Please don't give your elementary school child a smart phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, BYOD (bring your own device) is pretty standard across the DC area and the country. My kids use their smartphones in class all the time for research (FCPS Middle school).

Not in MoCo.

Well, many other schools systems across the United States have BYOD policies. Several are cited in this article from September 2012:

http://blog.sharpschool.com/edtech-watch/10-districts-going-byod-this-year-2/

This is the Older Kids and Teenagers forum, correct? Therefore posts are not centered solely on MoCo, correct?

OP stated that this issue was for ES kids. And if you check the definition of the Older Kids/Teens forum, it states ES and above. That article is about MS, not ESs. This thread is mostly talking about ES kids, not MS kids.

And I mentioned MoCo since you mentioned FCPS and that it was "pretty standard across the DC area and the country" to BYOD, which it is not in MoCo ES schools, which again, is the age that this thread is for - as the title states.

[Anonymous]

I don't plan to give my ES children phones, but my decision has nothing to do with you and your family.


In that case, if you do, be sure to tell the children not to ask other children if they can text them. Because the minute you do that, it does become about me and my family.

Grow up and be a parent. My kid doesn't have a smart phone. If other kids ask if they can text him, he has to say no. If he whines about it, I tell him that I'm not interested in hearing it and walk away. Why is this so difficult for you to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, BYOD (bring your own device) is pretty standard across the DC area and the country. My kids use their smartphones in class all the time for research (FCPS Middle school).

Not in MoCo.

Well, many other schools systems across the United States have BYOD policies. Several are cited in this article from September 2012:

http://blog.sharpschool.com/edtech-watch/10-districts-going-byod-this-year-2/

This is the Older Kids and Teenagers forum, correct? Therefore posts are not centered solely on MoCo, correct?

OP stated that this issue was for ES kids. And if you check the definition of the Older Kids/Teens forum, it states ES and above. That article is about MS, not ESs. This thread is mostly talking about ES kids, not MS kids.

And I mentioned MoCo since you mentioned FCPS and that it was "pretty standard across the DC area and the country" to BYOD, which it is not in MoCo ES schools, which again, is the age that this thread is for - as the title states.

The Washington Post article refers to a 6th grade student using BYOD in a Montgomery County school. Most 6th grade students in FCPS are in elementary school. (There are three FCPS middle schools that start in 6th grade.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about 2 things:

1) OP, what school is your son in? I ask bc my son is a 5th grader at a close-in MoCo school, and he has ZERO interest in texting or a phone of any kind. In fact, a grandparent (who ironically has never used a computer or smart anything) gave him an Itouch/Ipod Touch/whatever it's called for Xmas and he hasn't even opened it. So where is it that the demon text is such a siren song to 10/11yos?

2) To the PP who said their child's school permits "research" via smart phones in class - really? WTF? That's insane. I'm guessing you're not in the DC area, but if that's a school policy anywhere in this area, I'd love to know where.

You have to have friends to want to text.

Wow, really classy response. I'm sure you have a lot of friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not my problem that you "aren't ready." This is how things work today - deal with it or go off the grid.

Typical DC Asshole response. Try to do better by your kids, OK?

I think it's a lot more assholish to try to dictate what other people get for their children because they aren't secure enough in their decisions to deal with their child's whining. If OP was confident she was right, she would tell her child how it was and not care about the protests.

OP here. I did that. But I still resent the conflict being injected into my house by the inappropriate decisions of others.

And I resent other for judging everyone based on there own cocoon. You call it inappropriate, but you don't get to decide that for me. The conflict is your issue. Not mine.

Exactly. I could care less whether or not you get your kid a smart phone but you don't get to decide what is and is not appropriate for everyone else.

I'm S. Korean and every one has a smartphone by the time they are 8 yrs old if not sooner.

I'm S. Korean, too, and my 9 yr old does not have a smart or dumb phone, and neither do any of my Korean friends' kids.

Probably b/c you live here. If your kids lived in S. Korea, they would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop the madness.

We debated whether to get the older kid a smart phone when she entered middle school, but that seems to have become the de facto entry point when parents give them. So, we decided to do it, drafted a contract for expectations of behavior, the whole works.

Now, two or three parents of friends of our youngest kid, in elementary school, have given their children smart phones for Christmas or whatever. And as you can imagine, the badgering has started as these kids have no one to text and keep telling our kid they want to text her.

But guess what? We're not ready for this child to have a phone, for a number of reasons (including the fact that this is a $700/year investment once all is said and done). We're also not ready for this child to have a texting account, for a number of reasons (maturity, uncertainty about whether child will follow our expectations based on personality).

I wish people would realize that when they give their children phones this young, it's like a virus that spreads throughout the network of friends. They become a wedge for the "haves" and the "have nots" for whatever reason. My kid will be a "has not" until middle school, but I get to hear about it every day now for a year and a half.

Ugh.

OP, I wouldn't concede the peer pressure battle so quickly. My 6th grader's BF just got one and I told him: OK " you want a phone, let's do an experiment: keep and eye on ( insert name of friend) and see if he becomes one of those people we see on the street ( walking into traffic while staring at a screen…... standing with a group of friends all staring at the screens in their hands…etc...( as opposed to throwing a ball around or talking to eachother ) " " and then we'll discuss it again in 6 months".

IMHO, I think its not" cool" or even appropriate the way these iPhones have become a social crutch and I am speaking about ADULT USAGE, not even young tweens who are still developing social skills. These " smart phones" are a crutch. Just look around next time you are at a restaurant or in the metro. They are the cigarettes of today. Have you ever seen a pack of teens standing together, all texting ….its just weird . I'll no more sign my kid up for that , then I would let NIH use him as a research guinea.

Texting is not a conversation, the act itself reduces communication to an action . Allowing tweens to use these as primary forms of communication will impact the way they learn to navigate socially. I am convinced of that. And its not good. People are much more likley to be dismissive of a text , as a communication form it conditions you to be less respectful of others. ( I think)

Plus, what the heck is going on that no one can just look at book or talk to someone next to them anymore…if a person is alone for a minute they get out their "crutch"…I mean " iPhone" , sorry , but kids need to develop social skills and healthy sense of boundaries . not to mention that what they send over teh internet is their FOREVER. remember feeling so vulnerable taht you thought if your teacher intercepted the note you were passing you would "die". Well, mean girls take an email and forward it to dozens of girls or post it into a google doc….

No way a tween is ready to handle that. Heck, I'm not.

[Anonymous]

Bravo for OP, 21:57, and the few others above who recognize the risks of providing too much unrestricted access to technology to young kids. My oldest -- a college freshman -- didn't get his first cell phone (flip style) until 8th didn't get his first grade, and at that point he was one of the last in the class to get a phone. Three years later, my youngest has had a hand me down phone since early middle school, but just got his first smart phone as a sophomore -- again years after most kids. The parental controls, if any, on most smart phones are not very good and easy to circumvent. Of course, that is also true of some other internet access portable devices. The problem with a smart phone is that you are handing a young child unlimited access to the internet any time anywhere. Even with mobile flip phones, texting allows constant communication. When I was growing up, if I was on our land line phone too long with my friends, my parents told me to get off. There was no unlimited ongoing communication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, BYOD (bring your own device) is pretty standard across the DC area and the country. My kids use their smartphones in class all the time for research (FCPS Middle school).

As a researcher (an academic), I cannot possibly think of a worse way to research than on a smartphone. This is unacceptable, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, BYOD (bring your own device) is pretty standard across the DC area and the country. My kids use their smartphones in class all the time for research (FCPS Middle school).

As a researcher (an academic), I cannot possibly think of a worse way to research than on a smartphone. This is unacceptable, IMO.

My kid reports that he's been allowed to use his smart phone in class (MS and HS) to look up something specific, like the spelling or definition of a word, or something that is an undisputed fact (e.g.. "What is the capital of Zimbabwe?"), or as a calculator. They aren't using it as the basis for research papers.

[Anonymous]

Another bravo for 21:57. The older kids and teens forum never ceases to amaze me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop the madness.

We debated whether to get the older kid a smart phone when she entered middle school, but that seems to have become the de facto entry point when parents give them. So, we decided to do it, drafted a contract for expectations of behavior, the whole works.

Now, two or three parents of friends of our youngest kid, in elementary school, have given their children smart phones for Christmas or whatever. And as you can imagine, the badgering has started as these kids have no one to text and keep telling our kid they want to text her.

But guess what? We're not ready for this child to have a phone, for a number of reasons (including the fact that this is a $700/year investment once all is said and done). We're also not ready for this child to have a texting account, for a number of reasons (maturity, uncertainty about whether child will follow our expectations based on personality).

I wish people would realize that when they give their children phones this young, it's like a virus that spreads throughout the network of friends. They become a wedge for the "haves" and the "have nots" for whatever reason. My kid will be a "has not" until middle school, but I get to hear about it every day now for a year and a half.

Ugh.

Op,

Did you not realize that when you had kids that it may often mean enforcing rules that other kids may not have? If, in your family a 5th grader does not get a phone, so be it! End of story, and if your kid keeps begging for it, despite your rules, then you evidently have a bigger problem -- something along the lines of your kids not following your rules and understanding that no means no. My elementary age child does not have a phone, but I know others that do, some of whom have family circumstances that make it necessary for the kid to have a phone(after school activities, walking home alone, etc.) Every family circumstance is different, your kid just needs to understand yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not my problem that you "aren't ready." This is how things work today - deal with it or go off the grid.

Typical DC Asshole response. Try to do better by your kids, OK?

I think it's a lot more assholish to try to dictate what other people get for their children because they aren't secure enough in their decisions to deal with their child's whining. If OP was confident she was right, she would tell her child how it was and not care about the protests.

OP here. I did that. But I still resent the conflict being injected into my house by the inappropriate decisions of others.

It may not be inappropriate for that family -- you have no freaking idea -- it is none of your business. I don't have phones for my little kids, but I don't feel that others that do have to clear by me!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don't plan to give my ES children phones, but my decision has nothing to do with you and your family.


In that case, if you do, be sure to tell the children not to ask other children if they can text them. Because the minute you do that, it does become about me and my family.

Grow up and be a parent. My kid doesn't have a smart phone. If other kids ask if they can text him, he has to say no. If he whines about it, I tell him that I'm not interested in hearing it and walk away. Why is this so difficult for you to do?

Two reasons:

1) My child is a social animal. It's how she is wired. So, if all of her friends are texting, getting Instagram, she naturally wants to be connected. So, there's an internal conflict between what I believe as a parent is appropriate and how my child is actually wired. So, yes, it's a bit of a struggle, and I don't flippantly dismiss my child's desires the way you do. By the way, turning your back on someone and walking away is deeply disrespectful. That you model that for your children is extraordinarily bad parenting.

2) I resent the intrusion and badgering, period. No one likes to listen to whining. And whining is usually a continuum: "Can I have something?" "No." "Please?" "No." "Why not?" "Because I said so/I don't owe you an explanation/whatever response" "But so and so has one!" "So and so's family has different rules than ours." "I really want one!" "Quit badgering me. This conversation is over." Followed by future rejoinders. No one likes that shit in their house. And this is a fairly common communication pattern with children, unless you hit them or something.

[Anonymous]

2) To the PP who said their child's school permits "research" via smart phones in class - really? WTF? That's insane. I'm guessing you're not in the DC area, but if that's a school policy anywhere in this area, I'd love to know where.

So.....Do I need to respond, or have you been adequately schooled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not my problem that you "aren't ready." This is how things work today - deal with it or go off the grid.

Typical DC Asshole response. Try to do better by your kids, OK?

I think it's a lot more assholish to try to dictate what other people get for their children because they aren't secure enough in their decisions to deal with their child's whining. If OP was confident she was right, she would tell her child how it was and not care about the protests.

OP here. I did that. But I still resent the conflict being injected into my house by the inappropriate decisions of others.

And I resent other for judging everyone based on there own cocoon. You call it inappropriate, but you don't get to decide that for me. The conflict is your issue. Not mine.

Exactly. I could care less whether or not you get your kid a smart phone but you don't get to decide what is and is not appropriate for everyone else.

I'm S. Korean and every one has a smartphone by the time they are 8 yrs old if not sooner.

I'm S. Korean, too, and my 9 yr old does not have a smart or dumb phone, and neither do any of my Korean friends' kids.

Probably b/c you live here. If your kids lived in S. Korea, they would.

Somehow, I knew that this is what your response would be.

I assume you live here, too. I don't care what kids in S. Korea are doing. They also go to school every other Saturday and after school tutoring classes for a few hours a day, every day. I don't want my kids doing that, either.