Husband e-mails Wife spreadsheet of Wife's excuses not to have sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a wife who denies sex for made-up, trivial reasons. But the real reason is my husband's lack of hygiene. He has bad breath and crotch BO, and it infuriates me. I used to tell him to go take a shower and brush his teeth, but having to remind him really kills the mood for me. It is embarrassing and disappointing to me that I have to have this conversation over and over, with a grown man. It's like having a third child. And it's disrespectful, because no matter how many times I ask him, he never changes. So after about 100 times having the awkward bad breath conversation and dealing with oh-so-sensitive hurt feelings, eventually I just gave up. I just cannot stomach discussing his BO and halitosis every goddamn time he wants to get laid, so I make up trivial reasons. If he wants me to motivate for sex, he needs to motivate for hygiene, it's a two way street.

Asshole spreadsheet husband should take an inventory of his own shortcomings. I'm sure there are plenty.

How about you mention the real issue? As in ALWAYS? That way, you don't have to be sexless and a freaking liar. Ever try being honest?

How about you put toothpaste in that cunt of yours so that he can brush his teeth too? I believe the saying, "two birds with one stone" or something like that comes to mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This brings to mind that scene from Annie Hall where the therapist asks how often they have sex. Wood Allen says, "hardly ever, like, you know, three times a week." And Diane Keaton says, "CONSTANTLY, like three times a week."

Sadly, back when we were on the once or twice a month plan, my wife thought that was "constantly." Then she tried to get on the once a week plan and agreed that I could count the frequency to keep track, but not bug her for sex. Guess what, we're nowhere close to once a week. But I love our children, so here I am; miserable.

That sucks. Sorry, man.

Right there with you my friend ... sorry to hear it.

Alright men. Huddle up. Provided that you know you arent a bunch of pricks, but instead are loving partners to your spouse and aren't getting any, we need to change the culture where it is okay for women to simply deny sex. I want women to enjoy it too, that is why we all need to get the message across that they have to make time for it to make a relationship fulfilling. Otherwise, they should have married their brothers.

Also, the fucking goddamn movie business ruined it for us. How many movies tell us men that WE have to do the romancing while the women are already perfect in every respect? That shit aint true. Women have to engage, and they are as imperfect as us men.

I usually lurk but this is crazy, if you have a spouse who is denying you sex and you have explained how important a sex life is to your contentment, you have the right get it else where. Sexual compatability is an unspoken marriage vow that situations may change but should not permanently alter unless you are ill. These women are playing head games with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was his passive aggressive way of asking for a divorce.

Hope he gets it!

Me too! He should be with a wife who doesn't ignore important needs while she selfishly watches sitcom reruns.

Wow. Entitled much?

Why is she entitled to make him so miserable?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she just has a low sex drive.

That is not a valid excuse at all. If you are LD and you know your DH has a high desire and you don't meet halfway, what does that say about you? Selfish? Hell yeah! A low sex drive is not a valid excuse. You are in a marriage.

Seflish? So you need to have an orgasm. You need her body to have one. She's selfish? Do you try any other type of intimacy, or does touching always end in you getting a piece? is there affection in your marriage, kindness, other kinds of expressions of caring, or is she that bowl of ice cream you need at the end of a long day's work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little doubt that she's cheating during the 11-day trip.

doubt it. most women don't want sex

Statistics don't like up with what you're saying.

-hd woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little doubt that she's cheating during the 11-day trip.

doubt it. most women don't want sex

Statistics don't like up with what you're saying.

-hd woman

You being HD doesn't cut it. PP is right. If PP was wrong, you'd see lots of male brothels/AMPs for women/ gigglos on the streets of vegas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the gender roles were reversed, there would be no question: he would be the villain for rejecting his wife 9/10 times. He would be called gay or presumed to be cheating. People would be telling her to get a divorce from this loser.

Women can be a bit hypocritical about this stuff.

That's because they feel entitled to have the man be the initiator.

High drive wife with lower drive husband here. I do wish that my husband initiated at least half the time, yes. I initiate about 80% of the time, and yeah, I keep track of how long it's been since we've had sex. Yeah, it does make H self conscious and feel cornered sometimes, but if I don't keep track, he'll say, "oh, it hasn't been that long," when it's been two weeks. He just doesn't desire sex like I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the gender roles were reversed, there would be no question: he would be the villain for rejecting his wife 9/10 times. He would be called gay or presumed to be cheating. People would be telling her to get a divorce from this loser.

Women can be a bit hypocritical about this stuff.

That's because they feel entitled to have the man be the initiator.

It has been my experience that men can get their ego or manliness bruised if the woman initiates too often.

Erroneous! Is there a single man here that doesn't want their wife or girlfriend to initiate more often?

My husband. He can't wait until I get my period because he knows he gets a whole week off from me initiating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was his passive aggressive way of asking for a divorce.

Hope he gets it!

Me too! He should be with a wife who doesn't ignore important needs while she selfishly watches sitcom reruns.

Wow. Entitled much?

Since when does an important need mean entitled ??

Sorry, but marriage doesn't mean your wife is required to scratch your every itch whenever the mood strikes. What makes your need for sex any more "important" than her need for a different kind of relaxation? The example in this thread may be extreme but you seem to be advocating the opposite extreme--that a man should never hear the word no because sex is an "important need".

Do you or do you not think sex is more important than TV the night before a 10 day business trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little doubt that she's cheating during the 11-day trip.

doubt it. most women don't want sex

Statistics don't like up with what you're saying.

-hd woman

You being HD doesn't cut it. PP is right. If PP was wrong, you'd see lots of male brothels/AMPs for women/ gigglos on the streets of vegas

No. I will never be so randy that I go pay a stranger for sex. That's repulsive, probably because women have different attraction triggers than men.

What do you mean by "being hd doesn't cut it?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My take on the spreadsheet is it was a last ditch attempt at making her realize it's an issue. He probably brought it up before only to be brushed off or to have her minimize and claim they had sex all the time. No doubt it's a jerk move but it was probably his last option. Damn, he's 26 and in a near sexless marriage! He's probably so close to done the ramifications of this thing don't concern him in the least.

I will say, this story made me initiate sex with my husband last night. We have sex a lot more often than 3x every 7 weeks but there's still times I just don't feel like it for whatever reason and don't initiate or call off. My husband can thank this dude for giving me a kick in the pants.

This thread made me back off and realize that normal drive women would probably be happy with it every five or six days, and I just need to take care of myself more often and not bother him more for sex.

[Anonymous]

Two thoughts:

1) They need to divorce. Why would anyone stay in this type of relationship if there are no kids involved? The sex is only going to get worse when the kids come.

2) I have no idea whose "fault" this is, but the only solution for this husband (or any other spouse being denied sex that regularly) is to get/stay in shape, stop sulking, be as attractive as you can, and if your spouse won't sleep with you, you won't have any trouble finding someone who will.

-signed, Husband who has found success with #2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two thoughts:

1) They need to divorce. Why would anyone stay in this type of relationship if there are no kids involved? The sex is only going to get worse when the kids come.

2) I have no idea whose "fault" this is, but the only solution for this husband (or any other spouse being denied sex that regularly) is to get/stay in shape, stop sulking, be as attractive as you can, and if your spouse won't sleep with you, you won't have any trouble finding someone who will.

-signed, Husband who has found success with #2.

Ditto, signed Wife who has found success with #2 also.

[Anonymous]

"Do you or do you not think sex is more important than TV the night before a 10 day business trip?"

It's certainly not good for a relationship (marriage or otherwise) for partners to be sexually on different pages. It's the kiss of death for some relationships.

HOWEVER.

Anyone has the right to not have sex if they don't want to. Their reasons are their own and it is really not okay to say, well, this reason is legitimate but that one isn't. I understand that sex is important, but all this talk of "denying" sex makes it sound like sex is something one partner gives to another, rather than something that two willing adults do TOGETHER.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. The needs of both partners need to be considered. It sounds like this lady was not considering her husband's needs, but many of the posters on this thread are not considering her needs, or are saying that her reasons for not wanting to have sex are not valid. Marriage doesn't mean ownership over a person's body. Any person, male or female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Do you or do you not think sex is more important than TV the night before a 10 day business trip?"

It's certainly not good for a relationship (marriage or otherwise) for partners to be sexually on different pages. It's the kiss of death for some relationships.

HOWEVER.

Anyone has the right to not have sex if they don't want to. Their reasons are their own and it is really not okay to say, well, this reason is legitimate but that one isn't. I understand that sex is important, but all this talk of "denying" sex makes it sound like sex is something one partner gives to another, rather than something that two willing adults do TOGETHER.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. The needs of both partners need to be considered. It sounds like this lady was not considering her husband's needs, but many of the posters on this thread are not considering her needs, or are saying that her reasons for not wanting to have sex are not valid. Marriage doesn't mean ownership over a person's body. Any person, male or female.

Okay then. My husband can deny me sex for whatever reason and also get into it halfheartedly. If done consistently, the laws of natural consequences take over, and I end up finding someone else who's equally hot for me and sex as I am for him and it.