Why are parents now expected to help with all their kids' homework?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I think you need to prepare your children for real life, and that includes the fact that the majority of people don't *LOVE* what they do. I don't hate what I do, but I don't exactly love it. It's not my passion. Very few people get to do what they love and earn a good living from it.

If you don't prepare your kids for this reality, they will be hugely disappointed. I tell my kids that real life is hard and to live the way we do is expensive. I *never* discourage them from chasing their dreams, but I let them know the realities of life. If they are happy to chase their dream, but not be able to afford a certain way of living, then I won't discourage them. But, they should know what real life is like, and then make their decisions. Otherwise, I've failed as a parent to prepare them for real life. Obviously, you teach them this not at the age of 5, but certainly, as they get older.

For early ES, doing 5 or 10min. of HW is not going to kill them. I think if a parent expects it to be perfect, then yes, that's probably not the way to do it. But, instilling the importance of learning and school is something that can be re-enforced by letting them know that HW is important.

OMG! I love you. You make too much sense to be posting here.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It merely penalizes poor kids whose parents work odd hours or don't have it together. It's profoundly immoral because it immediately creates an academic self-image of failure for poor kids.

If you read the previous posts I don't get the impression that the people not helping with homework are poor. It seems to be quite the opposite.

You're using DCUM as your sample. Sure, there are people here not helping by choice, but the reality is if DCUM parents (who have resources and know the material) are struggling with the time it takes to help kids with homework, imagine how people who are poor are struggling (either because they don't have the time or they don't know the material).

So while it inconveniences DCUM parents, it penalizes the poor parents who aren't on DCUM.

It also penalizes parents who don't have computers or internet access, so they nor their kids can even search for help online.

I wasn't disparaging low-income people. I was explaining how homework penalizes the poor (or impacts them) more than the middle and upper class people. For DCUM people, it's an inconvenience. For lower-income people (who have to go to the library to access internet or who are working long, late hours), it's far more than an inconvenience. Sometimes, it's an impossibility (especially if they don't know the material, as was the case with a child I tutored in college whose mother didn't know long division and couldn't help with the homework).



What does this have to do with rich vs. poor? Is that everything to you? I know plenty of lower income parents who are far more involved than the "rich" ones. Many lower income have internet access and computers. Many organizations collect and give out computers for free. There are low income programs to get internet, and plenty of places to get it. If anything, they may have to put more effort into helping their kids, which speaks volumes of their parenting. A parent who is financially comfortable who refuses to help their kids, supplement or participate in their child's education, well that speaks volumes on the type of person they are. If you don't have time, then you need to rearrange your schedule to make your kids a priority. Too many kids, well, stop having them if you cannot handle the ones you have.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My K child never had homework last year.

That said, I absolutely had homework as a kid in the DMV from 1st on up. By about mid first grade, your child should be able to read most of the instructions. That said, helping a child with homework is something you need to be prepared for from now until they graduate. This was always the norm around here, and I never knew anyone whose parents made excuses not to.

By about 9th grade the math curriculum will have surpassed my current math capabilities. I went to RM and took B/C Calc my senior year. That was some 25 years ago. I haven't used it since. No way will I be able to help my HS Senior with that homework. I also took AP Chem--couldn't calculate a mole today if my life depended on it. That thermal dynamics I learned in AP physics--nope, can't help you there either. I could read an english or history essay for substance and grammar though.

My parents did not help me with my homework in HS. If I didn't understand a concept, it was my responsibility to let the teacher know and schedule time to review the material with them. If that meant missing lunch, that's what I did or if I had to miss PE to sit through the class lecture again, then I did. But counting on mom and dad to explain those concepts was not an option.

This is interesting, if inadvertent, commentary on the usefulness (or lack thereof) of a lot of what we learned (or rather briefly memorized in many cases) in school.

Actually, I think she learned a lot - she learned how to get her work done independently and without mommy and daddy.

That can be learned in the process of learning things that will actually be useful in her life. Not all the stuff that we (adults) forgot and didn't use, and that they will have the same experience with also. That was the point being made.

[Anonymous]

I'll help my kids to figure out how to do their homework. You continue not to helpthem. Let's see who comes out ahead in the rat race.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Homework sucks! They go to school for 7 hours. Isn't that enough to learn something. High school homework is ridiculous and my kids barely sleep.

kids in other countries work harder. Your kid will be competing with these kids for jobs.

Yes, they're all competing, but mostly for jobs they will hate (just like their schoolwork) and that will probably be automated before too long anyway. Noone really wins that way.

Another way is to prepare children to be independent, adaptable and creative thinkers who work well with others but don't simply follow the herd, and who will be equipped to find their niche and confidently use their unique strengths to create a better world for themselves and for others.

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