What needs to change in our culture for rape to be less common on college campuses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We allow our boy children to play video games with violence against women. We don't insist that police depts process rape kits. We allow military hierarchy to absolve people of guilt for sexual crimes We blame girls for drinking too much and dressing like sluts. Colleges hold dances called "freshmen Screw".
We are surprised by the rape statistics?

x2

x3!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


It's not victim blaming to expect women to be part of the solution.


Please explain. Men are the ones raping. Men are the ones who need to stop. That is the solution.


You mean SOME men are raping. True. That definitely needs to stop and these criminals need to be prosecuted. But because we don't live in this idealized, perfect world some of you are imagining (the "if only everyone would band together and stop raping, problem solved"-mentality) and there will unfortunately always be SOME men who continue to rape, I plan on teaching my young daughter how to protect herself as much as possible when she goes to college. I've already taught my sons how to respect women, how 'no means no', and how to step in if they ever witness a situation such as rape (or any kind of assault). They know not to binge drink. They are ready to do their part.

I'm not going to presume that my daughter doesn't need to know anything about self-preservation. She'll need to know how to always stay in a group, not to binge drink, not to go anywhere alone with a man she's just met, especially "upstairs" at a frat, and if none of the above help her stay safe, she will be councelled to call 911 immediately if the worst happens and she or anyone she knows is raped. The police and doctors need to be brought in, a rape kit and statements need to be taken. I'm sick to death of hearing about all the reasons girls/women don't report rape. It's been discussed ad nauseum on this thread and WE GET IT. Now we need to councel our daughters that the best way to prove a rape occured, get a conviction, and prevent the same person from raping again is to report it immediately. Those of you that want to call this "rape apology" or "victim blaming" need to have your heads examined. I hope to God that my daughter and yours are never raped. There are few things more painful to have to recover from. But because we live in the real world, my husband and I are hopefully going to equip her the best way we can to protect herself.

You should rethink that part. Do you really think the every man rapes poster would see your son as different than the rapist? No your son is male and will most likely be seen as trying to fight off the rapist so he can rape. Best for him to leave the area and do and say nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


It's not victim blaming to expect women to be part of the solution.


Please explain. Men are the ones raping. Men are the ones who need to stop. That is the solution.


You mean SOME men are raping. True. That definitely needs to stop and these criminals need to be prosecuted. But because we don't live in this idealized, perfect world some of you are imagining (the "if only everyone would band together and stop raping, problem solved"-mentality) and there will unfortunately always be SOME men who continue to rape, I plan on teaching my young daughter how to protect herself as much as possible when she goes to college. I've already taught my sons how to respect women, how 'no means no', and how to step in if they ever witness a situation such as rape (or any kind of assault). They know not to binge drink. They are ready to do their part.

I'm not going to presume that my daughter doesn't need to know anything about self-preservation. She'll need to know how to always stay in a group, not to binge drink, not to go anywhere alone with a man she's just met, especially "upstairs" at a frat, and if none of the above help her stay safe, she will be councelled to call 911 immediately if the worst happens and she or anyone she knows is raped. The police and doctors need to be brought in, a rape kit and statements need to be taken. I'm sick to death of hearing about all the reasons girls/women don't report rape. It's been discussed ad nauseum on this thread and WE GET IT. Now we need to councel our daughters that the best way to prove a rape occured, get a conviction, and prevent the same person from raping again is to report it immediately. Those of you that want to call this "rape apology" or "victim blaming" need to have your heads examined. I hope to God that my daughter and yours are never raped. There are few things more painful to have to recover from. But because we live in the real world, my husband and I are hopefully going to equip her the best way we can to protect herself.

You should rethink that part. Do you really think the every man rapes poster would see your son as different than the rapist? No your son is male and will most likely be seen as trying to fight off the rapist so he can rape. Best for him to leave the area and do and say nothing.

I'm the PP and you're probably right. Those are the same people who call it "victim blaming" when parents warn girls not to binge drink and show up at frat parties. Funny, and I thought that was just common sense! Never mind that we're warning our boys to also not binge drink and show up at frat parties. The man-hating, "every man rapes" posters are seriously frightening.

[Anonymous]

Is it "victim blaming" to suggest that someone lock their doors?

In a perfect world, we would not need locks. Just like, in a perfect world, young women would not need to worry about getting drunk around groups of horny young men.

[Anonymous]

I went to school in the 1970s at yale in one of the first classes to admit women we were only 30 percent of the class. I got drunk plenty and was never afraid. America has a sick culture going and girls drinking are not part of it. Glorification of violence is the problem every night at 11 pm there are cop shows always about a sexual violent crime. In the 1970 we watched Johnny Carson at 11. True he was a serial divorcee

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing that will seriously reduce future incidents would be the sight of the Virginia Phi Psi rape suspects in handcuffs. Arrest them during Monday Night Football to really get the message across. Detain those privileged hell raisers (all white, not a Black one in the 2012 pledge class) to a place where they have to share a shower with the Hanna Graham murder suspect until they make bail. THAT will send a message that society does not support them. If the UVA rapists are not indicted now after all this publicity (or worse, if they are allowed to surrender in suits and ties accompanied by daddy’s lawyers) then tomorrow’s rapists (who are paying attention to the silent signals the grown ups send on this) will see correctly that they can get away with it, too.

Some frat guys were important in HS. In college identity and self image can be a function of the frat. I went to a big frat school- some disgusted me while others advertised the no hazing etc. None of my children wanted to deal with the frat-sorority BS. One chose to go to a school without Greeks. None. Parties are open to all. I was proud of his decision. He has HS friends in friends and they have vastly different experiences depending on the frat.

[Anonymous]

Sexual assault is probably no more common in college than it was 30 years ago. I'm not saying that's acceptable, but the real change has been the way it is being reported by the media.

Child molesters were more common decades ago, but people just report on it now more than they used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sexual assault is probably no more common in college than it was 30 years ago. I'm not saying that's acceptable, but the real change has been the way it is being reported by the media.

Child molesters were more common decades ago, but people just report on it now more than they used to.

In fact, sexual assault and rape are much LESS common than they were 30 years ago.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/07/sexual-violence-against-women_n_2828653.html

What does the term "rape culture" even mean?

This notion that men are animals, that women are being targeted at every turn, that we have a "rape culture" (what does that even mean?)--it doesn't square with reality. American women are in a better position today than we have ever been. Men today are far more likely to treat women as equals than they were 20 or 40 or 60 years ago and far less likely to see women only in sexual terms.

Even one rape is one too many, but please--let's keep things in perspective. Great progress has been made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it "victim blaming" to suggest that someone lock their doors?

In a perfect world, we would not need locks. Just like, in a perfect world, young women would not need to worry about getting drunk around groups of horny young men.

+1

BTW, I also tell my son that it is stupid and risky to get falling down drunk. Your first priority, no matter what sex you are, is self-preservation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing that will seriously reduce future incidents would be the sight of the Virginia Phi Psi rape suspects in handcuffs. Arrest them during Monday Night Football to really get the message across. Detain those privileged hell raisers (all white, not a Black one in the 2012 pledge class) to a place where they have to share a shower with the Hanna Graham murder suspect until they make bail. THAT will send a message that society does not support them. If the UVA rapists are not indicted now after all this publicity (or worse, if they are allowed to surrender in suits and ties accompanied by daddy’s lawyers) then tomorrow’s rapists (who are paying attention to the silent signals the grown ups send on this) will see correctly that they can get away with it, too.

Some frat guys were important in HS. In college identity and self image can be a function of the frat. I went to a big frat school- some disgusted me while others advertised the no hazing etc. None of my children wanted to deal with the frat-sorority BS. One chose to go to a school without Greeks. None. Parties are open to all. I was proud of his decision. He has HS friends in friends and they have vastly different experiences depending on the frat.

Same here. My DC chose a school specifically with no Greek system whatsoever and I was very proud of this decision. I also attended a college with no Greeks and it was great - as you mentioned, parties open to all. Having no frats/sororities doesn't mean having no parties. There were always fun parties on the weekends, but they didn't involve hazing or secrecy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sexual assault is probably no more common in college than it was 30 years ago. I'm not saying that's acceptable, but the real change has been the way it is being reported by the media.

Child molesters were more common decades ago, but people just report on it now more than they used to.

In fact, sexual assault and rape are much LESS common than they were 30 years ago.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/07/sexual-violence-against-women_n_2828653.html

What does the term "rape culture" even mean?

This notion that men are animals, that women are being targeted at every turn, that we have a "rape culture" (what does that even mean?)--it doesn't square with reality. American women are in a better position today than we have ever been. Men today are far more likely to treat women as equals than they were 20 or 40 or 60 years ago and far less likely to see women only in sexual terms.

Even one rape is one too many, but please--let's keep things in perspective. Great progress has been made.

+100

[Anonymous]

I was in a college class of 300 women and 1000 men. If 20 percent of those women were raped I think I would have heard about it. Things have gotten worse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a college class of 300 women and 1000 men. If 20 percent of those women were raped I think I would have heard about it. Things have gotten worse

Grain of salt needed?

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2014/may/02/are-20-percent-women-sexually-assaulted-they-gradu/

[Anonymous]

Things have definitely gotten worse. I think its because the drinking has gotten worse.

[Anonymous]

Burkas for men.