If your spouse is a marathon runner, tri-athlete, etc ......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am reading 2 separate issues in OP household:

1. H is taking advantage of imbalanced "me time"

2. W seems to think that young kids mean neither parent deserve much "me time"

I think both H and W are wrong.

I wouldn't go so far as W saying that neither parent deserves much "me time." I think she's just really frustrated. Having 3 kids under 5, including a 3 mos old is really time consuming. And it's just a fact of life that for the time being, it's all hands on deck. Does this mean it will be this way all the time? No. But for the time being, "me time" for either parent will require strong communication AND an understanding that it really may not be much time as in the past. So the 2-hour run that dad used to take may have to be just an hour. And the 3 hours that mom used to take to biking may just need to be an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I wouldn't go so far as W saying that neither parent deserves much "me time."

Well let's agree to disagree, because I most certainly read W saying that "me time" should indeed be limited, in her own words:
run just a few miles a few times a week. No marathons required. No out of town races required. No "theme" runs required


All these things are very possible!!
Like I said, H needs more balance (ensuring her equal "me time", shifting runs to early/late hours, jog stroller with kids, etc)
and W needs to open up to the idea that the kids don't rule the parents lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I wouldn't go so far as W saying that neither parent deserves much "me time."

Well let's agree to disagree, because I most certainly read W saying that "me time" should indeed be limited, in her own words:
run just a few miles a few times a week. No marathons required. No out of town races required. No "theme" runs required


All these things are very possible!!
Like I said, H needs more balance (ensuring her equal "me time", shifting runs to early/late hours, jog stroller with kids, etc)
and W needs to open up to the idea that the kids don't rule the parents lives.

PP, have you ever trained for and run a marathon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am reading 2 separate issues in OP household:

1. H is taking advantage of imbalanced "me time"

2. W seems to think that young kids mean neither parent deserve much "me time"

I think both H and W are wrong.

I wouldn't go so far as W saying that neither parent deserves much "me time." I think she's just really frustrated. Having 3 kids under 5, including a 3 mos old is really time consuming. And it's just a fact of life that for the time being, it's all hands on deck. Does this mean it will be this way all the time? No. But for the time being, "me time" for either parent will require strong communication AND an understanding that it really may not be much time as in the past. So the 2-hour run that dad used to take may have to be just an hour. And the 3 hours that mom used to take to biking may just need to be an hour.

I disagree that it needs to be "all hands on deck" all the time, just because of the ages/number of kids. When my 3rd child was born, my older two were 2 years old, and 4 years old--so I too had 3 kids under 5 with one being an newborn. My husband was active duty military and deployed when the youngest was 3 weeks old, and he was gone for 7 months. I would have been THRILLED if every weekend he was around for even just a few hours to help out. To expect that both parents need to completely give up all hobbies/interests, just because there are 3 small kids, is ridiculous. OPs husband should be able to do a long run every weekend, say 6 am-11 am to include recovery time, shower, etc. Then OP should also have 5 hours to do whatever her hobby is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, have you ever trained for and run a marathon?

Yes, about 1 full marry per year, lots of shorter races. Why do you ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That shit doesn't fly in my house. But clearly you have been enabling this if you are on kid 3 and he still thinks its ok.

I feel sorry for you. Why did you have a third kid? Now you have four.

I would suggest you get a nanny and take up running to your nearest divorce lawyer!