Reply to Why are parents now expected to help with all their kids' homework?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I cannot imagine not teaching my kids at home. How would you know if they are struggling with something?

I am a SAHM and my job is to make sure that their educational needs are met fully.  However great a school is, my kids  will never have a PhD teacher giving them one on one attention, like I do.   I am their mom and not motivated by a salary or fees.  I want them to be very well educated and see my role as to accelerate and enrich their learning.  I am not home schooling and my kids go to public schools in magnet programs, but I still enrich at home.  I actually love what I do and my kids enjoy how I teach. I am also very involved in the school for PTA and classroom activities.  [/quote]

Your "job" is to teach them academic content?

That's not how I define being a parent. SAHM or otherwise.

My "job" as a parent is to support my kids' growth and development. Physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and yes, academic.

For me, the key word there is "support." Not "accelerate".

The distinction is not a matter of semantics. It highlights the issue of agency.

Who is driving the learning?  Your child or you? By managing your child's learning at the level you describe, what space are you leaving for them to discover their own INTERNAL motivation and drive?  Or the thrill of discovering an academic interest or passion on their own for its own sake, not to meet your definition of "accelerated" learning.

When I read your post above, it makes me wonder if you are conflating your needs and sense of purpose (teaching/imparting/molding/shaping) with your children's needs (growth/discovery/autonomy/achievement).

You may want those very same things for them, but I question whether you are the right person to take primary responsibility. Not because you're technically unqualified. But because you are the patent and should be leaving them plenty of space to be reasonable for their own learning.

If you're interested in learning more, I highly recommend Wendy Grolnick's book, "How Well-Meaning Parenting Backfires," and the 30+ years of research around "Self-Determination Theory". Powerful stuff!
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