Please don't give your elementary school child a smart phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why my kid has a smart phone: School bus was stuck today. DD did not know exactly she was. I used "FindMyFriends", located her (and a few other kids that I knew) and brought them home. #CloseFCPS

Smart phones: Your ticket to the ultimate in helicopter mommying. Imagine the horrors that might have befallen her if mommy hadn't found her: an adventure on the bus with her schoolmates...being a little cold....a lesson about dressing warmly (if she wasn't ) a lessons about how sometimes things go wrong and you just have to suck it up and deal. You must be so proud to be teaching such fine survival skills to members of the wuss generation. Way to go!

EXACTLY, welcome to " beam me up , MOMMY" . The perfect APP for the hellicopter Mom .

" Now, fresh off the press, a APP that allows you to continue to monitor and control your child at just that tween moment where they try to break free "

" get beam me up MOMMY , today !"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but threads like this show up on here frequently, and it is both tiresome and a bit mind boggling to me to see the extent to which parents on these boards feel entitled to dictate the decisions of other families because they're so sure that there's one universally correct and convenient course of action.

LOVE this! +1000

I think what parents are responding to is the braggy certitude so often paired with decisions reflecting a seeming lack of common sense. For better or worse, we are a community and the decisions each of us make often affect all.

vaccinate or not = affects the community
smartphone or not = affects my family

sadly, we'll see won't we?

Me vaccinating my kid or not does not effect you. If your precious vaccines worked the way you claim then what do you care if my kids gets the mumps. Your kid safe and protected right? So buzz off.

Umm.. I hope your kid doesn't ever travel outside the US or coem within 4 feet of a person from the 3rd world who has just immigrated.

Your teen might not thank you when they get Polio on that public service 10 th garde trip , or Tetanus, or, yes, become sterile from the mumps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And if it bothers you, it's okay. It's still the same principle. Some kids have, and some don't. It's your choice as a parent. Just because some kids "have" doesn't mean your kids have to, too. I guarantee there are a lot of kids they know that "have not" as well, for a variety of reasons. Likewise, there are kids that have for a variety of reasons (eg. Parents already own iPhone 3 or 4 and SIM so it's cheaper than getting a non smart phone).

I totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why my kid has a smart phone: School bus was stuck today. DD did not know exactly she was. I used "FindMyFriends", located her (and a few other kids that I knew) and brought them home. #CloseFCPS

Smart phones: Your ticket to the ultimate in helicopter mommying. Imagine the horrors that might have befallen her if mommy hadn't found her: an adventure on the bus with her schoolmates...being a little cold....a lesson about dressing warmly (if she wasn't ) a lessons about how sometimes things go wrong and you just have to suck it up and deal. You must be so proud to be teaching such fine survival skills to members of the wuss generation. Way to go!

+1

I mean, seriously people. How did you all survive childhood without GPS detectors on you all the time. When I was in elementary school, I walked to and from the bus by myself, came home and made myself a snack, did my homework and didn't show up again until 6pm for dinner. Even if I didn't have my trusty wrist watch, I could gauge the skies enough to know when it was close to 6pm. In the summer I was NEVER home. My mom had no freakin clue what I did all day but I gained confidence, survival skills, street smarts, common sense and negotiating skills that these current generations are clueless about.

And I remember being stuck on a bus in the snow for 3hours on the way to school. NO ONE called our parents during or after the "tragic" event. We told them at 6pm dinner and neither parent got upset. They said we were lucky we didn't have to walk to school and were safe on a warm bus and went back to eating. And none of us thought anything of it. How did all of you turn into such whiny babies. Your parents would be ashamed of you. Social media and these boards just stir up and accept the ridiculous complaints and if you take a step back and really think about it. Is it really THAT big of deal if your kid doesn't have a phone. What is the hidden anxiety if you don't know where they are at all times or can't reach you. Let them use some critical thinking skills for once instead of running to Mommy. Geez!

I agree 100% but moms these days always have a rationalization for everything but most of which is that they need to keep up with the Jones's and give their kid everything their friends have. They just claim it is for safety but if 99% of the kids did not have them, neither would their kids. They don't know how to say no, so instead of looking like a wuss, they give their "valid" reasons.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't plan to give my ES children phones, but my decision has nothing to do with you and your family.

+1. Op it's none of your business. Kids will always ask for stuff other kids have that they don't. Just say no.

+1

Some seniors in DC's high school have a range rovers and a bmws. DC thinks s/he should have one too. Not happening. Our family has different values (and can't afford it). That's life.

If you think this should apply to phones, where does it stop? Please stop giving your children soda, because my kids aren't allowed to drink soda? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because your kids weren't raised to the point that you can trust them has no bearing on me and mine. I gave my 1st grader a 5c iPhone so he has something for emergencies. It has been perfectly fine.

I trust my kids just fine. With cell phones, it's the other people you can't trust. I'd ask if you were really this stupid, but you've already answered that by announcing you gave a 6 yo an iPhone.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why my kid has a smart phone: School bus was stuck today. DD did not know exactly she was. I used "FindMyFriends", located her (and a few other kids that I knew) and brought them home. #CloseFCPS

Smart phones: Your ticket to the ultimate in helicopter mommying. Imagine the horrors that might have befallen her if mommy hadn't found her: an adventure on the bus with her schoolmates...being a little cold....a lesson about dressing warmly (if she wasn't ) a lessons about how sometimes things go wrong and you just have to suck it up and deal. You must be so proud to be teaching such fine survival skills to members of the wuss generation. Way to go!

We use the "Find My Phone" feature all the time on the family phones. I have never thought of it as tracking or stalking at all. There are a multitude of reasons why we use this feature instead of calling or texting the person, none of which have to do with lack of trust, but usually to do with knowing the party cannot likely use their phone at that moment. I don't see how it's any different than a quick, "Hey, everything okay?" text?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why my kid has a smart phone: School bus was stuck today. DD did not know exactly she was. I used "FindMyFriends", located her (and a few other kids that I knew) and brought them home. #CloseFCPS

Smart phones: Your ticket to the ultimate in helicopter mommying. Imagine the horrors that might have befallen her if mommy hadn't found her: an adventure on the bus with her schoolmates...being a little cold....a lesson about dressing warmly (if she wasn't ) a lessons about how sometimes things go wrong and you just have to suck it up and deal. You must be so proud to be teaching such fine survival skills to members of the wuss generation. Way to go!

We use the "Find My Phone" feature all the time on the family phones. I have never thought of it as tracking or stalking at all. There are a multitude of reasons why we use this feature instead of calling or texting the person, none of which have to do with lack of trust, but usually to do with knowing the party cannot likely use their phone at that moment. I don't see how it's any different than a quick, "Hey, everything okay?" text?

Wow, you're stupid. Because it's not voluntary? They're not telling you where they are, you're tracking them like Big Brother? No, dingbat, not the TV show. The book.
It's nothing like a quick "Hey, everything okay?". Also, they could be lying dead with the phone in their pocket. It tells you nothing other than the location of the phone. You know, like the title of the app "Find My Phone", not "Check the Status of my Child".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why my kid has a smart phone: School bus was stuck today. DD did not know exactly she was. I used "FindMyFriends", located her (and a few other kids that I knew) and brought them home. #CloseFCPS

Smart phones: Your ticket to the ultimate in helicopter mommying. Imagine the horrors that might have befallen her if mommy hadn't found her: an adventure on the bus with her schoolmates...being a little cold....a lesson about dressing warmly (if she wasn't ) a lessons about how sometimes things go wrong and you just have to suck it up and deal. You must be so proud to be teaching such fine survival skills to members of the wuss generation. Way to go!

We use the "Find My Phone" feature all the time on the family phones. I have never thought of it as tracking or stalking at all. There are a multitude of reasons why we use this feature instead of calling or texting the person, none of which have to do with lack of trust, but usually to do with knowing the party cannot likely use their phone at that moment. I don't see how it's any different than a quick, "Hey, everything okay?" text?

Wow, you're stupid. Because it's not voluntary? They're not telling you where they are, you're tracking them like Big Brother? No, dingbat, not the TV show. The book.
It's nothing like a quick "Hey, everything okay?". Also, they could be lying dead with the phone in their pocket. It tells you nothing other than the location of the phone. You know, like the title of the app "Find My Phone", not "Check the Status of my Child".

My daughter's car does not have hands free integration for phone calls or texts. I use find my iPhone to see where she is on her commute instead of risking calling or texting while she is on the highway. Sure she SHOULD know better than to answer her phone in that situation, but with her grandmother so ill, she has been taking many more calls than she used to.

She knows I do this, sometimes she does the same thing to see if I have left work yet since she knows I can't take calls at work.

Who are you to determine what is or is not a trust issue btw?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why my kid has a smart phone: School bus was stuck today. DD did not know exactly she was. I used "FindMyFriends", located her (and a few other kids that I knew) and brought them home. #CloseFCPS

Smart phones: Your ticket to the ultimate in helicopter mommying. Imagine the horrors that might have befallen her if mommy hadn't found her: an adventure on the bus with her schoolmates...being a little cold....a lesson about dressing warmly (if she wasn't ) a lessons about how sometimes things go wrong and you just have to suck it up and deal. You must be so proud to be teaching such fine survival skills to members of the wuss generation. Way to go!

We use the "Find My Phone" feature all the time on the family phones. I have never thought of it as tracking or stalking at all. There are a multitude of reasons why we use this feature instead of calling or texting the person, none of which have to do with lack of trust, but usually to do with knowing the party cannot likely use their phone at that moment. I don't see how it's any different than a quick, "Hey, everything okay?" text?

Wow, you're stupid. Because it's not voluntary? They're not telling you where they are, you're tracking them like Big Brother? No, dingbat, not the TV show. The book.
It's nothing like a quick "Hey, everything okay?". Also, they could be lying dead with the phone in their pocket. It tells you nothing other than the location of the phone. You know, like the title of the app "Find My Phone", not "Check the Status of my Child".

My daughter's car does not have hands free integration for phone calls or texts. I use find my iPhone to see where she is on her commute instead of risking calling or texting while she is on the highway. Sure she SHOULD know better than to answer her phone in that situation, but with her grandmother so ill, she has been taking many more calls than she used to.

She knows I do this, sometimes she does the same thing to see if I have left work yet since she knows I can't take calls at work.

Who are you to determine what is or is not a trust issue btw?

NP. My husband and I, and our teens, all use this feature to find each other on occasion for the same sorts of reasons as the poster I quoted -- with the full knowledge of all parties. Nobody thinks it's stalking or a "trust issue" (???); it's just convenient and safe.

[Anonymous]

My fifth grader has one and my other child will in fifth grade. We find it helpful in a lot of situations , drop off for sports, etc. we take phone at night and look through things we also randomly ask him to hand it to us. A few times we've seen somewhat inappropriate texts and we talked about it. I believe in having the teachable moments not shielding them from technology, music, or whatever. A balanced approach. Had it been a financial issue to get phone than no we would not have. But please don't try to shame or dictate to others.

[Anonymous]

This is not about shame, it is about safety. Phones emit radiation. Why hand it to your child?

[Anonymous]

The world has gone crazy and parents have lost their footing. What ever happened to common sense. Children should not have cell phones. fifth graders are children! sheesh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The world has gone crazy and parents have lost their footing. What ever happened to common sense. Children should not have cell phones. fifth graders are children! sheesh!

My 11 year old fifth grader goes enough places on her own or at least not under the direct supervision of adults at all times that I want her to have a way to contact me. Therefore we have decided we want her to have a phone. Does she need it -- probably not. Would we restrict her activities substantially if she didn't have it -- definitely.

[Anonymous]

My ES kids don't have smartphones. They have friends who have them. They've asked, I said no, and that was that. I do not see why this is so hard for you, OP. It was not difficult.

The kids who have them sometimes have them for "good" reasons such as a kid with a single mom who has to time a bus schedule with activities that end at different times. However some just have them because they have them. I don't judge. I don't mind saying no to my kids, and I assume I allow my kids to do things that they don't, and they don't judge and just say no.