My DH is too tender and sensitive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again here . It was the story of a woman who lost a limb in an accident last year and then ran 3 miles w/a prosthetic limb this year ... I didn't shed a tear or get emotional while watching this on the news. Of course it is a sad story .

my vagina would atrophy if my DH did that.

This is one reason why men are emotionally dysfunctional. They feel like they have to shut themselves down emotionally in order to be sexually attractive to women.

As for OP's husband, the question shouldn't be whether he cried. If a situation provokes an emotional response in him, he should be able to respond. The question is whether he's incapacitated in some sense. If a guy is able to continue being a badass even while feeling and even showing sadness, then he's still masculine, in my opinion. If his emotions render him unable to act effectively or think rationally, on the other hand, that's a problem.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We were both military - that's how we met. I can understand the emotion, like after significant events such as someone you actually know dying or getting sick/ injured. But he gets scared at scary movies and latches onto me, he tears up at random people's sad stories in the news or in movies. He's just very emotional and sensitive I guess - and yes, it's a complete turn-off. Yes, it's not fair to men that they lose some sex appeal by being this way. I'm just at a loss. There's not a damn thing I can do other than accept it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We were both military - that's how we met. I can understand the emotion, like after significant events such as someone you actually know dying or getting sick/ injured. But he gets scared at scary movies and latches onto me, he tears up at random people's sad stories in the news or in movies. He's just very emotional and sensitive I guess - and yes, it's a complete turn-off. Yes, it's not fair to men that they lose some sex appeal by being this way. I'm just at a loss. There's not a damn thing I can do other than accept it.

Well there must have been reasons you were attracted to him and wanted to marry. Would you please get to therapy with him before something happens that you both regret? He might sense that you are disappointed with him and look for someone else who isn't. If you care enough to start this thread, do something about it and you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We were both military - that's how we met. I can understand the emotion, like after significant events such as someone you actually know dying or getting sick/ injured. But he gets scared at scary movies and latches onto me, he tears up at random people's sad stories in the news or in movies. He's just very emotional and sensitive I guess - and yes, it's a complete turn-off. Yes, it's not fair to men that they lose some sex appeal by being this way. I'm just at a loss. There's not a damn thing I can do other than accept it.

Did his military service involve anything traumatic by chance? If sensitivity is a product of a traumatic event, military or otherwise, might be a mental health professional could help him out. On the other hand, if his emotionality is just who he is, there isn't anything really to treat -- it's not a sickness in that case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We were both military - that's how we met. I can understand the emotion, like after significant events such as someone you actually know dying or getting sick/ injured. But he gets scared at scary movies and latches onto me, he tears up at random people's sad stories in the news or in movies. He's just very emotional and sensitive I guess - and yes, it's a complete turn-off. Yes, it's not fair to men that they lose some sex appeal by being this way. I'm just at a loss. There's not a damn thing I can do other than accept it.

Did his military service involve anything traumatic by chance? If sensitivity is a product of a traumatic event, military or otherwise, might be a mental health professional could help him out. On the other hand, if his emotionality is just who he is, there isn't anything really to treat -- it's not a sickness in that case.

+1 thinking the same thing. He sounds a bit broken. So sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again here . It was the story of a woman who lost a limb in an accident last year and then ran 3 miles w/a prosthetic limb this year ... I didn't shed a tear or get emotional while watching this on the news. Of course it is a sad story .

my vagina would atrophy if my DH did that.

It would match your heart.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, constantly crying over news stories sounds a bit nutty.I really don't think that this needs to be about enforcing gender role behavior for men. He may honestly have some issues of the mental kind.

[Anonymous]

Could be several things: what comes to mind is clinical depression or some sort of stress reaction (was he high stress, something like LRRP, counter sniper, infiltration specialist, counter sentry, corpsman or combat medic in a -- bad place, shall we say?)

Did he lose any friends or subordinates and blame himself for not being good enough to have foreseen and avoided the event?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no pleasing the DC women.

It's evolution. Wimpy men are not sexy. Don't be so dense.

Men can't win. I hear women talking about how men should be and how the world would be better if men would be more like women - more sensitive, less aggressive... and yet when they marry one they are still unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no pleasing the DC women.

It's evolution. Wimpy men are not sexy. Don't be so dense.

Men can't win. I hear women talking about how men should be and how the world would be better if men would be more like women - more sensitive, less aggressive... and yet when they marry one they are still unhappy.

Well, the world would be better. But women just wouldn't have sex with the men. So, I blame women for the crappy state of the world!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no pleasing the DC women.

It's evolution. Wimpy men are not sexy. Don't be so dense.

Men can't win. I hear women talking about how men should be and how the world would be better if men would be more like women - more sensitive, less aggressive... and yet when they marry one they are still unhappy.

Well, the world would be better. But women just wouldn't have sex with the men. So, I blame women for the crappy state of the world!

women used to keep us around to open jars and gets things off the top shelf. Now they are becoming taller and stronger. We are becoming obsolete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no pleasing the DC women.

It's evolution. Wimpy men are not sexy. Don't be so dense.

Men can't win. I hear women talking about how men should be and how the world would be better if men would be more like women - more sensitive, less aggressive... and yet when they marry one they are still unhappy.

Well, the world would be better. But women just wouldn't have sex with the men. So, I blame women for the crappy state of the world!

women used to keep us around to open jars and gets things off the top shelf. Now they are becoming taller and stronger. We are becoming obsolete.

Oh, come on. Those keg stands aren't going to do themselves.

[Anonymous]

I was talking to my wife about this thread and she told me about the time her and her sister went to a movie about a Native American that capture a bunch of white women. They were talking about how attracted sexually they were to the main character and her sister said, "you know all those things that we find attractive are the same things we complain about. My agreed.

Seems intellectually, women want one kind of man, but biologically, they want another.

I think that often when a man agreed to put his career aside, so that his wife can pursue hers, sooner or later she starts to resent him and look down on him as less than a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no pleasing the DC women.

It's evolution. Wimpy men are not sexy. Don't be so dense.

Men can't win. I hear women talking about how men should be and how the world would be better if men would be more like women - more sensitive, less aggressive... and yet when they marry one they are still unhappy.

Uh. I never have said anything of the sort. if I wanted a woman, I'd be a lesbian. I like my man strong and not an emasculated eunuch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was talking to my wife about this thread and she told me about the time her and her sister went to a movie about a Native American that capture a bunch of white women. They were talking about how attracted sexually they were to the main character and her sister said, "you know all those things that we find attractive are the same things we complain about. My agreed.

Seems intellectually, women want one kind of man, but biologically, they want another.

I think that often when a man agreed to put his career aside, so that his wife can pursue hers, sooner or later she starts to resent him and look down on him as less than a man.

It's because culturally we are trying to defy human nature.

Personally I'm rolling with nature. My husband swings big dick and I happily ride it.