Why are parents now expected to help with all their kids' homework?

[Anonymous]

It merely penalizes poor kids whose parents work odd hours or don't have it together. It's profoundly immoral because it immediately creates an academic self-image of failure for poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand WHY a parent would not help and review the homework. Its part of parenting. If you don't want to help, then don't. That's pretty sad for your child that you cannot be involved with their education.

Homework should be a reinforcement of concepts learned in school. If it's reinforcement, then my child already knows the basic strategies of what's being asked of him or her. In which case, they are able to complete the assignment on their own and I'm happy to review it.

It's when my child says I don't understand this or We didn't do this in school yet that I get frustrated. Maybe my child is lying and they did cover the material in class. But over the years, she has demonstrated that when she can do the homework assignment, she will do it. If my child can't do the homework assignment, then it wasn't taught to my child in a way that she understands. If she doesn't understand it now, she won't understand it when it's time to demonstrate her understanding on the all important tests. By not doing her homework for her, we are telling the teacher that my child needs help in this area.

By not doing it, sends the wrong message to your child. Oh, its too hard, no problem, don't do it. Or, mom or dad is so busy, they don't have the time to help you. The teacher is not going to stop and teach your one child till they get it. They keep going and your child gets more behind and lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It merely penalizes poor kids whose parents work odd hours or don't have it together. It's profoundly immoral because it immediately creates an academic self-image of failure for poor kids.

OP, is not poor nor are her kids. It sounds more like the wealthy parents are not willing to help. Why is this about rich or poor? OP has a good job and one assumes her husband does too or she's getting child support. It penalizes the lazy parents who don't put their kids needs first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Global competition from kids who work harder than our's.

Nope, I don't buy it. My kids' school day only has 1.5 hours of reading/English and math, the rest is fluff. 1st-3rd grade doesn't need music, art, science (not real science), and social studies EVERY DAY. If I have to do 1 more diorama, I'll scream. If they were teaching more reading, writing and math at an early age, we would be globally competitive. Math doesn't even use timed tests or drills anymore to learn math facts, so we do it for an 1-2 hours at home every night.

totally agree. spend 4 hrs a day on serious math and English, 2 hrs for lunch and recess, and after school care can be for music and art.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and a mom of two. I teach high school and am also annoyed with the elementary homework that comes home. Last year I stopped helping my 2nd grader. Try what he can for a little while I was making dinner and that's it. If he didn't get to all of it or did it completely wrong we sent it back anyway. I never heard a thing. I believe homework is meaningless at such a young age.

I do the same. I'm not doing anyone any favors by working with child to make sure the homework is correct when the teacher needs to know that in fact child didn't understand it well enough to do it independently.

Same here. We've been pretty lucky that our kids' school have not IMO overburdened them with homework. In ES teachers generally kept to the district recommendations and I just had to check that it was done. If it took too long or they didn't understand it, it was sent back to the teacher with a note about that. Now in MS my kids are able to do nearly all their MS homework. I'll quiz them when they are studying for a test and have occasionally helped with printing stuff but that's it. That's about the level of involvement my parents had with my homework too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand WHY a parent would not help and review the homework. Its part of parenting. If you don't want to help, then don't. That's pretty sad for your child that you cannot be involved with their education.

Homework should be a reinforcement of concepts learned in school. If it's reinforcement, then my child already knows the basic strategies of what's being asked of him or her. In which case, they are able to complete the assignment on their own and I'm happy to review it.

It's when my child says I don't understand this or We didn't do this in school yet that I get frustrated. Maybe my child is lying and they did cover the material in class. But over the years, she has demonstrated that when she can do the homework assignment, she will do it. If my child can't do the homework assignment, then it wasn't taught to my child in a way that she understands. If she doesn't understand it now, she won't understand it when it's time to demonstrate her understanding on the all important tests. By not doing her homework for her, we are telling the teacher that my child needs help in this area.

By not doing it, sends the wrong message to your child. Oh, its too hard, no problem, don't do it. Or, mom or dad is so busy, they don't have the time to help you. The teacher is not going to stop and teach your one child till they get it. They keep going and your child gets more behind and lost.

Actually, my children's teachers will do that. And I guarantee that if my child didn't understand it then others in the class did not understand it either so the teacher should go back and review.

[Anonymous]

I'm willing to help, but there's also no textbooks and no exemplars. I know how to add and subtract. But then we get a worksheet home that says "using the stick method, solve the following problems". My kid is totally confused, and I can't help I can show him how to actually do the math (stack and carry/borrow if necessary), but the he says , no that's not how you do it and starts drawing sticks and circles all over the place.

This is all fine, but he's entering third grade and still has to compute the most basic problems and can't actually get the right answer.

And then there are the things that expect four trips to Michaels to finish the assignment. Um, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It merely penalizes poor kids whose parents work odd hours or don't have it together. It's profoundly immoral because it immediately creates an academic self-image of failure for poor kids.

OP, is not poor nor are her kids. It sounds more like the wealthy parents are not willing to help. Why is this about rich or poor? OP has a good job and one assumes her husband does too or she's getting child support. It penalizes the lazy parents who don't put their kids needs first.

I think the pp is speaking generally. If you are a parent that has to work in the evening, then your kid is at a disadvantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand WHY a parent would not help and review the homework. Its part of parenting. If you don't want to help, then don't. That's pretty sad for your child that you cannot be involved with their education.

I don't think early elementary kids should have homework.

I want my kids to be independent. Including reviewing their own hw.

You can be involved without doing your kids homework.

[Anonymous]

My K child never had homework last year.

That said, I absolutely had homework as a kid in the DMV from 1st on up. By about mid first grade, your child should be able to read most of the instructions. That said, helping a child with homework is something you need to be prepared for from now until they graduate. This was always the norm around here, and I never knew anyone whose parents made excuses not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand WHY a parent would not help and review the homework. Its part of parenting. If you don't want to help, then don't. That's pretty sad for your child that you cannot be involved with their education.

Homework should be a reinforcement of concepts learned in school. If it's reinforcement, then my child already knows the basic strategies of what's being asked of him or her. In which case, they are able to complete the assignment on their own and I'm happy to review it.

It's when my child says I don't understand this or We didn't do this in school yet that I get frustrated. Maybe my child is lying and they did cover the material in class. But over the years, she has demonstrated that when she can do the homework assignment, she will do it. If my child can't do the homework assignment, then it wasn't taught to my child in a way that she understands. If she doesn't understand it now, she won't understand it when it's time to demonstrate her understanding on the all important tests. By not doing her homework for her, we are telling the teacher that my child needs help in this area.

By not doing it, sends the wrong message to your child. Oh, its too hard, no problem, don't do it. Or, mom or dad is so busy, they don't have the time to help you. The teacher is not going to stop and teach your one child till they get it. They keep going and your child gets more behind and lost.

Actually, my children's teachers will do that. And I guarantee that if my child didn't understand it then others in the class did not understand it either so the teacher should go back and review.

Nice humble brag about how smart your kid is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and a mom of two. I teach high school and am also annoyed with the elementary homework that comes home. Last year I stopped helping my 2nd grader. Try what he can for a little while I was making dinner and that's it. If he didn't get to all of it or did it completely wrong we sent it back anyway. I never heard a thing. I believe homework is meaningless at such a young age.

If teachers did a better job at teaching and the school came up with a better curriculum, then homework might be meaningless. We find it helps teach what is being taught poorly at school and we supplement as the schools do not do enough with the foundation work, such as basic handwriting.

Supplement if you feel it benefits your children but I prefer to spend our evenings letting them enjoy sports, other activities and just having down time. I don't feel like things are being taught poorly and I am sticking with homework does not benefit children in elementary school. It is different if they need remediation. I certainly hope parents do not need to help my high school students with homework.

[Anonymous]

Our school is very clear that they expect elementary parents to be involved in homework. We are supposed to help kids correct mistakes and then write the teacher a note to explain any problems the kids are having with the work. While I would be perfectly fine if they waited until later elememtary to assign homework, I do think it is my job as a parent to be involved in this sort of thing. You really do have to plan for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so damn irritated that managing and helping with my kids' homework has now become my 2nd full-time job.

When did it become acceptable to give kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade kids homework that they can not possibly do on their own?

Do they expect a 5 or 6 year old to read complicated instructions on their own?

How come I get a sheet or 2 every day with Parent marked at the top?

And middle school is now like what I experienced in high school? my 6th grader got 2 150 pg books on first day of school to read, and book reports are due Monday. They haven't yet taught typing, and she has limited experience. I guess Mom is also supposed to teach kids to type too. We already have the math tutor and learning center, because they don't teach that well enough in school.

Teachers need to lay off. or push back on Administration that there's no way in hell, kids can pass these ludicrous tests without full-time parent involvement from 4pm-9pm daily.

Teachers- would it be acceptable if when these parent sheets came home, if I simply write "I have a full-time job and 4 kids. I opt out of homework."

Seriously, my mom NEVER did homework or study with me, and I'm in Senior Management. What the hell is going on these days?!?

Why did you have 4 kids if it is too much work for you? If it is too much, ask the teacher how much homework counts as part of the grade. Usually, homework in the early grades isn't counted at all so you may be off the hook. It started counting for 15% when my DS started 3rd grade. Even then, it was counted as completed or not completed. It was an easy 100% IMO. They would go over most of the homework in class the next day. So even if they got it all wrong, they still got a 100% for completion. By MS, your child should be able to type even if it is hunt and peck (I took typing in HS on manual typewriters. The kind where the keys are constantly sticking. I still type hunt and peck and I manage). I think there is a free online typing program for kids that your child can do in the summer. I'll look up the name of it. So, talk to the teacher, find out how much the homework is worth and if it isn't counted, don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our school is very clear that they expect elementary parents to be involved in homework. We are supposed to help kids correct mistakes and then write the teacher a note to explain any problems the kids are having with the work. While I would be perfectly fine if they waited until later elememtary to assign homework, I do think it is my job as a parent to be involved in this sort of thing. You really do have to plan for it.

That's fine. But then provide me with a textbook or other teaching material so I know what was explained to my kid and can explain it again. I don't want to confuse my child if I don't know how somethinging is taught. There really needs to be a set curriculum across the state with learning materials and not just the assessments that are sent home. So I know that in first half of grade one my kid is supposed to learn such and such method of subtracting and such and such method of reading comprehension.