Why won't my wife shop at Giant or Safeway like a normal person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My wife does the same, at first I wasn't for it, but now I'm sort of a convert. Compare a cooked chicken from TJ to one from Giant. It's night and day in terms of taste and quality. We still shop at Giants for some things like soap, TP, etc., but buy very little of anything that is eaten, except Ritz crackers..lol.

You mean buying a pre-cooked chicken from each, or buying raw chicken and cooking it?

We don't buy the cooked stuff, but I haven't noticed any difference in TJ (or WF) vs Giant when it comes to raw chicken. Actually Giant has Purdue chicken, as well as organic chicken, and then their store-brand chicken. There's plenty to choose from.

oops, I meant buying a raw chicken. I had no complaints in the past about Giant chicken, Purdue,etc, until I tasted a curried chickent from TJ. Oh boy, couldn't stop eating. Wife also shops @ MOMs.

[Anonymous]

Man up and keep her in line, she's testing boundaries and wants an alpha male response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll admit to being a (working) mom who spends around $1200 a month on groceries for 2 adults and 2 four year olds (twins) - not including eating out/ordering in. I have actually experimented going to Giant or Safeway first to buy everything that I found "acceptable" there (ie. not getting produce that's about to spoil, not having some of the 'better' (I know I may just be a sucker for the marketing) children's products, etc., and then going to Whole Foods for the rest. I did find I could save about $30-50 a week doing that (the 'club card' savings cut down on many basics) -- but it requires 2 trips to the grocery a week & remembering what to buy in each place. (Also from my 'research project' - comparable food items are comparably priced at TJ's vs. Giant/Safeway - but most of the items I end up buying there are prepared foods - which actually aren't too much higher than buying the base ingredients but they often have unhealthy levels of salt.) I know I spend excessively on groceries, end up having lots of things spoil and would like to cut costs down. I have no excuse - but just trying to get by with feeling overscheduled & tired & the thought of managing a week's worth of menus in advance & dealing with the whims of the kids, myself and DH around foods vs. having the range of things in the house, on hand, and relatively easy to prepare each day just seems overwhelming on top of everything else. As I type I know that sounds pathetic, but it's the truth. I also theoretically know the best advice is to plan out meals & stick to those & also to buy fewer prepared items.

I hate to meal plan, so what I do is just make sure I have lots of stuff on hand that won't spoil, but a few things that are in season, and then hit up allrecipes.com to see what I can make. Usually I can find something on there that will take about 30 min to make and tastes great. That way, I don't feel chained to a meal plan, but I'm not spending a huge amount on groceries or wasting food. I'm a vegetarian so that probably helps as well (lots of frozen veggies and dried beans I can throw into a pressure cooker to speed up cooking tremendously.)

[Anonymous]

I meant "*buy* a few things that are in season"

[Anonymous]

It is likely processed, packaged foods that are busting the budget. You need to make more meals from scratch. I started this and reduced bill in half. I still buy irganic dairy, produce and some meat.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was a lot like your wife. I didn't buy any $3000 sofas, but maybe I should have, since we bought a $500 one and had to replace it after a year (right after the warranty ended).
Let me tell you where I came from. I was home alone with a toddler all day, which is both exhausting and boring (what a combination!). I used to be a high earner, and now I could not just up and go to get my nails done, or shopping, etc.
we just moved to a new area, I didn't know anyone, I had no babysitters, etc.
I often had to make decisions very fast, and they could not be very time consuming. I had to get some decent food, but I couldn't go driving around town visiting 3 stores and reading labels with a toddler in tow. Yes I preferred to buy online, pay for deliver, etc, whenever possible.
We had huge fights about it with my husband. Yes I felt micromanaged, yes I felt under appreciated. Luckily things got better, DS went to part time preschool, I had more time for careful research and planning and actual shopping.
So, maybe your wife is just overwhelmed. Does she have any kind of childcare? For some of us, kids are overwhelming and tiring, especially at first.
Not saying she is right you are wrong, just trying to show you her side of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was a lot like your wife. I didn't buy any $3000 sofas, but maybe I should have, since we bought a $500 one and had to replace it after a year (right after the warranty ended).
Let me tell you where I came from. I was home alone with a toddler all day, which is both exhausting and boring (what a combination!). I used to be a high earner, and now I could not just up and go to get my nails done, or shopping, etc.
we just moved to a new area, I didn't know anyone, I had no babysitters, etc.
I often had to make decisions very fast, and they could not be very time consuming. I had to get some decent food, but I couldn't go driving around town visiting 3 stores and reading labels with a toddler in tow. Yes I preferred to buy online, pay for deliver, etc, whenever possible.
We had huge fights about it with my husband. Yes I felt micromanaged, yes I felt under appreciated. Luckily things got better, DS went to part time preschool, I had more time for careful research and planning and actual shopping.
So, maybe your wife is just overwhelmed. Does she have any kind of childcare? For some of us, kids are overwhelming and tiring, especially at first.
Not saying she is right you are wrong, just trying to show you her side of things.

The above is really something to consider.

I was really good at managing our food budget/meal planning before I had our 3rd child. I was couponing and stockpiling (buying more than what we needed when it was on sale and saving it) at the time, but I was also meal planning around the sale items each week - which is very helpful by itself.

I don't do any of that at this point. I shop at TJs every 3 weeks and Harris Teeter, Giant as a back up, each week. I don't like Safeway and haven't had the same experience as those who say WF isn't more expensive.

[Anonymous]

Trader Joe's is not expensive!!

[Anonymous]

I am assuming your wife stays at home. Give her a monthly budget, and whatever is left over is hers. Maybe once she realizes that she only has a certain amount to spend, she will be more thrifty.

Op I would be pissed if I was working and making money only to see it thrown away each month. I am exceptionally frugal, so this would be very difficult for me.

Agree with pp, plan meals, make list, stick to list. She will save a ton.

[Anonymous]

DW is putting DD to bed, so I'm making dinner. We're having: baked salmon fillet (sprinkled with salt, pepper, olive oil, fresh lemon juice), and boiled asparagus (with soy sauce). Total dinner cost: $10. Salmon was on sale at Giant for $8 for 1.1 pounds (1lb for us, 0.1 lb for DD unseasoned for lunch tomorrow), and so was asparagus ($2).

That's our strategy -- buy what's on sale but still good for you, and make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am assuming your wife stays at home. Give her a monthly budget, and whatever is left over is hers. Maybe once she realizes that she only has a certain amount to spend, she will be more thrifty.

Op I would be pissed if I was working and making money only to see it thrown away each month. I am exceptionally frugal, so this would be very difficult for me.

Agree with pp, plan meals, make list, stick to list. She will save a ton.

This is a terrible idea and won't be received well. You don't just "give" your wife a budget as if she's a teenage child. You clearly need to sit down with your wife and get each other on the same page.

[Anonymous]

I do 90% of grocery shopping at WF and TJ and it comes to $600-800/mo for a family of 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I (DH) do most of our grocery shopping. Giant is cheaper than TJ and WF overall. However, I also buy stuff on sale and Giant has better and more frequent sales. For example, I'll only buy avocados if they're on sale, and it's $1/each at Giant, and rarely that cheap at the others (also TJs has poor produce selection). Same with OJ, cheese, etc. Get it on sale. Then, I throw a few coupons in the mix and we save 25% off our bill at each Giant visit. I spend no more than 10 mins a week clipping coupons from Sunday's paper, and it's while DD is playing with the coupon pages I'm not using (scattering them around).

I cook at least half our dinners while DW is getting DD to bed. For meals, if I decide on fish, then it's whatever fish is on sale that week, and same with chicken or beef. I choose the cut that's on sale, and work with that. For DD, I'd say about 50-75% of her stuff we get organic, but sometimes it's difficult to find.

Giant gives you those "total saved this year" at the bottom of each receipt. I think we saved $1500 last year, for a family of 3 and DD wasn't even born yet for half of last year.

I only go to WF if there's a special produce item that Giant is sold out of (baby bok choy for example).

TJ I really dont' see the appeal. Most of their "good" stuff is the frozen and otherwise processed food. Their produce selection is very poor, and same with fresh meat/fish selection.

You sound like a great partner!

[Anonymous]

I think dw is buying a lot of crap at WF. Also agree that there is a bigger issue at play here (i suspect boredom). I would start with cutting the eating out. My DH and I did an "eat out diet". No eating out for 30 days only a few exceptions (work meeting, special invitation etc). It really inspired us to use the kitchen!

[Anonymous]

^^ by crap I mean useless crap, not just lots of things