Why won't my wife shop at Giant or Safeway like a normal person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am assuming your wife stays at home. Give her a monthly budget, and whatever is left over is hers. Maybe once she realizes that she only has a certain amount to spend, she will be more thrifty.

Op I would be pissed if I was working and making money only to see it thrown away each month. I am exceptionally frugal, so this would be very difficult for me.

Agree with pp, plan meals, make list, stick to list. She will save a ton.

This is a terrible idea and won't be received well. You don't just "give" your wife a budget as if she's a teenage child. You clearly need to sit down with your wife and get each other on the same page.

Then wife needs to get a damn job!

[Anonymous]

Have any of you actually price compared these places? The Safeway in my neighborhood is more expensive than Whole Foods and even CVS on many items. I don't get why people say WF is expensive. I mean, sure, if you compare a bag of wonderbread to a loaf of organic bread, but one of those products is inferior. Amy's frozen meals and Seventh Generation stuff and other packages things are cheaper army WF.

[Anonymous]

Was she into organic food before you married? This was a deal breaker for me. Buying organic food is super important to me.

[Anonymous]

Food in the freezer for one week gets ditched? I think you're being passive aggressive oP, if that's the case. I get the sense that you're like my in laws. They never communicate, so when they do they fight, they both think they're right and won't accept their own flaws, then they passive aggressively do things to piss the other one off to prove a point.

$300 a week is a LOT of money for a family of 3 who also eats out. When I was a sahm, I would shop late one weeknight after the kids were asleep. It's quiet, it's empty, and so much easier than when kids are in tow. Plenty of time to comparison shop. Something else is going on here. I agree that marriage counseling should be a priority.

[Anonymous]

"Groceries are the least of your problems. You and she need to get on the same financial page. I would discuss it in front of a marriage counselor. This is seriously deal-breaker stuff. If it was just food, I would offer a work around for that small portion of the budget. The problem you describe in your follow-up post is much bigger than that. Your wife does not understand how the family finances work and is not supportive of you being able to successfully support the family. Either she needs to get on board with your financial goals, she needs to go back to work so that she can afford all of the financial goals she seems to have, or you need to maintain reasonable financial goals and give her only a small portion of the budget that is within her control."

+1, though I'm not convinced the issue is solely the wife. OP still hasn't said whether their budget can't handle her spending or whether they just have different money values. And he hasn't said how their relationship is otherwise or what else the wife does that is of value. OP sounds controlling - it doesn't sound like they've worked through their shared values and goals yet, and he's angry and wants her to change. Either they haven't spent enough time talking and listening to each other, or she's resentful about other issues and is taking it out on him this by spending money, or one or both of them have more serious issues that need to be worked through with a counselor, but this isn't about what grocery store to use.

[Anonymous]

new sofa - Hamilton's in 7 Corners. We're on our second from there (first died after a tree came through our roof) and we love them. Spent about $1000 each time.

[Anonymous]

So, does your wife SAH?

If she works outside the home, then I don't see why it's entirely upon her to do the grocery shopping. If you don't like the way it's done, then OP should do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I just discussed this and he supports me. I only shop at whole foods b/c I don't have to sort through all the crap that isn't really food to find actual food (box reading just isn't going to happen with a toddler in tow) and the quality is infinitely better for produce, meat, bread and basically everything else for not that much more money. Every time I walk into a "regular" grocery store, I wonder why the hell we can't just produce food in this country that isn't full of a bunch of chemicals and crap that make us fat and mess with developing brains.

You can't control all the cr@p that we're exposed to but for the things we can control, like the quality of food we're purchasing, why not try to minimize exposure that way?

I totally get where your wife is coming from.

Yeah, isn't it crazy that you can't buy cage-free eggs, organic milk, and organic produce at conventional grocery stores?

oh wait..

McCoy, organic and the like is almost always more expensive at Safeway and Giant.

And good luck finding at bread not loaded with dough conditioners or stabalisers.

Something's, like conventional pasta Nd rice maybe cheaper but generally lower quality.

OK. Let's make a cup of plain white rice from Safeway and a cup of plain white rice from WF and see if you can tell the difference.

[Anonymous]

Also as an alternative to WF and its a local business is MoMs. I do most of my shopping there, although I do go to WF for fish and some meats (if I'm there for the fish). Sometimes I get annoyed by the number of places I go too - I've go to Moms for some stuff, Costco for others, WF for some stuff, TJ for some stuff, HT for other. Though from the sound of it, I'm spending way to much, we're at about $1200 for a family of 4 (per quicken 2314 for groceries and dining out the past 30 days. )

[Anonymous]

I smell a rat.

OP, does your DW work outside the home? Haven't gotten an answer to that...

Do you have expensive hobbies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I've tried. I sat down at work and created an extensive Excel spreadsheet with all of our transaction and showed exactly how much per month is going out to whole foods. She takes it as an affront to her ability to be a homemaker when I challenge how much we spend on groceries and dining out.

OP, what are your contributions in this area, aside from the income generated from your employment? DH and I have a great relationship, but if he were to approach me in this fashion, I may not take it so well, especially if he is not doing any of the grocery shopping, meal planning, or meal prep. Even though I work P/T, I still expect DH to contribute to running the household and he holds same expectation of himself. You can't expect your wife to do something if you don't do it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Do you have any Aldi's in your area? (I'm not local here). They have a line of organic now called 'Simple' and mine has organic produce as well. They're owned by the same company as Trader Joes...prices are like half!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask her why she does not want to shop at cheaper grocery stores?

Yes. She's of the impression that everything sold there is inferior. That the produce will end up giving our kid a 3rd arm. Even though you can buy organic from there. Hell you can buy organic at WalMart. But I'll settle for Giant since it's close enough. We're also spending another $400 a month of dining out at Crisp & Juicy, 2 Amys, MeiWah etc. This is bullshit. And when I brought it up she started yelling about not having time to cook etc.

She sounds very silly. Giant food is inferior -- yet she's feeding your kid from Crisp & Juicy, 2 Amys, and Meiwah? Does she think they use ingredients that are organic or in any way higher quality than what she would be getting at Giant? Your kid would be much better off eating the "crap' from Giant than the overly sugary, salty, fried (albeit delicious!) stuff your wife is getting from carry-out. Good luck with this one!

[Anonymous]

The meat at Giant is just scary. Ewwww.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask her why she does not want to shop at cheaper grocery stores?

Yes. She's of the impression that everything sold there is inferior. That the produce will end up giving our kid a 3rd arm. Even though you can buy organic from there. Hell you can buy organic at WalMart. But I'll settle for Giant since it's close enough. We're also spending another $400 a month of dining out at Crisp & Juicy, 2 Amys, MeiWah etc. This is bullshit. And when I brought it up she started yelling about not having time to cook etc.

She sounds very silly. Giant food is inferior -- yet she's feeding your kid from Crisp & Juicy, 2 Amys, and Meiwah? Does she think they use ingredients that are organic or in any way higher quality than what she would be getting at Giant? Your kid would be much better off eating the "crap' from Giant than the overly sugary, salty, fried (albeit delicious!) stuff your wife is getting from carry-out. Good luck with this one!

Explain. Explain how eggs from Giant are "inferior."