Why do black people self-segregate?

[Anonymous]

I live in CA, West Coast where race issues are really no big deal. In this forum, there are a lot of race-related things on here that seem like a big-deal to people.

Is race a bigger deal on the East Coast??

Out here, no one cares. No one blinks an eye over interracial couples on the streets. Or is all blacks eat at one table and Asians eat at another.

Like, what is the big deal.

[Anonymous]

If there's one thing I've learned growing up here in the Washington DC Metropolitan Area its that you can't throw blanket judgements out there about anyone in this town.
The "all black people this" and "all white people that" crap is for the birds.

This city is way too small and way too diverse and way too transient for all that stereotype bullshit. I mean seriously, this tiny ass city is the nation's capital and its mufuh's of all different races, cultures, countries, incomes, educations, and a thousand other elements about individuals we interact with daily that contradict conventional stereotypes...I mean every day you can find yourself observing tourists, emissaries, interns, students, state and federal officials, white collar government workers and blue collar private industry laborers...the list goes on and on.

Way I see it, it is impossible to be a Washington DC Metropolitan Area resident and retain those archaic ignorant impressions of "all white people this" or "all black people that" unless you are just totally f#cking ignorant beyond explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think white folks understand just how taxing being a minority is in this country. White people always eyeing you funny, smiling at you all scared-like, clutching their purses unconsciously and damn near snatching their kids away from you ALL DAY EVERY DAY. The shit never stops whether I'm on the Metro or on the elevator to my office or in line to get my muthaf#kin morning coffee just like everybody else white folks always flinching and grinning simultaneously...it's f#king unnerving. I don't wanna be around that shit any longer than I have to.

WOW, this shyt is soooo true!!!!

Have you ever considered that its not what you think it is?

For example, the other day I was carrying a few bags on one hand and my purse in the other. A black guy turned the corner and headed in my direction. I switched the purse to the other arm so it wouldn't hit him when we passed each other. I realized after he passed that he might have thought that I switched it because he was black. I felt bad about it because that wasn't my intention at all -- in fact my intention was good.

That unspoken misunderstanding (if there even was one), isn't going to get rectified if everyone plays in their own corners.

Ummhmm, yeah, ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in CA, West Coast where race issues are really no big deal. In this forum, there are a lot of race-related things on here that seem like a big-deal to people.

Is race a bigger deal on the East Coast??

Out here, no one cares. No one blinks an eye over interracial couples on the streets. Or is all blacks eat at one table and Asians eat at another.

Like, what is the big deal.

Groovy, man. Have you, like, ever been to the East Coast?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in CA, West Coast where race issues are really no big deal. In this forum, there are a lot of race-related things on here that seem like a big-deal to people.

Is race a bigger deal on the East Coast??

Out here, no one cares. No one blinks an eye over interracial couples on the streets. Or is all blacks eat at one table and Asians eat at another.

Like, what is the big deal.

Groovy, man. Have you, like, ever been to the East Coast?

One of the things I really miss from the West Coast is precisely the lack of racial BS, as PP describes. Even in NY or Boston you don't feel it. But its hard to avoid it in DC, where AAs are the majority and it seems the shoes are too large for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know lots of nice white people that I am friendly with. We socialize but I cannot say that I can connect emotionally with them. I find them intrinsically self focused and hardened. I find their relationship with their parents, siblings, kids - distant. Even the most functional families have this dysfunction. It astounds, disturbs and scares me. Their friendly outward persona makes me suspicious of them, because I do not see any emotional integrity behind that facade. Their capability to move on easily in the even of a death, divorce, breakup - may be a necessity of their culture, society, family dynamics or even a sigh of their independence and maturity - but it makes them seem less than intact to me.

I am Asian. I tend to not count on them or depend on them, even if I make myself accessible to them for the same. Many of them count me as their close friend, based on the fact that I will come through for them again and again. But this is because of my cultural training. I want to oblige but not be under anyone's obligation. I am so sure that in times of need they will not come through for me and so I am not emotionally invested in them.

This is what I have found. I am a black woman married to a white man, but he is an ethnic minority among whites. The white men I dated were to me, just down right shallow. They did not seem to have the passionate love of family that other minorities did. Only in some white minorities did I see that passion. I sometimes think it is an evolutionary necessity that separates them. It might have something to do with their relative "success". The ability to detach might have been the only way to survive in that world.
Wow, when I think back on a couple of my former white (really white) boyfriends, zero, zippo in the area of deep everlasting love for family, culture and so on. Yes, flame me and the pp, but something is off kilter in that Northern European culture.

White people don't allow family to treat them like shit and take advantage of them and then brush it off by saying "oh, but we're family." So you're right, in general, we don't have a blind allegiance to our blood relatives.

Wow, do you know any co-dependent relatives of addicts? Jeez, there are lots of white people who enable their addicted relatives to sponge off of them. What planet do you live on?

The pp may be right, but it might not be because they "don't allow...", it may be because they are inherently selfish. They do allow themselves the privilege of things like slavery though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in CA, West Coast where race issues are really no big deal. In this forum, there are a lot of race-related things on here that seem like a big-deal to people.

Is race a bigger deal on the East Coast??

Out here, no one cares. No one blinks an eye over interracial couples on the streets. Or is all blacks eat at one table and Asians eat at another.

Like, what is the big deal.

Groovy, man. Have you, like, ever been to the East Coast?

One of the things I really miss from the West Coast is precisely the lack of racial BS, as PP describes. Even in NY or Boston you don't feel it. But its hard to avoid it in DC, where AAs are the majority and it seems the shoes are too large for them.

Are the shoes too large or are their voices too loud?
Sounds more like someone prefers the barely audible murmurs of communities with a black minority over the incessant echoes of a community with a larger black populace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be racist you must have power to oppress another group of people.

Thank you! I swear people will never get that there is a difference between racism and prejudice. I love it when white people call Black people racist. Ha!!! Impossible!!!

really?

My black boss has used her power to bully white females. One colleague recently filed a complaint against her.

She is a racist. She hates whites and has made that clear on many occasions. It's all been documented. I expect others to follow soon enough b/c once that ball gets rolling . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:" I find them intrinsically self focused and hardened. I find their relationship with their parents, siblings, kids - distant. Even the most functional families have this dysfunction. It astounds, disturbs and scares me. Their friendly outward persona makes me suspicious of them, because I do not see any emotional integrity behind that facade. Their capability to move on easily in the even of a death, divorce, breakup - may be a necessity of their culture, society, family dynamics or even a sigh of their independence and maturity - but it makes them seem less than intact to me. "

This is why lots of AA people will always be poor - willing to support scads of extended family financially. I just don't get that.

This is true across many cultures. You do realize that, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in CA, West Coast where race issues are really no big deal. In this forum, there are a lot of race-related things on here that seem like a big-deal to people.

Is race a bigger deal on the East Coast??

Out here, no one cares. No one blinks an eye over interracial couples on the streets. Or is all blacks eat at one table and Asians eat at another.

Like, what is the big deal.

I don't know, Shaggy. You tell us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:" I find them intrinsically self focused and hardened. I find their relationship with their parents, siblings, kids - distant. Even the most functional families have this dysfunction. It astounds, disturbs and scares me. Their friendly outward persona makes me suspicious of them, because I do not see any emotional integrity behind that facade. Their capability to move on easily in the even of a death, divorce, breakup - may be a necessity of their culture, society, family dynamics or even a sign of their independence and maturity - but it makes them seem less than intact to me. "

This is why lots of AA people will always be poor - willing to support scads of extended family financially. I just don't get that.

AA people are poor because of slavery and the the systemic racism that they endured here, in the same way India is a poor country because of 200 years of looting and pillage by the British Raj. Will they always be in this situation? No, hopefully things are changing for AA as things are changing for some of the nations that were colonized by western countries.

Having said that, I am thankful to you for providing me the perfect anecdotal example of a "self focused, hardened, lacking emotional integrity" reaction of a white person. Considering that AA families were torn apart because of slavery (and the prison system) - and all the hardships they go through - they still have a notion of what a family is, and they will inconvenience themselves for family and pick up the slack where it is required. That is a credit to this community because they do have each others back.

I feel sorry for anyone who does not have this support. They are to be pitied. And since you learn to become a part of a support structure for others only if others have provided/provide the same support to you - someone who does not get why families support each other, is incapable of any kind of deep emotional connection with anyone else.

I am not AA, I am Asian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be racist you must have power to oppress another group of people.

Thank you! I swear people will never get that there is a difference between racism and prejudice. I love it when white people call Black people racist. Ha!!! Impossible!!!

really?

My black boss has used her power to bully white females. One colleague recently filed a complaint against her.

She is a racist. She hates whites and has made that clear on many occasions. It's all been documented. I expect others to follow soon enough b/c once that ball gets rolling . . .

You're speaking of one individual in a controlled environment where - yes, he's the boss and he has power.
But we talking about blacks as a whole in society not one dude in a funky office. Blacks as a whole in society own nothing and control nothing and preside over nothing whereas whites as a whole own everything and control everything and preside over everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be racist you must have power to oppress another group of people.

Thank you! I swear people will never get that there is a difference between racism and prejudice. I love it when white people call Black people racist. Ha!!! Impossible!!!

really?

My black boss has used her power to bully white females. One colleague recently filed a complaint against her.

She is a racist. She hates whites and has made that clear on many occasions. It's all been documented. I expect others to follow soon enough b/c once that ball gets rolling . . .

You're speaking of one individual in a controlled environment where - yes, he's the boss and he has power.
But we talking about blacks as a whole in society not one dude in a funky office. Blacks as a whole in society own nothing and control nothing and preside over nothing whereas whites as a whole own everything and control everything and preside over everything.

Someone just shot a weapon in the zoo, which had to be evacuated.

Care to guess the race of said shooter?

[Anonymous]

I find it harder to relate in different types of situations. If I say I'm going to the beach, saying I don't need a tan isn't helpful. I'm really not sure why that black mom has her son in those shoes. No, I'm not sure why you think my natural hair feels like Brillo. Comments like these from roommates and colleagues make it difficult for me to relate to the experiences of the white women in my life. I don't feel the need to ask why that white woman has grown her sons hair long or to inquire about sunburns if you say you are going to the beach. It feels like there's a different level of what can be said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in CA, West Coast where race issues are really no big deal. In this forum, there are a lot of race-related things on here that seem like a big-deal to people.

Is race a bigger deal on the East Coast??

Out here, no one cares. No one blinks an eye over interracial couples on the streets. Or is all blacks eat at one table and Asians eat at another.

Like, what is the big deal.

Black woman here. This is why I miss Southern California. I was born here in DC and left after college to get away from this place. I moved back to be closer to family. However, San Diego is a better fit for my interracial family than DC. I miss living in a place where race isn't the primary focus of the city's culture. I lived in Miami, San Diego, Houston, and Seattle. Out of all of these cities DC by far is the most racially charged place that I've ever lived. Damn, even Austin and Houston isn't this divided. That's why I'm counting on my days to exit this city. Southern California here I come!

DC is like a breeding ground for racists. Compared to the west coast DC is behind the times.