Why do black people self-segregate?

[Anonymous]

"Sink" but you need to think too...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like I said, don't care what you think, PP.

Yes, you do - or else you wouldn't have posted twice.

You need serious help. Get some before your insecurity rubs off on your kids.

It's me again-- AA mom and professional. Clutch the pearls -- why can't y'all just process that some black folks just aren't into you? You want to write off black people who don't care about you as insecure and needing help, which I find comical. It's because I or someone else just don't care. It's that simple. Let that think into your self-centered head.

No, I think the PP can see about you what you cannot see about yourself. And that's okay; we all have blind spots about ourselves that are obvious to pretty much everyone, and you chose to write at length about yours giving everyone an ample view. And then you chose to insult PP, calling him/her self-centered when they've written about four sentences, none of which indicate self-centeredness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Ding dong, I feel ya sista.

The belief that some people have that they can read minds is truly astonishing. Neither of you knows why people are nice to you, although clearly you imagine you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

+1000

You're so unbelievably stupid. Black people congregate with other blacks to feel the level of ease that you are privileged to have EVERY DAMN DAY. You are CONSTANTLY surrounded by people of your race. Its not hard for you to find someone with whom you have a shared experience, outlook, or background. The same is not so easily found for most minorities.

Given that enormous chip on your shoulder, I have to wonder, do you realize there are many countries you could move to?

I'm assuming that this poster means "If we don't like it, go back to Africa". Yep, that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like I said, don't care what you think, PP.

Yes, you do - or else you wouldn't have posted twice.

You need serious help. Get some before your insecurity rubs off on your kids.

It's me again-- AA mom and professional. Clutch the pearls -- why can't y'all just process that some black folks just aren't into you? You want to write off black people who don't care about you as insecure and needing help, which I find comical. It's because I or someone else just don't care. It's that simple. Let that think into your self-centered head.

No, I think the PP can see about you what you cannot see about yourself. And that's okay; we all have blind spots about ourselves that are obvious to pretty much everyone, and you chose to write at length about yours giving everyone an ample view. And then you chose to insult PP, calling him/her self-centered when they've written about four sentences, none of which indicate self-centeredness.

Not the PP but the poster told her she needed serious help and when she retorts, you say she insults the PP. Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work with about 30-40% AA, 50% white, and 10-20% Asian - both east and west. I notice that AA coworkers are invited to and attend the housewarming, holiday, and other parties white coworkers have - but do not invite white coworkers over. How integrated the Asians are depends mostly on how many generations they have been in the US rather than country of origin. We are all upper middle class and college educated. I have noticed it, but I am not offended.

Here is a recent article from Slate that points out that the desire to stay close to other AA families may limit economic mobility in the AA community. I found it interesting because when I lived in Chicago I noticed that my AA coworkers who moved to Chicago from other places tended to live in predominantly AA neighborhoods even though they were transplants / newcomers and could presumably have chosen to live in "whiter" neighborhoods with neighbors more similar to them in terms of education and earning power.

The Single Fact That Explains Why Black Americans Have Such a Hard Time Climbing the Economic Ladder
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2014/04/desean_jackson_richard_sherman_and_black_american_economic_mobility_why.html

Wow you actually know the racial makeup of your coworkers right down to the percentage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like I said, don't care what you think, PP.

Yes, you do - or else you wouldn't have posted twice.

You need serious help. Get some before your insecurity rubs off on your kids.

Not PP but you posted twice also.

Yes, I did.

And now three time's a charm.

But I'm not the one living a double life for the sake of appearances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think white folks understand just how taxing being a minority is in this country. White people always eyeing you funny, smiling at you all scared-like, clutching their purses unconsciously and damn near snatching their kids away from you ALL DAY EVERY DAY. The shit never stops whether I'm on the Metro or on the elevator to my office or in line to get my muthaf#kin morning coffee just like everybody else white folks always flinching and grinning simultaneously...it's f#king unnerving. I don't wanna be around that shit any longer than I have to.

I fully understand, I work at the DCPS Central Office and we have race equity training, just to make all the new arrivals more comfortable around us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Well there you go. Did you ever think we are being nice to be nice? Because we want to find out more about you and be friends?

Instead of waiting for an invite to the SE DC BBQ, how about you just throw one and invite us? We don't bite... But we will make fun of your attempt to make soul food.

I threw out an invite to a group of friends to go camping. There were also two friends of friends that I invited as I had gotten to know them a bit, they seemed fun and adding them seemed like a good fit for the group. one of them was a black woman. When I invited her she basically broke out into gales of laughter telling me "black people don't sleep in tents and black people don't swim in lakes". She basically make fun of the fact that I had invited a 'black person to go camping' as that demonstrated to her I knew nothing about 'black people'. Anyways I am sure some black people do camp and do swim in lakes but her reaction made me hesitate to invite her to anything again, and made me very self conscious about inviting people where I might be breaking some unknown racial norm.

As a black person who does the things you describe, I have to say, generally what she said is true. My friends and family think I'm nuts. I've also heard "black people don't ice skate!" "Black people don't ski" and "black people don't eat sushi!" She wasn't making fun of you, this is just how we joke. She didn't want to go camping, but it wasn't a personal slight. You could try again and invite her to something black people "do".

AA mother and successful professional here. I generally agree with PP. I am 50 years old and no AA I knew growing up did any of the activities you described. I remember going on a couple of ski trips. It could have been because I lived in the city, our parents worked all the time, lack of exposure, etc. I went to predominately black schools until high school, an HBCU in undergrad and a top 10 law school. Law school in the mid 80s was really the first time I was exposed daily to white people and a lot of the white students came from affluent households and had little encounters with black people unless they were domestics. I always felt more comfortable ganging out with black students. I am a successful lawyer and am often the only black person in meetings. I work in-house for a large company. I have gotten used to it, unfortunately, and do not feel inhibited but at the end of the day, I'm done with white folks and don't want them in my life after work or on the weekends if I can help it. I have to attend board meetings out of town and find those the worst. I find most white people incredibly boring and shallow. I literally count down the days I can get on a plane and go home. I switch gears to my kids who attend an expensive private school. They are always around white kids and completely comfortable. My daughter is the only black girl in her grade and is confident and comfortable in her own skin. My son is popular and very well liked by his white peers. They have a solid core of black friends at school and on weekends. They are athletic and play all the sports that at one time were traditionally thought of as white sports -- competitive swimming, volleyball, lacrosse, softball. They also play on their school basketball teams. But, I am protective of them especially my son. I am watchful of covert racism and am on the offensive to protect my son. I also don't hesitant to let the school know in subtle ways I am a skilled attorney and will break out the "can of kick ass" if necessary. So far, my kids are successful academically, athletically and socially around their white peers but I am always on the lookout because deep down I don't trust white people. Yes, OP, represents the white entitlement attitude that a lot of white folks have. And, no, I don't want to be friends with you or your friends. Period. And, I also don't care what you think of me. Too old for that now and I live my life as I please in my 2 million dollar house with a swimming pool.

This is incredibly offensive. OP asked a question which brought out the racism and stereotypes of black people BY black people, and it's OP that's offensive. Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

Or Loudoun County....

Ashburn is exactly the definition of "white privilege, we just don't get it"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
AA mother and successful professional here. I generally agree with PP. I am 50 years old and no AA I knew growing up did any of the activities you described. I remember going on a couple of ski trips. It could have been because I lived in the city, our parents worked all the time, lack of exposure, etc. I went to predominately black schools until high school, an HBCU in undergrad and a top 10 law school. Law school in the mid 80s was really the first time I was exposed daily to white people and a lot of the white students came from affluent households and had little encounters with black people unless they were domestics. I always felt more comfortable ganging out with black students. I am a successful lawyer and am often the only black person in meetings. I work in-house for a large company. I have gotten used to it, unfortunately, and do not feel inhibited but at the end of the day, I'm done with white folks and don't want them in my life after work or on the weekends if I can help it. I have to attend board meetings out of town and find those the worst. I find most white people incredibly boring and shallow. I literally count down the days I can get on a plane and go home. I switch gears to my kids who attend an expensive private school. They are always around white kids and completely comfortable. My daughter is the only black girl in her grade and is confident and comfortable in her own skin. My son is popular and very well liked by his white peers. They have a solid core of black friends at school and on weekends. They are athletic and play all the sports that at one time were traditionally thought of as white sports -- competitive swimming, volleyball, lacrosse, softball. They also play on their school basketball teams. But, I am protective of them especially my son. I am watchful of covert racism and am on the offensive to protect my son. I also don't hesitant to let the school know in subtle ways I am a skilled attorney and will break out the "can of kick ass" if necessary. So far, my kids are successful academically, athletically and socially around their white peers but I am always on the lookout because deep down I don't trust white people. Yes, OP, represents the white entitlement attitude that a lot of white folks have. And, no, I don't want to be friends with you or your friends. Period. And, I also don't care what you think of me. Too old for that now and I live my life as I please in my 2 million dollar house with a swimming pool.

Seriously consider therapy. You have major issues.

Yeah as fellow negro, you just disgusted me. It has nothing to do with your perceived success, I'm just mad that I read a run - on paragraph of of you boasting and bragging and not one point relevant to the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
AA mother and successful professional here. I generally agree with PP. I am 50 years old and no AA I knew growing up did any of the activities you described. I remember going on a couple of ski trips. It could have been because I lived in the city, our parents worked all the time, lack of exposure, etc. I went to predominately black schools until high school, an HBCU in undergrad and a top 10 law school. Law school in the mid 80s was really the first time I was exposed daily to white people and a lot of the white students came from affluent households and had little encounters with black people unless they were domestics. I always felt more comfortable ganging out with black students. I am a successful lawyer and am often the only black person in meetings. I work in-house for a large company. I have gotten used to it, unfortunately, and do not feel inhibited but at the end of the day, I'm done with white folks and don't want them in my life after work or on the weekends if I can help it. I have to attend board meetings out of town and find those the worst. I find most white people incredibly boring and shallow. I literally count down the days I can get on a plane and go home. I switch gears to my kids who attend an expensive private school. They are always around white kids and completely comfortable. My daughter is the only black girl in her grade and is confident and comfortable in her own skin. My son is popular and very well liked by his white peers. They have a solid core of black friends at school and on weekends. They are athletic and play all the sports that at one time were traditionally thought of as white sports -- competitive swimming, volleyball, lacrosse, softball. They also play on their school basketball teams. But, I am protective of them especially my son. I am watchful of covert racism and am on the offensive to protect my son. I also don't hesitant to let the school know in subtle ways I am a skilled attorney and will break out the "can of kick ass" if necessary. So far, my kids are successful academically, athletically and socially around their white peers but I am always on the lookout because deep down I don't trust white people. Yes, OP, represents the white entitlement attitude that a lot of white folks have. And, no, I don't want to be friends with you or your friends. Period. And, I also don't care what you think of me. Too old for that now and I live my life as I please in my 2 million dollar house with a swimming pool.

Seriously consider therapy. You have major issues.

Yeah as fellow negro, you just disgusted me. It has nothing to do with your perceived success, I'm just mad that I read a run - on paragraph of of you boasting and bragging and not one point relevant to the topic.

right. It sounds like she has a real chip on her shoulder, and doesn't care if everyone knows it (anonymously of course)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Well there you go. Did you ever think we are being nice to be nice? Because we want to find out more about you and be friends?

Instead of waiting for an invite to the SE DC BBQ, how about you just throw one and invite us? We don't bite... But we will make fun of your attempt to make soul food.

I threw out an invite to a group of friends to go camping. There were also two friends of friends that I invited as I had gotten to know them a bit, they seemed fun and adding them seemed like a good fit for the group. one of them was a black woman. When I invited her she basically broke out into gales of laughter telling me "black people don't sleep in tents and black people don't swim in lakes". She basically make fun of the fact that I had invited a 'black person to go camping' as that demonstrated to her I knew nothing about 'black people'. Anyways I am sure some black people do camp and do swim in lakes but her reaction made me hesitate to invite her to anything again, and made me very self conscious about inviting people where I might be breaking some unknown racial norm.

As a black person who does the things you describe, I have to say, generally what she said is true. My friends and family think I'm nuts. I've also heard "black people don't ice skate!" "Black people don't ski" and "black people don't eat sushi!" She wasn't making fun of you, this is just how we joke. She didn't want to go camping, but it wasn't a personal slight. You could try again and invite her to something black people "do".

AA mother and successful professional here. I generally agree with PP. I am 50 years old and no AA I knew growing up did any of the activities you described. I remember going on a couple of ski trips. It could have been because I lived in the city, our parents worked all the time, lack of exposure, etc. I went to predominately black schools until high school, an HBCU in undergrad and a top 10 law school. Law school in the mid 80s was really the first time I was exposed daily to white people and a lot of the white students came from affluent households and had little encounters with black people unless they were domestics. I always felt more comfortable ganging out with black students. I am a successful lawyer and am often the only black person in meetings. I work in-house for a large company. I have gotten used to it, unfortunately, and do not feel inhibited but at the end of the day, I'm done with white folks and don't want them in my life after work or on the weekends if I can help it. I have to attend board meetings out of town and find those the worst. I find most white people incredibly boring and shallow. I literally count down the days I can get on a plane and go home. I switch gears to my kids who attend an expensive private school. They are always around white kids and completely comfortable. My daughter is the only black girl in her grade and is confident and comfortable in her own skin. My son is popular and very well liked by his white peers. They have a solid core of black friends at school and on weekends. They are athletic and play all the sports that at one time were traditionally thought of as white sports -- competitive swimming, volleyball, lacrosse, softball. They also play on their school basketball teams. But, I am protective of them especially my son. I am watchful of covert racism and am on the offensive to protect my son. I also don't hesitant to let the school know in subtle ways I am a skilled attorney and will break out the "can of kick ass" if necessary. So far, my kids are successful academically, athletically and socially around their white peers but I am always on the lookout because deep down I don't trust white people. Yes, OP, represents the white entitlement attitude that a lot of white folks have. And, no, I don't want to be friends with you or your friends. Period. And, I also don't care what you think of me. Too old for that now and I live my life as I please in my 2 million dollar house with a swimming pool.

Oh my...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like I said, don't care what you think, PP.

Yes, you do - or else you wouldn't have posted twice.

You need serious help. Get some before your insecurity rubs off on your kids.

It's me again-- AA mom and professional. Clutch the pearls -- why can't y'all just process that some black folks just aren't into you? You want to write off black people who don't care about you as insecure and needing help, which I find comical. It's because I or someone else just don't care. It's that simple. Let that think into your self-centered head.

No, I think the PP can see about you what you cannot see about yourself. And that's okay; we all have blind spots about ourselves that are obvious to pretty much everyone, and you chose to write at length about yours giving everyone an ample view. And then you chose to insult PP, calling him/her self-centered when they've written about four sentences, none of which indicate self-centeredness.

I actually agree with the PP who wrote the post. I think it is difficult for some white people to accept that some AAs (or other persons from ethnic or minority groups) may not be interested in getting to know them. It is offensive to those who probably can't fathom it. PP does not appear to be projecting her feelings on her kids or they would probably be in an all AA environment and have all AA friends. She seems to be giving her opinion based OPs original post about why black people seem to self-segregate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - this is something I've seen as a pattern since college. Not only towards me, but to anyone who is not black in general. Otherwise I wouldn't comment on it.

It's not you OP. Don't let the bullies get to you. I see similar.