Why do black people self-segregate?

Forum Index » Off-Topic
[Post New]04/18/2014 18:51
Anonymous
Genuine question, NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE. I'm just perplexed that the AA community in my experience tends to be so cliquey and only socializes among themselves. I see this all the time in the workplace, and I saw it in college too. I mean, black fraternities and black sororities in college was understandable, because the AA community had to endure the Jim Crow era and most other minority groups emigrated to America after the civil rights movement. But while I've always managed to establish surface-friendly connections with black classmates and black colleagues, it's not like they invite me to movies or summer barbeques or get drinks with me every week - but classmates and colleagues of other races intermingle so easily. (I'm a white female, early thirties, married to a white male).

Even if you look at Silicon Valley (where we lived before moving to DC), you see every race intermingling and starting companies and new products in the tech industry, except from the AA community.

Is it self-segregation? AA people live in their own bubble and their own sub-culture and don't really come out of it. And they view you with wariness and a sense of uncertainty even when you're being really nice and friendly to them, and they're being nice and friendly back to you - but still that uncertainty is there and you can see it in their eyes. "Like, who is this girl? I don't feel comfortable talking to her." I've had that experience repeatedly with AA women - never with women of other groups.

Again, I'm NOT trying to offend, this is just something that I have observed personally.
[Post New]04/18/2014 18:55
Anonymous
African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.
[Post New]04/18/2014 18:56
Anonymous
I don't think African Americans are unique in this. Latinos do it too (even ones who are assimilated and speak English). I mean, they're friendly, but contained. It's human nature, I guess.
[Post New]04/18/2014 18:57
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.


Well there you go. Did you ever think we are being nice to be nice? Because we want to find out more about you and be friends?
[Post New]04/18/2014 19:00
Anonymous
Every group prefers its own. Races, religions, ethnicities. And then you get certain people who will gravitate towards anyone but their own, whatever that is. Human nature.

[Post New]04/18/2014 19:00
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.


Well there you go. Did you ever think we are being nice to be nice? Because we want to find out more about you and be friends?


Instead of waiting for an invite to the SE DC BBQ, how about you just throw one and invite us? We don't bite... But we will make fun of your attempt to make soul food.
[Post New]04/18/2014 19:00
Anonymous
I'm the OP. I'm not trying extra hard to be nice to an AA woman because she's an AA woman - come on, how condescending is that?

I'm a girl's girl. I like other women. 99% of my friends are women so when I'm getting along with a woman, and she happens to be AA, I'll try and relate to her and chat. But while the AA lady will be receptive and friendly ON THE SURFACE, it never goes deeper - she keeps a wall up, where other women don't. I can't ask her out to the movies. She makes excuses to avoid outings and hangs out with only her black friends, etc.
[Post New]04/18/2014 19:02
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP. I'm not trying extra hard to be nice to an AA woman because she's an AA woman - come on, how condescending is that?

I'm a girl's girl. I like other women. 99% of my friends are women so when I'm getting along with a woman, and she happens to be AA, I'll try and relate to her and chat. But while the AA lady will be receptive and friendly ON THE SURFACE, it never goes deeper - she keeps a wall up, where other women don't. I can't ask her out to the movies. She makes excuses to avoid outings and hangs out with only her black friends, etc.


Maybe she just doesn't like you... Big deal?
[Post New]04/18/2014 19:03
Anonymous
OP here - this is something I've seen as a pattern since college. Not only towards me, but to anyone who is not black in general. Otherwise I wouldn't comment on it.
[Post New]04/18/2014 19:06
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP. I'm not trying extra hard to be nice to an AA woman because she's an AA woman - come on, how condescending is that?

I'm a girl's girl. I like other women. 99% of my friends are women so when I'm getting along with a woman, and she happens to be AA, I'll try and relate to her and chat. But while the AA lady will be receptive and friendly ON THE SURFACE, it never goes deeper - she keeps a wall up, where other women don't. I can't ask her out to the movies. She makes excuses to avoid outings and hangs out with only her black friends, etc.



Maybe you come as fake. Maybe she doesn't want any more friends, or commitments. Her specific behavior doesn't reflect the way all black people act.

Maybe you come off as annoying. You certainly do here, to me. And I'm white.
[Post New]04/18/2014 19:06
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP. I'm not trying extra hard to be nice to an AA woman because she's an AA woman - come on, how condescending is that?

I'm a girl's girl. I like other women. 99% of my friends are women so when I'm getting along with a woman, and she happens to be AA, I'll try and relate to her and chat. But while the AA lady will be receptive and friendly ON THE SURFACE, it never goes deeper - she keeps a wall up, where other women don't. I can't ask her out to the movies. She makes excuses to avoid outings and hangs out with only her black friends, etc.


Maybe she just doesn't like you... Big deal?


Not a big deal. OP is simply asking is there is a pattern here or not.
[Post New]04/18/2014 19:07
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP. I'm not trying extra hard to be nice to an AA woman because she's an AA woman - come on, how condescending is that?

I'm a girl's girl. I like other women. 99% of my friends are women so when I'm getting along with a woman, and she happens to be AA, I'll try and relate to her and chat. But while the AA lady will be receptive and friendly ON THE SURFACE, it never goes deeper - she keeps a wall up, where other women don't. I can't ask her out to the movies. She makes excuses to avoid outings and hangs out with only her black friends, etc.



Maybe you come as fake. Maybe she doesn't want any more friends, or commitments. Her specific behavior doesn't reflect the way all black people act.

Maybe you come off as annoying. You certainly do here, to me. And I'm white.


Agree and I'm black...
[Post New]04/18/2014 19:08
Anonymous
Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.
[Post New]04/18/2014 19:11
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.


So they tend to have one black friend as to avoid being labeled a racist.
[Post New]04/18/2014 19:14
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.


So they tend to have one black friend as to avoid being labeled a racist.


Hey, the one-black-friend credibility works on sitcoms and commercials. At least that's what the marketing executives would have us believe.
Forum Index » Off-Topic
Go to: 

Search   Recent Topics   Hottest Topics