A thread for ugly women

[Anonymous]

There is a very odd reaction from thinking of yourself as pretty or ugly. People are uncomfortable with the idea that each of us has formed an opinion about our own features.

The difference between feeling ugly and not being able to cook is that you could learn to cook, and your looks and your feelings about your looks are something that are with you 24-7 in one way or another. It's a bigger deal.

So, wondering. what is the reaction if I told you that, in fact, I am pretty, but I am not smart, kind, or funny. Wouldn't it sound like I have low self-esteem?

[Anonymous]

the age is the great equalizer is sort of a pathetic thought and premise. first, its not exactly true and i am not even talking about plastic surgery or anything. some people age and still look good. second, to rely on 40-50 years of existence where the pretty people are finally "catching up" to you the ugly person isnt anything to really get up about.

its good i guess that those of you who think are ugly are happy. in some instances though, a change in style or something minor is all you need to at least improve whatever is "wrong" with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Below average looking women are the norm in this area.

+1

I think that is why the snarkiness is prevalent. People who feel good about themselves don't need to do that.

[Anonymous]

But what is objectively ugly? I have days where I feel ugly and I almost never walk into a room with assurance that I'm one of the best looking women in there... But it doesn't necessarily mean I'm truly ugly. I also agree that everyone can be pretty in their own way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a very odd reaction from thinking of yourself as pretty or ugly. People are uncomfortable with the idea that each of us has formed an opinion about our own features.

The difference between feeling ugly and not being able to cook is that you could learn to cook, and your looks and your feelings about your looks are something that are with you 24-7 in one way or another. It's a bigger deal.

So, wondering. what is the reaction if I told you that, in fact, I am pretty, but I am not smart, kind, or funny. Wouldn't it sound like I have low self-esteem?

No.., most people would say "most pretty aren't smart or funny because they never had to be." It doesn't sound like low self esteem to me, just acceptance! There's something to be said for recognizing your true personality.

[Anonymous]

In looks, there are two kinds of women in the world -
Beautiful women and lazy women.

Anyone can look nice with clothes, makeup, hairdo etc. ANYONE!

[Anonymous]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It truly is.

I guess a benefit of being ugly would be that whomever decides to marry you is obviously not in it for your exterior, they are definitely in love with the whole person.

Which is a good thing since as we all know, we all lose our charm in the end. Thanks Marilyn Monroe for that line!~

A good way to know if you are attractive or not is just to see how people react to your presence.

An attractive person will have others be more kind to them. People will treat them like they matter as people and they will receive smiles too.

An unattractive person will be treated like just another individual. They may not receive the best customer services and may be ignored more often than noticed.

After all, WE all do it and we know it.

Meaning, we all treat attractive people better than those that are not. It's just default.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is as bad as the pretty thread
For goodness sake don't call yourself ugly!

How about "not physically attractive?"

It's weird how much importance people place on beauty in women. If someone said "I'm not a good cook" you wouldn't be throwing such a fit.

I'm not pretty. I'm 46, 60 pounds over weight. I have lots of worry lines and laugh lines. I have a thin mouth, a snub nose, and my eyes are to small. My face is too round. My hair is a disaster -- thin and curly. I have the wings on the top of my arms. I have a belly from having kids. I'm apple shaped. I wear glasses because I can't wear contacts anymore.

I am ugly. I am also smart, kind, and funny. I work hard. My kids adore me. My husband loves me.

Pretty isn't everything.

+1 million!

I'm not pretty but I am hard-working, smart, funny, curious about the world, pleasant to be around, and I have a great husband and a great family, and all of those things are worth more to me than being a "10."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aging is the great equalizer - we all become a bit "invisible" as we age in this youth-obsessed culture, no matter how beautiful we are or were.

I wonder if it's easier for someone who has never been beautiful to age because they never felt their identity and value was intertwined with their looks; to go from turning heads to gradually noticing that not even the construction workers whistle anymore when you walk by -- that's a game-changer.

This might be true. I am the freckle poster from above and strangely I feel like they are slightly beneficial wrt aging because they help hide wrinkles. Fwiw, I have always gotten catcalls and looks from men in bars etc. but I always thought that had more to do with my body, which I don't think has anything to do with being "pretty." Good body, nice hair, average to ugly face because of the freckles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aging is the great equalizer - we all become a bit "invisible" as we age in this youth-obsessed culture, no matter how beautiful we are or were.

I wonder if it's easier for someone who has never been beautiful to age because they never felt their identity and value was intertwined with their looks; to go from turning heads to gradually noticing that not even the construction workers whistle anymore when you walk by -- that's a game-changer.

This might be true. I am the freckle poster from above and strangely I feel like they are slightly beneficial wrt aging because they help hide wrinkles. Fwiw, I have always gotten catcalls and looks from men in bars etc. but I always thought that had more to do with my body, which I don't think has anything to do with being "pretty." Good body, nice hair, average to ugly face because of the freckles.

^ You win some, you lose some I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In looks, there are two kinds of women in the world -
Beautiful women and lazy women.

Anyone can look nice with clothes, makeup, hairdo etc. ANYONE!

ITA. I think most people basically look the same -- say in the 6, 7, 8 range of attractiveness. The 10's and 4's are outliers. I can't think of many truly drop-dead gorgeous people nor can I think of many truly ugly people. The difference is primarily weight, physical fitness, hair, make-up, attire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being ugly has defined my life also. Basically, I was cute from 0-4. At 4 or 5 I entered the awkward phase and at 38 have never left it. I was bullied all through school, to the point that it's good there were no guns in our house. Kids used to constantly tell me pre-10/31 "Um, Halloween isn't here yet so you should take off your mask" and post-10/31 "Halloween is over; you can take off your mask now." When my older brother delivered newspapers to neighbors, he came home one day and sheepishly admitted a kid in my grade gave him a dog biscuit to give me. My mother shrugged and told him to give it to our dog. I was really disappointed that she said nothing to console me. During class pictures kids would try to push me out of the picture saying I'd break the camera and would argue about who had to sit next to me.

Nobody ever asked me out in high school or college. I didn't even know when my prom was. Nobody asked to sign my yearbook (and I didn't bother getting one). I was not invited to any graduation parties. I invited about a dozen kids to mine - NONE came. I was so embarrassed that I lied to the relatives and told them my mom said I had to have a separate party for friends, and there was so much extra food that my brother got told to invite his friends over to eat. Usually I don't bother trying to look good, just aim for acceptable/appropriate. For my brother's wedding I did EVERYTHING I could possibly do to look good. When I saw pictures they were so bad that I cried because after all that effort, I still looked awful.

I am forgotten and ignored by the general public. I just hope that I don't die of suspicious causes that require an autopsy because it'd be embarrassing for them to find out I'm a virgin.

this is so horribly sad! I pray this isn't true. If it is, I'm sending you a big hug.

[Anonymous]

Funny, I can't remember any truly gorgeous people IRL. Maybe some cute teenage girls, but most teenage girls are cute anyway. I agree that most people are rather average. Some choose to pay more attention to their appearance, some less.

Oh, and the shit you see in magazines isn't real

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aging is the great equalizer - we all become a bit "invisible" as we age in this youth-obsessed culture, no matter how beautiful we are or were.

I wonder if it's easier for someone who has never been beautiful to age because they never felt their identity and value was intertwined with their looks; to go from turning heads to gradually noticing that not even the construction workers whistle anymore when you walk by -- that's a game-changer.

From one of my favorite books, about a 50ish woman:

But just as she was resigning herself to total defeat, the odds began to alter in Vinnie's favor. Within the last couple of years she has in a sense caught up with, even passed, some of her better-equipped contemporaries. The comparison of her appearance to that of other women of her age is no longer a constant source of mortification. She is no better looking than she ever was, but they have lost more ground."

Alison Lurie
Foreign Affairs

LOLOL

[Anonymous]

I am ugly and heard every kind of mocking insult in school and then have become completely invisible (or people quickly avert their eyes) as an adult. I have an attractive husband and people have gawked at us in public, which is horribly embarrassing to me.

By the way PP, NO, we do not ALL judge others by their looks. That's on you.