Why do black people self-segregate?

[Anonymous]

Why do we have a bunch of race threads? Did the Politics Forum get boring?!

Why are people offended that people tend to hang out with people who are similar? I live in a pretty integrated neighborhood. We do things with our AA neighbors but they also do things together. I never thought it was due to race but rather it gets old hanging out with the same people all the time. (Variety is the spice of life, right?!) I don't assume everything boils down to race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

Or Loudoun County....

More black folks here than upper NW and Bethesda

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Well there you go. Did you ever think we are being nice to be nice? Because we want to find out more about you and be friends?

Instead of waiting for an invite to the SE DC BBQ, how about you just throw one and invite us? We don't bite... But we will make fun of your attempt to make soul food.

I threw out an invite to a group of friends to go camping. There were also two friends of friends that I invited as I had gotten to know them a bit, they seemed fun and adding them seemed like a good fit for the group. one of them was a black woman. When I invited her she basically broke out into gales of laughter telling me "black people don't sleep in tents and black people don't swim in lakes". She basically make fun of the fact that I had invited a 'black person to go camping' as that demonstrated to her I knew nothing about 'black people'. Anyways I am sure some black people do camp and do swim in lakes but her reaction made me hesitate to invite her to anything again, and made me very self conscious about inviting people where I might be breaking some unknown racial norm.

As a black person who does the things you describe, I have to say, generally what she said is true. My friends and family think I'm nuts. I've also heard "black people don't ice skate!" "Black people don't ski" and "black people don't eat sushi!" She wasn't making fun of you, this is just how we joke. She didn't want to go camping, but it wasn't a personal slight. You could try again and invite her to something black people "do".

AA mother and successful professional here. I generally agree with PP. I am 50 years old and no AA I knew growing up did any of the activities you described. I remember going on a couple of ski trips. It could have been because I lived in the city, our parents worked all the time, lack of exposure, etc. I went to predominately black schools until high school, an HBCU in undergrad and a top 10 law school. Law school in the mid 80s was really the first time I was exposed daily to white people and a lot of the white students came from affluent households and had little encounters with black people unless they were domestics. I always felt more comfortable ganging out with black students. I am a successful lawyer and am often the only black person in meetings. I work in-house for a large company. I have gotten used to it, unfortunately, and do not feel inhibited but at the end of the day, I'm done with white folks and don't want them in my life after work or on the weekends if I can help it. I have to attend board meetings out of town and find those the worst. I find most white people incredibly boring and shallow. I literally count down the days I can get on a plane and go home. I switch gears to my kids who attend an expensive private school. They are always around white kids and completely comfortable. My daughter is the only black girl in her grade and is confident and comfortable in her own skin. My son is popular and very well liked by his white peers. They have a solid core of black friends at school and on weekends. They are athletic and play all the sports that at one time were traditionally thought of as white sports -- competitive swimming, volleyball, lacrosse, softball. They also play on their school basketball teams. But, I am protective of them especially my son. I am watchful of covert racism and am on the offensive to protect my son. I also don't hesitant to let the school know in subtle ways I am a skilled attorney and will break out the "can of kick ass" if necessary. So far, my kids are successful academically, athletically and socially around their white peers but I am always on the lookout because deep down I don't trust white people. Yes, OP, represents the white entitlement attitude that a lot of white folks have. And, no, I don't want to be friends with you or your friends. Period. And, I also don't care what you think of me. Too old for that now and I live my life as I please in my 2 million dollar house with a swimming pool.

You are VERY insecure to end your post with that line.

The irony is oozing . . . And as a lawyer, skilled in rhetoric, I'm surprised you didn't catch that one.

how sad for you and your kids

[Anonymous]

Like I said, don't care what you think, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be honest. I find it difficult to relate to and to fully trust white people. I feel like I have to watch my every word around you, lest I be judged or bring down judgement on my entire race. When a white person does something foolish, they represent no one but themselves. When a black person does something foolish, its attributed to the whole race, because there are usually only a few of us. I have a bad day and I a black woman with an attitude. I make a grammatical error, and I speak ebonics. I wear a shirt with a bold print, its ghetto fab. I wear my natural hair down, its unprofessional.

When I'm around white people, I feel like I'm on stage. In my free time, I want to be comfortable and myself, so my close friends tend to be other minorities, or white people that I've known for a long time and have made clear that they accept and understand me.

This is me. I have a few white girlfriends, but I am free to be me around them. I do not have to perform, talk differently, act differently, pretend to think differently. I have known and been friends with these women for 20+ years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
AA mother and successful professional here. I generally agree with PP. I am 50 years old and no AA I knew growing up did any of the activities you described. I remember going on a couple of ski trips. It could have been because I lived in the city, our parents worked all the time, lack of exposure, etc. I went to predominately black schools until high school, an HBCU in undergrad and a top 10 law school. Law school in the mid 80s was really the first time I was exposed daily to white people and a lot of the white students came from affluent households and had little encounters with black people unless they were domestics. I always felt more comfortable ganging out with black students. I am a successful lawyer and am often the only black person in meetings. I work in-house for a large company. I have gotten used to it, unfortunately, and do not feel inhibited but at the end of the day, I'm done with white folks and don't want them in my life after work or on the weekends if I can help it. I have to attend board meetings out of town and find those the worst. I find most white people incredibly boring and shallow. I literally count down the days I can get on a plane and go home. I switch gears to my kids who attend an expensive private school. They are always around white kids and completely comfortable. My daughter is the only black girl in her grade and is confident and comfortable in her own skin. My son is popular and very well liked by his white peers. They have a solid core of black friends at school and on weekends. They are athletic and play all the sports that at one time were traditionally thought of as white sports -- competitive swimming, volleyball, lacrosse, softball. They also play on their school basketball teams. But, I am protective of them especially my son. I am watchful of covert racism and am on the offensive to protect my son. I also don't hesitant to let the school know in subtle ways I am a skilled attorney and will break out the "can of kick ass" if necessary. So far, my kids are successful academically, athletically and socially around their white peers but I am always on the lookout because deep down I don't trust white people. Yes, OP, represents the white entitlement attitude that a lot of white folks have. And, no, I don't want to be friends with you or your friends. Period. And, I also don't care what you think of me. Too old for that now and I live my life as I please in my 2 million dollar house with a swimming pool.

Seriously consider therapy. You have major issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like I said, don't care what you think, PP.

Yes, you do - or else you wouldn't have posted twice.

You need serious help. Get some before your insecurity rubs off on your kids.

[Anonymous]

We all need therapy. I am white but I think all wealthy people feel that way about people of a different SES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know the expression the "White Man's Burden" that is used to describe the guilt of slavery? Well there's a yin to every yang. Self-segregation is a side effect of the "Black Man's Burden" which describes the guilt of the skin he's in. It's a white world. Been that way since blacks first set foot on these shores and while shit ain't as bad as it used to be its still some shit. It's a white mans world and blacks find the strength to survive it emotionally and psychologically as well as advance is by embracing their exclusion and always being wary of white folks.

That is not what white mans burden means.

Indeed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_White_Man%27s_Burden

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

AA mother and successful professional here. I generally agree with PP. I am 50 years old and no AA I knew growing up did any of the activities you described. I remember going on a couple of ski trips. It could have been because I lived in the city, our parents worked all the time, lack of exposure, etc. I went to predominately black schools until high school, an HBCU in undergrad and a top 10 law school. Law school in the mid 80s was really the first time I was exposed daily to white people and a lot of the white students came from affluent households and had little encounters with black people unless they were domestics. I always felt more comfortable ganging out with black students. I am a successful lawyer and am often the only black person in meetings. I work in-house for a large company. I have gotten used to it, unfortunately, and do not feel inhibited but at the end of the day, I'm done with white folks and don't want them in my life after work or on the weekends if I can help it. I have to attend board meetings out of town and find those the worst. I find most white people incredibly boring and shallow. I literally count down the days I can get on a plane and go home. I switch gears to my kids who attend an expensive private school. They are always around white kids and completely comfortable. My daughter is the only black girl in her grade and is confident and comfortable in her own skin. My son is popular and very well liked by his white peers. They have a solid core of black friends at school and on weekends. They are athletic and play all the sports that at one time were traditionally thought of as white sports -- competitive swimming, volleyball, lacrosse, softball. They also play on their school basketball teams. But, I am protective of them especially my son. I am watchful of covert racism and am on the offensive to protect my son. I also don't hesitant to let the school know in subtle ways I am a skilled attorney and will break out the "can of kick ass" if necessary. So far, my kids are successful academically, athletically and socially around their white peers but I am always on the lookout because deep down I don't trust white people. Yes, OP, represents the white entitlement attitude that a lot of white folks have. And, no, I don't want to be friends with you or your friends. Period. And, I also don't care what you think of me. Too old for that now and I live my life as I please in my 2 million dollar house with a swimming pool.

This post makes me very very sad. I guess our country is doomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like I said, don't care what you think, PP.

Yes, you do - or else you wouldn't have posted twice.

You need serious help. Get some before your insecurity rubs off on your kids.

Not PP but you posted twice also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

AA mother and successful professional here. I generally agree with PP. I am 50 years old and no AA I knew growing up did any of the activities you described. I remember going on a couple of ski trips. It could have been because I lived in the city, our parents worked all the time, lack of exposure, etc. I went to predominately black schools until high school, an HBCU in undergrad and a top 10 law school. Law school in the mid 80s was really the first time I was exposed daily to white people and a lot of the white students came from affluent households and had little encounters with black people unless they were domestics. I always felt more comfortable ganging out with black students. I am a successful lawyer and am often the only black person in meetings. I work in-house for a large company. I have gotten used to it, unfortunately, and do not feel inhibited but at the end of the day, I'm done with white folks and don't want them in my life after work or on the weekends if I can help it. I have to attend board meetings out of town and find those the worst. I find most white people incredibly boring and shallow. I literally count down the days I can get on a plane and go home. I switch gears to my kids who attend an expensive private school. They are always around white kids and completely comfortable. My daughter is the only black girl in her grade and is confident and comfortable in her own skin. My son is popular and very well liked by his white peers. They have a solid core of black friends at school and on weekends. They are athletic and play all the sports that at one time were traditionally thought of as white sports -- competitive swimming, volleyball, lacrosse, softball. They also play on their school basketball teams. But, I am protective of them especially my son. I am watchful of covert racism and am on the offensive to protect my son. I also don't hesitant to let the school know in subtle ways I am a skilled attorney and will break out the "can of kick ass" if necessary. So far, my kids are successful academically, athletically and socially around their white peers but I am always on the lookout because deep down I don't trust white people. Yes, OP, represents the white entitlement attitude that a lot of white folks have. And, no, I don't want to be friends with you or your friends. Period. And, I also don't care what you think of me. Too old for that now and I live my life as I please in my 2 million dollar house with a swimming pool.

This post makes me very very sad. I guess our country is doomed.

The country was doomed long before that poster made her remarks. I surmise that her opinions are based on experiences. You should feel sad for the situations and people that cause(d) her to feel the way she does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Ding dong, I feel ya sista.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think white folks understand just how taxing being a minority is in this country. White people always eyeing you funny, smiling at you all scared-like, clutching their purses unconsciously and damn near snatching their kids away from you ALL DAY EVERY DAY. The shit never stops whether I'm on the Metro or on the elevator to my office or in line to get my muthaf#kin morning coffee just like everybody else white folks always flinching and grinning simultaneously...it's f#king unnerving. I don't wanna be around that shit any longer than I have to.

WOW, this shyt is soooo true!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like I said, don't care what you think, PP.

Yes, you do - or else you wouldn't have posted twice.

You need serious help. Get some before your insecurity rubs off on your kids.

It's me again-- AA mom and professional. Clutch the pearls -- why can't y'all just process that some black folks just aren't into you? You want to write off black people who don't care about you as insecure and needing help, which I find comical. It's because I or someone else just don't care. It's that simple. Let that think into your self-centered head.