"False advertising" related to weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All your fancy talk comes down to 2 simple words which are 100% effective at weight loss:
Calorie deficit

Doesn't matter how much you are training.
Doesn't matter what is your metabolism.
Doesn't matter how much you are eating.

If you are achieving calorie deficit, then you are losing weight.
If you are calorie surplus, then you are gaining weight.

End of story.

Except where that line is is different for everyone. Frequently its hard to find that line. And for some people that line means eating very little food which is very difficult to accomplish over the long term.

I read a very good article by a doctor who works in the weight loss field who is very frustrated by the idea of this all being about will power. Because a fat person is expected to exercise will power 24/7 and if they fail one time they are looked at as a loser which is a test of will power we don't put on anyone else. Jesus the fat hating aholes on this forum are such POSs

1960:

Average American male: 166.3 pounds
Average American female: 140 pounds

2010:

Average American male: 199.5 pounds
Average American female: 166.3

Hard for me to buy into the (this is so hard line of thinking). Both men and women have struggled with this in our country over the past 50 years, but women get more judgment for it.

Lack of willpower must be causing people to grow taller, too! https://ourworldindata.org/human-height/

What point are you trying to make? A 1% increase in average height in no way explains an 18% increase in average weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To get back on topic, I think that if your spouse's weight is so important to you that you'd cry "false advertising" if they gained, then you need to be completely upfront and give anyone you date a clear warning that you value looks above all else. You must warn them that they can't count on you to love and want them when they inevitably become less physically attractive over time, should you marry. If you don't warn them, you're the false advertiser.

Gaining weight is NOT inevitable. I've not gained any weight. I see alot of attractive older women around who are thin/fit.
But my wife is now 50 pounds heavier than when we married. I am not the least bit attracted to her, sexually.
This has nothing to do with the natural aging process, it is entirely her weight gain.

Yes, my wife falsely advertised. She pretended to value maintaining a fit appearance.

You can call me a false advertiser for not "warning her" that I will always value staying physically fit.
It seems pretty obvious that if I wanted a girl even larger than myself, then I would not have connected with my then-thin wife, right?
And I could never have predicted that she would just stop caring about her weight.
You say we should not have married? Well indeed that may happen.
She doesn't deserve to be with somebody like me.
And I don't deserve to be with somebody like she's become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To get back on topic, I think that if your spouse's weight is so important to you that you'd cry "false advertising" if they gained, then you need to be completely upfront and give anyone you date a clear warning that you value looks above all else. You must warn them that they can't count on you to love and want them when they inevitably become less physically attractive over time, should you marry. If you don't warn them, you're the false advertiser.

Gaining weight is NOT inevitable. I've not gained any weight. I see alot of attractive older women around who are thin/fit.
But my wife is now 50 pounds heavier than when we married. I am not the least bit attracted to her, sexually.
This has nothing to do with the natural aging process, it is entirely her weight gain.

Yes, my wife falsely advertised. She pretended to value maintaining a fit appearance.

You can call me a false advertiser for not "warning her" that I will always value staying physically fit.
It seems pretty obvious that if I wanted a girl even larger than myself, then I would not have connected with my then-thin wife, right?
And I could never have predicted that she would just stop caring about her weight.
You say we should not have married? Well indeed that may happen.
She doesn't deserve to be with somebody like me.
And I don't deserve to be with somebody like she's become.

People are different, what is physically easy for one individual may not be physically easy for another individual.

Apparently for some people its easier to love someone for who they are inside, and for others, this is difficult and results in great pain for their families down the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is an ass. If you want a mate whose looks (or personality/interests/life goals, etc. for that matter) are guaranteed never to change, get a blow up doll.

Come on, how would you like if you married someone thin and they gained a hundred pounds. It's a huge difference.
It's not like gaining 30 lbs.

I'm the poster you're responding to. Weight is an important component of sexual attraction for some people, but not for everyone. My DH and I have both gained significant weight since we met and our sex life has never been better.

But theoretically, if my spouse gained a bunch of weight and I no longer found myself attracted to him, I would consider my options. I could try to help him lose the weight. I could stay in a sexless marriage. I could divorce him. Whatever, that's between the two of us. But if I complained about "false advertising," implying that he lied and tricked me into marriage, I would be an asshole. Nobody gains 100 pounds on purpose to spite their spouse. Human bodies are faulty and unpredictable and shit happens. Blame, shame, and recriminations are not the kind way to respond, especially when you're supposed to love someone for more than their looks.

Shit happens but going from 120 to 220 is extreme. That woman should take some responsibility. It's one thing to gain 20 lbs or even 30, but 100 is false advertising. I'm female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are forgetting the fact that she is now obese, not just fat, no other way to describe it. I for one would have a huge problem with it, for most guys (and females) this will lead to an unhappy marriage.

Being obese leads to an unhappy marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, the question is why did your cousin let herself go? Kids, emotional eater, too busy of a career?

And guys/husbands also tend to pack on the pounds. Some men have big bowling ball stomachs that if I didn't bettet, would've thought they were preg.

She has three kids, she works two days a week.
She got heavy before she started having kids,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin was always a bit chubby. She is 5 ft 8 in.
In high school she was around 160 lbs. In her mid to late 20's she got really really thin, around 120lbs. She met a guy who she ended up marrying. He only ever knew her when she was thin. She immediately gained 30 lbs after the wedding. Since then, she has gained weight ongoing and now after ten years is around 220lbs.

My brother said this was " false advertising" and he felt bad for her husband. Saying, the husband married a thin woman and now he is stuck. Yes, my brother is a jerk. But do you agree with his point?

Is 5 ft 8 in @ 160 really considered chubby? I thought that was in the normal range?

In high school, it's fat, I was 5 ft 7 in high school and 117lbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin was always a bit chubby. She is 5 ft 8 in.
In high school she was around 160 lbs. In her mid to late 20's she got really really thin, around 120lbs. She met a guy who she ended up marrying. He only ever knew her when she was thin. She immediately gained 30 lbs after the wedding. Since then, she has gained weight ongoing and now after ten years is around 220lbs.

My brother said this was " false advertising" and he felt bad for her husband. Saying, the husband married a thin woman and now he is stuck. Yes, my brother is a jerk. But do you agree with his point?

Is 5 ft 8 in @ 160 really considered chubby? I thought that was in the normal range?

In high school, it's fat, I was 5 ft 7 in high school and 117lbs.

Disagree.
Depends on your body type.
I am roughly that height (5'8.5"), I weighed that much in HS my senior year - 20 years ago, before vanity sizing really kicked in - I lettered in three varsity sports. I hold onto a lot of muscle. I was a size 7/9. in the mid 90s.
I'm closer to the wife's size now (unfortunately). I'm a 14 (with today's vanity sizing)

[Anonymous]

Prospective spouses need to look at their future inlaws. My FIL has a dad-belly. I'm sure my DH will have one too. My mom is a stick and my DH has even joked that there is no chance of me getting fat.

It is so so much genetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Prospective spouses need to look at their future inlaws. My FIL has a dad-belly. I'm sure my DH will have one too. My mom is a stick and my DH has even joked that there is no chance of me getting fat.

It is so so much genetic.

Neither me, no DH followed the genetic pattern of our families