husband meeting former female coworker for drinks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I just met my former boss Thursday night at Passion Fish. We meet up about once a month. We worked together for years and are really close. We spend a lot of time talking about our kids. He's a family man. He's also very successful and is absolutely someone to keep close.

I think the point is not that there aren't innocent friendships between male and female coworkers or former coworkers, but that a LOT of affairs happen that way, so it's not a bad idea to be wary.

I think your situation is the exception, not the rule. And even then, you might be shocked to find out some day that your former boss has a thing for you. Just because he doesn't act on it doesn't mean it isn't there.

And if you knew he had a thing for you, you probably wouldn't meet up with him alone, because it would feel like a different type of situation.

I used to be naive, but I think that what I mention above happens more than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I just met my former boss Thursday night at Passion Fish. We meet up about once a month. We worked together for years and are really close. We spend a lot of time talking about our kids. He's a family man. He's also very successful and is absolutely someone to keep close.

As long as you realize that the only reason he's doing this is because he's at least harboring on a fantasy level the desire to have sex with you, then at least you're being honest with yourself.

But PP it almost seems like you think he really doesn't have anything better to do with his time then meet with a woman he no longer works with, who he's not married to, on a monthly basis? Just cause he likes your platonic company? Seriously?

If he's a "family man" why is he meeting with you monthly for these dates? You understand these are dates, PP, don't you?

For that matter--why do you have a dating relationship with him, PP? Aren't you a family woman, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I just met my former boss Thursday night at Passion Fish. We meet up about once a month. We worked together for years and are really close. We spend a lot of time talking about our kids. He's a family man. He's also very successful and is absolutely someone to keep close.

I think the point is not that there aren't innocent friendships between male and female coworkers or former coworkers, but that a LOT of affairs happen that way, so it's not a bad idea to be wary.

I think your situation is the exception, not the rule. And even then, you might be shocked to find out some day that your former boss has a thing for you. Just because he doesn't act on it doesn't mean it isn't there.

And if you knew he had a thing for you, you probably wouldn't meet up with him alone, because it would feel like a different type of situation.

I used to be naive, but I think that what I mention above happens more than you think.

PP obviously has "a thing" for her ex-boss too, doesn't she?

What married with children/professional career person actually has time to meet an ex-boss for drinks on a monthly basis, unless they really REALLY REALLY want to spend time with that person?

She is eyeing him up for an affair obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I just met my former boss Thursday night at Passion Fish. We meet up about once a month. We worked together for years and are really close. We spend a lot of time talking about our kids. He's a family man. He's also very successful and is absolutely someone to keep close.

I think the point is not that there aren't innocent friendships between male and female coworkers or former coworkers, but that a LOT of affairs happen that way, so it's not a bad idea to be wary.

I think your situation is the exception, not the rule. And even then, you might be shocked to find out some day that your former boss has a thing for you. Just because he doesn't act on it doesn't mean it isn't there.

And if you knew he had a thing for you, you probably wouldn't meet up with him alone, because it would feel like a different type of situation.

I used to be naive, but I think that what I mention above happens more than you think.

PP obviously has "a thing" for her ex-boss too, doesn't she?

What married with children/professional career person actually has time to meet an ex-boss for drinks on a monthly basis, unless they really REALLY REALLY want to spend time with that person?

She is eyeing him up for an affair obviously.

From her post, I get the impression that she's exploiting the crush he has on her for potential career advancement in the future. She says he successful and someone you want to have close. I find it hard to believe that a very successful man who is also a "family man" with kids would make time for a monthly meetup with a former coworker/underling just because he likes her on a purely platonic basis. And if he does have a thing for her, she has to sense it in some way. That's not to say that either of them will ever actually cheat, but it's not entirely innocent.

Of course, this is all speculation. I could be wrong. And my younger self wasn't as cynical. But I've seen this stuff play out too many times.

And too many times have I had coworkers who leveraged what seemed to be a sort of crush to their professional advantage by feeding the crush just enough to ingratiate themselves with the person but not enough to actually technically count as cheating. It disgusts me. But it happens.

[Anonymous]

Sounds fine and normal to me. I have several former coworkers I maintain contact with and have drinks with when they are in town for work. Never does the conversation go inappropriate.