Reply to Please don't give your elementary school child a smart phone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stop the madness.

We debated whether to get the older kid a smart phone when she entered middle school, but that seems to have become the de facto entry point when parents give them. So, we decided to do it, drafted a contract for expectations of behavior, the whole works.

Now, two or three parents of friends of our youngest kid, in elementary school, have given their children smart phones for Christmas or whatever. And as you can imagine, the badgering has started as these kids have no one to text and keep telling our kid they want to text her.

But guess what? We're not ready for this child to have a phone, for a number of reasons (including the fact that this is a $700/year investment once all is said and done). We're also not ready for this child to have a texting account, for a number of reasons (maturity, uncertainty about whether child will follow our expectations based on personality).

I wish people would realize that when they give their children phones this young, it's like a virus that spreads throughout the network of friends. They become a wedge for the "haves" and the "have nots" for whatever reason. My kid will be a "has not" until middle school, but I get to hear about it every day now for a year and a half.

Ugh.[/quote]

OP, I wouldn't concede the peer pressure  battle so quickly. My 6th grader's BF just got one and I told him: OK " you want a phone, let's do an experiment: keep and eye on ( insert name of friend) and see if he becomes one of those people we see on the street ( walking into traffic while  staring at a screen…... standing with a group of friends all staring at the screens in their hands…etc...( as opposed to throwing a ball around or talking to eachother ) " " and then we'll discuss it again in  6 months".

IMHO,  I think its not" cool"  or even  appropriate the way these iPhones have become a social crutch and I am speaking about ADULT USAGE, not even young tweens who are still developing social skills. These " smart phones" are a crutch.  Just look around next time you are at a restaurant or in the metro. They are the cigarettes of today. Have you ever seen a pack of teens standing together, all texting ….its just weird . I'll no more sign my kid up for that , then I would let NIH use him as a research guinea.

Texting is not a conversation, the act itself reduces communication to an action . Allowing tweens to use these as primary forms of communication will impact the way they learn to navigate socially. I am convinced of that. And its not good. People are much more likley to be dismissive of a text , as a communication form it conditions you to be less respectful of others. ( I think)

Plus, what the heck is going on that  no one can just look at  book or talk to someone next to them  anymore…if a person is alone for a minute they get out their "crutch"…I mean " iPhone" , sorry , but kids need to develop social skills and healthy sense of boundaries . not to mention that what they send over teh internet is their FOREVER. remember feeling so vulnerable taht you thought if your teacher intercepted the note you were passing you would "die". Well, mean girls take an email and forward it to dozens of girls or post it into a google doc….

No way a tween is ready to handle that. Heck, I'm not.[/quote]

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