A thread for ugly women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you ugly people are worse than fat folks who embrace and accept their fate.

there are ways to highlight and bring attention to your good parts. no need to accept your ugliness and just let everything go. you can dress better, do you hair, make up or something. to basically accept it is sort of sad and it doesnt matter how much you try to claim you are "happy" despite all that.

some of you are probably not that ugly. the way you carry yourself probably adds to your belief. at the same time, the pretty people feeling themselves in that other thread are probably not all pretty. they just carry themselves a certain way, get a few compliments every once in a while and wrap it up into a warped up view on how attractive they are.

Even when I am dressed my best, I find my looks painfully bad. I had to have a portrait done for my law firm's website. I had my hair done and my make-up done professionally. I wore the most flattering clothes that I could find. The pictures were still awful, because I am awful looking. They are embarrassing to look at. I am ashamed to have my portrait on the website. It doesn't matter how much work I put in, I am not going to be a pretty woman.

Being told to "try harder" is just adding insult to injury. So freaking offensive...

are you serious?

i wouldnt suggest try harder. maybe keep trying? if you got professionally done up and still think you looked a mess thats unfortunate. i doubt you did cause and you just hard on yourself.


if you really feel that was, im sorry then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you ugly people are worse than fat folks who embrace and accept their fate.

there are ways to highlight and bring attention to your good parts. no need to accept your ugliness and just let everything go. you can dress better, do you hair, make up or something. to basically accept it is sort of sad and it doesnt matter how much you try to claim you are "happy" despite all that.

some of you are probably not that ugly. the way you carry yourself probably adds to your belief. at the same time, the pretty people feeling themselves in that other thread are probably not all pretty. they just carry themselves a certain way, get a few compliments every once in a while and wrap it up into a warped up view on how attractive they are.

Even when I am dressed my best, I find my looks painfully bad. I had to have a portrait done for my law firm's website. I had my hair done and my make-up done professionally. I wore the most flattering clothes that I could find. The pictures were still awful, because I am awful looking. They are embarrassing to look at. I am ashamed to have my portrait on the website. It doesn't matter how much work I put in, I am not going to be a pretty woman.

Being told to "try harder" is just adding insult to injury. So freaking offensive...

are you serious?

i wouldnt suggest try harder. maybe keep trying? if you got professionally done up and still think you looked a mess thats unfortunate. i doubt you did cause and you just hard on yourself.


if you really feel that was, im sorry then.

Please go back to the "pretty privilege" thread. You clearly have limited life experience dealing with rough looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you ugly people are worse than fat folks who embrace and accept their fate.

there are ways to highlight and bring attention to your good parts. no need to accept your ugliness and just let everything go. you can dress better, do you hair, make up or something. to basically accept it is sort of sad and it doesnt matter how much you try to claim you are "happy" despite all that.

some of you are probably not that ugly. the way you carry yourself probably adds to your belief. at the same time, the pretty people feeling themselves in that other thread are probably not all pretty. they just carry themselves a certain way, get a few compliments every once in a while and wrap it up into a warped up view on how attractive they are.

Even when I am dressed my best, I find my looks painfully bad. I had to have a portrait done for my law firm's website. I had my hair done and my make-up done professionally. I wore the most flattering clothes that I could find. The pictures were still awful, because I am awful looking. They are embarrassing to look at. I am ashamed to have my portrait on the website. It doesn't matter how much work I put in, I am not going to be a pretty woman.

Being told to "try harder" is just adding insult to injury. So freaking offensive...

are you serious?

i wouldnt suggest try harder. maybe keep trying? if you got professionally done up and still think you looked a mess thats unfortunate. i doubt you did cause and you just hard on yourself.


if you really feel that was, im sorry then.

Please go back to the "pretty privilege" thread. You clearly have limited life experience dealing with rough looks.

youve made it far enough in life that you work at a law firm. if you are that much of an eye sore, why would a firm want to put you in front of clients

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you ugly people are worse than fat folks who embrace and accept their fate.

there are ways to highlight and bring attention to your good parts. no need to accept your ugliness and just let everything go. you can dress better, do you hair, make up or something. to basically accept it is sort of sad and it doesnt matter how much you try to claim you are "happy" despite all that.

some of you are probably not that ugly. the way you carry yourself probably adds to your belief. at the same time, the pretty people feeling themselves in that other thread are probably not all pretty. they just carry themselves a certain way, get a few compliments every once in a while and wrap it up into a warped up view on how attractive they are.

Even when I am dressed my best, I find my looks painfully bad. I had to have a portrait done for my law firm's website. I had my hair done and my make-up done professionally. I wore the most flattering clothes that I could find. The pictures were still awful, because I am awful looking. They are embarrassing to look at. I am ashamed to have my portrait on the website. It doesn't matter how much work I put in, I am not going to be a pretty woman.

Being told to "try harder" is just adding insult to injury. So freaking offensive...

are you serious?

i wouldnt suggest try harder. maybe keep trying? if you got professionally done up and still think you looked a mess thats unfortunate. i doubt you did cause and you just hard on yourself.


if you really feel that was, im sorry then.

Please go back to the "pretty privilege" thread. You clearly have limited life experience dealing with rough looks.

youve made it far enough in life that you work at a law firm. if you are that much of an eye sore, why would a firm want to put you in front of clients

I'm not in front of clients, for the most part. I'm in the back room, writing briefs and motions and pleadings. I'm a permanent senior associate. I barely see clients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would that anyone who considerrs themselves "aveerage" is not ugly but just not willing to make some effort to up the looks level. A good haircut, invest in clothes that fit perfectly (its worth using a professional shopper), good skin care, make up lessons, maybe high lights. Its some upfront work but can make a lifetime of difference. Maybe its a southern thing but my mom always said thats what distinguishes us from the other ladies, the allocation of effort knowing that small things can make a big difference.

You realize all these things require money?

Not as much as you think. Seems to me a little bit of money is better than going through life thinking how ugly you are, how horribly people must treat you because you are ugly or any number of sad things voiced on this thread. Im not saying become a barbie doll but seriously a little effort. My brother dates a woman is very very average. He asked me and my sister to take her shopping. She has been so self conscious of her looks her whole life that she tried to "hide" in baggy over sized/old ladyish clothes (think Chicos but for a 28 year old). First thing we did was help to her realize she is actually a size 6, not a 10! Cute, nice fitting jeans cost the same amout as the baggy fitting ones. She has a rocking body. A little lipstick and we took her to my sisters salon (not super cuts) where they actually know what they are doing with curly hair. Small things make a difference. Most importantly her attitude changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank god! I was ignoring the other thread but somehow it just wouldn't get buried; I was irritated every time I saw it pop up to the top of the page but I never bothered to open it.

Being perpetually single has taught me to be self-reliant. I don't need men to love me to figure out how to accept myself. I earn 6 figures so I don't miss the fact that no man has ever bought me a drink.

Maybe it will happen or maybe it won't, but I hope someone special does come into your life someday.

[Anonymous]

When guys buy you a drink, they expect something in return.

[Anonymous]

All women with a good heart are beautiful. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All women with a good heart are beautiful. End of story.

But not pretty. And you know it. You know exactly what we're talking about here. Nobody looks at pictures of women on "People of Wal-Mart" and thinks "She has a good heart, so she's beautiful."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would that anyone who considerrs themselves "aveerage" is not ugly but just not willing to make some effort to up the looks level. A good haircut, invest in clothes that fit perfectly (its worth using a professional shopper), good skin care, make up lessons, maybe high lights. Its some upfront work but can make a lifetime of difference. Maybe its a southern thing but my mom always said thats what distinguishes us from the other ladies, the allocation of effort knowing that small things can make a big difference.

You realize all these things require money?

Not as much as you think. Seems to me a little bit of money is better than going through life thinking how ugly you are, how horribly people must treat you because you are ugly or any number of sad things voiced on this thread. Im not saying become a barbie doll but seriously a little effort. My brother dates a woman is very very average. He asked me and my sister to take her shopping. She has been so self conscious of her looks her whole life that she tried to "hide" in baggy over sized/old ladyish clothes (think Chicos but for a 28 year old). First thing we did was help to her realize she is actually a size 6, not a 10! Cute, nice fitting jeans cost the same amout as the baggy fitting ones. She has a rocking body. A little lipstick and we took her to my sisters salon (not super cuts) where they actually know what they are doing with curly hair. Small things make a difference. Most importantly her attitude changed.

Average is not ugly. Thanks for the tips, though. I'll try shoving my size 18 ass in a pair of 12s and see if that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All women with a good heart are beautiful. End of story.

But not pretty. And you know it. You know exactly what we're talking about here. Nobody looks at pictures of women on "People of Wal-Mart" and thinks "She has a good heart, so she's beautiful."

So what -- it's about changing the perception of beauty, and it starts with how you see yourself.
For years, you did not see many black women considered as the hallmark of beauty, does not mean they weren't it was they were not being appreciated and being ignored. Change the paradigm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All women with a good heart are beautiful. End of story.

But not pretty. And you know it. You know exactly what we're talking about here. Nobody looks at pictures of women on "People of Wal-Mart" and thinks "She has a good heart, so she's beautiful."

So what -- it's about changing the perception of beauty, and it starts with how you see yourself.
For years, you did not see many black women considered as the hallmark of beauty, does not mean they weren't it was they were not being appreciated and being ignored. Change the paradigm.

Again, you completely miss the point. The point is that it's okay to NOT be pretty. It's not about making other people appreciate your differences or "changing the paradigm."

Beauty is nice to have, if you have it. If you don't, it's fine to rely on other strengths. Women who don't choose to pursue "being appreciated" are not sad or missing out or doing something wrong or insecure. They are choosing to pursue other things.

It's okay to be ugly. Really. You don't have to chase this standard. Women who aren't beautiful have worth, even if others don't appreciate it. If you know it, you don't have to "change the paradigm."

Fuck beauty. There is so much more to living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All women with a good heart are beautiful. End of story.

But not pretty. And you know it. You know exactly what we're talking about here. Nobody looks at pictures of women on "People of Wal-Mart" and thinks "She has a good heart, so she's beautiful."

So what -- it's about changing the perception of beauty, and it starts with how you see yourself.
For years, you did not see many black women considered as the hallmark of beauty, does not mean they weren't it was they were not being appreciated and being ignored. Change the paradigm.

But I guess my point and the point of others on here is that why should we have to be considered beautiful to be considered worthwhile? It's condescending that people keep saying, well change the beauty paradigm or every woman is beautiful or "try harder." Believe me, all the trying in the world is just going to bring me up to average. I'm not saying I don't try - I like shopping, I wear makeup, I get my hair cut at a decent salon. But even with all that? I get to "plain Jane" at best.

If someone were short would you say, "Change the paradigm of height! Try harder and you can be tall!"

[Anonymous]

I was overweight and not self confident in HS. The older girls used to pick on me like crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All women with a good heart are beautiful. End of story.

But not pretty. And you know it. You know exactly what we're talking about here. Nobody looks at pictures of women on "People of Wal-Mart" and thinks "She has a good heart, so she's beautiful."

So what -- it's about changing the perception of beauty, and it starts with how you see yourself.
For years, you did not see many black women considered as the hallmark of beauty, does not mean they weren't it was they were not being appreciated and being ignored. Change the paradigm.

Again, you completely miss the point. The point is that it's okay to NOT be pretty. It's not about making other people appreciate your differences or "changing the paradigm."

Beauty is nice to have, if you have it. If you don't, it's fine to rely on other strengths. Women who don't choose to pursue "being appreciated" are not sad or missing out or doing something wrong or insecure. They are choosing to pursue other things.

It's okay to be ugly. Really. You don't have to chase this standard. Women who aren't beautiful have worth, even if others don't appreciate it. If you know it, you don't have to "change the paradigm."

Fuck beauty. There is so much more to living.

Totally agree. Why not focus on what you have control over? I've always been in the sort of "above average" category, going to legit pretty during some years of life, but I find that aging is freeing because I no longer am really concerned about it. It's nice to not define yourself by your looks. I stay healthy and active (and clean and dress appropriately) but I don't care if people think I'm pretty or not. I have daughters, and I really hope they think of their physical appearance as something WAY down low on the list of what's important/valuable about them.