. Have more breaks to go outside. Music class was torture for my kid this year because we got the music teacher who seems to hate children. There were weekly quizzes too. Bleck. If you are going to ruin the arts then don't force kids to take these classes twice a week. I want my kid to see specials as a place for creative expression and enjoyment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I help my kids for 2-3 hours each night (after a 10 hour workday). 1 hour would be acceptable.

We all do it and don't like it, but accept it. What if parents rallied together at school district meetings and said "this is unacceptable. Find a way to teach our kids better."

As several of you posted, they don't do drills anymore. They don't take time reviewing homework. They don't focus enough on the core skills- they fill the day with nonsense. Our school year is too short compared to the rest of the world (thanks teachers' unions) We have to supplement all summer long.

I'm a teacher and I have seen a lot of blame placed on unions before but this is new. I'm interested in how it is the fault of the unions that our school year isn't longer. To make it longer, they would need to pay to put a/c in all of the schools. Then they would need to come up with more money to pay teachers to work the additional days. Hmmm. Could it be that this is simply too expensive? Parents complain about paying for school supplies for goodness' sake. I doubt they would want their taxes hiked up a lot more for more instructional days.

This! I'm a journalist who covered education for years. The school year isn't longer because it would require an increase in taxes. Teachers would mostly support a longer year.
As a general rule, I agree that way too much homework is being assigned.
My kindergartner grandson received homework before his first full week of classes.

What's wrong with that? We got weekly homework in prek. It took 30-45 minutes per week and reinforced what was going on in school and let me see how my child was doing. 1st grade was maybe an hour, sometimes more weekly with a special project every so often. It starts good study habits.

WRONG. It can cause power struggles and discourage kids from enjoying school. Zero benefits.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I cannot imagine not teaching my kids at home. How would you know if they are struggling with something?

I am a SAHM and my job is to make sure that their educational needs are met fully. However great a school is, my kids will never have a PhD teacher giving them one on one attention, like I do. I am their mom and not motivated by a salary or fees. I want them to be very well educated and see my role as to accelerate and enrich their learning. I am not home schooling and my kids go to public schools in magnet programs, but I still enrich at home. I actually love what I do and my kids enjoy how I teach. I am also very involved in the school for PTA and classroom activities. [/quote]

Your "job" is to teach them academic content?

That's not how I define being a parent. SAHM or otherwise.

My "job" as a parent is to support my kids' growth and development. Physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and yes, academic.

For me, the key word there is "support." Not "accelerate".

The distinction is not a matter of semantics. It highlights the issue of agency.

Who is driving the learning? Your child or you? By managing your child's learning at the level you describe, what space are you leaving for them to discover their own INTERNAL motivation and drive? Or the thrill of discovering an academic interest or passion on their own for its own sake, not to meet your definition of "accelerated" learning.

When I read your post above, it makes me wonder if you are conflating your needs and sense of purpose (teaching/imparting/molding/shaping) with your children's needs (growth/discovery/autonomy/achievement).

You may want those very same things for them, but I question whether you are the right person to take primary responsibility. Not because you're technically unqualified. But because you are the patent and should be leaving them plenty of space to be reasonable for their own learning.

If you're interested in learning more, I highly recommend Wendy Grolnick's book, "How Well-Meaning Parenting Backfires," and the 30+ years of research around "Self-Determination Theory". Powerful stuff!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand WHY a parent would not help and review the homework. Its part of parenting. If you don't want to help, then don't. That's pretty sad for your child that you cannot be involved with their education.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand WHY a parent would not help and review the homework. Its part of parenting. If you don't want to help, then don't. That's pretty sad for your child that you cannot be involved with their education.

+1

It cuts into their time on DCUM or sexting their AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They reinforce academics through the specials. Haven't any of your kids learned the Fifty Nifty United States song?

Lol!! Yes!! My kids were singing that CONSTANTLY last year.

But seriously art & music education are so important!! What a shame to do away with them in favor of two hours each of math & reading! Kids would hate school so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I help my kids for 2-3 hours each night (after a 10 hour workday). 1 hour would be acceptable.

We all do it and don't like it, but accept it. What if parents rallied together at school district meetings and said "this is unacceptable. Find a way to teach our kids better."

As several of you posted, they don't do drills anymore. They don't take time reviewing homework. They don't focus enough on the core skills- they fill the day with nonsense. Our school year is too short compared to the rest of the world (thanks teachers' unions) We have to supplement all summer long.

I'm a teacher and I have seen a lot of blame placed on unions before but this is new. I'm interested in how it is the fault of the unions that our school year isn't longer. To make it longer, they would need to pay to put a/c in all of the schools. Then they would need to come up with more money to pay teachers to work the additional days. Hmmm. Could it be that this is simply too expensive? Parents complain about paying for school supplies for goodness' sake. I doubt they would want their taxes hiked up a lot more for more instructional days.

This! I'm a journalist who covered education for years. The school year isn't longer because it would require an increase in taxes. Teachers would mostly support a longer year.
As a general rule, I agree that way too much homework is being assigned.
My kindergartner grandson received homework before his first full week of classes.

What's wrong with that? We got weekly homework in prek. It took 30-45 minutes per week and reinforced what was going on in school and let me see how my child was doing. 1st grade was maybe an hour, sometimes more weekly with a special project every so often. It starts good study habits.

WRONG. It can cause power struggles and discourage kids from enjoying school. Zero benefits.

We don't have power struggles. We have a set routine and it gets done. Maybe how you are approaching it and your attitude is the issue. We have a snack and sit down together and get it done.