how many of us have a mother or MIL who never worked outside the home in her lifetime?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did she not raise the fine man that you are married to?

No, but she hired the best nanny that money could buy.

Then she had the good sense to hire a freakin' fantastic nanny. You really do not want to give this lady credit for any part of raising her son? Is that true?

+1 you seem to be looking hard for a reason to put your MIL down.

[Anonymous]

Now I have to look for the thread that was locked ? While I wait for this one to be buried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:RE: how many of us have a mother or MIL who never worked outside the home in her lifetime?

It's such different world than raising kids 30 years ago. In our case my mother stayed home and my MIL pretty much stayed home but taught ESOL (def not called that in the 1980s) part-time.

We have two small kids. I have found that the BIGGEST CHANGE between the generations are with the FATHERS. Fathers in America have to be way more involved in parenting and running a household than "back in the day." An educated, career-oriented wife would not put up with the likes of DH and the kids being waited on 24/7.

The problem is not Grandma wasn't working full-time, it is Grandpa not being a 2016 role-model husband or father. So unless your DH speaks with a range of peers, co-workers, cousins, siblings on how to work out managing a household in this day and age, his father figure won't be of much help. Could even be a huge negative, depending on how clueless your DH is.

Another big difference, too is that our mothers and grandmothers who didn't work outside the home were considered "housewives"; now those who don't work outside the home are "SAHMs." If a woman doesn't have children, then it's just assumed that she'll work.

[Anonymous]

My MIL left an abusive home at 17 to work 3rd shift in a factory while she earned a teaching degree. She then worked as a teacher until she retired.

My mom was a diabetes researcher until she retired and became an accomplished artist with her own solo gallery shows. She is still doing that. She had 3 sisters who never worked at all, nor did her mother. They thought and still think she is kind of a brainy, eccentric freak, and a weirdo who doesn't care enough about her looks. I guess all of that is true, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:RE: how many of us have a mother or MIL who never worked outside the home in her lifetime?

It's such different world than raising kids 30 years ago. In our case my mother stayed home and my MIL pretty much stayed home but taught ESOL (def not called that in the 1980s) part-time.

We have two small kids. I have found that the BIGGEST CHANGE between the generations are with the FATHERS. Fathers in America have to be way more involved in parenting and running a household than "back in the day." An educated, career-oriented wife would not put up with the likes of DH and the kids being waited on 24/7.

The problem is not Grandma wasn't working full-time, it is Grandpa not being a 2016 role-model husband or father. So unless your DH speaks with a range of peers, co-workers, cousins, siblings on how to work out managing a household in this day and age, his father figure won't be of much help. Could even be a huge negative, depending on how clueless your DH is.

Another big difference, too is that our mothers and grandmothers who didn't work outside the home were considered "housewives"; now those who don't work outside the home are "SAHMs." If a woman doesn't have children, then it's just assumed that she'll work.

It's good to be a productive member of society, but that could mean many things. What if someone never had a paying job, but they were a kick-ass volunteer? Still good.

[Anonymous]

Some of these stories make me want to meet your moms or grandmas, LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:RE: how many of us have a mother or MIL who never worked outside the home in her lifetime?

It's such different world than raising kids 30 years ago. In our case my mother stayed home and my MIL pretty much stayed home but taught ESOL (def not called that in the 1980s) part-time.

We have two small kids. I have found that the BIGGEST CHANGE between the generations are with the FATHERS. Fathers in America have to be way more involved in parenting and running a household than "back in the day." An educated, career-oriented wife would not put up with the likes of DH and the kids being waited on 24/7.

The problem is not Grandma wasn't working full-time, it is Grandpa not being a 2016 role-model husband or father. So unless your DH speaks with a range of peers, co-workers, cousins, siblings on how to work out managing a household in this day and age, his father figure won't be of much help. Could even be a huge negative, depending on how clueless your DH is.

Another big difference, too is that our mothers and grandmothers who didn't work outside the home were considered "housewives"; now those who don't work outside the home are "SAHMs." If a woman doesn't have children, then it's just assumed that she'll work.

It's good to be a productive member of society, but that could mean many things. What if someone never had a paying job, but they were a kick-ass volunteer? Still good.

Agreed. I'm PP, as well as the PP who posted much earlier on that I work part-time, but really appreciate all the SAHMs in our community who volunteer tons of time at school and for community programs. Their efforts make a huge difference. It's a shame that some other moms can't fully appreciate that contribution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:RE: how many of us have a mother or MIL who never worked outside the home in her lifetime?

It's such different world than raising kids 30 years ago. In our case my mother stayed home and my MIL pretty much stayed home but taught ESOL (def not called that in the 1980s) part-time.

We have two small kids. I have found that the BIGGEST CHANGE between the generations are with the FATHERS. Fathers in America have to be way more involved in parenting and running a household than "back in the day." An educated, career-oriented wife would not put up with the likes of DH and the kids being waited on 24/7.

The problem is not Grandma wasn't working full-time, it is Grandpa not being a 2016 role-model husband or father. So unless your DH speaks with a range of peers, co-workers, cousins, siblings on how to work out managing a household in this day and age, his father figure won't be of much help. Could even be a huge negative, depending on how clueless your DH is.

Another big difference, too is that our mothers and grandmothers who didn't work outside the home were considered "housewives"; now those who don't work outside the home are "SAHMs." If a woman doesn't have children, then it's just assumed that she'll work.

It's good to be a productive member of society, but that could mean many things. What if someone never had a paying job, but they were a kick-ass volunteer? Still good.

Agreed. I'm PP, as well as the PP who posted much earlier on that I work part-time, but really appreciate all the SAHMs in our community who volunteer tons of time at school and for community programs. Their efforts make a huge difference. It's a shame that some other moms can't fully appreciate that contribution.

I would hope you would appreciate all of the people -- moms, dads, nonparents, working parents, retired people -- who volunteer. I have not observed in any of my kids schools or in the community that SAHMs do the majority of the volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:RE: how many of us have a mother or MIL who never worked outside the home in her lifetime?

It's such different world than raising kids 30 years ago. In our case my mother stayed home and my MIL pretty much stayed home but taught ESOL (def not called that in the 1980s) part-time.

We have two small kids. I have found that the BIGGEST CHANGE between the generations are with the FATHERS. Fathers in America have to be way more involved in parenting and running a household than "back in the day." An educated, career-oriented wife would not put up with the likes of DH and the kids being waited on 24/7.

The problem is not Grandma wasn't working full-time, it is Grandpa not being a 2016 role-model husband or father. So unless your DH speaks with a range of peers, co-workers, cousins, siblings on how to work out managing a household in this day and age, his father figure won't be of much help. Could even be a huge negative, depending on how clueless your DH is.

Another big difference, too is that our mothers and grandmothers who didn't work outside the home were considered "housewives"; now those who don't work outside the home are "SAHMs." If a woman doesn't have children, then it's just assumed that she'll work.

It's good to be a productive member of society, but that could mean many things. What if someone never had a paying job, but they were a kick-ass volunteer? Still good.

Agreed. I'm PP, as well as the PP who posted much earlier on that I work part-time, but really appreciate all the SAHMs in our community who volunteer tons of time at school and for community programs. Their efforts make a huge difference. It's a shame that some other moms can't fully appreciate that contribution.

I would hope you would appreciate all of the people -- moms, dads, nonparents, working parents, retired people -- who volunteer. I have not observed in any of my kids schools or in the community that SAHMs do the majority of the volunteering.

I think today's 55-85 yo grandparents are shocked at how busy today's mothers and fathers are, whether they both work FT or not. House, kids, work, sports, social, travel, investing, volunteering, church/temple, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:RE: how many of us have a mother or MIL who never worked outside the home in her lifetime?

It's such different world than raising kids 30 years ago. In our case my mother stayed home and my MIL pretty much stayed home but taught ESOL (def not called that in the 1980s) part-time.

We have two small kids. I have found that the BIGGEST CHANGE between the generations are with the FATHERS. Fathers in America have to be way more involved in parenting and running a household than "back in the day." An educated, career-oriented wife would not put up with the likes of DH and the kids being waited on 24/7.

The problem is not Grandma wasn't working full-time, it is Grandpa not being a 2016 role-model husband or father. So unless your DH speaks with a range of peers, co-workers, cousins, siblings on how to work out managing a household in this day and age, his father figure won't be of much help. Could even be a huge negative, depending on how clueless your DH is.

Another big difference, too is that our mothers and grandmothers who didn't work outside the home were considered "housewives"; now those who don't work outside the home are "SAHMs." If a woman doesn't have children, then it's just assumed that she'll work.

It's good to be a productive member of society, but that could mean many things. What if someone never had a paying job, but they were a kick-ass volunteer? Still good.

Agreed. I'm PP, as well as the PP who posted much earlier on that I work part-time, but really appreciate all the SAHMs in our community who volunteer tons of time at school and for community programs. Their efforts make a huge difference. It's a shame that some other moms can't fully appreciate that contribution.

I would hope you would appreciate all of the people -- moms, dads, nonparents, working parents, retired people -- who volunteer. I have not observed in any of my kids schools or in the community that SAHMs do the majority of the volunteering.

PP here. I would hope that reasonable people could discern that since this is largely a thread about women who don't work outside the home for pay and what they may be doing insread, that I wouldn't have to proclaim my appreciation for EVERY group of people who volunteer. In my own community, there are many SAHMs and they do a large part of the volunteering for the community's children. Never did I say that they were the ONLY group volunteering or that my community is representative of any other in the world. Are we really going to have to add these kinds of disclaimers? Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandma. Now my grandpa is on his deathbed and she keeps talking about how his pension and his ss stops. She only had 80+ years to prepare. Now she has to live on her little ss benefits

There are some truly awful people on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandma. Now my grandpa is on his deathbed and she keeps talking about how his pension and his ss stops. She only had 80+ years to prepare. Now she has to live on her little ss benefits

There are some truly awful people on this forum.

+1. And if they are this way with their own blood, I am not surprised that they are real A**H**** to others on this forum and in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL left an abusive home at 17 to work 3rd shift in a factory while she earned a teaching degree. She then worked as a teacher until she retired.

My mom was a diabetes researcher until she retired and became an accomplished artist with her own solo gallery shows. She is still doing that. She had 3 sisters who never worked at all, nor did her mother. They thought and still think she is kind of a brainy, eccentric freak, and a weirdo who doesn't care enough about her looks. I guess all of that is true, lol.

Personally, I love these types of women. Your mom's a Renaissance woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:RE: how many of us have a mother or MIL who never worked outside the home in her lifetime?

It's such different world than raising kids 30 years ago. In our case my mother stayed home and my MIL pretty much stayed home but taught ESOL (def not called that in the 1980s) part-time.

We have two small kids. I have found that the BIGGEST CHANGE between the generations are with the FATHERS. Fathers in America have to be way more involved in parenting and running a household than "back in the day." An educated, career-oriented wife would not put up with the likes of DH and the kids being waited on 24/7.

The problem is not Grandma wasn't working full-time, it is Grandpa not being a 2016 role-model husband or father. So unless your DH speaks with a range of peers, co-workers, cousins, siblings on how to work out managing a household in this day and age, his father figure won't be of much help. Could even be a huge negative, depending on how clueless your DH is.

Another big difference, too is that our mothers and grandmothers who didn't work outside the home were considered "housewives"; now those who don't work outside the home are "SAHMs." If a woman doesn't have children, then it's just assumed that she'll work.

It's good to be a productive member of society, but that could mean many things. What if someone never had a paying job, but they were a kick-ass volunteer? Still good.

Agreed. I'm PP, as well as the PP who posted much earlier on that I work part-time, but really appreciate all the SAHMs in our community who volunteer tons of time at school and for community programs. Their efforts make a huge difference. It's a shame that some other moms can't fully appreciate that contribution.

I would hope you would appreciate all of the people -- moms, dads, nonparents, working parents, retired people -- who volunteer. I have not observed in any of my kids schools or in the community that SAHMs do the majority of the volunteering.

I think today's 55-85 yo grandparents are shocked at how busy today's mothers and fathers are, whether they both work FT or not. House, kids, work, sports, social, travel, investing, volunteering, church/temple, etc.

tee hee. How young are you? Lots of us over 55 are not sitting in our rockers, retired from life. We're still in the thick of raising our kids, the youngest ones still in elementary school, doing every single thing you mention there, as well as taking care of our elderly parents.

[Anonymous]

My mother grew up 'dirt poor' so working when she was young was a matter of survival. Even though we were poor she was a SAHM and slowly through the years the economics got a bit better. She never worked outside the home but she did assist my father when he made a late career change for a time in his home office.

People can say what they want about the issue but growing up my two closest friends was always jealous that my mother was home when I got there after school. Our house was THE house for my friends, and those of my siblings, to hang out.