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To me this is a topic that everyone should ask because if it would be a dealbreaker, you should know.
Next question: would you run if you had a child with severe special needs? If it's a dealbreaker, find out now. You should know how much character your future spouse has. |
| Did the husband never see any pictures of your sister from when she was younger and heavier before they got married? He had to have known. |
| If dh gained enough weight to be obvious if he pretty upset, because it not only affects attraction but sends the message that he doesn't care enough about his health or living a longer life with us to take it seriously. People in my family all were very unhealthy and gained quite a bit of weight, and that doesn't go well once you hit your 50s. Dh and I actually had a frank discussion about it while we were dating that we would both always stay fit for each other because it isn't fair to the partner to do otherwise. There are plenty of things outside of our control as we age that make life more challenging: this shouldn't be one of them. |
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Significant weight gain would be a huge problem for me. DH was roughly 20 pounds overweight and my attraction dwindled. He's a short guy so 20 pounds can be a significant change. I told him I wanted him to lose weight. That was a year ago. He's lost the weight and is an avid gym goer. I go with him.
Also want to add that when I told him this, I was about 50 pounds overweight (the nerve!). He never complained about my weight but I'm sure he hated it. I finally got fed up and started losing it and am about 10 pounds from my goal weight. |
| I married my husband when he had a full head of lustrous hair. Now he's bald. It was "false advertising." I want a divorce! |
| My DW is balloning slowly. Likley ~2 pounds each year. Efforts to encourage exercise, discourage cheese & ice cream, etc., are verbally embraced -- but not matched by actions. This is not a feminist cause or a body shaming issue. Let's call people fat and obese as they are. And let's be honest about what we want. I want BMI <25. That's what I am. |
his hair loss is beyond human control, but you at fat by choice. Completely different. |
2 lbs a year is not ballooning. How do you even know she's gained 2 lbs over the course of a year. Do you weigh her? My college age DD is a lean size 4 and the two lbs she gains, then loses every menstrual cycle barely show. |
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Advertising is a term that relates to product marketing. She is a person, not a product.
Your brother is a person as well, but he is also an ass. |
Your point is that men are actually rational about this instead of getting defensive like any woman would do? Or are you just bragging about how hypocritical you can be without raising his ire? |
| Hmm spouse gains 100lbs? You can love their personality and heart all you want but that's not gonna be what gets it up in the bedroom. |
+1 Did she willfully avoid any talk about how she slimmed down? In that case yes, false advertising. I guess it is about intent. Maybe she thought it wasn't a big deal slimming down and expected to hold her weight easily. |
| You people are forgetting the fact that she is now obese, not just fat, no other way to describe it. I for one would have a huge problem with it, for most guys (and females) this will lead to an unhappy marriage. |
Disagree on both counts. Husband could have surgery, wear a toupee, use Rogaine. Unless wife sat down and deliberately force fed herself, she did not become fat "by choice." No one plans to gain 30 pounds unless they are an actor in a movie. |
Are you nuts? Every day someone makes another unhealthy food choice, skips out on any kind of exercise, makes every excuse in the book, is planning to gain 30 pounds. If you eat like shit and don't work out unless you're some kind of mystical being, YOU'RE GOING TO GAIN WEIGHT. If you fail to understand this, you're an imbecile. Get a clue. |