Why are parents now expected to help with all their kids' homework?
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Anonymous
| I NEVER do my kids' homework! I tell everyone involved that homework is my kids' responsibility. I will answer questions or explain things but beyond that my kids are on their own. DH and I have PhD so clearly we finished and passed elementary school. It's their turn now! |
Anonymous
This. This is very important. I had my son do his book report (2nd grade) by himself. I felt it was important for me to tell the teacher that I was letting him do it completely on his own. She said good and that she wouldn't tell the other parents that she wanted them to let the kids do it themselves. I think that it should be an automatic that kids try to do it on their own. That's how you learn. |
Anonymous
It's THEIR homework. They're learning nothing if you are 'helping'. By helping you are basically using your brain to problem solve for them instead of using their own. The only thing you are doing is 'helping' your elementary school aged kid get good grades (which is ridiculous) and teaching them to be dependent on you. In aver helped my kids (unless they asked -which was never) and they are now self sufficient high schoolers who are doing very well in school. Also, they test very high on standardized tests in part, I think, to the years of doing their own homework and developing their own critical thinking skills. |
Anonymous
Yes, I sometimes wonder if it's the less educated people who help with homework more - but it's a misguided effort. |
Anonymous
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I just opened a website for the elementary school I attended from 1985-93 and school website that my kid attends in DC. Found a class schedules for all 9 grades back at home, but can't find one from DC school website. Not only did I find the subject for each class, I found the times too. School starts 8:15 end each class lasts 45 minutes. Recess or we call them breaks last 10 minutes between each class. There is a longer break for lunch that lasts 20 minutes. on 3 days the 1st graders (7 y olds) have only 4 classes (done by 11:55 am), on 2 days they have 5 classes. Subjects- mother tongue, math, music, PE, art, computers. Mother tongue and math are clearly the main subjects with others just filling time.
Tell you the truth I've never seen a class schedule or even a book they use here. I have no idea what they study and when or when is the recess. I also have been asking about textbooks but he never brings one home. I know the website for the textbooks back at home. School here is one big mystery for me. I don't know what my 3rd grader learned last year. I do know what he didn't learn though. He didn't learn cursive, so I taught him to write cursive in 2 days. I also know that he doesn't know his multiplication tables by heart which I expected him to know by the end of 3d grade. I really don't know what he does in school from 8:45 to 3:15. He is in school a lot longer than kids same age back at home (Northern Europe). Our summer break is little over 3 months long but I think there are more holidays here when school is closed. When it comes to homework, I can only speak about my own experience from 30 years ago. We had homework on 2nd day of school. We had to memorize a poem that had 6 lines with 3 words in each line. I still remember by heart the first 5 poems we had to memorize. We were not expected to know our letters even at 7 years old. We learned our letter in grade 1 and boy we were ready. Homework was usually done independently. I only asked my parents if I had forgot how to do it. The teacher sure had explained, but by the time I got home, I had forgot. With little help from parents and I was usually able to do my homework. We did not have worksheets with multiple choice answers nor any projects in early elementary school. We memorized a lot of poems and retold stories. I remember having to think about the story in my poems to help me memorize them. We also kept a reading journal in 2nd grade. My 3rd grader has never had to memorize a poem in a few days. They do sing sometimes in school functions, but all together and I think he just moves his mouth. I do however think that he knows a lot more than I did at his age since information is available to him on the net, in many books and on tv. I wonder if what he learns at school or reads is going to help him in life or it's just too much useless information. I didn't help him with his homework and I didn't even meet his teachers last 2 years. School days are much longer here than back at home, but that clearly doesn't mean that the kids here know more. Not sure if Pisa test is multiple choice or not, but kids back at home are often in top 10. IMHO there is nothing wrong with some homework starting 2nd grade or so, but it seems to be all worksheets or projects. Where is the story they all have to read at night and can discuss in class the next day? Where are the textbooks? I've felt like in US things kids learn at school are very random. Well, the worksheets have been at least. Where is the order of studying things? Here kids skip Spanish because they already have the credits. You don't skip a language or any other subjects. There's a start and then there's the end. There are no breaks but the summer break. I'll meet his teacher this year... |
Anonymous
Yes. That is nuts. |
Anonymous
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This is all sad to me. Research has shown that homework is not only ineffective in elementary school l, it can actually have a negative impact on learning and attitudes about school. There is no need for be in elementary beyond reading at night a book you chose and perhaps math facts. Seriously. More is not better! I think teachers would be more on board of later a were more on board, and parents would be on board if more teachers were. It is sad what we are doing to kids and families with this homework. It will not help us raise global citizens ready to work with others. There are so many great articles and studies about this. Kids, parents and families deserve better.
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Anonymous
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Excuse typos. On phone
There would be more teachers on board if parents were ok with no homwork, and vice versa. The time it sounds like some families spend on homework is tremendous and at what cost? |
Anonymous
And this is exactly what every teacher my kids have had always said about homework. That's why I don't get how OP and others find it so time consuming. Seriously it takes 30 seconds out of your life to read directions on a worksheet. The only exception to this is for kids with special needs. But that's not what's being discussed. |
Anonymous
+1 With a parent/teacher conference to discuss it so we all understand where the other is coming from. This has not been a problem for us so far. The teachers have understood our perspective. Which is this: We want our children to take responsibility for their learning. We want them to be curious and internally motivated to learn and to do their best. To us, this starts from the very beginning. Their school work is THEIRS. It's not ours. Therefore, their learning and their achievments are THEIRS. Not ours. Of course, if they are truly struggling to learn the material, we we help them get help. And we will support and encourage them to persist through challenges and figure out new strategies for learning. We will even step in to help with a specific issue when it's truly vexing to them. But WE WILL NOT DO THEIR HOMEWORK WITH THEM or FOR THEM. If an assignment is too challenging for them, we want them to do their best and then communicate that to the teacher. We want them to learn to speak up -- not just to us -- but to their teacher so they can get help if they need it. So far, it's working beautifully. Our kids are doing well in school and are both self-motivated and fairly independent when it comes to their school work. Fingers crossed this continues!! |
Anonymous
You're using DCUM as your sample. Sure, there are people here not helping by choice, but the reality is if DCUM parents (who have resources and know the material) are struggling with the time it takes to help kids with homework, imagine how people who are poor are struggling (either because they don't have the time or they don't know the material). So while it inconveniences DCUM parents, it penalizes the poor parents who aren't on DCUM. It also penalizes parents who don't have computers or internet access, so they nor their kids can even search for help online. |
Anonymous
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There has been no grade where I have felt that the homework was too much for my kids. Infact I always feel that my kids have had less instruction at school and less homework at home.
But, my schooling has been in another country so I am informed by what I was taught and what the students in my home country are still being taught. |
Anonymous
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I cannot imagine not teaching my kids at home. How would you know if they are struggling with something?
I am a SAHM and my job is to make sure that their educational needs are met fully. However great a school is, my kids will never have a PhD teacher giving them one on one attention, like I do. I am their mom and not motivated by a salary or fees. I want them to be very well educated and see my role as to accelerate and enrich their learning. I am not home schooling and my kids go to public schools in magnet programs, but I still enrich at home. I actually love what I do and my kids enjoy how I teach. I am also very involved in the school for PTA and classroom activities. |
Anonymous
| Projects! What bothers me the most is when there is a disconnect between what a student can do and what the assignment asks for. I feel uneasy that the teacher doesn't know, is not educated, in child development. And that calls into question the teacher's basic competence. |
Anonymous
| I felt like my DS hardly had any HW in ES. One math sheet with 6 questions and most of them were mental math or estimating. There was no real "show your work." Reading for 20 mins. He is going to MS this year and I have a feeling the HW will be a shock. |