Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
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Anonymous
| You do sound like you're "over" the FS, OP, if you're not happy with Warsaw or Seoul. Seoul is a wonderful city. I'm not a fan of living abroad for years at a time, but even I wouldn't be miserable in Seoul. |
Anonymous
This. It's not that big a deal anymore, lots of people doing unaccompanied tours (sometimes because they have to, some because they want to). There's some support available for the left behind spouse. Contact the FLO office. |
Anonymous
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I'm not connected to the FSO but I find this thread really interesting--a look into another world, so I hope you all don't mind a question.
Just want to ask about the rules. Can they start out together, say it ends up being Seoul, and DW gives it a try, and if she's still "had it" after say, three months, can she come back home? Or do they have to decide both go or just DH goes beforehand (for the allocation of housing allowance/set up purposes)? |
Anonymous
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You can make a chane to your orders once per tour. So, for example DW comes out to Seoul and stays for one year. She decides to come home. State pays for her trip back, but then she cannot return.
I did 1 year unaccompanied in Africa while my DW finished her degree in the US. She then came out for the remaining year. |
Anonymous
| OP here, we're now into 3rd round of bidding and the pickings are slim. His first pick was assigned to someone else so he needs to refresh his bids. DH is now pushing Dusseldorf and wants to put Warsaw down on the list. At this point he has three DC assignments (he only really wants two of them), Dusseldorf, Warsaw, Brussels, Seoul. I don't want Warsaw or Seoul but he has to put them down to meet bid requirements. He told me if I don't want to go to Warsaw he will not go there unaccompanied and would prefer to put someplace down like Dhahran. He says at least there he'll make more than enough to cover the costs of leaving me behind. |
Anonymous
| OP, you seem to be revealing a lot of information. Would your husband be embarrassed if his colleagues saw your postings? If so, I would stop posting here, and turn to a good friend to vent/share your concerns... |
Anonymous
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I really want to know what happens. 8:37, I don't know about this system and so I hope there is nothing to worry about; hopefully the FS has better things to do than check DCUM posts. I am so hopeful that OP and her DH find some solution that works for both of them!
OP please when it's resolved, just update us even if you need to be vague. I'm rooting for you both! |
Anonymous
Who would know his bid list in detail? I think the only people likely to recognize my bid list on DCUM are friends I've told. |
Anonymous
It's entirely possible the people who work on bid lists read dcum I think those cities sound do able |
Anonymous
| I am pretty sure DH's CDO is not reading DCUM and wouldn't care in the least! I could post of an FS thread, but they are not anonymous so DCUM is more appropriate for me to vent my frustrations. |
Anonymous
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Let husband do Dharan and make the money. You are in a mature marriage and it should be able to survive another solo assignment.
We are bidding far worse places as a political officer and I will accompany him with kids. |
Anonymous
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If there is a male FSO replying to this thread, I think it's likely, given the amount of information the original poster has conveyed, that someone out there might be able to identify the family. Stranger things have happened. I think that's a valid comment that the OP can take or leave.
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Anonymous
| She is just a spoiled FSO wife who doesn't understand or accept the concept of worldwide availability. She needs to ditch her husband and leave him to find some grateful woman when he goes overseas without her. |
Anonymous
What does whether an FSO is male or female have anything to do with what is discussed on this thread? 
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Anonymous
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OP,
You are NUTS to share what you've shared! |